Disclaimer: Check the Prologue.
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AN: This is just an interlude, hence a short one. Oh and there's a goal with this chapter: lighten up and relax any wandering nerves...
To Ghost Man: Well, if you like movies with Mayhem and Mischief, along with Humour, then go for it, you won't be sorry... About your offer, I believe you've got credentials, and I'm honoured for such, but this fic doesn't need one... yet... But, thanks again for the offer, I'll make sure to keep you on my list Smirks
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This is narrative.
"This is a dialogue."
"THIS IS SHOUTING."
'This is a quote/EMPHASIS made either during a dialogue or narrative.'
These are thoughts.
These are mouthed and facial expressions before, during, and after, a dialogue.
This tells where and when the following happens.
(These will be Author Notes)
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"Our fathers were our models for God. If our fathers bailed, what does that tell you about God?"
-Tyler Durden
Around 22:00
NERV HQ, Geofront
She didn't really like the Commander's orders. True, if she were in his place, she might've done something similar, but she isn't, so she allowed some rebellious spite to rise. Turning to Hyuga, relieved they had managed to wipe out the 11th Angel, she asked him to check the evacuated Entry Plugs signals. While waiting for reports, she let her gaze wander around, checking the Magi being lowered back into position. Turning to her left, she saw the bridge bunny, Maya, sit down in front of her console, and listen to some tapping behind her. She knew such; it served as a trademark signal for warning her that Ritsuko was approaching. Swivelling in the direction of the sounds, she saw Ritsuko coming to her, left hand holding several files and a clipboard, right hand massaging her own left shoulder.
Finally reaching her, she gave her long-time friend a smile and a weary nod. She then heard Hyuga
"We aren't receiving any signals, they're powered down."
Misato replied
Oh "Then we have to send a crew to retrieve them." She now heard a disgruntled female voice in the speakers that she knew all too well
"This is Pilot Sohryu, do you copy, NERV?" Smirking, Misato said, in an amused tone
"Good to see at least one of them remembered to use the emergency portable radio. Pressing a button in Hyuga's console, she said to Asuka
"Hey Asuka, how are you holding up?" Smiling, she expected nothing less than a fiery complaint.
"How do you think I am, sitting here naked, for over two hours now, with nothing to do?"
Chuckles "Sorry about that, but we had a problem here. I'll debrief you as soon as the three of you get back here. We're now sending a retrieval vessel to you. Any news on Shinji or Rei?"
"Nope. They're probably toying with each other over their own links!"
Now obviously amused by it, she told Hyuga to connect Asuka's feedback to the general speakers along with any transmission from the other two radios. She twisted a knob, set for Unit 01, and called Shinji for a minute. However, receiving nothing, she assumed he hadn't taken his radio from the emergency case. Now twisting the knob to Unit 00's, she called Rei. Almost a minute passed, before she heard the stoic voice of Rei Ayanami.
"Yes?"
"Hey Rei, this is Misato. How you're holding up there?"
A moment passed before she replied, strange thing, though, Misato could tell there was something wrong, for Rei's voice seemed... flustered.
Trying again, she said
"Say again Rei, what's your current state?" Expecting to hear an honest 'I am well', she was dishevelled by Rei's reply
"I am Moan, Clears Throat I am in a perfect state of being, Major Katsura— Moan don't bite so hard, Shinji..." Now this was something new – no, something nearly catastrophic! Gasping, she ripped off the ear set from Hyuga's right ear, and said, in a panicked tone
"Rei, report back, what's your current state!"
A few more intense moments passed, before she heard Rei's voice, now obviously in an epic, never seen before, state of mind and body
"I am well Long Moan Oh Shinji; I should've been informed earlier that you are an expert in this area... You'll have to come to my apartment soon, and give me a few lessons on Human Anatomy..." Her voice was slower than usual, almost as if she was dragging the words outside her mouth.
Swallowing dry, she shouted
"REI, IS SHINJI THERE WITH YOU?" She was afraid of any answer, right now. If it was a positive one, she would pummel Shinji to Kingdom Come, and set a full array of exams on Rei, to check for... If, on the other hand, it was a negative one, then Rei was in serious trouble, for she was either playing a prank on NERV, something unheard, unexpected, and practically impossible, or she had loosed a few bolts securing her brain, which would mean she would no longer be a viable EVA pilot. The reply was, really, so unlikely that she didn't believed it was his voice
"Misato, if Quick intake of air I'm a little – and here his voice was sounding as if he was choked – busy, so if you don't mind, we'll check back in Satisfied Sigh you're so tight, Rei... And your skin tastes so good... Incoherent Murmur And these are so soft and beautiful..." A few hearted moans and whispers were now coming out of the speakers.
Everybody in Central Dogma, was looking at the nearest speaker, mouths opened wide, eyes bugging out. And, in some certain cases, saliva was leaking and dripping to the floor.
Misato suddenly felt pushed aside by... Commander Ikari! Tearing the ear set from her right hand, he screamed
"REI, WHAT'RE YOU DOING?"
She wasn't sure what was worse, right now. The Commander was gripping, forcibly, Maya's chair, knuckles probably starting to bulge out, glasses lowered to the tip of the nose, and a facial expression of utter disbelief.
Rei, however, was not the one to answer
"Father, we're really busy here... Ahhh Yes, that's it Rei. There, lean to... Yes, that's good... Uff your legs in the way, allow me to just – and now female giggling was heard – So, you like this? Remind me to repeat this again to you later... - And now they heard both moan loudly at the same time. Now it was definitely worse, they were hearing, unmistakably, flesh heaving against flesh. Hearing a loud bass bump next to her, she looked at her left side, and saw the Commander on the floor, face in a shocked expression, and right hand grasping his upper left chest. She then heard Ritsuko shout for someone to call the paramedics. Turning to the speakers again, she was now hearing nothing, so she turned to Hyuga, who was frozen looking at the speaker. Pushing his shoulder twice, she asked him what had happened. Blinking and shaking his head a couple of times, he typed quickly in his console' keyboard, before replying
"They Swallows Dryly they turned off their radio, we can't hear them anymore..."
Passing a hand through her purple hair, she looked to Ritsuko, who was now making CPR with Maya at the Commander. Suddenly, looking at the Commander's desk, she saw only Fuyutski's legs, with his waist and upper body being concealed by the desk itself. Running to it, as well as hoping that the Commander and Vice-Commander would be lenient on the two, she started to prepare her speech to Shinji...
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Unit OO's Entry Plug
What Hyuga didn't realize, was that Shinji and Rei hadn't turned off their radio, but muted it only. And now Shinji was laughing quite loudly, along with Rei giggling, joy permeating her body for learning several things about life, its pains and miseries, and its joys and merriments... And for paying back to Commander Ikari for all he had done to her...
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Unit O2's Entry Plug
Unbeknownst to everybody, was Asuka curled up in her seat, without tears but also without any warm feelings. Feeling suddenly sunk and empty of all but frozen water, she sniffed and buried her head in her arms, before hearing loud laughing. Recognizing Shinji and Rei's voices hollering in laugh by her radio, she felt anger boiling in her, and then being replaced by a small smile and a content expression in her face. Whispering it, she said
"Bakas, can't believe I fell for this..."
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TBC
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AN: What? Nobody expected they were really making out, right?? Sigh Well, I warned in The Fourth Rule that the joke has been used around before... Several times, if my memory isn't failing... Credits and compliments go for their creator, not me...