Part2- regrets and conspiracies
Coruscant, the Jedi council's Temple spire
Bastila looked up at the vastly tall spire of the Jedi enclave on Coruscant. She had never actually been here before, she'd been too vital to the war effort and so had been kept busy on the front or guarded at Dantooine, where they could deploy her at a moments notice.
The spire stretched to the clear blue-sky, gleaming with a brilliant white in the warm sun. The grounds were flush with various green leafy plants, soft blooms and light scents. Fountains cascaded clear blue water into shallow bowls with a gentle platter. Bastila sighed, she wished she could stay out here for a little longer and absorb the peace of the gardens. Around her, Jedi's of various skill and ages wandered around, going about their business. Despite the obvious, yet quiet, bustle of the grounds, Bastila felt many eyes light on her in recognition. She wondered if it was due to her history of Battle meditation and the lives she'd saved, the 'death' of Darth Revan or now the fact that she'd fallen to the darkside and had been redeemed by the man she'd set out to vanquish.
Looking back up at the temple spire, Bastila felt a brief wave of anxiety at what awaited her at its tip. The surrounding temple grounds smelt fresh and the calming sound of water helped her relax however and she blew out a breath.
"What happens, happens. I will accept the council's will." She paused and sighed slightly. "Whatever that may be and despite how Revan may feel about it…"
Composed, Bastila walked gently up the steps towards the republic guards at the main entrance. As she approached one of the guards looked up and straightened to a parade stance.
"Yes, Master Jedi. May I help you?"
Bastila handed across the envelope and with it the summons to the council. The guard read the letter inside and looked up at her with a smile.
Ah, yes. Well, the council hasn't convened yet. They asked all those requested to come to this meeting that they wait in conference room two." The other two have arrived before you Master Jedi and are also waiting there for them."
Bastila frowned and looked questioningly at him.
"What others? I assumed that they wanted to see my on my own."
"I wouldn't know, Master Jedi. I'm not privy to why they ask people to come to the council. I was informed to direct all people coming for this meeting, to conference room two. Sorry Ma'am.
"It's no problem, really. Thank you for the directions."
Stepping up she walked into the temples main foyer and glanced around, impressed by what she saw. The hallway was lined with massive pillars, each supporting a high roof in which large plastiglass windows allowed pools of light to splash on the rich red carpet. It was certainly different to the more simple surroundings of Dantooine, she thought. Various Jedi walked wandered the halls, each with their own purpose, and Bastila joined them without pause, ignoring the occasional double take of some Jedi. Walking across the huge hallway, she moved to a directions map and examined it carefully. Conference room two was on the fifth floor of the temple spire and she took a turbolift to reach it. Walking down a corridor upon its stop at the top of the main spire, she found the doorway and looked at it. The door to conference room two was neatly inset smoked plastiglass and as she stepped up to the door she noticed two blurred figures moving around inside. Taking a deep breath, Bastila opened the door.
"Hey look who it is! Long time no see, Bastila." Mission waved at her from the corner of the room, where she was investigating a food synthesiser. "It's not too bad here, nice décor and the caffa ain't too bad."
Bastila looked at her in shock and turned as the bond suddenly twitched with amusement. Revan sat on a soft sofa on the other side of the room, watching Missions fiddling with the synthesiser with a smile. He looked up at her and winked.
"She wanted to come with me, seems to think a non Jedi should be with us."
Bastila looked at him and felt the shock at his presence give way to annoyance. She placed her hands on her hips and her annoyance with him grew as he groaned, recognising her posture, feeling her irritation.
"Why are you here?" She asked and before he could speak, snapped. "I do not need a chaperone! I can do the occasional thing myself, you know. Just because you… we are, are bonded… does not mean you can follow me around all the time."
Revan watched her finish ranting and stare at him. He opened his mouth.
"I admit that I know why you're here, Bass." She looked at him angrily and he held up a hand. "I'm also here at the councils request though. They need to talk to me about a few things that happened on and before the forge. I would have preferred however that you had told me that they wanted to see you, rather than overhear you and Vrook by accident."
She frowned and slid onto the sofa.
"I… had to do this myself. You didn't need to be here, not for me. I would have come back to you, you know that, right?" She muttered, trying to lie to him again; knew that he would do everything possible to dissuade her. "I have to answer for what I did, you do understand that?"
He opened his mouth to answer and she felt his reluctance to agree. Before he could speak however, the door slid open once more and two female Jedi gracefully walked in.
"Bastila Shan?" Bastila nodded and getting up bowed to the two of them. The female Jedi on the left looked at Revan who'd remained sat on the sofa. "Jedi knight Revan? You are both to accompany us to the council chambers."
Revan got up for the sofa and nodded. He looked across at Mission who pulled herself away from the wall and moved to come with them. The female Jedi who had addressed Bastila held up her hand.
"I'm afraid this is not for non Jedi. Please, remain here and help yourself to refreshments while your colleagues are in the chamber." Mission looked at Revan who shrugged at her, resigned. "Jedi Revan? Please come with us, you need to wear the robe adornments of honour bearer if you wish to stand with Bastila Shan."
Bastila looked at him, her head snapping round, and she narrowed her eyes. Now she could feel him she knew… he was here for her. Annoyed, she turned, pushing his feeling of regret away as he tried to apologise through the bond.
Revan, upset and trying to hide it, looked at the two Jedi and nodded at them. As they left the room, Bastila walked through the door, nudging past him roughly and paying little heed to his look of regret. He sighed, turned and followed them.
The council chamber was at the tip of the main spire of the temple complex. It looked out across a large portion of Coruscant, a gorgeous view. The sun, bright that afternoon, shone through the roof to floor windows placed to allow the view to be just so admired. Arranged in the circular room, the council members of Coruscant looked up as Bastila walked into the centre. She stood, glanced around and bowed deeply… it was time.
"Masters of the council. I have answered your summons. I will abide by the will of the council in all things, no matter the cost."
She pulled herself up out of the bow and looked surreptitiously round the room. Most of the masters surrounding her she didn't know. One chair made her double take, for at first she thought Vandar had come to the council as well as Revan, but she realised that the face was different. The small alien looked up at her and smiled softly, his fingers pursed in thoughtfulness.
"Ah, Bastila. Finally we get to meet the Jedi who defeated Revan and helped to turn him to the lightside of the force, as well as providing your unique battle meditation to the Republic's war effort. It is a great honour Bastila."
She blushed and a feeling of awkwardness slipped over her. The small Jedi must know why she was here, but he obviously wanted to get off on the right foot. She shrugged; it paid to be polite.
"Thank you master?" She paused not knowing his name and the small alien smiled. He waved a hand around the room.
"I am master Vreik, current leader of the council. To the left and right of me is Jedi master Sunrider", an old, yet attractive, woman nodded with a smile, "and master Hieruk," an Ithorian inclined his head. The other Jedi are all council members, I'm sure you will be introduced to them each, sooner of later."
Bastila nodded and cast a glance around the room once more. All of the Masters seemed calm and composed except for one woman who glowered at her silently from a chair nearest the door. Vrieik watched her quietly as she looked around and once her attention slid back to him, steepled his fingers once more.
"Do you know why the council has summoned you young Padawan?" His face never left hers and she felt a brief feeling of apprehension. Clamping down with her emotional control, Bastila nodded. " Please do tell us then, it is good to know why Jedi think we have asked them to come."
"I presume, master, that you have asked me here to deal with my arrogance and stupidity, my failure as a Jedi and my fall to the darkside. I… I understand from the archives that Jedi in the past have been, corrected, when such an occurrence has happened." She looked around to see if Revan had appeared. She had to do it fast if he had, faster if he hadn't. Not seeing him there, she quickly bowed in an old form of supplication. "I am willing to face any punishment you deem fit."
The old Master frowned in surprise as he looked at her. "I feel much guilt in her, to be expected I suppose. But its source is not what she did to herself… because of something she did to someone, her betrayal of someone else…." He watched, as she slowly looked up, puzzled that he had not spoken. He cleared his throat.
"Punishment, young Bastila? The council called you here to answer questions, yes. But we see no need to punish you for something you could not have stopped." He watched her face twist slightly with emotion, relief followed by a… a need, he could sense it. "All we want is to ask you questions, about you and your conduct with Revan. I understand he has asked to be your honour bearer, something that has not occurred for many years in the council. Would you care to explain why?"
Bastila opened her mouth to answer but was cut off by another voice.
"I am more interested in Master Vrook's report… Bastila Shan seems to think the Jedi code does not apply to her and Revan it seems. I would like her to explain how she can be a Jedi and fall in love with the so called "redeemed lord of the Sith"!"
Vreik looked across, as did she and the majority of the council members, to the angry woman in the adjacent door seat. He sighed, recognising her face and glared sternly at her.
"The council does not recognise Master Telan at this time. I ask that you wait until I have asked my questions before posing any of your own. "
He settled back and looked at Bastila. She was obviously confused, embarrassed that they knew about her relationship and, now, unsure of why she had been summoned.
"You are right in that the council has called you to Coruscant in order to ask about your fall to the darkside. However, we feel you should know that no punishment has been assigned to you, nor any blame." He watched as she opened her mouth to protest and quickly continued. "We merely wish to hear, in your own words… and now those of your honour bearer, as to why you fell to the darkside."
Bastila looked in shock at the old Jedi master and felt parts of her begin to crumble. She'd been convinced that they would discipline her, why else summon her to the council on Coruscant? She had been expecting it… almost needed it. As she struggled to cope with her own feelings, a familiar presence slipped into place next to her. Revan, sweating slightly in a set of archaic velveteen robes, looked at her with a smile and winked in supplication. She frowned, her temper rising, had he done this?
"Ah, Revan. I see you've managed to appear here at last." Vriek smiled at him, noting the sheen of perspiration on the young Jedi's face. "Would you like to remove the robes of Honour bearer? As much as we stand on ceremony, and as much as my aides have followed Jedi tradition, it is rather warm in here."
With a grateful nod, Revan gently removed the velvet robe he wore and handed it to a young Padawan standing to one side. Underneath, the starforge robes he had worn while defeating Malak glimmered in the light.
"Thank you master, it was getting a trifle warm."
"Now," Vriek said looking at Revan with interest. "Master Vandar sent the message asking for you to be Bastila's honour bearer. Usually something done only for those Jedi who are incapable of handling their own defence, something Bastila seems more than capable of doing."
Revan looked across at Bastila and felt a twinge of anger slip past her emotional control, aimed for him. He looked away and reinforced his own emotional defences. Although she would be annoyed, even hate him if he did this, he couldn't let her punish herself for something he was responsible for. Even… even if it cost him the one thing keeping him going.
"Master Vandar agreed that Bastila may not," He looked at her and felt even more guilt seep into him. "May not be… sufficiently objective, when it comes to the matter of her fall to the darkside. I asked him if it would be possible to come and shoulder some of the burden."
Bastila looked at him, her mouth slipping open. He had planned to be here, had planned to be her honour bearer and she felt her anger at him grow. He had no right to stop her from submitting to the council for her own peace of mind. She'd fallen to the darkside and had revelled in it. What right did he have to try and stop her? Vriek looked across, sensing her anger and possibly the reasons for it. Turning to Revan he cocked his head.
"We have heard from Vandar about this matter, but now we would like to hear both Bastila's and your version of what happened," He looked across at Bastila who blushed at his knowing stare. "Only after we have heard about your fall from you and Revan, Bastila, will we decide if any punishment, and what it will be, is deserved."
"I… you." She looked at Vreik and sighing, bowed once more. This was a mistake, she was guilty of so much, but she would abide by their decision. "I understand Master Vriek, I apologise for this unforeseen event. I had hoped not to waste too much of the council's time."
"This is no waste young Padawan, especially if Revan and master Vandar feel it needs to be done." Vreik watched Revan glance at Bastila and could feel his anxiety over her response. With a sigh he looked back. "Bastila, please tell us what happened on the Leviathan, I presume that is a good place to start yes?"
Bastila took a deep breath and steeling herself began to speak, quietly and clearly.
"We were apprehended by Admiral Saul Karath after a hyperspace jump towards the planet with the final starmap. He managed to overwhelm us and, once onboard the Leviathan, tortured me in order to extract information from Revan."
"Why you?" Master Sunrider asked quietly, looking at Bastila with gentle eyes. "I mean, if he needed to extract information from Revan, why torture you to gain it?"
Bastila looked at the old Master with a frown. If Master Telan knew that it was due to Revan's love for her, then Sunrider must know as well. Why did she want to hear it spoken by her? With a mental shrug, she looked at the old master.
"Because, master Sunrider, Saul knew that Revan and myself even then were in love with one another." She sighed and glanced over at Revan, her annoyance with him still rankled but she knew she couldn't live without him. "I regret that it gave him a pressure point to use against Revan, one he used as much as possible."
"Regret? You endangered the whole mission with your… infatuation. The code is not something you can pick up and drop at will, Bastila Shan!"
Bastila looked at Telan and saw with surprise the scowl she wore. She wondered what it was that made the Councilwoman so angry towards her, even as Vreik sighed once, loudly.
"Master Telan! I will not remind you again."
"Her emotional involvement could have meant the destruction of the Republic, if Karath had managed to pull any information from Revan it could have meant…"
"That did not happen, Master Telan," The smooth female voice of Sunrider interrupted. "I apologise, master Vreik, for bringing this up. I merely wanted to satisfy myself about something."
"And that was?" Telan asked narrowing her eyes at Sunrider, who smiled gently at Bastila's ashamed face.
"Whether this is more than an infatuation. I can see from her eyes that it is." She looked at Revan and raised her eyebrows at him. "Hmm. I wonder how close you came to telling Saul everything he wanted?"
Revan looked calmly at her, while his heart hammered at the memory.
"I understood how vital our mission was." He answered, without telling her anything.
Vreik cleared his throat and looked at the two Jedi in the centre of the room.
"Could we please continue?"
Bastila nodded.
"We managed to get free, thanks to one of our team. We fought our way to the bridge and met Karath, who after a prolonged battle, we defeated. Unfortunately, he told Carth Onasi as he lay dying, the truth about Revan. Despite this, we made our way together back to the hanger, and it is there that Malak was waiting." She paused at the memory of the dark lord standing there and a shiver passed across her spine, a legacy of her torture at his hands. "He told Revan who he really was, something that made Revan himself ask me the truth."
"And you told him?" Vreik asked quietly. She nodded.
"Well, the point of keeping the truth from him, for me at least, became pointless when he knew. I told him, well I told him just how involved I'd been in his capture," She thought back, to the look or horror and betrayal on his face and felt the guilt rip through her. "He told me that I was no better than the Sith…"
"Something I regret." Revan whispered at her. She ignored him, but felt a tiny trickle of relief slip into her.
"Malak wanted to face Revan on his own, he used the lull while we spoke to concentrate and unleash a massively powerful stasis. I cannot tell you what happened in the time I was frozen, all I know is that when it released us we could hear sabre combat on the other side of the blast door." She paused. The terror she'd felt, the fear, that Revan was being ripped apart by Malak's sabre blade… was not something they needed to know. "It was Carth who managed to get the door open, he managed to override it, but only temporarily. I… I ran through and saw Revan also frozen. Helpless, or so I thought, and Malak about to kill him."
Revan watched her face, he knew that she still blamed herself, but the agony on her face made his own guilt yank at him.
"I had to stop him, I had to." She whispered, the council forgotten. "I foolishly threw my sabre at him and it bounced off that armour he wore. All I did was make him angry, but it was enough for him to attack me instead of Revan or Carth."
Vriek leaned back and, looking at her pained expression of recall sighed.
"I know this is painful but what happened is vital for us to know."
"He… incapacitated me, knew that a few cuts on my arms and legs would paralyse me enough to take me prisoner. He shut the blast door, not anyone else or a malfunction, but him. I see now that I'd done a stupid thing. I risked the mission and gave Malak a terrible weapon to use against Revan. He was the last hope for the republic damn it and I should have been able to hold Malak back!" Her voice was racked with guilt and the council members shifted uncomfortably. "Anyway, he dragged me back to the Rakatan temple and used torture to turn me to the darkside. He thought I would prove to be Revan's undoing… but he was wrong. Revan was stronger than he, or I, thought. He managed to defeat me at the temple, despite my attempts to seduce him from the lightside."
"He resisted you?" Sunrider asked with a sad smile. "How much of your own heart was in the attempt I wonder?"
Bastila looked at Sunrider and steeling herself, she answered truthfully.
"All of it, master. I thought at the time that the council would… would take him away from me, force us apart." She watched as the entire council shifted uncomfortably and sighed. "I thought in my twisted thinking, that by turning him to the darkside we could be together forever. Be together as apprentice and lover. He was all that mattered… him, and the power I could gain being his apprentice."
She heard muttered consternation among some of them, but Vriek merely nodded.
"I see. So that leaves just one question left for us to need answered and then we can decide what punishment, if any, you deserve."
Vreik steepled his fingers and looked over them at her. She felt similar interest from the Ithorian and Sunrider.
"Why in your message to us did you request to be judged over murder young Padawan?" Vreik asked quietly and Bastila felt her guilt twist. "What murder are you implying you committed?"
"Murder?" Revan asked in shock and turned to his lover. "What the force are you talking about?"
Bastila glanced at him and felt her head droop in shame. She should have told him all this back at the Hawk. She should have told him all the terrible things that were ripping at her. Now it was too late, far too late.
"I… When I was being tortured Malak used a variety of methods. Physical, electrical and finally psychological, he seemed to have a rather well developed skill with all, " Bastila smiled sickly and Sunrider's face creased in pain at her tone. "I turned from the light and fell into darkness. My fall was complete only when Malak asked, and I struck down, an innocent woman."
She finished and looked up at Vreik. He and the other council members looked concerned, and some dismayed, at what she had admitted. Sunrider watched her face and Bastila felt heat rush to her cheeks, she knew that she wasn't telling them everything.
"I see. Well, Bastila, you know that the taking off innocent life is a terrible crime. I presume this is what you wished the council to discipline you for?"
Bastila nodded and was about to kneel in readiness for her judgement when she felt Revan stride, determined, next to her. She wondered what he was doing, he had no knowledge of what she'd done there and so anything he could say would be futile. She needed to be punished, needed to release this guilt.
Revan looked down at her with compassion, his soul mate needed to release the guilt she was feeling, but not this way. It was time for him to stop this madness. He faced Vriek.
"Master, it's time for Bastila's honour bearer to speak."
Vreik nodded and looked at Bastila, she was half kneeled in supplication and staring up at Revan with shocked curiosity.
"While I agree with Bastila about events on the Leviathan, I cannot agree with her description of her torture at Malak's hands. I agree that it was brutal, and extremely effective." He looked down at her and felt his heart flutter. "I also say that the fact that she managed to resist the darkside for so long is testament to her commitment to the lightside. However, I cannot let Bastila sacrifice herself for punishment, no matter how much guilt she feels."
Vreik nodded.
"This is all very well and good young Jedi, but the council cannot condone Bastila's murder of an innocent." He looked down at her. "No matter the circumstances surrounding it. While we do not support discipline, it may be necessary in this case."
"Master Vriek I agree in principle, but Bastila has not told the whole truth to the council in this matter. I cannot explain why, except that it may be to alleviate the guilt she feels over her fall to the darkside itself, more than anything else." Bastila stared at him in horror, she could feel her punishment… something that could reduce the guilt, wash it away, beginning to slip away. "The truth of the 'murder' is that Bastila struck down the woman who had been instrumental in torturing her, something she failed to mention. While she was unarmed, she was definitely not an innocent and she was a member of the Sith."
Bastila stood up, her face a picture of betrayal and confusion.
"How do you know what happened? You weren't there…You weren't there, when I needed you." She whispered quietly, so only he could hear. Revan shivered; he felt like she'd hit him with a hammer. Vreik cleared his throat and the two young Jedi looked at him.
"How, may I ask, do you know that Bastila's "innocent" victim was actually the torturer?"
Revan looked at Bastila for just a second and then closed his eyes. What he was about to say would probably anger her, but he had to tell the council, he must!
"Because, master, I have seen it." He watched Bastila's face crease for a few seconds and then her eyes widen in understanding. She looked at him and he could feel her sudden anger slam into him down the bond. "The bond she and I share allow us to do many things. One of these is the ability to share memories and… dreams."
"You stole into my mind?" Bastila blurted out. "Who the force do you think you are!"
"Someone who loves you, and won't let you sacrifice yourself over something you couldn't prevent!" He whispered quietly at her. She paused in her ranting, struggling as her own various emotions slammed around inside her, bouncing off her emotional control. Revan turned to Vreik once more. "With this ability I was able to see a nightmare Bastila was having, the focus of which, was the woman she killed."
Vreik looked at Sunrider who imperceptibly pressed her lips together in thought. With a frown on his wizened face, he looked back at the two Jedi standing before him.
"This information brings a whole new perspective to the events you wished us to discuss Padawan Shan." She looked around at him, her eyes wild. "The council will require time to decide what will happen. Please, we ask that you wait back in the conference room with your companion… Mission is her name yes? Revan, please remain, we need to ask you a few questions and I understand you wish to ask us some as well."
"Yes, master, I do. Thank you." He said quietly, his eyes never wandering from Bastila's face, from the shocked anger rippling in her eyes. Vreik watched them for a few seconds and then cleared his throat.
"Padawan Shan?"
She looked at him and opened her mouth.
"You can't… I mean he doesn't," She paused and a feeling of defeat swept over her. "I… I will return to the conference room Master, but I…"
"Thank you Padawan, the council will discuss this now." Vreik reaffirmed gently. With a sigh of defeat, Bastila slowly walked towards the door, glancing angrily at Revan as she did so.
"I want to talk to you Revan. You and I have much to discuss!" she thought down the bond at him.
"I know," He sent back. "I know you're angry Bastila but try to calm down. I'll be back soon."
Bastila walked quietly and with dignity out of the council room and Revan sighed with relief, even though her anger at him flowed still, down the bond and into him like liquid. The effort to control his own emotional baggage was becoming harder, but he had enough control at that moment to push away and ignore the assault from Bastila's own fluctuating emotional state.