Disclaimer: Don't own any of the J&D characters; just Ezra and Jeren.
A/N: Another humorous fic concerning Erol and Ezra. You'll probably notice that I make Erol the reckless one, which make sense if you watch how he acts in the game. I also probably threw him a bit out of character for this story.
And did anyone else notice that ND changed Erol's name to Errol? I honestly like it better with just one r, but that's just me.
Thanks to Reviewers:Hellmouth2: The inspiration for the first story came from something that happened in my life. It involved my dad and my brother. They happened to be rough housing before bed, and my dad got the idea to push my brother out the back door in his pajama shorts (in the middle of winter mind you.) I just added the whole shower and bucket of ice water thing to get the story rolling. Soran Marlovic, Light Eco Sage,TifaLockhart27, And Jess.
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Age: 21 Rating: R (for language)
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Went out drinking late last night, I had a blast.
But now the morning light has come and kicked my ass.
I've got the worst hangover ever.
I'm crawling to the bathroom again.
It hurts so bad that I'm never gonna drink again.
And by my seventh shot I was in invincible.
I would have never thought I'd be this miserable.
I've got the worst hangover ever.
I'm rolling back and forth on the bed.
I'm worked so bad that I'm never gonna drink again.
Won't someone just kill me and put me out of my misery.
I'm making deals with god, I'll do anything.
Make it stop please!
Make it stop please!
I've got the worst hangover ever.
I'm crawling to the bathroom again.
It hurts so bad that I'm never gonna drink again.
I'll probably never drink again.
I may not ever drink again.
At least not 'til next weekend,
I'm never gonna drink again.
'The Worst Hangover Ever' By The Offspring.
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It had been a week after the KG trainees had graduated to guard status, and most all intended on celebrating.
Ezra entered the nearly packed Hip Hog and almost regretted that he had. It was going to take him forever to find Erol, in this crowd. And the only reason he had bothered to come in, was because Erol had his communicator turned off. Ezra groaned and began to pick his way through the packed saloon.
Halfway through the crowd, Ezra was able to spot Jeren at the bar. Now if only I could find Erol. He thought as he shouldered his way past another group of half-drunk KGs. Honestly, what was so fascinating about consuming so much alcohol until you can barely function?
Ezra stumbled out of the crowd, catching himself on the bar to keep from planting his face into it. Jeren quirked a blue eyebrow at him. "Having fun?"
"Oh yeah," Ezra deadpanned. "It's all just shits and giggles. Nice tattoos by the way." He added; taking note of the broken lines that ran down Jeren's face and the last half of his ears.
"Thanks." He grinned as he watched Ezra pulled himself up onto one of the bar stools and glance around the room. "Looking for Erol?"
"Yeah."
"I last saw him at the second booth on this side." He said pointing to the right side of the saloon. "I think he was having a drinking contest when I left him."
"Oh god!" Ezra rolled his eyes as he got up. "Did he instigate it?"
"No," Jeren said. "Couple of guys from another squad did."
"Great," Ezra groaned again. It probably wasn't a bad thing that Erol didn't start the contest, but then again, Erol was never one to back down from a challenge. "Why didn't you stop him?"
"Hey!" The azure haired man put his hands up in defense. "If I could have I would. Besides," He shrugged. "Your brother is stronger that me."
"That's not much of an excuse." Ezra glared, putting his hands on his hips, a quirk both he and Erol shared.
Jeren shrugged nonchalantly. "Take it as you like, but I tried."
"Uh huh." Ezra muttered as he wandered off to find his, most likely drunk off his ass, brother.
And find him he did. Right where Jeren said he would be. And from the looks of it, the contest was over.
Erol was the only one at the booth, and it looked like he may have passed out judging from the way he had his head resting on the table.
Ezra shook his head and approached the booth. And when he got there he found that Erol was for the most part awake, as he was humming off key to himself.
"So how badly did you loose?" Ezra asked eyeing the rather large stack of inverted shot glasses at the far end of the table.
There was a pause in Erol's humming before he started giggling. "I didn't." He said turning his head just enough to look up at his brother.
"I see," Ezra slid into the seat across from his brother. "And how many did you have?"
Erol stopped giggling for a moment and lifted his head to gaze drunkenly at the shot glasses. "Five or six…" He grinned and started giggling again. "I lost count after that."
Oh this is sad. Ezra thought as he watched his brother. "So now that you've gotten yourself piss drunk, I suppose I'm gonna have to take you home, correct?"
"No…" Erol sat up suddenly while gripping the edge of the table to keep himself steady. "I can get home just fine by myself." He said trying to sound sober but failing miserably.
"Like hell. You can barely sit straight."
Erol gave his brother a drunken glare that clearly stated, 'watch me' and then stood, albeit shakily, and made to leave the booth with an amused Ezra watching. Unfortunately Erol, in his drunken state, failed to notice or remember that the booth was a few steps up from the saloon's main floor, and as he took a step out he promptly hit the floor.
At that moment Ezra very sure that he was adopted and that it was complete coincidence that he and Erol looked alike.
He glanced over the edge of the table when he heard Erol burst out laughing, as if he found that falling to the floor was the funniest thing in the world. "I take back what I said before. You're not drunk, you're fucking wasted."
"Oh, I'd say he's a little drunk." Jeren said leaning against the wall by the booth. "How many did he have?"
"He says he lost count after six. But I'm guessing he had well over half of what you see there." The sober twin said pointing to the shot glasses.
Jeren let out a slow whistle. "He's gonna have one hell of a hangover in the morning."
Ezra nodded noticing that Erol had stopped laughing and was back to humming again. "I suppose we should get him off the floor before someone trips over him." He said sliding out of the booth.
"He doesn't sing when he's drunk, does he?" Jeren asked taking Erol by one arm while Ezra took the other.
"No," He said. "And it's a good thing he doesn't."
"That bad, huh?"
"You have no idea." Ezra said as they pulled the intoxicated red head up.
"Where we goin?" Erol slurred out.
"Home." Ezra stated, ducking under Erol's arm and holding it around his neck, Jeren following his example.
"Oh…okay." Erol snickered and looked over at Jeren. "Have I ever told you…?" Snicker. "That you have really pretty eyes?" That said, Erol broke into another giggling fit.
Jeren shot a horrified glance over Erol's head to his brother on the other side. "If that's a come on, you can take him home yourself."
Ezra grinned. "Don't worry, he says that to everyone."
"That's…disturbing."
They weaved through the bar doing their best to avoid other drunkards. Unfortunately this task was made all the more difficult because Erol simply refused to walk, so they were forced to drag him out.
The trio finally made it out the door and made their way over to Jeren's cruiser.
"Ooooh, can I drive?" Erol grinned when saw the vehicle.
"No!" Ezra and Jeren snapped in unison.
Erol stared wide eyed at the pair before hanging his head and began pouting.
Ezra rolled his eyes and proceeded to dig in Erol's pockets for his keys. "If you wouldn't mind taking him in your zoomer, I'll follow behind in his." Ezra paused when he noticed Erol was shifting his hips around while he was digging in his right pant pocket. "Oh, knock it off, you pervert!" He slapped Erol's mask down so that it hit him in the nose.
"Ow! Heeey!" Erol protested but didn't bother to push his mask up.
"Just as long as he doesn't start groping me or something." Jeren said, not really sure he wanted to be alone with Erol.
"Chances are good he's gonna pass out before any of that happens."
"You better be right, or else your fishing him out of the port."
Ezra answered by releasing Erol and shoving him towards Jeren then walking away.
"Oh, god!" Jeren gasped as he stumbled under Erol's weight, almost falling to the ground. "Thanks a lot!"
"No problem." Ezra tossed over his shoulder.
Jeren sighed heavily and looked down at the drunken red head. "Alright then, come on Erol, get up." He said, giving said man a tug.
"Uh…nope." Erol snickered, shaking his head.
Jeren's eyes narrowed as he knelt down and lifted Erol over his shoulder, grunting slightly as stood once again. He shifted the racer around for a moment then walked the short distance to his zoomer, with Erol humming the whole way.
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The morning after…
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"Ezra!" Erol hollered as loud as his throbbing head would allow.
Ezra poked his head around the corner a moment later carrying a glass containing a greenish liquid. He grinned when he saw his brother curled up on the bathroom floor clutching the toilet like it was a life line. "How ya feel'n?" He had to bite his lip to keep from laughing.
Erol's ears cocked down and back as he glared at his brother. The look only made his brother's grin larger.
Oh if looks could kill. Ezra smirked as he held the glass out to Erol. "Ya know, one would think that this stuff alone would keep you from drinking so much."
"Bite me." Erol muttered taking the glass from Ezra. He stared at the thick liquid with a look of utter disgust. God he hated this stuff. It was their father's home remedy for hangovers that consisted of various herbs and raw eggs. Not the best tasting, or smelling, stuff in the world, but it worked.
"It ain't gonna drink itself." Ezra said watching his brother make faces at the glass, before threaten him. "Drink it or I pin you to the floor and pour it down your throat."
Erol threw one last glare at Ezra before tossing his head back, closing his eyes, and gulping down the nasty green fluid.
Ezra was almost sick just watching Erol. He had the pleasure of drinking the stuff once before and after that he wasn't intent on getting drunk again any time soon.
"Blah!" Erol shook his head and shuttered as he finished off the glass.
"Better?"
"No." Erol glowered, offering the now empty glass up to his brother. "Because, not only does my head hurt, but I have a nasty taste in my mouth."
"Ya know what? I think I like you better when you're drunk." Ezra said, taking the glass and rinsing it out in the sink. "You're not so…bitchy."
His answer for that remark was the finger.
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Author's Rant: Funny (or scary) thing about this story…I was drunk when I came up with it. ::laughs:: That's terrible, isn't it? You find inspiration in the strangest places, don'tcha?
I have some more serious fics going for this series; unfortunately I'm stuck about half-way through them.