A/N: -runs up, falling over a couple times before finally hitting the computer screen- Ow… Right. Anyways. XD GOMEN! This is extremely late… but it's here now! And done! So enjoy! XD
Um... to 'dragon' who wanted me to email them the story, I couldn't cause ff(dot)net cut off your email (it doesn't like things that remotely resemble links/websites)... I could only see the user name (DragonPixie14)and not what domain it was at... so send me a separate email or something and I'd be glad to do so :)

Chapter 5 – Things Are Going Well… Or Not

Kagome busied herself with Sesshoumaru's health, concern hanging over her head like a dark cloud whenever he seemed to have a relapse and become even worse. Even though there were many times when it seemed that nothing she did could pick up his health, she had to admit that slowly, he was steadily healing as the phases of high fever grew further apart.

Sesshoumaru remained as cold and distant as ever, submitting to her tending but ignoring her after she finished whatever she had to do. She could tell being stuck as a human bothered him. A lot. She could only imagine how much he hated it. Inuyasha wasn't all too fond of his monthly change and he didn't even despise humans. Well, at least not nearly as much as Sesshoumaru who was a full youkai too, not a hanyou.

The young miko sighed softly. Inuyasha. He still hadn't come and the second week since their separation was already nearing its end. Even when Sesshoumaru regained full health, some of that worry hovering over her would still remain until Inuyasha returned.

The former Taiyoukai was a welcome distraction though, despite him not talking to her and not appearing very appreciative for her help. He had stopped frowning every time she had to touch him to change his bandage, which was an improvement at least. An indifferent expression was better than one that made her patient look like he wanted to kill her, making Kagome all the more grateful that he no longer featured his poison claws.

She still cried whenever she was alone. It surprised her that the lack of Inuyasha's presence meant so much to her. She never thought anyone could make her worry so much about them, other than her family members of course. But she couldn't help but notice that her sorrow wasn't quite the same as what she would feel if someone in her family had died. If someone she loved had died. What did that mean then? She definitely cared a great deal about Inuyasha… but was it love?

Kagome didn't know what to think. She told herself she could blame this on the fact that it was very early in the morning (the sky had only begun to pale and take on that golden glow) and that she was probably still sleepy. The truth was, she had already been awake for more than an hour and had simply been watching the stars fade from the dark sky.

Another hour passed and the sky had turned mostly pink and orange, a few wisps of cloud making their way across it. Kagome blinked then sighed, rolling over to get up. There really wasn't much point in just lying there.

I might as well go take an early bath and bring some more firewood on the way back…

She gathered up her little bag of soap and shampoo, a towel and her bow and arrows. She still didn't feel very safe without them. Glancing over at Sesshoumaru's sleeping figure, she couldn't help but send a small sympathetic smile at him.

Poor guy. No one deserves to be stuck in a form they hate. Although maybe being human might teach him something about being nice.

The miko blinked then hastily covered her mouth with a hand to stifle the laughter that threatened to bubble out of her.

Sesshoumaru, being nice. Yeah right! That'll be the day.

Continuing on towards the stream that branched off from the river she had floated down a week ago, Kagome muttered as she walked past Sesshoumaru's still form, "Kagome, something is definitely wrong with your head if you ever believe it will happen."

Sesshoumaru thought there was something wrong with her already.

Although Kagome had thought he was still sleeping, he had actually awoken just after she had. Wanting to remain inconspicuous, he had kept his eyes closed and remained still. Otherwise, he would have had to deal with her chattering to him, hoping to elicit some form of conversation.

It seems she's perfectly fine creating discussions with herself. Very odd.

As the sounds of her trekking off towards the stream could no longer be heard by his human ears, he waited 5 minutes more before opening his eyes. He didn't trust his human senses one bit. Shifting his arm, he rolled over and propped himself up on his arm. Under Kagome's care, he had regained enough strength to do so, although standing up was still out of the question. Although he found her despicable, he had to admit that her care was efficient and effective. His puncture wound was healing quite nicely, luckily with no signs of infection.

Sesshoumaru glanced over at her empty sleeping bag. It seemed Kagome sometimes forgot he was even there. Late at night, he could often hear her crying and he didn't think she would have if she actually thought about him lying a few meters away. It disgusted him.

He didn't know exactly why she was so upset, but he could guess it had something to do with the absence of his worthless half-brother. He preferred it that way.

The former Taiyoukai stared down at his body. It was frustrating having to heal so slowly since he was so used to rarely giving it a second thought. He could almost, almost, give humans credit for putting up with such slow healing capabilities, especially when they went about getting themselves injured as often as they did.

Sesshoumaru paused as he realized something. He was actually considering acknowledging these humans?

It must be this cursed human mind.

He had noticed that any emotions he experienced felt as if they were magnified tenfold. He was having quite a bit of difficulty keeping his temper under control and not flat out screaming at (or wringing the neck of) the girl who aggravated him whenever she prodded him for a conversation. It was strange to have his feelings no longer under a tight rein and it worried him (there it was again, more emotion) since he always kept everything in his life under control. Sesshoumaru hated having things beyond his power.

A frown had begun to creep across his normally stony features when he heard a sound behind him. Recognizing the sound as Kagome returning from her bath, Sesshoumaru smoothed his face over to the well-practiced emotionless mask.

Seeing him propping himself up by the dead fire, Kagome blinked then rubbed her eyes, wanting to remove any trace of redness. Of course, rubbing them made the redness worse instead of any better. Putting on her own mask of happiness, she walked into the little camp with her bundle of firewood. Sesshoumaru caught a glimpse of this and found himself, surprisingly, somewhat amused by this.

So she tries to hide her depression from me. She doesn't know I hear her tears at night…

"You're awake! How about some breakfast?" The miko said cheerfully, putting down the wood and turning to her bag. Rummaging inside, she pulled out two bowls of ramen and couldn't help but smile genuinely as she handed one to Sesshoumaru.

Kagome could remember the first time she offered a bowl to him. He had simply stared at it and she had to state clearly that if he didn't eat it, his condition would probably get worse from lack of food. Anything to do with his health worsening seemed to be the magic words, for he had silently picked up the bowl. Placing a single noodle in his mouth he had paused and sat there as if contemplating something. Eventually, he had continued eating, much to Kagome's delight.

Although Sesshoumaru would never admit it, it was obvious that he liked the noodles. Almost unnoticeable, unlike Inuyasha's evident enjoyment, there was a slight change to his demeanour when he sat and ate the ramen. His eyes seemed brighter somehow and he appeared thoroughly content. It took all of Kagome's will power not to start laughing. Who would have thought the great Lord of the Western Lands could be so pleased with a simple bowl of ramen?

They ate in silence and it wasn't until they had finished that Kagome decided to try forcing a conversation out of the former Taiyoukai again. She started with the same question she asked every time.

"So… Sesshoumaru. Do you mind telling me how you ended up like this?"

"Yes, I do mind." Kagome began to frown but blinked in surprise when Sesshoumaru continued on. "But it seems you will not cease asking that same question until I answer it."

He ignored the delighted look that lit her face and stared past the miko into the trees. Sunbeams were streaming through the branches and leaves creating a beautiful setting, but he closed his eyes to it, realizing he could no longer pick out every single particle that floated in those beams.

"A female youkai did this to me."

"Who?"

"I do not know. She claims it is revenge for how I treated her previously, but I cannot recall when we met."

"How did she do it?" Kagome asked, a light frown touching her forehead, this time out of interest and worry.

"My dreams."

"What kind of dreams?"

Sesshoumaru opened his eyes to settle his violet gaze upon her. He didn't like revealing anything personal to others, but in this case… for some reason a part of him wanted to tell her.

It's this human mind again…

Kagome began to feel uncomfortable and nervous as he continued to stare unblinkingly at her during his inner battle. For some reason his violet eyes seemed a lot more unnerving than his golden ones. Perhaps it was because they showed a lot more emotion, usually annoyance but emotion nonetheless, whereas when he was a youkai, they never revealed anything at all. If this was due to him being human, what else could change?

"Er…" Kagome decided to say something, if only to get him to blink. "If you don't want to tell me, you don't have-"

"My fears." Sesshoumaru said suddenly as if there had been no break in the conversation.

"What?"

"My fears." He repeated, looking away much to the miko's relief.

"Oh…" Kagome blinked at him. She was rather surprised that he would admit something like that to her and although she knew it was probably hard enough to tell her that, she wanted to know what kind of fears… It seemed she shouldn't have worried. Sesshoumaru began to speak again since he could tell from her face that she wanted to know more and there was something that made him feel like he would not have been able to stop talking even if he wanted to.

If he wanted to? Sure, he had wanted to tell her for some reason, but so much that he would not be able to stop himself? He lingered on that thought for only a moment before deciding to return to it later.

"Namely my worst fear. Her most recent attempt, surely not her last once she discovers I am not a rotting corpse, to gain her revenge has been to alter me so that it corresponded with it."

He watched as the young miko's grey-blue eyes widened in understanding.

"I guessed that this was awful for you, but not this bad Sesshoumaru. But is being human really that horrible?" Kagome asked, tilting her head slightly.

"Humans are worthless. I despise this body." He spat, feeling as if this would make up for his strange behaviour.

Kagome abruptly stood up and glared down at him, all sympathy dissolving into nothingness.

"Well I shouldn't have saved you then if you hate it this much! If you just tried to accept it Mr. I'm-A-Full-Youkai-And-I-Hate-Humans then maybe things wouldn't seem so bad! Or wait… that should have been Mr. I-Was-A-Full-Youkai-And… Agh! Never mind!" Kagome yelled, shaking her head. "The point is if you weren't so stubborn about disliking us humans so much, you might find something there to like!"

"I highly doubt it." Sesshoumaru said coldly, staring up at her from under his chestnut bangs.

"You know what?" She started, putting her hands on her hips, "You hate Inuyasha and think you're nothing like him. I'll admit that in a lot of ways you aren't alike but from being around you these past two weeks… I can honestly say you are just as stubborn and can be just as much of a jerk as he is."

"Do not compare me to that half-breed. If this is some sad little attempt to replace his absence I suggest you don't bother." His patience was wearing thin.

Kagome gaped at him. "What?! I--"

"You await his return, do you not?"

Her silence answered his question.

"These past two weeks I have heard you weep, although I haven't the slightest idea why you would give so much as a thought to that useless being. In fact, since he has not arrived by now I suggest you give up waiting, for he is probably lying somewhere dead being pecked at by vultures."

It was cruel and he knew it. Whatever hope she had was most likely severely damaged if not completely broken. Sesshoumaru felt somewhat pleased at having ceased her lecturing (although it had been in a way that wasn't quite as refined as he normally would have done it) and a smirk began to grow on his face that he couldn't stop, that is… until the young miko's face changed.

Her face fell, pain evident in her features. She managed to whisper, "You're wrong…" before rushing off into the trees.

Sesshoumaru suddenly felt a strange sensation creep through his body. It left him feeling filthy, in the non-literal sense. He rather disliked this feeling. He recalled hearing someone describe a feeling like this before and didn't like what it meant one bit. For the third time that day, he cursed his human mind.

The Lord of the Western Lands had experienced his first taste of guilt.

A/N: Okay, this chapter was really late but I must give a warning and say the next one will take a while too. Finals are here and I'm gonna be occupied with those for about 2 weeks. SO be patient as you have been for this update XD Thank you!
To make up for my lateness and future late...nesses (if that's a word o.O woo look at my vocabulary lol) I bring you a terribly cute picture that I drew and only recently finished colouring... er... wait... they don't let me post links... Ugh. So again, if you want to see it, checkout my devART account. The link is on my author page. :)

Thank to the reviewers: Skitzoflame, annika, Dagorwen of Ithilien, animefreak321654, AnimeMoonlightGoddess, Queen of the Storms, Tokyogurl1, Shrew-hanyou, Mori'quessir, Inuyashaluver52293, marianne, dragon, Animefan1026, foxfire02, excel-saga, RavenSilverKat, Animefan1026, utena, shadowgirl/ashleigh, Forsaken Wanderer, crazy-punk-gurl, CherryBlossomLove

Wow lots. Makes me happy :D

Oh and another thing. Even though ff(dot)net has an author alert thing, if people want to be put on a mailing list so that I'll send an e-mail once the fic has been updated, let me know in a review (or some other way that gives me your email)and I'll add you :D -hugs to all-

This fanfic has been discontinued - It's probably obvious by now and I realize I should have left a note stating this a long time ago, but better late than never. Unfortunately, I lost interest in the pairing and from what I could remember, I was hopelessly stuck on how to start the next chapter. I had tried several times with none of them sounding right.

I'll leave the story up as deleting it would just be mean. XD Sorry for the disappointment and thanks for reading nonetheless. Cheers!