Deciding to forego cooking, Giles settled for ordering a pizza and chopping up a side salad. Because, of course - we must have something healthy with all those 'carbs', he thought to himself with a smirk as he retrieved a cucumber from the salad drawer. After all, we don't want Buffy gaining even an ounce of cellulite. She'd never be able to wear a bikini again.
He almost snorted at the recollection of her last outburst over this matter, before his mind unwillingly - or so he tried to convince himself - conjured an image of her standing before him in the skimpiest bikini possible, flesh glistening in the sunlight after a dip in the sea. He suppressed a groan at the picture painted in his mind, all-too-aware of Dawn's presence in the next room. Clearing his throat awkwardly, he returned his attentions to the vegetable before him, wincing slightly as he forcefully chopped the end off.
Well, that'll certainly do the job in calming him down. He groaned softly and lay the knife down, before turning around to lean against the counter, lost in thought.
Why is it that she affects me like this? A grunt of annoyance at the absurdity of the question escaped into the air. Stupid, bloody idiot. You know full well why she affects you. Perhaps it would be more appropriate to ask why you keep falling for the wrong women.
Not ready to answer that question, he turned around once more and picked up the knife, beginning to cut chunky slices. Part of his mind rebelled against his avoidance, however, quickly supplying an answer. Men throughout the ages have asked themselves the same question and I doubt I'll be the first to answer it. The fact of the matter is... He paused, mid-slice, pondering for a long moment what the facts really were. The fact is that you can't help who you fall in love with and you can't help it that most of the time they don't return your feelings.
As if in reply, his heart reminded him of the first time he'd realised his love for Buffy. How is it that someone can look so incredibly beautiful when they're so intensely angry? His mind repeated the question that had sounded the night he'd discovered the truth of his feelings. Refusing to be pulled into the memory, Giles turned back and swiftly quartered the slices, throwing them into the waiting salad bowl.
"Just leave it be, you old fool," he muttered under his breath, "What's the use in rehashing the past or dreaming of the future? You know she'll never look at you that way, not even if -"
"Giles, are you okay?"
The Englishman startled and swung rapidly around at the sound of Dawn's voice behind him - nearly knocking over the now-full salad over in the process.
"Dawn! You should know better than to sneak up on people!" He nudged the glass bowl away from where it balanced precariously at the edge of the counter with one hand, while raising the other to cover his thundering heart.
She stared hard at him, torn between confusion and amusement. "But I wasn't sneaking, Giles. I called your name at least three times. It's not my fault that you were so busy convincing yourself that 'she'll never see you that way' that you didn't hear me. Anyway, who's 'she'? And what 'way' would this be?"
"I... uh..." he stuttered helplessly as he tried in vain to work out an escape. "She... um... I... uh... well... th-that's none of your business." Mentally pulling himself together despite his crimson cheeks, Giles straightened to his full height; attempting to regain his authority by towering over the teen. The desired effect was lost however, as he realised that she now stood nearly as tall as he.
Dawn grinned cheekily at him, not at all threatened. "Oooh... I see... it's a smoochie-way! Giles is in lurve!" She giggled girlishly. "Is there someone you like, Giles? Someone who you want to like you, too? Hmm? You gonna be singing any Beatles songs anytime soon?" The giggles grew and she moved past him to claim the salad bowl before retreating to the safety of the doorway once more, laughter still shining in her eyes. She paused long enough in her mirth to lower her voice conspiratorially: "Don't worry, Giles... your secret's safe with me."
With that, she darted out of the room and away from Giles who now leaned against the counter with a mortified expression.
"This... is... nuts." The muffled exclamation came from the blonde backing out of her closet; arms laden with clothes of every type and colour. "Why do I keep having this ridiculous conversation with myself... and why is it so hard to choose the right outfits? This is only Giles, after all... it's not like I'm going on a date, or anything."
Of course, you're right; you always are, aren't you? It's only Giles. It's not a date. It's not as if you might actually be falling for him. An amused voice whispered into her mind. "Exactly." Proud of her ability to ignore the latter part of the thought, Buffy started sorting the garments into three piles: 'definitely', 'maybe' and 'no way'.
The voice continued to prick at her awareness regardless of her ignorance. Sure. After all, you're not choosing that particular dress because Giles told you he liked it, are you? And you're not thinking of burning that top because you're worried Giles will think you look slutty in it, either, are you?
Buffy began humming loudly in an attempt to drown out the voice as she threw the aforementioned very-low-cut top onto the 'no way' pile. Unfortunately, the voice refused to be silenced. Stop trying to deny it - you're out to impress Giles... you know it's the truth and you know why, too. You love him. Admit it. You love Giles and you want to impress him 'cause you want him to love you, too.
"Yeah, right." Buffy snorted, mid-hum. She paused in her sorting as she responded huffily to her conscience. "Like anyone as... generous a-and forgiving could love someone as mean and selfish as me. I'd need to do more than change my clothes to impress him... I'd need to have a personality transplant. Plus, it's... it's just... don't be stupid. Me? In love with Giles? That's... that... that's just... stupid."
Quickly, she returned to her task; this time concentrating more intently on her task and humming even louder as she shut out the voice that pointed to the truth. Still the voice persisted, despite the growing intensity of her hum and angry edge it held. Finally she snapped. "Just shut up and go away, already!" The second the irritated growl left her lips, a bang sounded behind her. Turning toward the sound, Buffy took in the sight of her bedroom door bouncing off her chest of drawers and her sister backing quickly away from the doorway.
"Dawn? Wait... I didn't mean you, I was just... well... okay, maybe you should be yelled at, 'cause a little privacy would be nice. You know you shouldn't be barging in on me... or, well, anyone for that matter. I could've been naked or... something."
Recovering quickly from her shock, Dawn straightened and crossed her arms over her chest, staring her sister in the eye. "Hey, don't get all defensive with me. I only came up to tell you that the pizza's here and then I got worried about you. I'm sorry for not knocking and waiting for some crazy humming thing to stop killing you and invite me in."
"Crazy humming thing?" A faint hue of embarrassment crept slowly up the Slayer's neck and she turned quickly back to her packing. "I have no idea what you're talking about."
"How could you not have heard...? Oh." Eyes growing wide with realisation, a smirk formed on the teen's lips. "I get it. You were trying not to talk to yourself. Well, you resisted better than Giles."
"Giles? What's Giles got to do with anything? I-I wasn't talking about Giles... why'd you mention Giles?"
"Relax, Sis', I was only saying that he was talking to himself, too. He was a bit saner than you 'though... didn't resort to weird noises."
"Oh." The Slayer breathed an audible sigh of relief before sucking her breath back in sharply as her sister continued.
"Maybe you're trying to convince yourself you don't have the hots for someone too, for all I know. That would be just so typical. Everyone has someone except me. Well, at least I'll have a whole pizza to myself seeing as you're obviously not interested. Plus, as of about fourteen hours' time, I'll have the house to myself, too."
Eager to eat while the food was still hot, Dawn made her second speedy escape for the evening, ignoring the stutters of denial coming from the blonde too stunned to move.