"No, Shrek, no!"
This is a crossover between Van Helsing and Shrek. This was a very random thing me n my friend had as an inside joke so I thought I'd write about it... let's see what you think...
Van Helsing ripped down a poster bearing his name on it. It read: WANTED, MURDERER VAN HELSING. Then he heard a scream. Racing to find whoever it was, he ended up in a clock tower.
"I know you're here..." he muttered.
"You're bloody right I am!" came a voice from the ceiling, and down dropped a large green ogre. "Did you bring my mud pies?"
"Shrek, you -"
"Well did you bring them or not? I haven't got all day!"
"No."
"Well... then I'll just have to kill you."
Shrek jumped on Van Helsing and punched every inch of him he could reach. He reached for a large bell to throw over Van Helsing.
"No, Shrek, no!!!" screamed Van Helsing as the bell covered him.
Laughing to himself, Shrek did a little dance but before he knew it Van Helsing had escaped and cut off his arm.
"GAH!!! YOU BLOODY VULGAR IMBICILE!!!!!" roared Shrek, throwing Van Helsing across the room.
Then suddenly this clown came in and held out some mud pies.
"Mud pies!!!" exclaimed Shrek, chasing the clown around the block, Van Helsing on his heels.
"No, Shrek, no!" he yelled.
The clown threw a pie in Shrek's face.
"Hey..." said Shrek, "This isn't mud! This is chocolate! I HATE chocolate!!!"
He ran after the clown but the clown disappeared.
"Bloody clowns!" he swore. "Helsing! You'll pay for not bringing me my mud pies!!!"
Shrek bounded onto the roof of the clock tower.
"Come and get me," he taunted, smoking a cigar.
Van Helsing got up to the roof and fought with Shrek.
"Shrek - I thought - you were - a nice - ogre!"
"You bloody well did not," said Shrek, "You knew me for what I am!"
And he threw Van Helsing off the roof, who shot one of his contraptions at Shrek which pulled him up and pulled Shrek to his death.
"No, Shrek, no!!!"
Depressing, innit? Shrek died! Oh well I thought I'd write it anyway