Author's Note- Sorry it's been taking me a while to update. I'm feeling a bit under the weather, and my computers been acting up. So hopefully I can get back on track.

Chapter 8, Someone I'm not

When I entered the common room, I saw Harry, Hermione, and Ron sitting at a table in the corner working. Or so I assumed. They looked up when I walked in. I knew they were waiting for me, and I knew I wouldn't hear the end of it if I didn't explain it to them.

I have trouble expressing strong emotions, and personal issues. Though I seem to be doing a lot of that lately. For them, the truth about my past may be hard to take in, but it's even harder to expose myself to so many people seeing as I've only been close to a few in my whole life.

I took a deep breath. 'Here goes nothing.' I thought,as I walked over and took a seat next to Hermione.

"Hey." I said nonchalant.

"Hi." Hermione said looking from Harry to Ron nervously.

"Um...so what was that thing between you and Malfoy all about?" Ron asked getting straight to the point.

"It's kind of a long story."

"We've got time." Harry said. Speaking up at last. I've only heard him speak to me a few times. I wasn't sure why he was pushing me away, but I'm sure it was awkward for him.

"Ok. You see-wait. Did Hermione tell you about my dream? You know, with my mother." I asked, not wanting to have to relive that night all over again.

"Um...yeah I did. You don't mind do you?" Hermione asked blushing.

"No that's ok. I didn't want to have to explain it all over again anyways."

Hermione nodded to show that she understood.

"Well, anyways, after my dad was sent to Azkaban I went to go live with Remus. He is my godfather as you should know by now. I'm also aware that you know of his 'condition'." I began.

They nodded in agreement, and I continued.

"Well, since I was too little to understand and it was dangerous for me to be exposed to the truth about him. So one day every month, the night of the full moon, I was sent to the Malfoy Manor. I stayed there until Remus picked me up the next day."

"Wait a minute. Don't the Malfoy's hate the Black's?" Hermione asked.

"Not the Black's in general. My father wasn't popular among them, if that's what you mean. But they didn't want people to start talking about them, and saying that they were meddling in the Dark Arts. Even though it was a widely kown fact that they did. They accepted much to Remus' surprise, to watch me for one night every month. I also believe Dumbledore had a say in this. He can be a very persuasive person."

"Harry, it kinda sounds like you with the Dursley's." Ron said, nudging Harry, who just nodded, a grim expression on his face.

"Well, that explains some of it. But-" Hermione began.

"I'm not finished. Well, the Malfoy's had a son, whom you know. Draco and I became close, well as close as you can get spending one night in each other's company once a month. But this arrangement went on for about five or six years. Then I started school in Durmstrang and we drifted apart. I assume his father or his mother, or both who knows? Told him to stop writing me letters, and to cut off all contact with me all together. I hadn't heard from him since. When I was young and naive, I thought he was just busy. That was until I came here and learned the truth."

"So how did you find out the truth about Remus?" Hermione asked.

"Well, the same as you I suppose. I just pieced everything together and came to the conclusion that he was a lycanthrope."

"A lycanthrope?" Ron asked.

"A werewolf, Ron! Honestly." Hermione replied.

I coughed amusedly and Harry sniggered. We exchanged amused glances. I held his gaze for a split second before he turned back to Ron and Hermione.

"Well, I didn't say anything to him when I found out about his lycanthropy. I wanted him to tell me himself. And sure enough, when he was ready that's exactly what he did. I could tell he was nervous. He fidgets with his hands when he is nervous. He had thought that I was going to "disown" him in a sense. When I told him that I already knew, he was shocked, but relieved also."

I sat on a sofa by the fireplace, reading a book. Remus entered the room and took a seat across from me. I could tell something was bothering him. He was pale and he kept fidgeting with his hands. He was nervous.

I knew it wasn't because of the full moon. That had been two weeks ago. That's when I had found out. He wasn't aware that I knew about his transformations, but I knew. This was something else though.

His mouth was formed in a straight line, and he looked as though someone had died. He was starting to get me nervous.

I closed my book and looked at him. The shadows from the fire danced across his face, and made looming shapes along the wall. The whole room was bathed in the orange glow from the fireplace, and the only other light was coming from the window where the crescent moon was peaking from behind a cloud. A ray of silver moonlight illuminated the spot where I sat. Giving my black hair a whitish-silver shine to it.

"What's wrong?" I asked, watching him carefully.

"I have something I need to tell you." he said slowly, "You may hate me after I tell you this, and you will probably want to live somewhere else. But I understand if that's how you feel." he began, almost sadly.

I urged him to continue, even though I think I knew what was coming.

He sighed, sadly, his face full of despair and lost hope. "I'm not who you think I am. I'm a werewolf, Lasarus. A monster."

I stared at him in shock. 'How could he say it like that?'

"I understand if you want to go somewhere else. It's ok. Everyone else does the same."

My eyes filled with tears.

"Remus, I'm not like everyone else! I still love you and I always will."

"What? You aren't mad? Afraid? Disgusted?" He asked, shock etched into his dark features.

"Of course not! I've known for two weeks now. I didn't want to say anything, because I wanted you to tell me. And you are NOT a monster. Don't think that for one second!" I exclaimed as a tear rolled down my cheek.

He looked thankful almost, then he broke into a smile. "Thank you." he said.

"Thank me for what?" I asked slightly confused

"For accepting me." he answered simply.

I stood up, and hugged him.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you before. It's just I thought-."

"It's ok. I understand." I said, wiping my eyes with back of my hand.

I looked up, and saw Harry, Ron, and Hermione looking at me.

"Oh sorry. Where was I? Oh, yeah. Well, that's pretty much it. And when he got a job at Hogwarts, Professor Snape brewed Wolfsbane potion for him. It made his transformations less painful, and he became harmless. He got to keep his head during the transformations, he couldn't harm anyone, or himself."

"Yeah, we remember the potion." Ron said.

"Well, I've got a lot of work to do so if you don't mind I'll be going now." I said rising form my seat and taking off for a walk around the castle before curfew.

"You are a blessing." he said, putting a hand on my shoulder. I smiled respectively.

"You are just like your father. Always remember that. And always keep in mind that you have both of us at your side. Though Sirius isn't physically here with you, he will always remain in your heart. For that's where your true friends lie. In your heart." he said, wiping a stray tear from my face with his thumb.

I turned a corner and continued walking. Careful not to meet any teachers along the way. Even though it wasn't past curfew, I still didn't want to have to explain what I was doing wandering around the castle by myself.

I was always trying to be someone I'm not. Always smiling, and laughing, and saying everything was fine. Always pretending to be normal. I was always trying to be strong for everyone. For Remus, for Dumbledore, for my friends, my teachers, for my dad.

But the truth was that I was falling apart form the inside out. And I'm not sure how much longer I can keep this play going, keep this happy mask on my face. Though I long to be normal, I was destined to be different. This show cannot go on.

So? Was it worth the wait? Please review and let me know what you thought. I still need more reviews than last time. The amount of reviews I've been getting is pathetic! Come on! You guys can do better than this!

Thank yous:

Khori: I hope this cleared up any confusion. And Lasarus doesn't expect special treatment. It's just, you know how a lot of the Black's think they are better than everyone else? Well, Snape meant that she wasn't going to get treated better than anyone else because she is a Black. Even though Snape does treat her differently, but not in a good way. Well, thank you soooo much for the review!

Liz: Thank you soo much! I'm glad you like it!

Sweet 16 Movie Buff: I'm so happy you like it. It really means a lot to me. Yeah she is proud of her heritage, but Remus needs credit too. Yeah, I don't know what happened to your first review for Immortal Bliss. It just disappeared. Well, thanks for reading and reviewing! It's greatly appreciated!

Thanks again! You guys rock! :p