Author's notes: I changed a few things after JT's review. I agree with much of what JT said and changed the plot slightly (and added some charactar insight). Hope this is better.
Everyone things I'm made of stone. But, I'm not. Everything I've been through lately has made me rethink my mortality and how fast life can be taken away from you.. I don't often have time to think about things like this. Usually I'm rushing off to one emergency or another. But, tonight it is quiet. Somehow when I look at the stars outside it makes me think of how human I am. There is so much in life I haven't done. Life is more then killing demons and fighting with the Vatican. Or at least it should be.
I really think that I am so bloody tired of being alone. I'm 23 years old and have only been on a few dates. I don't meet many new people. And men are so intimidated by me. Most males can not handle being with a woman who has more power or strength then them. My family business, hunting vampires, has been hard on my social life. It doesn't leave time for one. The only people I meet are fanatical Catholic priests and nuns, insane vampires, my butler, and soldiers. None of these are very good choices for a mate. The Catholics are of course out of the question. I'd rather be with just about anything than a dreaded Catholic. They are so self-righteous and arrogant. It would never work. I would probably get arrested for trying to kill the bastards. Dating one of my own soldiers is just not possible. It just would not be proper. And the men would talk. I refuse to be gossiped about in their locker room. Let me see who that leaves…my butler and vampires…
There are only two vampires that I would even consider. The rest I'd kill the moment I laid eyes on them.
I'm the Master of only one – Alucard. He is a true monster. You might wonder why I would even consider being with such a creature. Alucard is a complicated creature. He was captured by my ancestors and has served my family for over 150 years. Alucard is loyal, obedient, intelligent, and when he wants to be, charming. I can't deny that he is extremely attractive. There have been times when I've felt very drawn to him. And although I'd never tell him, I have dreamt about Alucard on occasion. It is very tempting to choose him. But, my mind warns me not too. He is a monster. Alucard loves to slaughter God's creatures. The horror he would unleash if he could terrifies me. And I do not scare very easily. If I did not have control over him – he would want to control me. I can sense it. Alucard is possessive. Because I am his Master, he sometimes acts like he owns me. It is so utterly maddening at times. I have seen how poorly he treats Seras. It amazes me how he can be so obedient to me and act like such a git with her. But, it is often said that one's true character can be seen in their interactions with their subordinates. If that is the case – Alucard's character is clearly lacking. But, he is my protector. And he would defend me to the very end. When all else fails, Alucard is there for me. And I suppose that does count for something.
Seras Victoria…is his fledgling. But, I am her Commander. You might be surprised that I would even consider a woman. I know Iscariot would be. In fact they would be scandalized. That may be why this choice appeals to me. Generally, I do prefer men but there is just something about her. She is technically a monster too – a vampire. But, I have known many humans who were more of a monster then her. The girl clings to her humanity like she's afraid of what she'll be if she loses it. Seras refuses to drink blood. Although, she did drink my blood when I ordered her to and I must say that I rather enjoyed that experience. Seras also won't kill ordinary humans – even if they are her enemy. She can be so bloody stubborn at times. But, as much as her behavior irritates me, it draws me to her. The way she longs to keep her humanity is so endearing at times. There is innocence about her that I love. Part of me would like to corrupt her but another part longs to protect her. Seras is such a tomboy at times, but has a beautiful body. Sometimes I find myself staring at it when no one is looking. But I suppose what is more important then anything is Seras will do anything I ask. And I'm sure she would protect my life until the end. Since she has been here, Seras and I have become close. I can sense I intimidate her a times but lately she seems more comfortable around me. And the police girl has come to mean a lot to me. I never would've thought I would've cared.
Walter…is my butler. However, he is more like my father. Walter raised me since I was 13. He is my friend, my confident. I've shared more things with Walter then probably anyone else I know. He is a good man. However I just don't see myself with him. I think it's because I see him more like a parent. And part of me suspects that he has a crush on Seras. So no I don't think I could pick him
Thinking about them, the two vampires, I know there can be only one choice. It is probably not who you think. You may think it should be Alucard. But, I would never choose him. He is too cruel, too insane, and too violent for me even to consider. So it would have to be…Seras. I think I'll try to get to know her better. I'd never try to force her into anything. Sex has never been a huge priority for me. And with me being her commander; well the situation is just a little sensitive. I may suggest she and I go to a movie and see what happens. I've waited this long – I can wait a little longer.