Alternate Existence

She was just sixteen. She never wanted this. She never wanted any of it. She didn't want to be an agent. She didn't want to even learn to fight. And most of all, she didn't want to learn her mother was a foreign spy.

Chapter 1: Lost You

A/N: Irina never faked her death, she and Jack divorced. Because I need Sydney to have a clearer memory of her father in this fic than she does of her mother in the show, Sydney was eight when she and Irina left LA.

Eight years old

Dear Diary,

Mommy says we have to move away. She said my daddy died so we have to go away. I'm scared. She says we're going all the way to new york. That's a long way from home. We're on the plane now.

I know mommy must feel real sad. Mommy and daddy yelled a lot before he died. I know I heard daddy say divorce a lot. One time mommy told him to keep his voice down and he could divorce her all he wants because she'd still get what he wanted most. She meant me. I feel bad for daddy.

Mommy told me I should be excited. I'm going to a city most people dream of seeing. I get to live there. She doesn't act very sad, but that's just cause she's indenial. I heared that word in a movie once. It means when you say one thing, but your really pretending your somewhere else. I think that's it.

Mommy made me leave all my stuff, cept for my favorite stuffed rabbit I had for ever and the special alice in wonder land she gived me for Christmas cause she said all of that stuff was from our old life and we had new stuff to have a new life. Somethin like that. She said alot of stuff. That's okay. I know its just the indenial. I got all the really important stuff anyway.

Ten years old

Jeffrey Lexington moved in the empty apartment on the second floor last week. He'd in my class at school, and he's really upset because his dad made him move here right after his mom died. He was really nice for a boy and we sat together at lunch because Jessica stayed home sick, so I wouldn't have had anybody to sit with.

I found out we lived in the same apartments because he said he saw me waiting for the bus, but he was late and ha hadn't ever lived in a big city before so his dad took him to school. I said he could tell his dad I went to the same school so if he wanted he could ride the bus and I'd make sure he got to school without getting lost or kidnapped or nothing.

Mom made me take the laundry down to the basement (that's where the washing machines are) to wash it later, and Jeffrey was down there. He didn't have any clothes or anything with him so I asked what was he doing down there and he turned around like he hadn't heard me before and he looked like he was about to cry. I hate it when people cry. So he told me when I asked him what was wrong his mom died, and his dad made them move, but then someone yelled down the stairs and said is anybody down there and Jeffrey yelled back that he was coming. He still looked upset so I told him real quick that my daddy had died two years ago right before we moved here, and we could talk later if he wanted, and that he knew my apartment number so he could call or whatever. He said okay and then he ran up the stairs. I guess it was his dad that yelled, but Jeffrey got mad, and the man just sounded like he was worried.

Well, Jeffrey called me late at night, after it was dark and I was supposed to be asleep. I picked up the phone before Mom heard it, and he asked if I could talk, cause he couldn't sleep, so we met down in the basement. We talked for a couple of hours till neither one of us could hardly keep our eyes open, and I got back in bed right before Mom came and checked on me. I pretended to be asleep. She said she knew I'd been out of bed, she just hadn't caught me, but she'd catch me alter if I did it again. I told Jeffrey today, and he thought it was funny. We made it up as our secret password, so if one of us called the other and our parent picked up the phone we could just tell them to say catch you later and the other would know what we wanted. Mom still hasn't caught me.

Sixteen years old

Sometimes I am just so glad Jeffrey is around. Jessie's great and all, but she's a little extreme. Like that whole guy thing. Mark was horrible, but all guys aren't. she's just got to get over it. She's either extremely happy, or extremely mad, or some other extreme. I love her and all, she's my best friend, but sometimes I just need Jeffrey's reserved nature to balance her out. She's just a little much sometimes is all I'm saying.

But I couldn't live without Jessie. Jeffrey absolutely refuses to go to the mall with me and Jessie on the weekend because he says he can't take more than an hour there with us at a time. Jessie and I go and get lost in the mall. It's just relaxing.

Even I get tired of the mall, though. It's like my friends are the two extremes, and I'm caught somewhere in the middle.

The rumors have started up again. The ones about me and Jeffrey? They start every year. I hardly notice any more, but it still bugs Jeffrey. I figure people are going to say what they're going to say. I give up. I'm just not telling Jeffrey. He hates the stupid rumors, mainly because he knows that things that people pick up on to substantiate their rumors are meaningless, unconscious little gestures that we never even think about.

Sydney dodged through the hall, trying to keep pace with Jessica Presley's quick movements. Jessie's generally slight form allowed her to move much through the crowded halls much easier than her friends could. Sydney could just see her blonde head bob into view once in a while, and she had no idea if Jeffrey Lexington was still behind her or not.

Lunch should be the easyperiod, yet they had to dodge through two floors and nearly two thousand people just to get to the cafeteria.

"What's the point?" Jeffrey muttered behind her suddenly. He slowed and put a restraining hand on her shoulder. "All the tables will be taken by the time we get there anyway, and Jessie's long gone."

"I thought she promised to wait up," Sydney commented, shaking her head and falling comfortably into step with her friend.

Being as tall and gangly as she was, Sydney was almost as tall as Jeffrey. She grinned when she noticed he'd cut his light brown hair again. She'd asked him once why he couldn't let it grow out a little so it'd be manageable, but he'd protested that the spiky mess was his trademark. Well, not in so many words. Skinny little dork, she thought affectionately.

"Look," Jeffrey said when the finally reached the first floor. "There's Jess."

Yep, there she was all right. Standing outside the cafeteria while good-looking-and-I-know-it football star Bobby Ryan harassed her.

"Can't the guy take a hint?" Jeffrey muttered. "Jess has already turned him down, what, four dates?"

"Five," Sydney responded. "I know it would be un-Jessie-like to tell him to screw off, but that's what it's gonna take to get rid of this guy."

Jessie laughed, her blue eyes sparkling and her short blonde hair slipping out from behind her ears to frame her face. Sydney wondered again that someone so drop dead gorgeous could refuse to date; she'd kill for Jessie's eyes. And it wasn't just Bobby, it was all guys. The boys practically fell drooling at Jessie's feet. Sure, she'd made a mistake that one time with that guy Mark, but she'd only been thirteen, he'd been two years older, and it had always sounded that Mark had taken advantage of Jessie. All the same, Jessie had sworn off all men. Except Jeffrey of course. He was just…well, he was just Jeffrey.

"Hey, Jessie," Sydney called out. "We lost you, girl!"

Bobby stepped back, allowing Jessie to escape. She threw Sydney a grateful look.

"I'll see you around, Bobby," she called over her shoulder as she high-tailed it to where Sydney and Jeffrey waited.

"What about Friday?" Bobby called.

"I told you I can't go anywhere after the game, especially not to a party!" Jessie yelled, exasperated.

They ducked into the cafeteria before Bobby could respond. Jeffrey started laughing, and Jessie threw him a dangerous look.

"And just what is so funny?" she demanded, poking him in the chest with her finger. She had to tilt her chin up to look him in the eye.

"That's what you get for taking off so quick after lit," he laughed. "If you could waste a little more time, you wouldn't be standing up here all alone and giving jerks like Bobby an open invitation to talk to you."

"Hey, I was waiting for you," she snapped.

"Come on, guys," Sydney broke in. "Jessie, you know he's just kidding. You're just going to have to be as mean to Bobby as you are to Jeffrey."

"I'm not mean to Jeffrey," Jessie argued.

Jeffrey opened his mouth, then shut it.

Jessie gave him another look.

"Hey," he said quickly, holding up his hands stop-sign fashion. "I don't want to say anything to get me smacked."

"I have never smacked you!" Jessie protested.

"And I want to keep it that way," he added.

They chatted with other people in the lunch line, then went outside to eat. As predicted, all the tables were taken, as was the stone edge along the planter in the center of the school yard. The small patch of grass was the only green you could see within the encasement of skyscrapers, so most of the time they didn't mind sitting there anyway.

Taking up their usual spot against the wall of the brick school building, the three balanced their trays on their laps.

"This is supposed to be chicken, right?" Jessie asked.

"I think so," Jeffrey muttered. "You know what? I got my license two weeks ago, and my dad still won't let me drive."

"Seriously? I always thought he'd be cool about it," Sydney said. "I'll be able to get my license in a couple of months, but my mom says she's not going to let me get them for at least a year."

"Your mom's usually pretty cool, too," Jessie said. "I mean, she lets you stay alone and she doesn't really care if we're all over there or not when she's gone."

Sydney shrugged, stuffing a piece of bread into her mouth as she did.

"Mom's been weird lately. Like, this morning, she said I have to come straight home from school, because he has to talk to me." Sydney rolled her eyes. "She had this look, almost like she did when I was ten and she thought she had to tell me about sex and stuff, you know?"

Jeffrey looked concerned, but he tried to hide it.

"You're not worried? I mean, you don't have any idea what its about?" he asked.

Sydney shrugged again.

"Probably just something stupid. I just have to pretend to care for about an hour, then I'm free. The rest of the evening will be mine," she said nonchalantly.

"Well…call me when you can, okay?"

"Jeffrey, chill," Jessie ordered. "You're going to freak her out."

"And you're not?"

"No, I'm telling you not to."

"Guys, I'm telling you, it won't really be anything major. Mom just freaks out about stuff."

Sydney walked into the third floor apartment she and her mother lived in fully prepared to dump her books on the floor when she saw the man sitting on the couch and checked her actions. She stacked them neatly on the table instead. Her mother yelled at her constantly for leaving her stuff in the entryway floor anyway.

"Mr. Casinou," Sydney said, forcing a smile for the man her mother worked for. She did accounting work, mostly for Mr. Casinou, and he flew her to kingdom come and back to do work for him. Why he couldn't just have any documents he needed faxed to her mother she'd never know.

"Sydney." Casinou had a cocky kind of smile that always scared Sydney just a little, though she'd never admit it. "Your mother told you she had to speak with you today, no?" And his Russian accent almost made him seem otherworldly.

"Yes, sir." How did he know, and what did he care? The man was just creepy.

Her mother came out of her bedroom then, and she and Casinou exchanged looks.

"Well, I'll be going, and let you tell her," Casinou said to Laura Bristow. "I'll be waiting," he added.

Sydney thought it strange that he didn't say where or why; apparently her mother knew already, because she didn't ask. Sydney looked expectantly at her, but her mother didn't explain.

"Sit down, Sydney," Laura said in a tone Sydney had never heard her mother use before. She complied immediately.

"Mom, what's wrong?" she asked quickly, suddenly afraid Jeffrey had been right.

"Sydney, honey, I don't know how else to say this but…I'm not who you think I am."

Dun-dun-duuuun…And here we have it! Poor Syd is about to get caught up in something she can't possibly understand, and all Irina can say is "I'm not who you think I am." Review, please! I'm not posting the next chapter until I get at least five reviews!