SPOILERS: None.
A/N: Thanks again to indiegurl2008, my great beta! Keep the reviews coming everyone; they are so helpful.
Grissom had finally fallen asleep around 3 am. His body clock tended not to cooperate, even when he was exhausted. He awoke hours later to a knock on his bedroom door. He sat upright in bed; shocked that someone was in his house and knocking on his door. But as his vision cleared, he remembered that his bedroom did not have yellow and white gingham checkered curtains. This is not my room. The knocking started again, a bit louder this time.
"Grissom, are you still sleeping?"
Sara. Grissom cleared his throat, "Um, no I'm awake, what's wrong?"
"Nothing really, it's just that it's almost 10 and the funeral starts at 10:30." Sara explained through the door.
"Sara, you can open the door." Grissom replied loudly while reaching for his white T-shirt at the foot of the bed.
The door slowly opened and Sara peaked her head in first to ensure Grissom was ready for her. Satisfied that he was decent, she walked in and shut the door behind her.
"Morning." Sara smiled and leaned back on the door.
"Yes it is, I'm sorry, I got to sleep late." Grissom apologized. He noticed then that although Sara was dressed for a funeral, she looked stunning. Her hair was swept up in a French twist with a few stubborn stray hairs wisping around her face. Her dress was a black, long-sleeved v-neck that fell just below her knee and clung slightly in all the right places. Grissom realized he was holding his breath as Sara started talking again.
"I know, me too. Did you still want to come with me this morning?"
"Yes, of course. I'll have a quick shower and get dressed. How much time do I have?"
"About 15 minutes." Sara replied, checking her watch. "Dylan is taking my mom over now. I'll go tell him we will meet them there."
"Ok." Grissom nodded and started to climb out of the bed. He stopped when he remembered he was only wearing a T-shirt and boxer shorts. The last thing he wanted to do this morning was embarrass Sara. Sara, however, was already out the door and she shut it with a soft click.
After his shower, Grissom decided to check-in with Catherine while he finished dressing.
"Willows"
"Cath, its Gil, how are you?"
"Gil! I was getting worried; I don't think we've gone more than 24 hours without speaking to each other on our cell phones."
"Funny. I just wanted to let you know that I should be back no later then tomorrow afternoon so I can be at work tomorrow night."
"Thank god because the boys and I pulled a double last night, this morning, whatever. It's been crazy here." Catherine paused a minute then added, "What about Sara?"
"What about her?" Grissom's pulse started to accelerate. He hated being evasive with Catherine; she always knew when he was hiding something.
"When will she be back?"
"Oh, I'm not sure; I haven't talked to her about that recently. When she originally asked for leave she said she'd need one or two weeks so don't expect her back anytime soon."
"Well, when you see her, tell her we're all thinking of her." Catherine suppressed a snigger as she waited for Grissom to respond.
"Catherine, I don't know what you are talking about." Grissom replied, trying desperately to sound mystified.
Catherine snorted into the phone and Grissom could picture the exasperated look of disbelief on her face.
"Just tell her. I'll see you tomorrow." The phone went dead.
XXXXXXXXXXXXX
The Sand Dollar Funeral Home & Memorial Park was the largest of its kind in Tamales Bay. It had a good reputation and the Memorial Park was a majestically landscaped cemetery with views of the ocean from many hilltop plots. It had surprised Sara to learn that her parents had actually purchased side-by-side plots years ago. It was so unlike them. Sara was sure they would want to be cremated and have their ashes scattered out at sea or buried at the base of a tree in Redwoods National Park. Perhaps Dylan was right, people really do change, even parents.
As they entered the funeral home, Grissom gently placed his hand on the small of Sara's back. She felt the warmth of his hand and it was extraordinarily comforting to her. Grissom watched as she graciously responded to the condolences of her family's friends and neighbors. They continued walking to the front row of seats where Diana and Dylan sat talking with Diana's family. Sara introduced Grissom to her Aunt Ruth and Uncle Matthew as well as two cousins that she didn't seem to hardly know herself. After a few awkward moments of small talk, the service began. Diana had asked an old family friend who happened to be a minister to give the eulogy.
Sara listened as he spoke about Jack Sidle, a man she realized that she really didn't know at all. He talked about a fun loving and caring person that loved his family. Sara found the familiar anger and resentment starting to resurface and she struggled to keep her expression neutral. Grissom could sense her tension and he took her hand, squeezing it softly, silently encouraging her to stay calm. Dylan was seated on the other side of Sara staring through the speaker. He found it hard to focus as he anxiously waited for his time to speak. His mother had begged him to speak on behalf of the Sidle family. Under the circumstances, Dylan wasn't sure how he could possibly stand up in front a room full of family and friends and talk about his father. He had decided to keep it as simple and honest as possible.
Sara noticed her brother's hands shook slightly as walked to the podium. Usually he was epitome of grace under pressure, as he was used to the cutthroat corporate world. But she knew that his current dilemma was nothing he had ever experienced before. When he glanced up she caught his gaze and gave him supportive half-smile. It seemed to relax him a little. Sara was surprised when Dylan began speaking about their childhood. She was amazed how much he remembered. He spoke of memories of good times that had long been buried by the bitterness in her heart. There were family vacations and, in fact, entire summers where their home had been a peaceful place. As the images flooded back to her, Sara was suddenly struck with a feeling she never expected. Guilt. She actually felt guilty that all she remembered of the first 13 years of her life was the pain.
Dylan eloquently skirted over the fact that as adults he and his sister had a virtually non-existent relationship with their father. Instead he focused on his parents enduring business partnership and marriage. He spoke briefly of the volunteer work they were committed to, mainly related to protecting Tamales Bay State Park and its natural resources. Sara assumed their mother had told him to mention it. Dylan ended with a wish that he had known his father better and that he hadn't taken time for granted.
"Don't make the mistake of living your life as if you can always make amends tomorrow. Live each day as if it were your last and hopefully, you will have no regrets."
After thanking everyone for their support on behalf of the Sidle family, Dylan returned to this seat and closed his eyes. Sara gave him a quick one-armed hug but her face remained stoic.
Grissom watched Sara closely and worried that she was putting up a strong front for her brother at her own expense. He knew the uneasiness she must still be feeling, despite his advice, but there was nothing either of them could do now but wait.
At Memorial Park, dark clouds and a strong wind prophesied an eminent storm. Sara trembled in spite of her heavy wool coat and charcoal cashmere scarf. Grissom noticed the movement and tightened his arm's grasp of her shoulders. As the coffin was lowered into the ground, he felt her lean against him more and he suspected that he was the only thing keeping her upright.
The storm hit during the drive back to the Silent Cove. Sara rode in silence watching rain pound the passenger window. The funeral had been harder than she thought it would be and she contemplated the minister's eulogy and her brother's final words.
"What are you thinking?" Grissom asked hesitantly.
Sara continued to stare out the window. "I never really knew him. Who would have thought I would actually regret that."
Grissom nodded in understanding and they remained silent the rest of the journey.
XXXXXXXXXXX
The house was nearly full of people by the time Sara and Grissom arrived. Sara wanted to get back in the car with Grissom and just drive away, but she knew she couldn't abandon her family. As they approached the front steps Sara stopped walking and looked at Grissom.
"Let's go around the back to the greenhouse for a little while; unless you are hungry now." Sara suggested.
"No, I'm fine." Grissom replied shaking his head.
Sara led Grissom around the side of the house and down the long driveway to the back gate. He held her umbrella as they scaled the steps to the greenhouse. Once inside, Grissom followed Sara to a back corner where there was a small bistro table and two chairs. Grissom admired the vegetation that had obviously been lovingly cared for.
"Your mother has quite a green thumb."
"Yes she does. This place has always been her…sanctuary. I couldn't come in here for years after that day, you know. It didn't bother her, but I just couldn't walk up those steps without thinking of her falling down them." Sara voice cracked a little and she looked away from Grissom. Grissom opened his mouth to speak but a distant voice drew his attention.
"Sara?" Dylan called.
"I'm here."
"Oh, there you are, I searched the whole house." Dylan gently reprimanded her, and then he smiled briefly at Gil.
"Sara, I need to talk to you."
Grissom took that as his cue to leave and he began to stand.
"No, please Gil, stay." Dylan requested.
Grissom raised his eyebrows and opened his mouth to protest, but Sara touched his arm and applied slight pressure to guide him back to a sitting position.
Dylan grabbed a folding chair from against the wall and sat in it facing Sara.
"Sis, I'm going to tell the police the truth."
Sara's jaw dropped slightly. "Wh-, when did you decide this?"
"The day you arrived actually, it's what mom and I were really arguing about yesterday morning. She thinks she convinced me not to do it but I just wanted to wait until the funeral was over to break it to her again, as gently as possible."
Sara thought for a moment and then she looked pointedly at Dylan. "No wonder you didn't mind that I had called Grissom. By then you had already decided to turn yourself in."
Dylan nodded and glanced at Grissom. "Actually I was glad you would have someone to support you. I didn't want you have to deal with mom on your own. It's just that Dad didn't deserve to die like that. The truth is he was sober and good to mom for the past 20 years. People really can change Sara. I just didn't want to hear it. I was determined not to believe him.
"Dylan, tell me what Dad said." Sara tried to prepare herself for the truth.
"He was apologizing for his drinking, for the abuse, for everything. He was ashamed and he just wanted me to listen to him and at least consider forgiving him, but I wouldn't even listen. He was right; I was being unreasonable and unforgiving. I told you before I was afraid he was telling me that I was turning out to be like him. I think he was actually trying to warn me not to. He didn't want me to be like him – stubborn, angry and maybe eventually…violent." Dylan's voice shook as he considered the possibility. "He knew the odds of a child from an abusive family becoming an abuser. He didn't want that for me. Maybe he even knew that I hold myself back out of fear. I have no wife, no kids. You think it's a coincidence that I'm a hopeless workaholic instead."
"So am I." Sara practically whispered.
"I know sis, and it's time to stop letting the past hold us back."
Sara had never been so relieved and so distraught at the same time. As the weight of Dylan's words sunk in, she felt the emotions she had been pushing down the entire morning begin to bubble up and overwhelm her. Dylan leaned forward and pulled her into an embrace; she sobbed quietly on his shoulder for several minutes. "I'm sorry it has to be this way, but it's the right thing to do, you know that." Dylan whispered. He held onto her for few more moments before looking at Grissom. "Gil, take care of her for me, ok?"
Grissom nodded slowly. He was amazed that a man he barely knew trusted him to take care of his little sister. Sara had been right to put her faith in him; her brother deserved it. Dylan lifted Sara from his shoulder and Grissom saw her face. His heart broke at the sight of Sara's tear-stained cheeks.
Dylan kissed Sara's forehead before leaving the greenhouse and returning to the house.
Grissom got up from his chair and bent down in front of Sara. He gently placed his hands on her swollen cheeks. "Sara?"
Sara lifted her head and struggled to focus. She noticed then that his eyes were slightly misty and his hands were trembling. Her heart leapt into her throat at his palpable display of emotion.
"I would have taken care of you even if he hadn't asked me to. You are not alone; not anymore."
Grissom's final words were barely more than a whisper as his closed the distance between them. When Sara did not move away, even when he was sure she knew his intentions, he gently pressed his lips against hers. Her lips were warm and slightly salty from the tears.
Sara wasn't quite sure what was happening until moments before their lips met. It took a second for her to respond and yet when she did, she was a fierce participant. Her hands went around Grissom's neck and she pulled him closer to her while he dragged them to a standing position. She needed to be closer, as close as possible, and she kissed him with all the fervor of a woman in mourning who needs the comforting touch of a lover. He deepened the kiss in response to her passionate reciprocation. After a few moments, the need for oxygen drove them apart and Sara buried her head against Grissom's neck. Neither moved nor spoke for several minutes.
"I needed that." Sara said softly.
"Me too." Grissom smiled and held Sara tighter.
TBCA/N: I had some requests for GS fluff so I hope you enjoyed the last scene. I've been trying to be realistic so I didn't want to rush the GSR, but there will be more later too, I promise! ;)