Standard disclaimer applies.

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The Sound of Jasmine

By: Luna

Part Eight: Kenshin's Interlude.

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Blood.

Oozing, gushing, blood. Pouring out of every single pore in my body, searing pain engulfing me whole.

That's what I see everynight in my nightmare of dreams. I cannot escape it. No matter what I do, I can never escpape the taste and smell of blood.

I don't know what I had hoped to accomplish here. Nothing has changed; I am still the merciless killer I was before she decided to invite me into her home. I can never escape what I have done, or what I have become. No matter what I do, no matter where I go, I can never fully wash away the vile coppery taste of blood from my mouth, and I can never wash the stains off my hands.

I don't know why I even attempted to try.

When I first saw you, standing alone in that crowded tavern, a wooden mask strapped to your face, your eyes had met mine for only a moment, but it seemed that was all it took. The memory of your blue eyes stayed with me. On my missions, in my sleep . . . For that one single moment, in my minds eye your face reflected all the pain in my soul, and I found myself drawn.

I was confused. How could one as lovely as you know the pain that I had witnessed in your eyes? Sensed in your soul? I had tried to ignore you, just as I tried to ignore them. Them, the frightened children that call themselves women in a household full of men. I was used to the feeling of fear, so it didn't bother me when none of them approached me to take my order. But you did. And you weren't scared at all.

You didn't look at me, but then again, I hadn't looked at you. Every night it was the same. I'd come in, you'd take my order of sake, and then leave. It was starting to become a routine for me, one that I didn't I mind participating in. And then that one night . . . The night I had chosen to drink, when the hellish reality of my world seemed too heavy for my shoulders to bear, I had felt your eyes on me again, and I felt oddly comforted.

Then there was the night that I had actually gotten sick, and you gave me a cup of tea to soothe my fever, then wrote me note telling me to get better. Why? Why had you shown such kindness to a person like me?

Like the morning mist, the darkness seemed to dissipate, and light seemed to fill the room when you slid open the shoji door, and stepped into the room with our dinner.

Three.

You had three sets of trays. Had Enishi finally returned and is now joining us for dinner? I hated it. I hated him. He intruded upon my solitude; my time alone that I selfishly wished with Kaoru, and then he dared try to court her.

I shook my head. She was not mine to claim, and I shouldn't be having these kind of thoughts.

The shoji opened wider, and to my surprise, it wasn't Enishi. He was a tall man with spiky brown hair and dark brown eyes. He wore a white shirt, the front gaping indecently open showing his chest. I frowned. Koaru had better not have picked up some begging stranger off the street. I'm going to have to talk to her about that.

You looked up at me then, and I stopped myself from glaring at the man and turned to gaze at you, nodding my head in slight acknowledgment. Even with me sitting in the darkness, you always seemed to know where I was.

You smiled then, but when I was about to speak, the tall man started speaking first as he slammed the shoji shut.

I saw you wince, just slightly, and this time I did glare at the man, but he paid me no heed.

"Man, Jou-san, this place is looking good! I had no idea you were going to start repairing this place on your own! Maybe I should've come back sooner!" He had an easy going voice, but I still didn't like him.

You smiled. "Sanosuke-kun, I'm not the one who did it." You gave a soft laugh. "Kenshin is the one who did all the work." It was then that I realized that he hadn't noticed me sitting in the shadows, but you did not know that.

'Sanosuke' looked at you with a strange look to his eyes, but his lips moved up in a quirky grin. "Oh? You got an admirer I don't know about?" He laughed, but I could tell it was slightly forced.

You smiled again, and slightly raised one of your eyebrows at him. "Why should you care?"

The man shrugged, still grinning. "Somebody has to beat them admirers away, or else you'll get so many men at your door asking you to marry them! Men nowadays only want one thing, you know. Why, I'll bet this Kenshin dude is no different! Just point 'im out to me, I'll show him not to lead my Jou- san on!" He seemed to miss you waving your hands in warning, but it was too late. He had already added fuel to my burning rage, and that last insult to my being was the last straw.

I stood up slowly, and then the sudden and undeniable click of a sword moving from it's sheath filled the room. The mans eyes widened when he suddenly spotted me walking slowly towards him. "Curb your tongue. I will not allow you to insult me."

Sanosuke jumped to his feet, his fists held out in front of him defensively. I glared coldy into his eyes, for once glad when I felt a spark of fear in his ki. Did he really think that fists were any match agains't my sword? A soft feather light touch of cool fingers on my hand stopped me from advancing, and I looked down into your pleading eyes. "No killing, Kenshin. Please, not here. I'm sure Sanosuke-kun didn't mean anything by it."

Normally I would've thrown your hands aside, just like I would have anybody else, but this was you. And I couldn't for the life of me force myself to throw your touch away.

Slowly, I lowered my sword.

Sanosuke eyes were blazing with anger, and he stood stiffly with his arms at his side. "Jou-san. Can I speak with you alone for a second?"

You sighed, and your hand lingered over mine for just a second. "I'll be right back, Kenshin."

I don't know why he bothered trying to speak in another room. With his yelling I would have heard him anyway.

"How can you let a man like that into your home? He's dangerous, Kaoru!" I narrowed my eyes at the intimate use of your name, but stayed quiet and continued to listen.

"Did you see the way he handled that sword? He's no amatuer! What if in the middle of the night he comes in and tries to kill you in your sleep! How could you?" His voice was accusing, and when you didn't answer, I became a bit uneasy.

Silence filled both rooms for a moment when, at last, you spoke. "Are you finished?" Your voice was quiet, like always, but I heard the slight anger in your voice.

"I trust him, Sanosuke-kun." Your words hit me hard, and my eyes widened slightly. "Besides," You continued. "If he did want to kill me, it wouldn't be in my sleep. Kenshin has more pride and honor than that." Your words almost made me want to smile. Almost.

"Pride? Honor? Kaoru, that man has eyes of a hitokiri! He kills people for a hobby for cryin' out loud!" He growled.

"No, Sano, he doesn't. Please do not insult him." Your voice turned pleading, and it made me want to pound that bastards face in for making you appear vulnerable. "Please can we just eat dinner? The food is getting cold, and it would take longer for me to reheat the miso soup."

I heard the man sigh."Damn, Jou-san. When you look at me like that, how can I refuse?" I was angry, but now it was for a different reason. Who and what was this man to her?

The shoji slid open once again, and I felt myself scooting over unconsciously like I always do to make room for you to sit at my side. When you settled down and started serving out the dishes, Sanosuke's eye's narrowed suspiciously, but wisely stayed quiet and sat down across from us. He cleared his throat. "Sanosuke Sagara. I would say it's a pleasure, but it obviously ain't."

"Sanosuke-kun!" You scolded gently. I ignored him.

Dinner was quiet, and when it was time for the man to leave I was relieved. I didn't walk out with either you or him when it was time to say goodbye. He knew where to leave-the same way he entered.

I had already started to put away the dishes when you entered once again. "I'm sorry, Kenshin. Sanosuke was just joking when he said you were . . .er, only after one thing." I looked up in surprise when I saw your nose powdered in pink. I relaxed just a bit and chuckled, something I did with only you.

"That's quite alright, Kaoru-san. Thank you for stopping me when you did, however." There are certain rules a hitokiri must follow, after all. And one of those rules is to never kill who you are not assigned to. Besides, I would hate myself even more if I had disrespected you so and spilled blood inside your home.

You shook your head and followed me into the kitchen. "Sanosuke had no right in saying what he did."

"How do you know if I wouldn't?" I asked gently.

"I know you." Was your soft reply.

"You don't know nearly enough." You shouldn't put so much faith in me, dear one, I could hurt you . . .

"I know all I need to." You looked up at me then, determination shining in your eyes. "Quit trying to find ways for me not to like you. I already do." I nearly took a step back, shocked at your admission. Once, I had told you that I had you to care about, but I never truly believed that you would care for me back.

You sighed. "Kenshin . . . no one should think so little of themselves."

I was silent for a long time with my back to you. I didn't understand. Why should you care so much? Why should you bother telling me lies? Though they weren't lies to you, they were lies to me. I was not one that deserved anything, and you, my dear Kaoru, shouldn't try to make me think otherwise.

"Why do you let me stay here?" My voice was low, but I had to ask. I've been wanting to ask that for a long time.

You hesitated in answering, but I needed to know. "Because . . . if you leave . . . I'll be alone once again. And . . . I really hate the feeling."

I looked at you , but your face was turned so that your bangs hid your facial expression. "Kaoru-san . . . if you'd just look around, you'd realize you're not as alone as you think." I was thinking of Sanosuke and Enishi. Though I didn't like either of them, they both seemed to generally care for you.

You looked up and smiled at me, but there was almost a sad look in your eyes. "The same can go for you, Kenshin."

I looked down at you, once again shocked, but you only smiled at me once again, then bid me a goodnight and went to bed.

Still . . . I did not understand.

Tomoe had taught me that even a person such as I had meaning in this world . . . but how could I? I was a monster, and I had killed her with my own sword. And Kaoru . . .

There was a feeling in my chest . . . deep inside the heart that I had thought died, and I almost stumbled with the realization. What I had felt for Tomoe . . . I seem to feel the same way towards you, Kaoru. Only it's stronger, seems more passionate. I shook my head, the room spinning before my eyes.

Grabbing my haori, I opened up the shoji, and disappeared into the night.

I was running from my feelings, I knew, but I was too confused to care.

There she was.

I have been missing for a couple of days, fulfilling my assignments and giving myself time to think. But I was drawn back again. Like a moth to a flame, I was drawn back to her.

She was standing near a bare tree, staring out at the now snow tipped mountains. She turned her head slightly and looked at me from over her shoulder, gave me a small smile, then turned back. She always seemed to know when I was around.

She wore her hair down today, the thick fall of ebony silk cascading down her back. the wind had picked up the silken tresses, blowing her hair around her gracefully. "This tree, Kenshin, is a cherry blossom. It won't bloom yet, obviously, but when it does, I cant wait to witness it."

She picked up her hand and laid it up against the bark. "There are some out there that spend their whole lives . . . looking for the perfect blossom. But you know what I found out?" She turned and looked at me from over her shoulders again. "They are all perfect. Every single one of them." You turned back. "Even . . . the ones that fall."

I think that was when I started staring.

She . . . was perfect. In every way imaginable, she was perfect.

I had left her, even if it was for a short time, right after she had told me she didn't want me to leave. And still, she kept her arms open, welcoming me ? Why is she so kind to me? Why is she so different from everybody else?

The thing was, she should be no different. She should be no different from the next faceless person I pass on the road. But she is. In everyway imaginable, she is different. And this time I didn't care.

After Tomoe, I had thought that I would never again feel the things that she had made me feel. But I am. And even though I accepted the feelings being much stronger than before, it still frightens me.

Yes, the great Battousai is frightened over what he feels for another.

But wouldn't anybody else in my position? Sometimes when I'm fighting, I give in to the madness eating away at my soul. I revel in the feeling of bloodlust. And here I am having feelings about a woman I shouldn't even know.

I could hurt you, dear Kaoru . . .

And that is what frightens me above all.

But . . .

Kaoru . . .

I want to . . . find out all about you . . . I want you to feel comfortable around me enough to tell me everything that's on your mind. I want you to feel that it's okay to confide into me-that it's okay to rely on me when you need someone. I want . . . I want you to feel things that I have no right in asking.

Which is why I am going to leave.

Maybe not at this very moment, but soon, I am going to have to leave.

"Kenshin . . ."

I looked up and gave the smile I give only to you. "Let's go, Kaoru-san. It's starting to get chilly."

You smiled then, and I felt a saddness in me that nearly broke me in two.

Yes . . . I'll be leaving soon . . .

Until then, koishii, please . . .

"Yes, let's head back home, Kenshin."

Let me stay with you . . .