"Oh." Wisely choosing not to add anything further, Giles instead focused on finishing his meal, barely aware of the crowing voice in his head. Perfect. You did well there, old chap... well done indeed. Very clever trap you laid. You just wait... any minute now, she's going to confirm your suspicions and this can all be out in the open and dealt with.
She watched him silently, wondering how to explain her fears and whether to at all. Eventually, she opted for the honest approach and drew a deep breath. "What I mean is... it's the opposite. I'm... um... you see... I think... Dawn is... spending too much time... with you... not the other way round." Her voice had become quieter as she spoke until it was little more than a whisper. "And I want it to be us spending all our time together... like we used to."
"Before I left, you mean."
She just nodded.
"But, Buffy... we do spend all our time together... we live together, we eat together, we work together..."
"But not really 'together'. It's automatic. We're like... what's the phrase?"
A soft sigh escaped him as he reluctantly agreed. "Ships in the night."
"Yeah... like that. Not that I ever really understood what that means, but you know what I mean." She wrinkled up her nose at the odd sentence she'd produced. "Anyway, the point is, we never just... do stuff... without it being habit and I know that it's my fault and I know that it's not actually possible for things to go back to how they were because of what I did, but I can still hope for it. I mean, you're always acting like it never happened so, I guess, if I pretended too we could start doing stuff together again."
A small frown creased his forehead and not for the first time, he let the comment and its related painful memory pass, aware that this was neither the time nor the place for that discussion. Instead, he focussed on the current matter. "But, we do, Buffy. All the time."
"No, we don't. I mean... yeah, we do as a group, but what I really meant was... us... as in you and me. Alone. Not necessarily training, but doing stuff... together... like... the friends we used to be. You and Dawn have got this whole music thing going on and that's great, but... what about us? I want to get to know you better, Giles. I want to fix what went wrong ... and I don't want to wait until you're gone before I realise what I've lost."
"Gone?" He quirked an eyebrow in confusion. "Where am I going, exactly?"
"You know."
He chuckled a little, withdrawing his hand to point to his still-confused expression. "Does this look like the face of someone who knows what you're talking about?"
She grimaced by way of response. "See? You've definitely been hanging out with Dawn too much, talking like that. Anyway, I meant when you go home."
"Home?"
"England." She clarified.
The eyebrow inched higher. "And when will I be going there?"
She shrugged and looked away, concentrating on aligning her cutlery on her plate. "Someday."
In a millisecond he was reaching across the table again, wondering if it was her heartache he was feeling, or his own.
"Buffy, look at me."
Slowly, she lifted her head and did as he requested, half holding her breath in anticipation.
"I'm not going anywhere."
"But -"
"There are no 'buts'." He rubbed his thumb soothingly across the back of her hand as he spoke. "I promise you, I have no intention of leaving either now or at any point in the future."
"Hmm. No offence, Giles, but you've gone before - so why wouldn't you do it again? Wait - don't answer that," she added before he could answer. "I didn't mean that the way it sounded. What I meant to say is... well, whatever reason you had for leaving before must have been pretty big... and if I'm honest, I don't think I'll ever be not mad at you for going, 'cause, well... you went at a time when I needed you most. But, anyway... the point is, you went... and what's to say something huge won't come up again and you'll have to go back? Or, or what if you just feel like going back because you want to? I mean... England's your home, Giles... you must get lonely for it sometimes... and, it's not fair for us - for me - to keep you here if you really belong back there." She paused suddenly, blinking in surprise at the unexpected realisation. "I... just wanted to know where I stand, is all... 'cause if you're gonna leave, which you have every right to do, then I want to make the most of you while you're here."
"Well... like I said, I have no intention of going anywhere."
"Really?"
"Really." He smiled tenderly at her. "Do you know... you never cease to amaze me? Since the day you witnessed Dawn singing to me, I wondered - from your reaction - if perhaps you were still hurting over my leaving. I never imagined that it went deeper than that. I didn't even consider that you were miserable because you thought I was miserable. Well, I have a confession to make. You see... I'm not miserable. I'm not lonely for England - apart from the days when it gets too hot, but even then I would rather be here with all of you anyway. When I left before, it definitely seemed like the right thing to do. I was leaving because I felt I was in the way - in your way - and that you were relying on me too much. Had I known the hell you were going through, I never would have gone. I'm not going to make that mistake again... even with all that lays between us Stop worrying about me leaving, because I guarantee that I'm never going to leave unless you lot decide otherwise."
"Giles, I could never..." her eyes glistened with unshed tears of relief.
"Well, point made, then." He grinned softly. "Now - is there anything else that needs to be cleared up before we head back to the museum?"
Buffy nodded. "Can we still try and spend more time together, anyway?"
"Of course we can. Now, I'll just pay the bill and then we'll head back. We've a busy afternoon ahead of us." He stood up and took a step toward the cash register, before turning back to face her. "You keep this weekend free, and I promise we'll do something special... together... just the two of us."
He was rewarded with a dazzling smile.
"I'll do that."