What happens next?
You don't feel it, you cant. If you get hurt too many times, you get use to it. You can't tell if it's going to be the last, the final killing strike. You get numb by it. You don't remember how bad it hurt but you know it was painful emo. An tional illness, a desise. It's dead.
Covering the dead heart s pain becomes desperate.
A cut.
Accadental, but revilling a sense of light headed, confuses ion, but a moment of calmness by sight of blood, your blood. Pacing drips fall to the floor.
Who are you? You don't know. You don't want to know. You don't care .why would you care?
This is what you what feel. this is how what to be
The numbing relivfe is fadeing. I must feel this again. The addidiction is be coming a rage.
Puddles everywhere. Only until then you have realized what you have done
But you don't care.
You don't stop, it's an aderanalin, it is what keeps your appearance sane. A cover up for the dead hearts pain. To push it away, hide so no one would know, no one would ask by fake conseren
But the scars where found.
My emeines think it's an act, a way to get attention. Friends would think nothing of it. Family would panic in their fake guidance of love and conseren.
It cant be cantained for very long. Slowly building up with large and hard hits
I'm going to break.
What then? What now? Got to cover the dead heart, have to fide a hiding place.
My aderenalin, needs to be stronger, needs to be deeper. How else will I stay sane.
There a new way of thinking when the mind goes insane.
Hurt again but not the last. Been a shadow, so empty inside. No longer a need to run, no more reasons to hide. I can get get use to this, cause it dosen't realy bother me, anymore. Just fade away. no need for aderenalin, but I still like to see the red fall, and collect on the floor.
Its now my passion.
I don't care how wronge this is now. Totally apathaic about what happens next.
One last try. One last time to see my blood fall again. I want to fell this forever and i'll make it. With every cut, letting the moment set in to my new world, caues now allI see is black.