AN: Well, now you all get to see what Hermione's idea was! I AM
SOOOOOOOOOO SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING!!!! To make a long story short, one day
my internet wouldn't work anymore, and we had to get a new computer, but it
still hasn't come yet, so I have to resort to updating my stories by saving
them on floppy discs and bringing them to my GRANDMA'S house so I can
update them here. So, to make up for my horrible computer problem, I am
going to give you guys TWO more chapters, instead of one. PLEASE forgive
me and my abysmal computer!
Mind you, Hermione's idea is nothing brilliant or anything, just something
kind of stupid. Ok? Ok. So, after some shout outs, onto the chappie!
Shout outs:
~*~From Signed reviewers:
chprincess – yes, I know you are a fan of complete randomness and so am I! (Hey y'all, read her story marauders summer vacation – it is hilarious!)
Kate the Tigeress – it's so nice to know that you think my story is the greatest story ever! It's even in your favorites? Wow! I feel honored!
Gryffindor-Gal79 – Well, first, I'd like to thank you for giving constructive criticism and not flaming me. It's amazing to me that you actually thought I had a plot, because the point of this story was supposed to be completely random, hence your next comment of "it's so hard to follow and a rather childish way of writing." And, I'm giving this story the funniest things that I can come up with without giving it thought, and most of my other reviewers think that this story is hilarious. And, you spelled material wrong.
Darbanana – I think you had too much sugar. And my story COULD be entertaining, I'll have to "entertain" that possibility . . . And I rather had fun writing the Hilary Duff performance by Malfoy. ^_^
RogueBludger – please tell Gryffindor-Gal79 that you think this story is the funniest thing you've ever read, I would greatly appreciate it, as she does not think my story is very funny. (I like the falling down dead thing in your review!)
Maggy Aethelwysdottir – (I hope I spelled your penname right) Yes, I am almost always this hyper, yes I could tell you were hyper as well, and it's nice to know that not one but TWO members of your family think my story is funny.
realistic mystic – you mean you like the traditional faces? Like this one :- ) or my anime faces? Like this one ^_^ And, your monster face didn't show up.
Honey Mocha Citrus – thanks for the tip on the spelling typos but if you mean the AN at the beginning of every chapter, it supposed to be like that. . .it stands for "authors note". I'm glad you like it anyway! (I love your penname!)
~*~From Anonymous reviewers:
Faerie – yay! You think my story is original! And fun! Much thanks to you, dear faerie!
Just a warning that this next shout out is for a flame.
you'reacrackwhore – well, I doubt you are reading this, but my other readers are. First of all, I do not do crack, and I am most certainly NOT a whore. Secondly, I don't like any REALLY bad cusses in my reviews. Thirdly, I am not going to pay any attention to the fact that you called this a "worst story", because I get many more praises then I do flames. And, if you scoop out your eyes, won't you be deprived of the sense of sight?
Jadehawk – I am glad the second chapter made you laugh.
And for all of my reviewers (signed and anonymous) who just said: "cool story", "keep going", or "what is hermione's idea?" or something of the like, I will list you here:
merlinsmagic, godric1, doooda, Ablubird225, crazy person, and JiLlStEr.
Thank you to all! And now, the chapter!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~Chapter 4: Prank Calls~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Hermione: I have an idea . . .
All e/ Hermione: What?!?
Hermione: we could make prank phone calls! |AN: I TOLD you it was stupid . . .|
All: OK! *Phone on a table appears in the middle of the living room area*
Ron: Sweet! Uhhhhh . . .how do you use it again?
Harry: it's easy. I know a good prank call!
Draco: Enlighten us.
Harry: OK! *Runs over to the phone and everybody follows – he then dials a random number, which just so HAPPENS to be the authoresses number*
Voice on the other end of the phone: Hello, this is SpicySugar, how may I help you?
Harry: uh-uh-SpicySugar! Hey! How's it going? I am NOT making a prank phone call!
Voice on the other end of the phone that we now know is SpicySugar: Harry . . .are you making a prank phone call?
Harry: uh . . .no!
SpicySugar: yes, yes you are Harry.
Harry: How did you know?
SpicySugar: One, because you just denied it, and two, because that's why I just typed you doing on the computer.
Harry: Oh.
SpicySugar: I am now typing, "Harry hangs up the phone"
Harry: *hangs up the phone* Well, that went well.
Ginny: *sarcastically* nice prank, Harry. *Snickers*
Harry: Well, this time it's going to work! *Dials random number*
Voice on the other end of the phone: Hello?
Harry: Hey, is your refrigerator running?
Voice: Uh, yes, I think so . . .
Harry: Well then you better go catch it! *Slams down phone* See?
*All stare back at him blankly*
Hermione: Maybe we should have it on speakerphone, so we can all hear the other end of the conversation.
All: OK.
Ron: Why don't you do one, Ginny?
Ginny: OK! *Pushes the speakerphone button and then dials a random number*
Voice: Bonjour?
Ginny: Oops! Wrong language! *Slams down phone* Uhhh . . .Ron! You next!
Ron: Sure, ok! *Dials random number*
Voice: *Chinese accent* Hawwo! Dis is the Ching Chang Chinese Takeowt! Cahn I take yowr order?
Ron: *pauses a second to think* Yes, I'd like three orders of sesame noodles, two large fried rice orders, one with steak and the other plain, an orange chicken combo, five orders of plain rice, and two orders of chicken lo mien.
Voice: Ah, you cahn geht shwee |AN: that's "three"| side owrders with dat!
Ron: ok, then, make all the sides of snow peas.
Voice: ok, yowr owrder will be weady in twenty minutes!
Ron: yeah, thanks. *Hangs up phone then bursts out laughing*
Hermione: that is a terrible waste of food, Ron.
Ron: oh well. Malfoy, you next.
Draco: But I – uh – I don't –
Hermione: Malfoy, the phone is very easy to use.
Draco: But – I uh – don't do –
Harry: *dials random number and them hands the phone to Draco* when the person picks up, just say something that a telemarketer would say!
Draco: uh –
Voice: Hello?
Draco: -_-;;;;;;;;;;;;;
Voice: Hello?!
Draco -_-;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;
Voice: GOODBYE! *click*
Draco: *gently puts phone down on it's cradle.* I – erm – don't do well on the phone. I get all clammed up and stuff.
Hermione: Well, being silent was a good enough prank call anyway. I'LL do the telemarketing call. *grabs phone and dials random number*
Voice: Hello?
Hermione: *in automated business like voice* Hello, I am calling on behalf of Smith's telemarketing service. Do you not get paid enough?
Voice: Well, I-
Hermione: Are you struggling to make ends meet?
Voice: No actually-
Hermione: Do you even have a job?
Voice: YES!
Hermione: Then you can be a part of Smith's telemarketing service! We give great pay, there are excellent retirement plans, and you get a whopping 180 days of vacation time a year, plus 30 sick days and 20 emergency days! Call now to-
Voice: *click*
Hermione: *hangs up phone*
All: *burst out laughing* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!!!!!
Harry: That was the best one yet, Hermione!
Ginny: very good!
Draco: I must say, Granger that WAS rather entertaining.
Hermione: Thank you, thank you! *Bows and curtseys*
Ginny: Ok, can I go next? I have an idea for a good one!
Ron: Ok. *Hands her the phone*
Ginny: *dials random number*
Voice: Hello?
Ginny: Congratulations, you've just won ONE MILLION DOLLARS!!!!
Voice: Really?! THAT'S GREAT!!!!!
Ginny: You just have to answer 5 questions.
Voice: Ok, what are they?
Ginny: One: What is your name?
Voice: John Smith.
Ginny: Two: What is your exact address?
Voice: 121 Ewald Street, Ganiton IG, 54321, Turkey
Ginny: *tries hard not to snicker* Three: What is your birth date?
Voice: September 26, 1968
Ginny: Four: What is your social security number?
Voice: 123-45-6789
Ginny: And fifth: Do you realize that I am just a fourteen year old girl making a prank call? HA! *hangs up phone*
Draco: That was pretty good, Weasley. Can I try the silent treatment again?
Ginny: *shrugs* Sure. *hands him the phone*
Draco: *dials random number |AN: were you expecting anything else?|*
Voice: *rough male* Howdy?
Draco: -_-
Voice: heLLO?!
Draco: ^_^
Voice: YOU DARNED KIDS!!!!! *Click*
Draco: Well, that one went better, didn't it?
Ron: you could say that.
Hermione: Well, I'm bored with this. Let's do something else.
All: ok.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
AN: I know this wasn't very funny. Ok, I've already got an IDEA for the next chapter, but I could use some other ideas, and some presents for me and for the characters! I g2g, talk to you next chappie! And, REVIEW!!! (All flames will be used to put Malfoy's hair on fire – all the hair spray/gel he uses on it must make it very flammable . . .)
SpicySugar
Shout outs:
~*~From Signed reviewers:
chprincess – yes, I know you are a fan of complete randomness and so am I! (Hey y'all, read her story marauders summer vacation – it is hilarious!)
Kate the Tigeress – it's so nice to know that you think my story is the greatest story ever! It's even in your favorites? Wow! I feel honored!
Gryffindor-Gal79 – Well, first, I'd like to thank you for giving constructive criticism and not flaming me. It's amazing to me that you actually thought I had a plot, because the point of this story was supposed to be completely random, hence your next comment of "it's so hard to follow and a rather childish way of writing." And, I'm giving this story the funniest things that I can come up with without giving it thought, and most of my other reviewers think that this story is hilarious. And, you spelled material wrong.
Darbanana – I think you had too much sugar. And my story COULD be entertaining, I'll have to "entertain" that possibility . . . And I rather had fun writing the Hilary Duff performance by Malfoy. ^_^
RogueBludger – please tell Gryffindor-Gal79 that you think this story is the funniest thing you've ever read, I would greatly appreciate it, as she does not think my story is very funny. (I like the falling down dead thing in your review!)
Maggy Aethelwysdottir – (I hope I spelled your penname right) Yes, I am almost always this hyper, yes I could tell you were hyper as well, and it's nice to know that not one but TWO members of your family think my story is funny.
realistic mystic – you mean you like the traditional faces? Like this one :- ) or my anime faces? Like this one ^_^ And, your monster face didn't show up.
Honey Mocha Citrus – thanks for the tip on the spelling typos but if you mean the AN at the beginning of every chapter, it supposed to be like that. . .it stands for "authors note". I'm glad you like it anyway! (I love your penname!)
~*~From Anonymous reviewers:
Faerie – yay! You think my story is original! And fun! Much thanks to you, dear faerie!
Just a warning that this next shout out is for a flame.
you'reacrackwhore – well, I doubt you are reading this, but my other readers are. First of all, I do not do crack, and I am most certainly NOT a whore. Secondly, I don't like any REALLY bad cusses in my reviews. Thirdly, I am not going to pay any attention to the fact that you called this a "worst story", because I get many more praises then I do flames. And, if you scoop out your eyes, won't you be deprived of the sense of sight?
Jadehawk – I am glad the second chapter made you laugh.
And for all of my reviewers (signed and anonymous) who just said: "cool story", "keep going", or "what is hermione's idea?" or something of the like, I will list you here:
merlinsmagic, godric1, doooda, Ablubird225, crazy person, and JiLlStEr.
Thank you to all! And now, the chapter!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~Chapter 4: Prank Calls~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Hermione: I have an idea . . .
All e/ Hermione: What?!?
Hermione: we could make prank phone calls! |AN: I TOLD you it was stupid . . .|
All: OK! *Phone on a table appears in the middle of the living room area*
Ron: Sweet! Uhhhhh . . .how do you use it again?
Harry: it's easy. I know a good prank call!
Draco: Enlighten us.
Harry: OK! *Runs over to the phone and everybody follows – he then dials a random number, which just so HAPPENS to be the authoresses number*
Voice on the other end of the phone: Hello, this is SpicySugar, how may I help you?
Harry: uh-uh-SpicySugar! Hey! How's it going? I am NOT making a prank phone call!
Voice on the other end of the phone that we now know is SpicySugar: Harry . . .are you making a prank phone call?
Harry: uh . . .no!
SpicySugar: yes, yes you are Harry.
Harry: How did you know?
SpicySugar: One, because you just denied it, and two, because that's why I just typed you doing on the computer.
Harry: Oh.
SpicySugar: I am now typing, "Harry hangs up the phone"
Harry: *hangs up the phone* Well, that went well.
Ginny: *sarcastically* nice prank, Harry. *Snickers*
Harry: Well, this time it's going to work! *Dials random number*
Voice on the other end of the phone: Hello?
Harry: Hey, is your refrigerator running?
Voice: Uh, yes, I think so . . .
Harry: Well then you better go catch it! *Slams down phone* See?
*All stare back at him blankly*
Hermione: Maybe we should have it on speakerphone, so we can all hear the other end of the conversation.
All: OK.
Ron: Why don't you do one, Ginny?
Ginny: OK! *Pushes the speakerphone button and then dials a random number*
Voice: Bonjour?
Ginny: Oops! Wrong language! *Slams down phone* Uhhh . . .Ron! You next!
Ron: Sure, ok! *Dials random number*
Voice: *Chinese accent* Hawwo! Dis is the Ching Chang Chinese Takeowt! Cahn I take yowr order?
Ron: *pauses a second to think* Yes, I'd like three orders of sesame noodles, two large fried rice orders, one with steak and the other plain, an orange chicken combo, five orders of plain rice, and two orders of chicken lo mien.
Voice: Ah, you cahn geht shwee |AN: that's "three"| side owrders with dat!
Ron: ok, then, make all the sides of snow peas.
Voice: ok, yowr owrder will be weady in twenty minutes!
Ron: yeah, thanks. *Hangs up phone then bursts out laughing*
Hermione: that is a terrible waste of food, Ron.
Ron: oh well. Malfoy, you next.
Draco: But I – uh – I don't –
Hermione: Malfoy, the phone is very easy to use.
Draco: But – I uh – don't do –
Harry: *dials random number and them hands the phone to Draco* when the person picks up, just say something that a telemarketer would say!
Draco: uh –
Voice: Hello?
Draco: -_-;;;;;;;;;;;;;
Voice: Hello?!
Draco -_-;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;
Voice: GOODBYE! *click*
Draco: *gently puts phone down on it's cradle.* I – erm – don't do well on the phone. I get all clammed up and stuff.
Hermione: Well, being silent was a good enough prank call anyway. I'LL do the telemarketing call. *grabs phone and dials random number*
Voice: Hello?
Hermione: *in automated business like voice* Hello, I am calling on behalf of Smith's telemarketing service. Do you not get paid enough?
Voice: Well, I-
Hermione: Are you struggling to make ends meet?
Voice: No actually-
Hermione: Do you even have a job?
Voice: YES!
Hermione: Then you can be a part of Smith's telemarketing service! We give great pay, there are excellent retirement plans, and you get a whopping 180 days of vacation time a year, plus 30 sick days and 20 emergency days! Call now to-
Voice: *click*
Hermione: *hangs up phone*
All: *burst out laughing* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!!!!!
Harry: That was the best one yet, Hermione!
Ginny: very good!
Draco: I must say, Granger that WAS rather entertaining.
Hermione: Thank you, thank you! *Bows and curtseys*
Ginny: Ok, can I go next? I have an idea for a good one!
Ron: Ok. *Hands her the phone*
Ginny: *dials random number*
Voice: Hello?
Ginny: Congratulations, you've just won ONE MILLION DOLLARS!!!!
Voice: Really?! THAT'S GREAT!!!!!
Ginny: You just have to answer 5 questions.
Voice: Ok, what are they?
Ginny: One: What is your name?
Voice: John Smith.
Ginny: Two: What is your exact address?
Voice: 121 Ewald Street, Ganiton IG, 54321, Turkey
Ginny: *tries hard not to snicker* Three: What is your birth date?
Voice: September 26, 1968
Ginny: Four: What is your social security number?
Voice: 123-45-6789
Ginny: And fifth: Do you realize that I am just a fourteen year old girl making a prank call? HA! *hangs up phone*
Draco: That was pretty good, Weasley. Can I try the silent treatment again?
Ginny: *shrugs* Sure. *hands him the phone*
Draco: *dials random number |AN: were you expecting anything else?|*
Voice: *rough male* Howdy?
Draco: -_-
Voice: heLLO?!
Draco: ^_^
Voice: YOU DARNED KIDS!!!!! *Click*
Draco: Well, that one went better, didn't it?
Ron: you could say that.
Hermione: Well, I'm bored with this. Let's do something else.
All: ok.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
AN: I know this wasn't very funny. Ok, I've already got an IDEA for the next chapter, but I could use some other ideas, and some presents for me and for the characters! I g2g, talk to you next chappie! And, REVIEW!!! (All flames will be used to put Malfoy's hair on fire – all the hair spray/gel he uses on it must make it very flammable . . .)
SpicySugar