A/N: Here I be, back with more randomness. Hehehe – I'm a very random person. So far, you all found my new images of Quatermain amusing! Huzzah! Right-o, y'all wanted to hear Tom's song, so here it is!

funyun – You play softball? Huzzah! Me too! What position do you play?

Miss-Smilla – Skinner will get a solo, I promise. I've already got the perfect song for him.

Chasten-chan – Did I disturb you with that one? Hehehe… tottered. That's a fun word.

Sean M. Cogan – Plot? What is this plot thing you speak of? Actually, I can't come up with a plot for this insanity, but if you have ideas that would be great.

Lily Bengal – You should know this one. If you don't, I shall beat you with a booshy stick!

Disclaimer: You'd think by now, I'd own something. Alas, I still don't. I really must work on that problem. Anyway, the song is Mama Says from the musical, Footloose. [And I mean the Broadway version, not the movie.] Also, I had to change "Mama" to "Auntie" for the obvious reason that dear ol' Tom was raised by his Aunt Polly. XP

[For lack of a plot, or anything of the like, we find Tom, Nemo, Jekyll, and Skinner in the Nautilus' dining room. Suddenly, enter Dorian.]

Dorian: Beg pardon, but I need some advice about…

Sawyer: Well, you know what my Aunt Polly says…

Dorian [looks a little miffed about being interrupted]: Your Aunt? I frankly don't care about your Aunt.

Sawyer: Hey! My Aunt Polly happens to be a very smart woman.

[Music begins] Everything I ever learned

That gets me through the worst

I learned at my Auntie's knee

Now, anytime I'm turned around

I turn to Auntie first

And you'd be wise

To memorize

What Auntie says to me

[Proudly] Now, Auntie ain't been wrong yet. And I'm the living proof

Skinner: Take that for what it's worth! [Sawyer glares at him]

Sawyer: Auntie says

Don't use a toaster while standing in the shower

Now who can argue with that?

Auntie says

Don't hold your breath for longer than an hour

The woman knows where it's at!

And Auntie says it doesn't matter

If you're a king or you're a clown

Once you drive up a mountain

You can't back down

Now, you've not yet had the pleasure of meeting my Auntie. C'mon and help me out here, Fellas.

Skinner, Jekyll & Nemo [the Fellas]: Auntie says

Sawyer: Don't drink hot coffee lying down in bed

Don't even give it a thought

Fellas: It's a mess!

Auntie says

Sawyer: Never eat anything that's bigger than your head

Is she a whiz or what?

Fellas: Oh, yes!

Sawyer: And Auntie says it doesn't matter

If you're a king or you're a clown

Once you drive up a mountain

You can't back down

Once you drive up a mountain

You can't back down

Auntie makes a lot of sense

If you know how to listen

She is clear and concise

Others say, "I love her son,

But she's got marbles missin'."

But I say, "Hey! It's free advice,

What do you expect at that price?"

Fellas: Auntie says

Sawyer: What you believe in is all you really own

And I believe that she's right

Fellas: Auntie says

Sawyer: If you've got doubts,

Well then boy you're not alone

Just means you're ready to fight

And Auntie says it doesn't matter

If you're a king or you're a clown

Once you drive up a mountain

You can't back down, down, down, down…

Jekyll: You can turn up the heat

Nemo: You can turn up the road

Sawyer: You can carry a beat

Skinner: You can carry a load

Jekyll: You can throw a fit

Nemo: You can throw a punch

Sawyer: You can bring up a child

Skinner: You can bring up your lunch! [The others give him a disgusted look]

A One, Two, Three

All: And Auntie says it doesn't matter

Sawyer: If you drive a hard bargain or drive around town

All: Once you drive up a mountain

You can't back down

Once you drive up a mountain

You can't back down!

[Sawyer exits and the music ends. Dorian is looking very relieved that this ridiculous number is over, when all of a sudden… Re-enter Sawyer.]

Sawyer: I thought of one more thing...

[Music starts again] Auntie says

Don't buy a chandelier unless you've got a ceiling

I don't know what that's about

Auntie says

Don't chew on tin foil unless you like that feeling

Somehow she figured that out

Fellas: And Auntie says

It doesn't matter

If you're a king or you're a clown

Once you drive up a mountain

Sawyer: Remember, boy

Everyone's countin' on you

All: Once you drive up a mountain

You can't back down!

Sawyer: That's my Auntie!

[Dorian rolls his eyes and leaves. He doesn't want to ask for advice anymore for fear it would spark another musical number.]

A/N: Ta-da! Ah, Footloose brings back special memories for me. It was the first production I've ever been in. ::sigh:: Right… now for the little previews! Next: A song by one Mr. Dorian Gray. Next after next: Our favorite gentleman thief gets his solo!