AN: Hey, I'm FINALLY updating!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Please oh please oh PLEASE forgive me for not updating nearly as fast as I should have, but I've had writer's block for the longest time on this story and I haven't been feeling very hyperly-randomly-inspired. {looks down in shame} And plus, my stupid, evil boyfriend took me into the woods two days ago, and I was wearing shorts, and I got approximately 5 mosquito bites, NO EXAGGERATION! And, I went to the orthodontist two days ago, as well, so now my teeth hurt, AND, I had a horseback riding lesson THREE days ago and my legs still hurt from it! So, I've been a bit busy taking Ibuprofen, rubbing Hydrocortisone cream on my legs, and whimpering in pain and misery to be updating.
But anyway, shout-outs and then on with the chappie that probably won't be nearly as funny as it should be.
Idiot.On.The.Edge - What does iote mean? ( I know I'm stupid so don't rub it in)
rubber-duck-lauren - cute?
Jetta Crystal - Snape is a major character in this chapter . . .
Sweetgirl - what is your definition of "soon"?
LoveSanity - Sure, I'll try to check out your story!
Krispykreme1468 - well, I don't think it's the funniest on the entire website, I've read funnier. Like DarkBoy77's fics (HP) and AnimaeGurl's fics (Yu-Gi-Oh)
tmrwspromise - {evil smirk} I certainly enjoyed writing Draco singing and dancing to Hilary Duff . . .
slytherinrules85 - thank Alicia RoseWilde for me, will you?
Legolas-is-to-hot-4-u - I like your prank phone call, but I don't think Dunkin Donuts was to happy about it . . .
Karana Belle - Care Bears?
Sorry if I forgot anybody! If I did, PLEASE FORGIVE ME!!!!
Disclaimer: Harry Potter © J. K. Rowling (see that little "C" in the circle with J. K. Rowling next to it? That means that J. K. Rowling COPYRIGHTS Harry Potter, and NOT me!)
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--Last Time—
Snape: {points wand at door handle} Alohamora! {tries door, still doesn't move – Snape tries the most complicated unlocking spell known to wizard kind – still no luck}
Ginny: NOW what are we going to do? Having Malfoy stuck in here with us was bad enough, but NOW we're stuck in here with the most EVIL, CRUEL, UNFAIR, HEARTLESS person in the entire SCHOOL!
Hermione: quietly to Ginny Uhhhhhh . . .Gin, if I were you, I wouldn't have said that right to Snape's face.
Ginny: {looks pale and scared} Oops.
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[Present time]
Hermione: {trying to be optimistic} well, I suppose we could all play, um Authors?
All e/ Hermione: {glare evilly at her}
Hermione: Well, I mean, come on! We can't just sit here in this room and glare at each other until someone rescues us! Right?
Harry: Wanna bet? I'm not doing anything fun with HIM {points at Snape} in the room.
Hermione: Well, fine then! I'm just going into the library corner and reading! {stomps off the library corner, snatches Hogwarts, a History off the shelf, flops down in a beanbag chair, and starts reading.}
All e/ Hermione: {rolls eyes}
Snape: Well, just because you were right and I was wrong, I'm going to-
Harry: {thinks extremely hard about Snape's detention giving and point removing abilities being taken away while he's in the RoR}
Snape: -slap myself in the head extremely hard so I can wake up in my bed, because this is all a nightmare.
Harry: oh, I thought you were going to take points off-
Snape: And then I'll give all of you get a detention except Mr. Malfoy and take off 200 points from Gryffindor.
Ginny: What about Malfoy? He's in here too! He should have a detention and points taken from Slytherin!
Snape: Miss Weasley, are you really that brainless? You should know after five years of being in this school that Mr. Malfoy is my favorite student and I never take points off of his house or give him a detention if I can help it.
Draco: {smirks arrogantly}
Snape: And plus, I am Slytherin's head of house, and I would certainly not take points off my own house when we are so focused on Slytherin winning the House Cup!
Ron: Oh yeah? Well, maybe if Slytherin had a half-way decent Quidditch team, they could win a few Quidditch games and you wouldn't HAVE to worry about taking points off Slytherin!
Snape: Don't you dare insult the noble and mighty house of Slytherin, Weasley!
Harry: Oh, well, in that case, I'll do the insulting! Slytherin house is comprised of slimy, backstabbing students-
Ginny –one of which is a dirty, arrogant ferret, who spent several minutes bouncing around the Great Hall-
Harry: -who has a stupid-
Ginny: -greasy-
Harry: -ugly-
Ginny: -slimy-
Harry: -unfair-
Ginny: -biased-
Harry: -GIT for a Head of House-
Ginny: -and was formed by another stupid, greasy, slimy, unfair, biased git who locked up a basilisk in the school and was determined to kill all muggleborns!
Snape: well, when you – when you put it that way . . .
Harry, Ginny, and Ron: yes . . .?
Snape: . . . it makes me . . .
Harry, Ginny, and Ron: yes . . . ?
Snape: . . . ALL THE MORE PROUD OF SLYTHERIN HOUSE! WOOOOOOHOOOOOO!!! GO SLYTHERIN! GO SLYTHERIN! IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY! IT'S YOU BIRTHDAY! {Dances around room}
All e/ Snape: O.O
Draco: Professor Snape has finally gone out of his rocker . . .
Harry: It's about time you figured that out!
Snape: {now doing the Electric Slide} SLYTHERIN . . . {slides and claps his hands once} . . . IT'S ELECTRIC!
All e/ Snape: O.o
Harry: Do something!
Ron: What?
Harry: Anything!
Hermione: {From under broken sink that magically appeared} Swish and flick!
Ron: {whips out wand} Wingardium Leviosa!
Snape: {floats into the air, looks mildly surprised, then switches his dance to the Harlem Shuffe}
Harry: Hey, why did we just act out a scene from the first Harry Potter movie with some mildly changed details?
SpicySugar: {voice comes from nowhere} because I thought it was funny!
Ginny: {to the ceiling} Hey, Blondie! Since you're still in control of this story MAKE SNAPE LEAVE!
SpicySugar: Why should I?
Ginny: Because I said so! And you're a cruel and heartless person!
SpicySugar: I know you are but what am I?
Ginny: A cruel and heartless person, that's what!
SpicySugar: I know you are but what am I?
Ginny: {seethes in anger}
SpicySugar: I know you are but what am I? I know you are but what am I? I know you are but what am I?
Hermione: She must have put a recording up! I wonder where she went?
Harry: she hasn't gone anywhere, because we couldn't be saying anything if she wasn't at her computer typing it.
{author goes somewhere and pushes "stop" on the little stereo next to her computer so it will stop repeating "I know you are but what am I?"}
All: {freeze in the middle of whatever they were doing, which was, in Snape's case, the Watermelon Crawl.}
{author returns}
All: {go into motion again}
Snape: {singing} IF YOU DRINK, DON'T DRIVE, DO THE WATERMELON CRRRAAAAWWWLLL . . .
All e/ Snape: O.o
Snape: {still singing} HAVE FUN YOU AAAAALLLLLL . . . DO THE WATERMELON . . . CRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL LLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SpicySugar: {opens door to the RoR and pulls out one of those hook thingies they use to snatch people offstage, loops it around Snape's neck, snatches him out of the door, and closes it again.}
All e/ SpicySugar and Snape: {Rush to the door and press their ears to it: they hear muffled bangs, smacks, punches, and several moans}
SpicySugar: {opens the door a tiny crack to look in at Harry, Ron, Hermione, Ginny, and Draco} Don't worry, Professor Snape is all taken care of. {Smirks and then moves aside so the five students can see Professor Snape's unconscious body lying on the floor} I'll take him somewhere else so that when you guys are found, you won't be blamed. {SpicySugar kicks Snape a little down the corridor before she snaps the door shut.}
Draco: Well, that was interesting . . .
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AN: Well? How was it? I think it turned out better than I thought it would. But the only way I'll know is if you REVIEW!
Disclaimer #2: The Electric Slide and the Watermelon Crawl are line dances, if you didn't know, and I'm not sure what the Harlem Shuffle is, but I got it from one of DarkBoy77's stories, but either way, I do not own The Electric Slide, the Watermelon Crawl, OR the Harlem Shuffle.