Disclaimer: Check the Prologue.
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AN: Shinji and Rei here will be opening up a lot and, well, become OOC. Before flaming, please remember I warned about it in the Summary and Prologue.
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This is narrative.
"This is a dialogue."
"THIS IS SHOUTING."
'This is a quote/EMPHASIS made either during a dialogue or narrative.'
These are thoughts.
These are mouthed and facial expressions before, during, and after, a dialogue.
This tells where and when the following happens.
(These will be Author Notes)
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"Third Rule: Someone yells stop, goes limp, taps out, the fight is over."
-Tyler Durden
13:04
Tokyo-3 High-School
Mondays had been like this four times before: Shinji Ikari would arrive late, all bandaged and bruised, and today was no exception.
That didn't meant Touji wouldn't want to talk to him. Not to know why he fights, that's a far too personal subject. No, what he wanted to know was how he dealt with the wounds. It would come in handy for him, in the near future.
Trying to get rid of the thoughts of him asking her out for a nice lunch, Touji turned to Shinji, he and Kensuke were leaning against the rails forward, both with their arms interlocked, and Shinji between them sitting on the floor, with his back also leaning against the rails.
"Shinji, tell me, how do you deal with the pain and broken bones? Painkillers?"
Shinji swallowed whatever it was he was chewing, and replied in a warm amused tone
"Nope. I just live with it."
Kensuke now was the one who asked
"What?! Why? You enjoy the pain, or something?"
"No, Chuckles I'm not a masochist, I just don't want drugs running through my veins and affecting my body and brain all the time. It's like this, I only take medications during the first four to five days, and it depends on the wounds prescript."
Still, it must've hurt last night, punching that guy with a broken hand...
Shinji then looked at them, each at a time, and asked
"You guys didn't notice it, did you?"
"Noticed what?"
"I fought with my right hand behind my back. Not like I'd wish to break the other four fingers." He was now laughing. Kensuke said, in a light-low tone
"It mustn't be very nice, getting in a fight and the opponent grabs our hand and breaks it..."
Shinji, after hearing this from Kensuke, choked on the remains of his food. He was now coughing violently. His red face, though, it was either from the coughs or something else...
Kensuke must've seen it too, because he asked
"What's wrong, Shinji? That WAS what happened to your right index finger, wasn't it?"
Shinji, still flushing, just nodded rapidly, looking downward. Neither of them was buying it now. Obviously, Shinji was hiding something. Deciding to try and make him confess it later, Touji just kept looking down, observing his colleagues wander around the school. His focus, however, was concentrated on a group of girls of his class. Alas, thanks to his company, namely Shinji and Kensuke, Touji kept changing his gaze all around, faking the fact that, from the corner of his eyes, he would always keep gazing at a female beauty he had known now for some time. And dreamed about too. He then heard Shinji's voice
"Hey guys, any chance you two would head now to the class without me?"
Touji, perplexed, asked
"Sure, no problem, but why?"
Now he noticed Shinji had his gaze focused on something ahead of him, probably by the staircase door. Turning towards it, both him and Kensuke, they saw there, holding the door half-ajar, Ayanami Rei. Shrugging, he looked at Kensuke, called him, and headed to the doors. Kensuke spent just a moment there longer, and then followed him. They passed by Ayanami, giving her just a polite nod, and left the roof.
Rei's POVAlthough Rei kept her gaze always on Shinji, she was monitoring Kensuke and Touji's distance, by listening to their footsteps on the stairs. Checking one last time that the two of them were now out of sight and ear, Rei approached him, stopping only 7 feet away from Shinji, who was still sitting on the floor with his back resting against the rail.
"Tell me, why do you attend and participate in fights with no rules?"
Shinji glanced at her eyes for a moment, and replied
"Why do you do the same?"
Rei drew back a bit, honestly surprised.
"I do not participate in such."
"Yes, you do. Three times already."
Rei thought for a while, thoroughly confused with this, when it dawned on her what he was talking about.
"Our battles with the Angels were... - She opened her mouth in an 'o' shape, which meant that now she truly was recognizing his point, as well as her eyes opening a bit more- I see, you are comparing our conflicts with the Angels to these gatherings you go to. I fight because it is my purpose."
"Well, I fight because I want to create my own purpose. Through blood, sweat, and tears, if needed. And, right now, I need, because it's the only way. With all that, I've been fighting my inner demons, which plague my conscience constantly, telling me to do what others told me to, so that I'm a good boy and loved."
"You still do. You follow their rules of engagement."
"Yes, for respect. But I don't want their love. Friendship is welcome with open arms, Chuckles but I don't want their love in trade for my blood and pain. Deep Breath I want to learn how it feels to be alive; to feel true pain, anxiety, adrenalin, frustration, anger, I want to learn it. Once I do, I'll be able to build a life of my own, alone and away from everyone that knows me. One of them told me that, in order to defeat an enemy, we must know him. Misato already proved that to me seven times." Laughs
"I do not understand, I thought that friends were individuals loved and cherished."
"Yes, they are. And don't get me wrong, I love mine, but I needed to lose a tooth, and a lot of blood, to realize I already had friends, people who loved me. It's like I'm building my personality from scratch, starting everything all over again, so that I may find happiness and acknowledge it. Because I didn't. When I came here, and Misato became my guardian, I never thought what she really was to me, what was she doing. Only when talking with Kensuke and Touji did they told me something that made me realize that Misato loved me for the boy I was, not because I was an EVA pilot. Sigh In a way, she has become my mother... Or my big sister Chuckles. Regardless of it, I love her, for her loving me. That's the way humans deal with each other, I think. Emotions are shared and earned, not won nor conquered. –He looked at her more intently- For an example, if I wanted you to be my girlfriend; I would have to demonstrate to you what place you already possess in my heart, by offering you a special bento, or taking you out for dinner. But you wouldn't feel my love unless I felt yours."
"That would mean that I would only be your friend after you became mine?" She really was perplexed with this, not as if she knew that much about emotions, apart the essays and books she read.
"No, it means that you would never be my friend unless I was yours. Smirk That didn't come out any better, did it? –She simply nodded negatively- Alright, it's like this, either we become friends at the same time, or we don't. I look at you, and if I decide to be your friend, I'll have to talk to you, get to know you a bit better. If I like what I'm seeing, then I'm taking our potential relationship one step further, in the hopes that you enjoy my character, so that we come to consider each other as friends. If not, then I either walk away or keep it at its current state. This, in this case, would be nothing Small smirk. For a better example, here, sit next to me." He was patting the spot on his left.
Confused with it, she sat down on his left side, his left arm touching her right one. He was a bit embarrassed with it, though. He then said
"Tell me, what do you feel, right now? Here, sitting next to me, on a deserted roof."
She looked down, at the floor, for a few moments, considering it. What do I feel? I feel complacent perhaps. Satisfied, maybe. But why? Why do I feel good by being here, like this, next to him? Perhaps this is some sort of bonding, something akin to friendship. Companionship. Am I... am I afraid of loneliness? Or am I afraid of being without him? Why? Why do I fear being without his presence, his... friendship? Is that it, has he spent all this time, since he came to know my existence, to become my friend? Is that what drove him to pilot Unit 01 during third's attack, to protect me? ... Yes, that must've been his reason for piloting when he had arrived at Tokyo-3. And now, is he now trying to get to know me better? ... Or is he trying to make me know myself? ... Too many questions for me... Too many, because I am alone. If I had someone I could relate to, then I could discuss this with someone else...
Lifting her gaze from the floor, she looked at his right, where Shinji sat, and stared at his deep-blue eyes. She then stated
"I do not know what I am feeling. I think... I think that I enjoy being here, with you, but..."
"But you're not certain. Why? Because you never faced that, you never asked yourself why. Because you never came to realize what you feel in a certain situation, because you don't know how to. And that's why I fight, so that I may learn several things, important things, that my previous tutor and uncle never taught me."
Again directing her gaze at the floor, she heard the school bell ringing. Shinji continued
"Time's up. Now what'll you do? Will you follow the school's rules and go to class, or will you stay here a bit longer?"
"I do not understand, shouldn't I do the required procedure?"
"Only if you want to. We build laws and order, so that we can defy and break and twist them to our own selfish goals. It's what this is all about. I want to learn about life, so that I may find a way to decide when to follow and when to break the rules, so that I may feel happy. Like, as an example, I want to buy something, like a game, but I don't have enough money. So, that leaves me with a bunch of possibilities: steal the money from Misato, or from somebody else, maybe people I've never seen before; steal what I want from the store; save money to buy it in the future; ask Misato to buy it for me; heck, ask a loan on a local bank... I want to learn how to view every possible outcome, and weigh them, and then decide on one of them... Or several... I want to learn how to live, and in the Fight Club I can, because there's no lie among us. Last night, Aoba told me a couple of things about EVA who was classified too high for me. Last Saturday, one taught me a couple of things about the best ways to serve people as a waiter in the restaurants. Do you understand now?"
"Yes... yes, I do. – She rose from her spot and gave a couple of steps forward, towards the stair door, before asking, only turning her head very slightly to him- Only one last question. Will you... When you fulfil your goals, will you teach them to me?"
She heard clothes rustling and a few footsteps, meaning he got up and walked to her. She then felt a hand, a warm hand, on her right shoulder, giving it a little comforting squeeze. Blushing, she walked to the door, opened it, and walked down the stairs calmly. She definitely felt good in the roof, cherished in the company of someone trustworthy...
18:51
Somewhere in Tokyo-3Shinji and Rei were walking together, quietly discussing something. Kensuke and Touji went ahead of them, now and again looking back at the two, no longer so surprised with this, and Asuka and Hikari were leading the group walking ahead of the previous four, chatting about another gossip. Touji turned his attention fully to Shinji, and asked, in a sympathetic tone
"So Shinji, tell us, what really happened to your right hand?"
Shinji looked up, as a deer in the middle of a road with a truck about to run him over. He stuttered for a moment, until hearing the voice of Rei.
"Pilot Sohryu broke his index finger, for assaulting her in the elevator." Her tone and words were so cold, as if she had just made a stoic statement. Kensuke, however, caught something that might prove otherwise: she had a very faint smile adorning her lips.
Shinji was now blabbering, trying to come up with a credible lie, flushing heavily. As for Hikari and Asuka, the former was gaping at the whole situation, while the latter kept a blank gaze upon Shinji. Hikari then said, violently
"Ikari Shinji, you, of all people, what did you tried to do to Asuka?"
"I-I-I-I jus-s-s-t... Well, you see..."
"He touched my lower lip with his finger." Always blank, Asuka turned around and kept going, leaving the group behind. Hikari threw an indignant scowl at Shinji, and then gave a sprint to reach Asuka. The two then continued on their own, now keeping a good distance from the four.
As for Touji and Kensuke, they both looked at him with an amused face, and resumed their pace. Shinji, blush diminishing, looked at Rei. She, keeping her small smile, just stated, in a fake-innocent tone
"Didn't you say that there were no lies between us?"
Shinji blinked, growled, and then said in an angered tone
"Well, you never told me anything about your past..."
Rei looked at the other side of the street for a moment, before replying, in a murmur, as soft and calm as a swift cool breeze
"Not yet. Soon, Shinji... soon..." She then kept walking, on a slower pace, as if waiting for him to keep up with her.
Shinji, now feeling a bit bad about his outburst, was going to apologize, when he heard the unmistakable sound of tires. Looking back, he saw a blue Renault he knew by heart already. Turning to Rei, he saw that she too had noticed it. He stood where he was, without saying a word, until the Alpine reached them. Within, there was Misato behind the steering wheel, which addressed him.
"Hey, Shinji, where's Asuka?"
Shinji simply pointed forward the pave walk. Misato gave him a nod and said
"Hop in; the three of you are having a new test scheduled to fifteen minutes ago. Come on."
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TBC
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AN: No beta-reader has proof-read this chapter.