Feel
By: Lady DeathAngel
Disclaimer: Not mine, not profiting, 'nuff said.
Warnings: language, standard angst.
A/N: This is really short, self beta-read and the first part of two, the second of which will hopefully be up soon. School's occupying a lot of time so I'm just not sure how long it'll take me to get chapters out. Whenever they write themselves they'll turn up, I suppose. Anyway, please read, enjoy and review! Thanks!
He was lounging in the drawing room as usual. Hermione and Ron were off doing whatever Hermione and Ron did when they weren't trying to cheer him up. He hadn't seen Tonks in days and the twins wouldn't be around until dinner time. Members of the Order flitted in and out of the house, a few taking the time to stop in and check on him conspicuously, some with hearty hellos and others, or Moody in any case, with sidelong glances and furrowed brows. Crookshanks was napping in a corner and Nyx had, as was her strange custom, disappeared.
It was quiet at least, other than that. Little noise permeated the air of the room and he might have fallen asleep if it hadn't been for the inability of his mind to shut down.
It had been a few hours since the Daily Prophet had unveiled its speculations and conspiracy theories and since then he hadn't been able to stop thinking about it. It wasn't that he was worried about his reputation. It had been ruined over and over for the past five years and he was past caring. Instead he was thinking about Malfoy. Not feeling sorry for him, exactly, but still a bit . . . off about the whole thing.
From what Fred and George had said, his schoolmate was getting it from all sides. He didn't know the details but he was being questioned and the threat of an arrest hung over his head. Most everyone in the house was giddy about it. Ron and Hermione were torn between pity and a sense of 'he's earned it, hasn't he?'. Snape, who had swept through the hall way minutes ago yelling at the top of his lungs for Remus was notably on the opposite end of the spectrum.
He didn't know what he felt.
Responsible, perhaps. That little voice in his head was happy about it.
He does deserve it, you know? After all he's done to you, the lies he's spread and the tricks and the threats . . . it was bound to catch up to him.
Yeah, but I wasn't exactly passive in it, was I? I gave as good as I got. Better, even. At least he's always been harmless. I've always caused more damage.
Something to be proud of, getting him before he can get you. It's a key to survival. It works.
He still felt rotten about it, even though it was true that Malfoy wasn't exactly an innocent bystander. He went the rounds with his subconscious, never gaining any ground because, honestly, what had he done to Malfoy? He was selfish, conceited and horrible and he did deserve it. But he'd end up back at square one. Feeling sorry and wondering why.
An hour later he wasn't exactly shocked when Snape burst into the room and interrupted his internal debate.
"Come with me, Potter. Now!"
He blinked from his prone position on the sofa and then sat up.
"Is this about Malfoy?" he asked, already knowing the answer.
Snape nodded jerkily.
"We have to discuss this so get up."
He stood and looked at his professor curiously.
"Who's 'we'?"
"Does it matter? Follow me."
He knew he wasn't going to get anymore information, so he did. Snape was moving at a fairly quick pace and he had to jog slightly to keep up as they made their way down the hall and halted at the very end in front of a study that he vaguely remembered cleaning out the previous summer. Snape didn't bother knocking. Instead he pushed the door open and motioned for him to enter with a jerk of his head.
He stepped over the threshold and took two tentative steps into the room with a slack-jawed look at the man in front of him.
"Hello, Harry," Remus said in a soft voice.
Oh shit, his internal voice said, a sense of 'I should have seen this coming' twisting his stomach.