Disclaimer: I don't know "ATGB" or its characters. We all know it, and we especially know I won't profit monetarily from this story. It's just fun, 'K?
A/N: Gigantic thank yous to my beta-reader extraordinaire. You are the best!
Chapter 4
"I promise, Judy, I really am fine. I must not have had enough for breakfast; perhaps my blood sugar is low." Alistair assured his wife as they drove home. Judy was behind the wheel.
"Just the same, I want you to rest when we get back." She was already playing the role of mother!
"Don't you think we ought to tell Jean and Li first about...about the babies?" Alistair was thrilled to the tips of his shined shoes about the prospect of becoming a father – twice over, no less! – but he also needed a man-to-man chat with his "main man," Lionel.
"Of course, Luv! I promised Mum she'd be the first to know." Judy giggled. "I wonder how Mum will feel about twins!" The left-hand turn that she made let Alistair know that they were headed to Holland Park.'
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Lionel and Jean had quite a lie-in that morning. Finally, near noon, Lionel got up and showered. Jean was still asleep as he dressed, so he decided to make...well, not breakfast, but not quite lunch either. Brunch.
It was the scent of coffee that pulled Jean from her dreamworld. She pulled her dressing gown around her and padded down the stairs. "We've lost half the day," Jean commented upon seeing the kitchen clock.
"Good morning to you too," teased Lionel. "Coffee or tea?"
"Coffee, please, Luv." Coffee would wake her up more quickly. She kissed Lionel hello.
Lionel didn't cook often, but he did have a talent for it; even something as simple as eggs and sausages tasted much better to Jean if Lionel made them.
They ate in silence for a few minutes. Finally, Lionel folded his newspaper and tossed it to the far corner of the table. "Jean, is everything all right? I mean, are you all right? Last night..."
"I'm all right," she said. "Yesterday was very emotional, and everything always seems to come to a point during the wee hours of the night." She offered a smile. "Thank you, though, both for asking and for caring."
Lionel wasn't sure whether to believe that she was fine or just trying to make him think so, but he decided not to press the issue right away. He just stated simply, "Of course I care, and I'm always here for you." That earned him a kiss on the forehead as Jean rose to get more coffee.
Jean showered while Lionel did the dishes. They were in the sitting room, discussing whether they should take in a picture that afternoon when the doorbell chimed. Jean's heart leapt into her throat; why, she couldn't explain. Lionel answered the door.
"Alistair! Judy!" Lionel was surprised, though somewhere in the back of his mind, he knew he should never be surprised when it came to Alistair Deacon.
"Hi Li. We just couldn't get enough of your company last night, so here we are again!"
Jean was on her feet in a second and in the hallway to greet her daughter and son-in-law.
"Hi Mum," Judy said. She had a sneaky smile on her lips.
"Hello, Luv. Hello, Alistair." Jean ushered everyone into the sitting room.
"I know we said we'd bring gifts with us the next time we came," Judy began as she sat down on the sofa, Alistair right beside her, "but we weren't planning on coming to Holland Park when we left home this morning."
"So what brings you here now?" Lionel inquired.
Judy grinned, dimples showing. Alistair took her hand, intertwined his fingers with hers, and she continued, "Remember last night when I said that when Alistair and I discover we're pregnant, you'll be the first to know?"
"Yes!" Jean exclaimed, grabbing Judy's free hand. "Judith, are you..."
"We're pregnant."
Jean squealed her excitement, pulling her daughter into an embrace. "Oh, Judy!"
"With twins," Judy added, hardly able to breathe within her mother's hug.
Jean released Judy, held her at arm's length. "You're kidding." Judy shook her head. "You're serious?! When did you learn all of this?"
"No joke, Lovely Lady," said Alistair with a wide grin of his own, though his knees felt a bit weak. "And we found out not an hour ago. We're just coming from Judy's doctor." He kissed his wife's hand.
"Congratulations to you both," Lionel said earnestly.
"Oh, yes. Congratulations!" Jean had both children in her arms, Judy squeezed between her mother and husband. Jean's heart beat almost audibly in her chest. She couldn't have been happier for her daughter, yet the worry she felt last night washed over her again.
Lionel watched Alistair closely. He remembered the panic attacks that Alistair had had while preparing for his wedding. It wasn't that Alistair didn't adore Judy, or that he didn't want to marry her – he wanted nothing more than to spend his life with Judith – but the thought of commitment and such a radical change made him more nervous than he cared to admit to anyone, even to his betrothed. Now, Lionel wondered how Alistair was dealing with the fact that he would soon be a father – to two babies! Usually, Lionel preferred to keep his nose out of the children's affairs, but he did care. Alistair's smile was true, but so was the fact that he was trying to suck in deeper breaths. The nerves were taking over. Lionel felt bad for Alistair, but was especially concerned about how Judy would react if Alistair had an anxiety attack right here and now. She didn't need anything – or anyone – else to worry about right now, he reasoned. After a round of embraces, Lionel suggested he and Alistair have a celebratory swift half at the pub. Alistair looked relieved.
Before walking out the door, Alistair kissed Judy deeply. Suddenly, he didn't want to leave her side. She read his mind and laughed. "I'll be fine, Luv," she whispered only loudly enough for him to hear. She offered him a reassuring smile. Oh, yes, Alistair needed a drink. She would have to talk to him later about his anxiety medication.
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Lionel bought the first round. He carried two swift halves to a table near a window, where Alistair was already seated.
"Thanks, Li." Alistair took a long swig. "Ah, the drink of the gods," he commented as he scrutinized his mug. Condensation slipped down the sides; the beer was golden and icy-cold. Perfect. "Lionel, I vow to you right here and now that, after this, I will not have another drink until the babies are born," Alistair announced solemnly.
Lionel laughed. "You may want to amend that promise, Alistair. I'm sure the time will come throughout the next nine months where you'll need a drink."
"Seven-and-a-half," Alistair corrected.
"Come again?"
"Seven-and-a-half months. We're six weeks along."
"Ah. Seven-and-a-half-months, then. And I still say that you'll need a drink." Lionel drank from his own glass.
Alistair sighed. He knew Lionel was right. "Well, perhaps just not in Judith's presence, then." He stopped a drip of condensation with his finger.
"I think that's better."
Alistair drained his glass.
"Alistair –"
"Could I cry on your shoulder, Li?"
"Well, I sincerely hope it doesn't really come to that, but if you mean to ask whether you can talk to me, then, yes, of course."
Alistair began to shred his napkin. "It's not that I'm not simply thrilled about the baby. Babies. It's just that..." Alistair couldn't speak. He didn't know how to explain what he felt.
"You're nervous, Alistair. That's entirely normal. At least, that's what I've been told. I can't speak from experience, you know." Lionel had only a few swallows left within his own beer mug. He never thought he'd be discussing children with anyone, much less his step-son-in-law.
'That's the understatement of the year...no, the decade...no, the century," Alistair exaggerated. "I'm petrified."
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"Mum, he's petrified," Judy said as she sat heavily down on the sofa following her husband and step-father's departure.
"Oh, Judy," Jean chuckled, sitting down close to her daughter, "That's entirely normal. He doesn't know what to expect. Give him a bit of time. He'll be all right."
"No, Mum, I mean he's petrified. He...he fainted at the doctor's office. I'm sure he's been taking his medicine..." Judy curled her feet up underneath her. In spite of her joy and excitement, she was terrified herself.
Jean chuckled again, then drew Judy in close. "Alistair certainly does know how to make a big deal out of everything. Trust me, Luv. He will be fine." She paused. "Your father cried."
"Really?"
Jean was, of course, referring to her first pregnancy. It pained her physically to remember the miscarriages, the heartbreaks. Judy didn't need to know any of that now, though. Jean continued, pretending that her heart wasn't aching, "He collected me into his arms and he wept." Jean had blocked out as much of these memories as she could. Unfortunately, that meant blocking the wonderful parts, like the look on David's face when she told him they were going to be "Mummy and Daddy." It was the truest expression of euphoria as Jean had ever seen.
"He was happy?" Judy inquired. She tucked her head under her mother's chin, the way she had as a child.
"He was elated."
Judy smiled, remembering the expression on Alistair's face when Dr. Nielsen told them they were pregnant. He looked like someone had just handed him the world in a neat and tidy package. The light in his eyes spoke of the joy in his soul.
"But he was also scared," Jean added. "It's true that a baby changes everything, Luv. Suddenly, we would have a new life to take care of. Someone totally and completely dependent upon us, her parents."
"Were you scared?"
"Petrified."
"I am too."
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"Alistair. Calm down," Lionel ordered. He cracked the window beside him.
Alistair took his glasses off and polished them with the handkerchief he kept in his breast pocket. His heart pounded against his ribs. A waiter came by and, seeing that the table's occupants had two empty glasses, offered to get them something more. Lionel asked for "something with an edge." The waiter looked a bit confused but went off to the bar.
"Have you been taking your medication?" Lionel inquired in a whisper as Alistair put his glasses back on.
"Li, really, I'm astonished. What kind of fool do you think I am?" Alistair plastered a look of mock reproach on his face.
Lionel avoided taking the easy shot and instead reasoned, "Well, you're having panic attacks." He sat back and waved a hand in a reprimand of his own, "and the most logical explanation for that would be that you'd missed your medication while you were in Hawaii."
"Even if I wanted to forget it, I couldn't possibly. Judy won't let me sleep until I've taken it." Alistair almost laughed, imagining himself and Judy, thirty years down the line, her still hounding him about his medication. He sighed. "I suppose I'll have to ring my 'head consultant' and make an appointment."
Lionel replied, "I think that's the most sense you've made all day."
The waiter brought another round of drinks. These definitely had an edge. Alistair whistled lowly as he tasted his. "Wow. Woof."
Lionel rolled his eyes. At least Alistair was a bit more calm.
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"I'm worried about Alistair too." Judy added.
"Why Alistair?" Jean asked, feeling sympathy for her daughter.
"He had a panic attack this morning, when he fainted at the doctor's. What if his medication isn't working any more?"
"Then he'll have to see his psychiatrist. He's changed medications before, and his doctor is the best in the field. You and I both know that Alistair will work this out." Jean kissed the top of Judy's head.
"I know." She sighed. "I guess it just helps to hear someone else say it."
"That's what mothers are for."
"Oh, Mum. Two babies!" Judy changed the subject abruptly, feeling just a little bit more reassured about Alistair.
Jean hugged Judy tighter. She prayed that Judy wouldn't experience the same problems she'd had so many years ago.
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Alistair closed his mobile phone. He'd just spoken to his psychiatrist and had made an appointment for the next day. A huge weight lifted from his chest. He'd taken action to deal with his panic attacks. It made a world of difference.
"Thanks, Li."
"I didn't do anything." Lionel shrugged and shook his head.
"You let me wag your ear. It means a lot."
"You're welcome. And where do you come up with these expressions?"
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Jean and Judy sat over mugs of tea at the kitchen table. Judy's eyes were still red from crying. So much to take in for just one day; she'd needed to release her emotions.
"Do you suppose the next seven-and-a-half months will be full of mood swings?" she asked her mother.
"I know it." Jean winked.
"Great," Judy grumbled. She took a sip of tea. "Was Dad simply wonderful to you when you were pregnant?"
'Which time?', Jean thought sadly. She answered with what she remembered about her pregnancy with Judy. "He was my shadow during the first several months." Jean laughed. "It was almost annoying. Once he realized I wouldn't break, he let me breathe a little, but he became my shadow again during the last month. Yes, he was wonderful. He cooked and did laundry and massaged my feet and painted your nursery. He pretended I wasn't as big as a house." That made Judy laugh. Jean's eyes took on a faraway look. "He brought me flowers. He never complained when I kept him up because I couldn't sleep. He held me when I cried for no good reason at all. He was wonderful."
Judy cupped her head with her hand. Tears pricked her eyes again. "I miss him."
Jean looked at her daughter – the perfect result of her union with David. She couldn't believe that Judy was grown up, married, and about to have children of her own. There was so much she hadn't told Judy about David. It was so hard then, when he'd died, and then she immersed herself with taking care of Judy and with Type For You in order to block out all of the pain. Judy had asked from time to time but mostly tried to live in the present. That was her coping technique.
"Did I ever tell you about where I met your father?" Jean suddenly asked.
"A pub, you said. You'd started with friends and ended up spending the evening with a dashing young man called David," Judy recalled.
"McMurphy's. That was the pub's name. I wonder if it's still there."
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Lionel and Alistair returned home from the pub with slightly red noses. The colour had nothing to do with any sort of chill in the air. Lionel, though he'd prefer not to admit it, was feeling the effects of the alcohol more strongly than his younger counterpart. Alistair was simply feeling better. They burst through the door together, Alistair with his arm around Lionel's shoulders. "We're back!" Alistair announced.
"He sounds better," Judy whispered with relief to her mother as she and Jean came from the kitchen to greet their husbands. Judy hugged Alistair. "Did you have a good chat?"
"Any chat with my 'Main Man' is always a good one," he said.
"I'm glad." She decided to wait until later to ask him about his panic attacks.
"I think I need to sit down," said Lionel. He didn't wait for a reply, just stepped into the sitting room and fell into his chair. Was the floor moving?
"Lionel?" Jean inquired, taking a step towards the sitting room as well. Then she turned back to her son-in-law. "What did he have to drink?"
Alistair's eyes opened wider and he shook his head, "I don't know what it was, but it had a kick. Woof!" He thrust his fist into the air as punctuation.
"That's exactly what I need: a barking husband!" Jean exclaimed, this time entering the sitting room to look closely at Lionel.
"That's not funny," he told her.
"What's not funny?"
"Stop moving around."
"Lionel, I'm standing perfectly still." Jean chuckled.
"Well, sit down then."
"Oh, poor Lionel," Judy said as she and Alistair came into the room too. "I think this might be our cue to go. Mum, I'll phone you tomorrow."
"Yes, all right, Judy, Luv." Jean turned her attention away from her husband for a moment to hug Judy and Alistair good bye. "Oh, congratulations again! If you need anything, anything at all –"
"We know your number. We'll be fine, Mum," Judy replied with assurance.
"Don't worry, Lovely Lady. Judy's wish is my command. I'll take care of her as if my life depended on it." That was Alistair.
"Good bye, Lionel." Judy leaned in to kiss Lionel on the cheek. "Thank you," she added in a whisper. Though he was already beginning to feel queasy from the alcohol, he smiled back at her and squeezed her hand.
"Bye, Li. You know, a good cup of coffee –"
"Don't push it, Alistair," Lionel warned.
After hugging Jean one more time, the kids climbed into their car – Judy again at the wheel – to head home.