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Disclaimer: I do not own Trigun, nor do I own Tootsie Pops…
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Welcome to "How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?"
Do you remember those old commercials where some random little kid asks that question and tries to find the answer? Well, today, the Trigun characters try to answer that question!
A/N: This is kind of a "spin-off" type thing from my other story "How do you eat your Reese's?" You don't have to of read that to understand this, but you may want to check it out :)
(Please note: that some of the Tootsie Pop flavors mentioned in this or latter chapters may or may not exist.)
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Let's begin with…
[ Person Number 1: Legato Bluesummers ]
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On this particular day, a really strange looking dude with blue hair was sitting in the middle of a town square, on a bench, looking deep in thought. It was a busy town, and people were bustling all around.
Legato: Hmmmmmm…
-He eyes the people of the town evilly-
-Looking down at the ground next to the bench, he notices a withered flower/weed with many petals-
Legato: -stares at the flower- Hmmmmm…
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Legato: [plucks petal] Destroy them all…
Legato: [plucks another petal] Don't destroy them all…
Legato: [plucks petal] Destroy them all…
Legato: [plucks another petal] Don't destroy them all…
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Meanwhile…
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A little boy is walking around in what happened to be the same town as the weird person who was sitting on a bench yanking petals off a flower. This random little boy was named Timmy for no particular reason and was very excited on this being his very first day on the job working for the Tootsie Roll plant located down the street.
Timmy was walking down the street, holding a bag of Tootsie Pops searching for someone to give samples to.
Suddenly he spots a guy, who to him, looks bored, so he rushes up to him…
Timmy: [speaking faster than comprehension] "Hey, mister! My names Timmy! Do you wanna try some Tootsie Pops! Hey, a flower! You have blue hair! Hey! Can ya tell me how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?…"
Legato: [oblivious, plucks the last petal] Don't destroy them all…
Don't destroy them all!!! Uh! -eyes the annoying child- How unfortunate…
Timmy: "Hey, mister, are you listening?"
Legato: -evil glare-
Timmy: "Uh…Hey! You look…kinda…upset…"
"How about a Tootsie Pop to make you feel better!" –happily smiles while holding out the bag of Tootsie Pops-
Legato: -stares angrily at the bag until he notices that these "Tootsie Pops" the child is speaking of is actually a type of candy-
Legato: -smiles a happy evil smile- "…sweets…candy…sweets…"
Timmy: "Um. Yeah." I guess I'll take that as a 'yes'.
"Which flavor do you want?"
Legato, who is still smiling, seems far off, daydreaming about yummy hotdogs…cheesecake…sweets…ice cream…and of course…chocolate candy.
Timmy: "Uh, mister?"
…no response
Hmmm, Timmy thought as he looked into the bag trying to decide which flavor to give this strange man.
I know, I'll give him Blueberry, since his hair is Blue!
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Timmy digs around in the Tootsie Pops bag until he successfully locates a blueberry flavored Tootsie Pop. He then holds the candy out to Legato.
Timmy: "Here, mister."
Legato takes the candy and starts to unwrap it.
Timmy: "Don't forget to tell me how many licks it takes to get to the center!"
Timmy stares as Legato holds the candy with his left arm as he starts to eat the Tootsie Pop.
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Legato: [licks Tootsie Pop] one
Legato: [licks Tootsie Pop] two
Legato: [licks Tootsie Pop] three
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Legato: [licks his fingers by accident] …
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Legato: [licks his fingers some more] …
Timmy: "Um…mister?"
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Legato: [starts licking his hand] mmm…
-the Tootsie Pop falls from his hand and lands in the sand-
Timmy: -really confused- "Uh…mister?!"
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Legato: [starts licking his arm] yummy
Timmy thinks that at this point it would be a good idea to back away from crazy-man.
Timmy: [runs off]
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Legato: [still licking his left arm]
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5 hours later
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Legato: [still licking his arm, very much oblivious to the many passersby who are giving him strange stares.]
Mmmm…tastes like blueberries…
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end
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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?
Gunsmoke may never know.
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Next time: lemon and lime (flavored candy, that is)
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