A/N: Yes, I am still alive. No, I did not forget about this story. In fact, it's been on my mind along with my college apps, killer AP English homework, an upcoming (and totally unplanned) class banquet, and lots of other stuff I'm sure you'd rather not hear about. Well, thanks for reviewing! You guys are great! But first, to clear a few things up:
JuicyJuice: In the first chapter, Draco told Hermione that Lucius wanted him to get a major head start and hands-on experience in the muggle world before taking muggle studies during the next year…but we all know better, right? It's okay, I understand your confusion – chapter three took…forever!
Everyone else: Thanks for reading and reviewing! It means a lot to me.
So it is without further ado that I present
Chapter 5 – From A.M……
List No. 84: My Goals For This Summer:
1) Immerse myself in British Literature. Read the following literary works:
Emma by Jane Austen
Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte
Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy
Twelfth Night by William Shakespeare
Far From the Madding Crowd by Thomas Hardy
Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad
Gulliver's Travels by Jonathan Swift
Paradise Lost by John Milton
A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens
Great Expectations by Charles Dickens
2) Plant my own flower garden
3) Learn how to drive a car
4) Study for NEWTS
5) Knit at least one item of house-elf clothing per day
List No. 85: REVISED GOALS
Due to the unprecedented preoccupation with a temporary next-door neighbor, goals previously set for this summer are to be revised and condensed in accordance with the present circumstances.
1) I simply could not bring myself to abandon this goal: Immerse myself in British Literature. Read the following literary works:
- Far From the Madding Crowd
- Great Expectations
- Every self-help book currently on the market.
2) For the rest of the summer:
- Help Malfoy. Merlin, I must be going mad.
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18 June
Hermione –
HAHAHAHAHA! All right, I know I shouldn't laugh – but Malfoy in muggle London? What about that isn't funny?
Why don't you just leave him alone and give us an early visit? It's not like anyone would care if Malfoy wandered into the city, got lost, and got pulled into a dark alleyway by gang members…….
- Ron
19 June
Ron –
Responsibility may be a foreign concept to you, but it's second nature for me to help those less fortunate than myself. I feel it is my responsibility to help out those in need, wizard or not, Slytherin or Gryffindor.
- Hermione
19 June
So would you help out a Death Eater in need?
Please don't tell me you actually felt sorry for ferret-boy, Hermione….
By the way, Mum sends her love…and Ginny's asking if Malfoy is really as … eurgh, Ginny, that's disgusting…!
- Ron
19 June
Firstly, Ron, Malfoy isn't a Death Eater. As far as I can tell, he's far from being one….at least for now. He's just a harmless bully, really. Don't mind him.
Please say hello to your family for me!
- Hermione
20 June
Hermione –
HA! I see what you're doing! You're trying to turn Malfoy into a S.P.E.W. project! You're going to plant pro-Muggleborn ideas into his head while you're at it! Not that that's a bad thing, but I don't think it's really going to work. He's MALFOY. He's not going to change, so you shouldn't waste your time being nice to him. Trust me, Hermione. He's a prat.
- Ron
20 June
For your information, Ron, I am NOT trying to plant subliminal ideas into Draco Malfoy's brain. He'll find out soon enough that the world he's prejudiced towards contains a breadth of technology and culture completely unknown to him. I'm just helping him make that discovery more conveniently. He'll never get anywhere by himself! You can't deny that Malfoy's in dire need of exposure – and it's my job to give it to him.
- Hermione
P.S. He's actually making quite a bit of progress around the house. Malfoy's still resistant to doing chores of any sort, but he now knows how to use the vacuum cleaner, the washing machine, the telly, and the electric stove!
20 June
Hermione -
You're using up all of this effort just so Malfoy can have some preparation for Muggle Studies next year? Won't he learn all of this in class anyway? He doesn't really want to learn about Muggles! He just wants a good grade in a class his father's making him take.
Though…Lucius making his son take Muggle Studies sounds a bit dodgy to me. D'you really think that's what Malfoy's here for? S'pose he's really here to spy on Muggles! Maybe it's all a part of Lucius' secret plot! Lucius would never plop the Malfoy heir into the middle of Muggleland just for a class! Shouldn't Draco Malfoy be training to be a Death Eater by now? I could ask Dad – he might've heard some things around the office.
- Ron
20 June
You're going mad, Ron. Why would the Malfoys even want to be around people they look down on? And this isn't Dumbledore I'm talking about – these are Muggles! To the Malfoys, they're lower than the lowest wizards alive. They're lower than squibs or Muggle-lovers and even Muggleborns. Do you think Malfoy's mum would really want her precious son tainted by Muggle ideals and customs?
Even if there were ill intent behind Malfoy's stay here, his family wouldn't bother to expend the energy to research Muggles. It would just be easier to violently eradicate them. Isn't that what the dark wizards have been doing for the past several years anyhow?
I'd rather Malfoy be here than in Death Eater camp, anyhow. We don't need any more of them.
- Hermione
P.S. By the way, please don't get your family too deep into this. The situation's complicated enough without your lot worrying about me!
21 June
Fine then. Do whatever you need to do with Malfoy, but don't blame me for not warning you when he ends up ruining your summer.
- Ron
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Journal Entry No. 10
Learned how to wash clothes the Muggle way, which takes a bloody long time. Granger told me I should be happy the washing machine and dryer were invented so I don't have to wash things by hand.
Then again, if I had my wand, I could perform a cleaning spell on every piece of dirty clothing and it'd be clean in a second.
Stupid Muggles.
Journal Entry No. 11
Watched a lot of TV today – some of the shows, such as Mr. Bean and Trigger Happy TV are just plain idiotic. Who really wants to watch a bumbling half-wit drink detergent or get his arm stuck up a turkey's arse?
The shows about men and women having affairs with each other and getting brain tumors are mildly interesting, however. Granger sure seems to enjoy them, despite all of the crying and face-slapping occurring during each episode.
I have a feeling my father would rather I watch something more instructive, like the National Geographic,, which seems to be centered on animals and nature. Or maybe he'd want me to watch the shows about Muggle technology.
I still don't see the point of my being here. So far, I've learned how to cook simple meals and clean the house. I've acquired all the skills of a house servant – and for what? What could Lucius possibly do with a vacuum cleaner or an electric fan?
Why my father suddenly wants to employ methods of eradication other than magic baffles me.
Journal Entry No. 12
Finished The Shining. Bugger, Muggles have disturbing minds.
Journal Entry No. 15
Granger was going to take me to the "mall" today, but as the workers went on strike, we ended up staying home doing pretty much nothing. She seems to be obsessed with knowledge and learning. Who else would read thick Charms books or centuries-old papers on with-hunting for leisure?
I borrowed her Charms book. Can't let her get ahead.
Journal Entry No. 16
One word: Blackadder
This can't be a good sign….
Journal Entry No. 17
I still don't see what my father could possibly use that isn't already trumped by our own technology.
Finally getting out of here tomorrow.
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"You cannot go out like that," Hermione stated firmly, looking Draco up and down with one eyebrow raised in amusement and the other bent into a little frown.
"And why not?" Draco asked, returning her expression. "This is one of my best sets of clothing."
"That doesn't mean it's appropriate," Hermione replied curtly. "No go up and change. We have lots to do today."
"For your information, Granger," Draco sneered. "This outfit is one of a kind, designed and tailored by Apollyon Riviera himself. See these buttons? Hand-sewn. See these cuffs? Hand-trimmed. See these – "
Hermione crossed her arms and threw him a look of pure irritation. "Are you deaf, or are you just that daft? You can't walk around in wizards' clothes! You need to blend in and look as if you actually belong here."
"I'm sorry to bust your little plan, Granger, but do I look like I have any Muggle clothes on hand to change into?" Draco asked snidely. He knew very well what she'd suggest but couldn't bring himself to give it.
"I'm sure there's something you can borrow from Mr. Carter's wardrobe," Hermione replied, just as he thought she would. "Oh come, his clothes are laundered, so it's not like there are germs on them."
Knowing there was nothing else he could do, Draco followed her down the hallway and into the master bedroom.
Of course, just because he surrendered to the Mudblood's commands didn't mean he had to be peaceful about it.
"No way," Draco refused fervently, as Hermione laid out several tartan shirts and neutral-toned trousers onto the bed. "I'm not going out looking like…a farmer!"
"Don't be silly, everyone dresses like this," Hermione assured him. "Unless you'd rather wear these." She pulled out a pair of white bell-bottoms from the back of the wardrobe. "Or would this be better?" She held out a shirt that said in big, red letters, "Dads do it in Parking Garages."
Draco snatched the tartan shirt and khaki trousers off the bed before throwing her out of the room.
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"I refuse to go out like this."
Hermione took one look at him and immediately put on an expression that resembled a cross between a very angry frown and a very amused grin. "Stop that, Granger," Draco commanded, fidgeting with the plastic button on the cuffs of his oversized sleeve. "You look constipated – and psychotic."
"I still look better than you, though," Hermione teased. "Oh Merlin, where's Colin's camera when you need it…."
"And what do you call that?" Draco asked, pointing disdainfully to her knee-length jean skirt and plain salmon-colored polo top. "Try and show some more class, Granger! I know you're not poor."
"Neither Muggle nor wizarding society revolve around fashion, Malfoy," Hermione retorted, even though she knew he didn't truly care about it. This was just another pathetic means of getting on her nerves to make himself look better.
No matter what, however, he'd never look better than her while dressed in the clothing of a middle-aged fly fisher.
It was only through a twisted series of events that Hermione finally got Draco out the door. "Don't fret about it," she said, marching him toward the neighborhood bus stop. "Most people don't pay much attention to what others are wearing."
"That's only what you think, Granger," Draco replied, looking sideways at her with narrow eyes. "People notice a girl in tight robes and a plunging neckline. People notice teenagers wearing truly bizarre headgear, such as a vulture hat or a lion headdress. Don't tell me you've forgotten Umbridge's pink cardigans – or Weasel's ratty homemade jumpers."
"If watching 'strange people' amuses you that easily, Malfoy, then go ahead, make my day," Hermione growled. "Look into a mirror and tell me what you see!"
"First of all, I didn't call anyone 'strange' – perhaps you think them strange yourself, but I for one, didn't say anything of the sort. Second of all, any mirror that I look into – "
" – would obviously shatter into pieces at your unsightliness," Hermione interjected. "Okay, the bus is almost here so – "
"The bus?" Draco said. "That's what we've been waiting all this time for? Can't it be summoned?"
"This is Muggle London, Malfoy, a bus can't be summoned," Hermione snorted. "Of course, I could've called a taxi, but then that would've cost too much – "
"Here's something you should know now, Granger," said Draco, pulling a forest-green pouch out of his pocket. "When you're with a Malfoy " - he pulled the drawstring – "you never" – in went an empty fist, and out came a bulging one – "have to worry" – he motioned for her to open her fingers – "about money."
Hermione gazed in wonder at the little pile of Galleons stacked on her palm. "You brought all of this? But – but you can't even use this here – I mean, the currency – "
Draco narrowed his eyes at her again. "Cripes, Granger, and people say you have a brain."
"Oh! But of course!" Hermione exclaimed, her eyes glinting. "Okay, Malfoy, hold open that pouch again." She took a quick look around area to make sure it was empty, and after drawing her wand from her pocket, rolled two silky words off her tongue.
Immediately, the coins were transfigured into sizeable wads of bills. As the pouch grew wider, so did Hermione's eyes. "Wow, I didn't realize Galleons were worth so much…."
"I'm only letting you handle my money because it'll all be spent on me," Draco said brusquely, snatching back the pouch and attempting to stuff it into his front pocket. "Damn…shrink this, Granger."
"Sorry," Hermione replied coolly. "But after this point, I can't do any more magic without running of risk of Muggles seeing us. What do you think the store clerks would do if I enlarged our money right on the counter? Oh look, here's the bus!"
"Fine," Draco muttered, as the door hummed and slid open. "But I'll carry the money."
"Whatever you say, ferret-boy."
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A/N: So whaddya think? Did this leave you feeling happy….or crappy? I know it ended kind of abruptly, but I couldn't go into it any further without having the chapter drag on and on. This has actually been sitting around in my computer for awhile. I was going to make it a lot longer, but changed some details and decided I'd give you guys a taste of what's coming. I'm sorry for not updating for so long, so thanks for reading! Feedback (including concrit) will be appreciated )
Chapter 6 (….to P.M.): More culture clash! Draco wants fast food. Hermione wants a fast death.