Standard disclaimer applies.

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The Sound of Jasmine

By: Luna

Part Six: Emotion

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"He killed her. Did he tell you that?"

I sighed as I placed a customers order on the table. It was busy tonight, and I was glad my shift was almost over. I glanced over to the table that Kenshin used to sit in, but now every night was occupied by a strange, white haired man that frightened me unlike any other.

"I figured he'd take the cowards way out and not tell you everything. So what did he tell you?"

He always seemed to watch me, and even though I was brave enough to approach Kenshin, I refused to go near this man. His eyes were dark and crazed. And the way he watched me while drinking sake unnerved me. There were rumors going on about a crazed murderer in the district, and looked like he could fit the part.

"At least he didn't lie to you."

I went in the back to rest my aching feet, squeezing my eyes shut against the memory of Enishi's words that wouldn't let me forget.

I didn't want to see Kenshin as the type of man that would murder his own wife. I knew that Kenshin couldn't have been and possibly still was that type of person.

"I was returning from a . . . trip to visit my sister, only to find out she'd been kidnapped."

I thought of Kenshin. His surprise at a stranger showing concern for him. The haunted look he would get in his eyes whenever he was left by himself. The way he smiled at me for the first time, and told me he cared.

"I . . . followed you home. Some men were making inappropriate gestures to you, and when you left so did they. And I . . ."

His sad eyes when he was washing his hands, trying to wash away the blood that only he could see . . .

"I wanted to repay you for the kindness you've shown me. It's more than anybody has ever done since . . ."

He was kind to me. He talked to me like a person, and treated me better than anyone else ever had. He must have heard the horrible things the people said about me, about me being stupid. But he never once treated me like I wouldn't understand. When I asked for the truth he gave it to me. And when I needed comfort he was there.

"That bastard murdered her."

He was not the type of man that would marry a woman he didn't love, and he definitely wasn't the type to kill that most cherished person. I remembered the way his eyes glazed over in pain when Enishi mentioned her.

No, I thought with a small shake of my head. No matter who Kenshin is, a man like him could never intentionally kill the woman who chose to love him despite him being a killer.

"You don't know the extent of the Hitokiri Battousai's power. Nothing . . . nothing that man does is an accident."

I pulled my shawl over my shoulders, and made my way out the back doors.

"I . . . I have someone else with me now . . . Someone else to care about."

"Yes, Kenshin, you do."

I closed the doors behind me, walking into the cold night with worry in my heart.

"Jasmine, my dear, I have a gift for you." Enishi announced as he dropped a wrapped package onto my lap.

I blinked and hurriedly drew away my needle, the package almost making me mess up my needlework. "For me?" I looked up at him with a frown. "Whatever for?"

Enishi rolled his eyes and gave me a charming grin. "For the winter festival, of course. It started early in the morning and it's nearly noon, so we have all day to enjoy it."

A small smile quirked at my lips, and I raised an eyebrow at him. "What makes you so sure I'm going to go with you?"

He grinned. "Aw, you know you want to."

I turned my eyes to a stiff Kenshin folding the laundry with jerky movements. He always seemed too tense whenever Enishi came over. "Kenshin? Would like to accompany me?"

I ignored Enishi's muffled groan. Kenshin looked at me surprised. Did he think I didn't want him to come? When he was relaxed, he was actually very good company. His eyes turned cold and he darted a look at Enishi, then he took a step towards me and graced me with one of his rare smiles. "I would love to Miss Jasmine."

A warm feeling bubbled up inside me, and I smiled at him despite the feeling of confusion the warmth brought along with it.

I turned my attention to Enishi's gift and carefully opened it. When the wrapping was drawn away, my breath caught. It was a kimono-the most beautiful kimono that I ever remembered. It was a bright silk red, with golden flowers etched into the fabric, and a black silk obi with gold and dark green stitching. The hair combs that lay on top were a beautiful pale ivory, and the beauty of the whole gift left me breathless. I stared up at Enishi. "I can't accept this! It's way too expensive!"

Enishi shrugged. "I can afford it. Besides, it's rude to refuse a gift! Now go change so we can go!"

It took awhile, but finally I was ready to go. The new kimono felt wonderful against my skin, and I had put my hair half up and half down with the hair combs holding my hair up. Looking into my cracked mirror, for once in my life, I felt beautiful.

When I opened up the shoji leading outside, both Kenshin and Enishi stopped what they were doing and stared. Flustered, I looked down and folded my hands in my lap. Kenshin was the first to speak. "Miss Jasmine, you look very lovely." He gave me another one of his smiles, and that strange feeling came back.

Enishi had changed into a pair of white pants with wide blue stripes running down the back, and a white shirt. He looked handsome in his new outfit, but, like always, my eyes strayed to Kenshin.

He hadn't changed, for I knew, like me, he only owned one set of clothing. But he had cleaned up wonderfully, his glorious mane of red silk tied tight high on his head, and I swore I saw a few specks of lavender mixed with his warm amber eyes, and I found myself giving him a quiet, soft smile . . .

Enishi snorted. "Lovely? She looks gorgeous! Shall we go?" He held out his arm for me to take, but I smiled again and kept my hands folded in front of me as I walked past and out the front gate.

The festival was lovely. There were some people dancing down the street, and music and singing could be heard over the loud hum of the crowd. I enjoyed the festivities, and was glad when the night quickly approached.

We had prayed, or I should say I had prayed, for good luck in the coming winter, and afterwards we went to a restaurant and had some delicious oden.

Dancing was everywhere, and I could tell that Enishi was getting quite drunk. Kenshin had disappeared right after dinner somewhere, so when I declined from dancing with Enishi, I went to search for him.

I didn't know exactly where he was, but I new it was somewhere quiet, away from all the noise of the crowd.

I found him standing in the middle of a bridge crossing the river, staring down at the reflection of the stars. I stopped, and I couldn't help but stare. He looked so handsome standing there: leaning up against the rails, his hair blowing in the wind, and his haunted eyes sad and thoughtful all at once. I walked quietly towards him, my hand running against the rail.

I didn't say anything to him when I reached his side, only stared down at the crescent moon's watery reflection. Only the tell tale sound of distant music could be heard, and with the fireflies glowing around us, the scenery was almost ethereal.

I smoothed my hands down the front of my new kimono, again marveling at its beauty. I let out a soft laugh. "I feel so delicate and pretty in this new kimono. Enishi really didn't have to buy this for me."

"You don't have to dress nice to be beautiful, Miss Jasmine, you are anyways." Kenshin said in a soft voice, turning his head to face me for the first time. I stared back at him, almost in wonder, and gave him another soft smile. "Thank you, Kenshin. It makes me feel special, knowing you think that." And it did.

I turned back to the rivers reflection. "I never really celebrated any sort of holiday after . . . after my family died. I didn't think I deserved to."

"Why?" I smiled when I heard the uncertainty in his voice; as if he didn't think he should ask that.

"My mother died of cholera, and shortly after, my brother caught the disease too." Tears burned in my eyes as I remembered once again what happened. "Papa went mad shortly after little Kyo's death, and he blamed it on me. He hung himself the very night Kyo died. I had to bury them by myself because I couldn't afford to-to have them cremated . . ." My voice was thick with sorrow, but I didn't allow myself to cry.

"Do you know how hard it is . . . to bury your own family?" I took a deep breath, not really knowing why I was telling him all of this. Nobody had known before, and he would be the first. "I've always believed that it was my fault that they died. If maybe I had taken care of Kyo better, if only he had lived papa wouldn't have gone mad, and we'd still be a family . . ."

Kenshin's warm hands suddenly closed over mine, and he pulled them off the railing and gripped them firmly. "It wasn't your fault, Miss Jasmine. They died because it was their time. Sometimes . . ." He hesitated. "Sometimes things happen that you have no control over, and the best thing you can do is to grow stronger and move on."

I smiled at him and curled my fingers in his hands. "I know, Kenshin. As I've grown older, I've come to accept what happened. Though sometimes, the nightmares . . ." I sighed, and he slowly let go of my hands and faced the river. "Sometimes the nightmares wont let me think otherwise."

Kenshin nodded. "I know the feeling."

We both stood in silence, listening to the sound of the river. And for the first time I could recall, I felt truly happy.

The same warm feeling from earlier bubbled up inside me, heating me to the core. Realization swept through me when I realized what it was, but along with that understanding, a new raw emotion swept through me.

I didn't want to feel this way, I didn't want to open my heart to pain. I knew that Kenshin would someday leave, and I probably would never get a chance to tell him how much his company had meant to me. How much he meant to me.

I've always been alone.

Ever since the incident I stayed away from people. And though it was lonely, I survived and was able to continue living in my house.

But despite all my misgivings- despite me telling myself over and over again how wrong these emotions were, those two, singular feelings bubbled up inside me, nearly overflowing my heart with pure, unadulterated sensation.

But despite the warmth heating my core, another, more uncertain emotion rose just as quickly.

And that emotion was called fear.

And what had caused that fear, was the emotion called love