The Dreams We Left Behind

by Melissa Ordesky

COMPLETE. Syaoran wasn’t brave enough to tell Sakura his feelings before he left for H.K. and is held captive by his family. Sakura is forced through a deadly test. Can Syaoran get to her in time?

2. Another of Touya's Jobs

~.~The Dreams We Left Behind ~.~

A Card Captor Sakura fic by Melissa Ordesky

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Disclaimer: Card Captor Sakura does not belong to me. Duh. PG-13 for bad words, mostly on Syaoran's part. Based on the anime.

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Last chapter: The play went ahead, despite the interruption, with some help from Eriol to smooth over memories. Touya knows pretty much everything about the cards, Sakura's father doesn't. Syaoran thinks he is a failure, and saw something at the very end that could potentially… be very bad indeed…

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Chapter Two - Another of Touya's Jobs…

I took another long moment to compose myself, and then sauntered out of the bathroom. Padding down the short corridor that led out outside, I opened the door, stepped outside and the cold air blasted against my face. I looked up…

…and what I saw made me freeze on the spot.

Oh, shit, my mind supplied eloquently.

-----

Syaoran

"I heard that thought, young man."

I tried not to wince outwardly at the cold, reproving voice my Uncle Tae was using. He was dressed in full ceremonial regalia, brandishing the Li clan staff that was a symbol of his current position as temporary leader of the clan, looking at me with narrowed eyes. Behind him was my mother, my sisters, Mei Ling's parents and a gaggle of assorted uncles I haven't really kept a record of over the years. Well, it's not my fault all of them have such similar names, and here I go again, trying to blame someone again!

"Sorry, Tae-sensei," I apologised, bowing as low as I could manage with my bruised ribs and other assorted injuries that decided to clamour for attention as soon as I moved awkwardly. I guess mother saw I was in pain, as she brushed past Tae brusquely, and slid gracefully over to me. Lightly resting one hand on my right hip, which was pretty bruised and knocked around in itself, she put one hand under my chin and looked me square in the eyes.

"Little wolf," she murmured, half under her breath, her eyes gentle and warm and everything I always remembered them to be. I faintly registered an unhappy Mei Ling being forced to join the unwelcome committee by a gaggle of female cousins I didn't even want to remember I had. "I think your time in Japan is not destined to stretch out any further."

I saw past the flowery words easily, but couldn't stop the hurt flashing into my eyes. Mother's face relaxed a little before steeling, and then I knew I was doomed. Once Li Yelan makes her mind up, her mind is made up. What could I do? I'm only fourteen, still a minor in the eyes of every government in the world.

"I understand," I said, as levelly as I could manage given the situation. I honestly didn't care if I was broadcasting my thoughts so emotionally as before, because if they could make sense of them, then they were welcome to translate them to me. The incoherent jumble of No, Sakura, Test, Failure ran in a mixed-up clutter around and around my head until I felt dizzy. Well, maybe the dizziness was from all the energy I used up.

"You have failed in the task we set you, Li Xiao Lang," Tae intoned thunderously. My stomach churned from the formal words as my mother stepped regretfully away and Tae advanced, stomping the staff with every step he made. This was the formal admonishment as recorded in the journals. I felt absolutely wretched. My heart felt like a stone in my chest, and I was glad I hadn't eaten much recently (except for some candy floss from the fair) as my stomach was doing cagey flip-flips with the agility of a world gymnastics champion.

"From now until your coming-of-age, you are bidden to stay only on Li soil. You will relinquish use of your magic until this time. You will continue your studies in order to become a leader from within."

Tae's voice stayed on one level throughout the awful words. Leader from within. Huh. Nothing more than work and give the money to the household (not that I begrudged this at all!) and make a random decision every now and again as to what colour the toilet roll should be.

But I deserved nothing less. Not only had I lost the Clow Cards from our family, I had… God, the list was absolutely endless. I was embarrassingly close to the new Card Mistress. Oh, sure, Sakura was to be revered in their eyes, but… she was to be respected, and nothing more. Association with a half-blood like her was supposedly unthinkable to any member of the Li clan, especially with a half-blood who had 'stolen' our heritage. I, of course, was scum because I couldn't reclaim the cards. I wanted to tell them to argue with Keroberus, but this was what I deserved. Being sent to Coventry is the way the English put it. Being thought of as a failure to your whole family and consequently ignored and shunted aside and not talked to is the long-winded way of saying it.

"We leave tomorrow morning." Mother broke in this time, her head held up high, her eyes sliding over me as if I was no-one, a nobody. "You will have no contact with anyone. You will come with us, and never speak of this place again."

"I understand," I said, a little feebler this time, hoping they would attribute it to my lack of energy and not my despondency that this was happening. I walked forwards automatically, keeping my gaze averted from Tae as was custom, and managed to glimpse Mei Ling looking at me sadly before the world stumbled beneath my feet and quickly shifted into shadow.

.....

"Argh!"

Okay, so maybe mornings aren't my best time of the day. In the past I have pretended that morning is my best time of day, merely to piss off Sakura as much as possible, but mornings. Ack.

Mornings while regaining own consciousness, double ack.

Mornings while regaining own consciousness while remembering that I'll never be able to see Sakura ever ever ever again. Ack. Ack. Ack. Add some craps in there, and it's close to the daze I'm feeling right now.

I looked around the room slowly. It was white, meaning a hotel of some kind, and I already noticed my bags neatly packed on the foot of the bed. They must have been dragged from Tomoyo's house sometime yesterday. I'd been dressed in a nightshirt, and I stumbled sleepily to my feet. I noticed an en-suite bathroom, so I managed to get over there to wash my face and brush my teeth before I lurched back over to the bed. Unzipping my bag, I pulled out the top items, obviously placed there to be handy.

Shrugging off the nightshirt, I slipped into the clothes, not bothering with a shower. If my relatives were shipping me home in disgrace, I may as well go as dirty as the pig they think I am. Folding the nightshirt and laying it on top of the other clothes in the bag, I gratefully noticed the costume that Tomoyo had made for me amongst the clothes. I know it sounds pathetic, but having a little bit of my life in Japan with me… well, okay, yes, something to remember Sakura by…

It was important. I resolved never, ever, to let that costume be washed or taken away from me.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not normally a sentimental guy, but… this I needed. Thinking your family is about to screw your whole life up is different to it actually happening. The only life I wanted was here. Ideally with Sakura, but then, I couldn't really ask for the impossible, could I? Just being in the same school as her would have been nice, even if we weren't allowed to talk…

Who am I trying to kid? It must be the fainting spell talking, because I sure as hell know that these are stupid pipedreams. Impossible, even if I could get my clan to listen to them. This is the future they have decided for me, at least for the next four years…

That was the only bright light on the horizon. They couldn't legally keep me past my eighteenth birthday, magically perhaps, but legally… I sighed heavily. But could I give up my responsibility to my family for some idea of freedom?

It sounded easy in my head, but I doubt it's that simple when you get right down to it.

There was a timid rap on my door, and a wavering female voice came through. "Syaoran, are you dressed yet?"

I knew Mei Ling was alone by the fact she used the Japanese form of my name. "Yes," I answered quickly, and Mei Ling quickly slipped the door open and slid in. She looked sombre in a traditional Mandarin outfit in a dark navy, and her hair was unnaturally pulled back into a tight, high ponytail. It made her look older, and sadder.

"This is so bad," Mei Ling said, voicing my own thoughts. "A charm alerted us when you came to from your fainting spell. I wanted to sit with you until you woke up, but-"

I cut her off with a quick wave of my hand as I plonked my unsteady limbs down on the bed. "It's okay. I know the rules as well as you do. I just don't seem to be able to follow the majority of them."

Mei Ling smothered a small laugh, which I suspected wasn't a laugh that contained much mirth at all. "Heh. Falling in love with the girl who 'stole' the grand Li clan heritage. Not the smartest move you've ever made, I'll admit." Mei Ling's voice sarcastically stretched the word stole, and it took me a long second to realise what she had said.

"Falling in-" I said hurriedly, raking one hand through my hair, trying to make it as messy as possible. "I- I-" Wild, I stared at her. "I-"

"Don't try and deny it, Syaoran," Mei Ling said softly, her dark eyes soft with concern. She put her hand on one of mine. "Being in Japan has taught you so many things. Do not be quick to dismiss these things when we're back in H.K. Having your emotions on hand isn't such a bad thing as they tried to teach us, you know."

"I-" I guess I wanted to try and deny what Mei Ling had said, but I was over denying the truth. "It wasn't very smart a move, was it?" I said ruefully.

Mei Ling reached over and ruffled my hair, grinning impishly. "Nope. I'm glad you broke off our engagement though, Little Wolf." I let that one slide. "I could never be with someone who couldn't return my love."

I smiled weakly at her. "Thank you for being so understanding."

"What else am I supposed to be?" She thumped my shoulder clumsily, and I noticed the wetness in her eyes. I suppose it was the first time I ever let myself think how the whole thing had affected her. Mei Ling had made many friends in Japan, and had thought for much of her life that she was going to marry me. She stood up to leave, and threw a casual look at me. "Be down in the vestibule in ten minutes. We leave in fifteen."

I nodded wordlessly as she turned to properly leave. "Wait!" I looked up at her, pleadingly. "I- I'm sorry. You know, for… making them drag you away too. For breaking off the-"

"I know. I'll heal, Xiao Lang. So will you, in time. If it's necessary." Mei Ling looked at me fiercely. "If I can do anything to help, swear you will ask me first. Okay?"

I nodded again. "I swear."

Mei Ling turned and didn't look back as she exited the room. I stared at her retreating back and then at the door, before putting the green slippers by the door on and shouldering the pack. Crossing over to the window, I pushed aside the curtains and let my gaze linger across the beautiful view. The sun was shining, making Tokyo gleam with it. I thought I could see Sakura's house, twinkling in the distance, but I couldn't be sure. Down on the street below, I could see cars lined up in front of the hotel, and one of my cousins chatting up one of the bellboys. Cherry blossom carpeted the path, in a thick blanket of the soft petals which reminded me so much of Sakura. Cherry blossoms by name, cherry blossoms by nature.

Sakura. I love you.

I willed the thought to cross the great divide between us. I willed time to stop, reverse, so I could let her know my feelings. I willed her to appear, to make this pain just go away, like it did whenever she was near.

'Sakura.' I spoke her name silently, my breath ghosting into fog on the window, fixing my eyes on what I thought was her house, until the emotional pain in my chest grew too much and I flung myself away, storming out of the room and refusing to cry.

I pressed the button for the lift and waited for it to come. When it arrived, there was a short man inside in a red uniform similar to the bellboy's uniform I saw from the window. He raised one eyebrow at me questioningly as I stepped into the lift, and I realised immediately that I didn't know exactly where I was going. "Um-" I said, rather eloquently. "I was told to- uh- go to the vestibule?"

The man clucked impatiently. "You mean the ground floor, sir." His voice was patronising and he pressed the button to the ground floor with aplomb. I fidgeted, resisting the urge to run as soon as the lift hit the ground floor, try and find a back exit, escape my relatives and then…

And then what, Xiao Lang, I thought furiously to myself, live your life as a fugitive? You'd be just as far away from Sakura as ever. This would be the first place they'd look, and you know it.

I knew it. I knew it so badly it physically hurt.

The lift stopped, jerking to a halt, and I thanked the man as I quickly vacated it, walking as neutrally as I could over to where my sisters were standing. Fei Mei handed me my shoes, and their expressions were warm. I expect they were subdued because I was in disgrace, but their faces told me they cared. I quickly shucked off the slippers and put my own shoes on, being very careful not to look around. If I saw anyone I knew, I swear I was going to break down.

"Are you ready to go?"

I couldn't look up at the brisk male voice, and nodded curtly. I felt Fan Ren and Fuu Tei both gently squeeze my shoulder as they passed me, and I walked behind them outside. The mild cold of the outside hit me as we left the heady warmth of the hotel. Cherry blossoms breezed idly past my face, as if Japan was finding a final way to mock me, and I climbed into the taxi on the order of one of my cousins with a heavy heart.

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Touya

"I really, really, really love my job."

I stared at Rikku, and she muffled her giggles with the back of one red sleeve.

"Huh," I said, squinting at her. Weirdo.

This was probably the dumbest job in the long line of part time jobs I've been handed by the agency. Turn up at the depot on Monday, they tell you where you're gonna spend this week and off you go, happy as Larry, whoever the hell Larry is. Sometimes I wonder whether the jobs I'm assigned are part of a secret joke by the universe, as over the last couple of years Sakura has ended up visiting a lot of the places I've been working. Maybe it's part of this whole Clow Card deal she has going on. I partly lied before, letting them assume that Kaho had told me everything about what was going on. She had given me the barebones, and I'd watched Sakura as carefully as possible to put the rest of the jigsaw into order. I was actually a little hazy as to why Tomoyo insisted on the ridiculous costumes, but I think I get the gist of events.

I knew, though, that Sakura would be at home all day, on account of her having a big exam next week in algebra, so there was no chance of there being a goofy or mysterious reason for me being here.

Something tugged at my arm, and I rolled my eyes and stared balefully at the petite brunette in the red trouser suit next to me. Rikku had her hair tied up in meatballs with red ribbon, and was tapping a blue ballpoint pen on her clipboard in a quirky rhythm which somehow resembled the rhythm of Rubber Ducky.

Hooooooookay.

I've traded jobs which have ended up on some level as babysitting for Sakura to one with a crazy, crazy, insane person.

"Toooooooooouuuya," Rikku whined. I stopped staring and merely shrugged. "Seriously. This has gotta be the best part time job ever. I mean, how many fourteen year olds to you expect to pass through here at once?"

"Don't jinx it, Ri," I said, wrinkling my nose. "You watch, several grade 9 classes will walk through right now because you said those words."

Rikku pulled down one lower eyelid with one finger and stuck her tongue out at me. "Grouchy-pants," she muttered in a loud stage whisper. "Just 'cause red isn't your colour…"

"Insults and calling me grouchy-pants. Ladies and gentlemen, I think we've got ourselves a fourteen year old right here…" I smirked, and blew irritably at the dark strands of hair trying to cover my eyes. I really have to get a hair cut, I thought idly for the fiftieth time that day.

"Na, na, na. I think we got ourselves two, over there." Rikku raised her eyebrows and gestured with her pen at the checking-in desk. I groaned inwardly.

"Oh, crap." I scowled. "Look, I'm going to go skulk over there. You deal with them, okay?"

"Family members, huh?" Rikku tilted her head on one side and looked up at me with questions fluttering in her blue eyes. I ignored her shameless attempt at getting me to spill, and started walking away.

"Call me if you need me," I said, tossing the words over my shoulder and crossing over to skulk outside one of the bookshops, resisting the urge to look back and check what the brat and his friend were up to now.

-----

Rikku

Trust Touya to creep off like that! Shirking off the small amount of work we actually do get! Sheeeesh.

Quickly pushing a stray lock of hair behind my ear, I strode purposefully over to the large group of people within which I spotted a few likely candidates. One tall, very beautiful woman inclined her head towards me and smiled, and I don't know why, but somehow I instantly felt very peaceful. I smiled back, for once the expression genuine, and bowed.

"Hello, madam. My name is Aino Rikku, and I'm part of Revision Express, a line of revision papers and test exams for fourteen year olds taking their exams in Japan or China. If you have any fourteen year olds in your party, I would like to request five minutes of their time to fill in a questionnaire, you know, name, subjects studied, where they've studied, how they like it, what they'd like help on… and in return they will receive a full set of English, Maths and Science papers, no charge what-so-ever."

The beautiful woman considered my words, and pushed forwards one of the girls I'd thought maybe a little older. She was wearing a very pretty blue outfit, and her hair was pulled back in a severe ponytail. "This is Mei Ling. I'm sure we can spare her for five minutes."

Mei Ling smiled briefly at me, then looked questioningly at the woman. "Yelan-senpai. Can Xiao Lang come with me? If they need my last school's address, I am not sure of it…"

I watched inquisitively as an old man of about sixty wearing very heavy ceremonial robes and carrying a heavy ornate staff frowned.

"He cannot get into trouble," the beautiful woman - Yelan, obviously - murmured to the old man, and the man nodded his head. Yes! Consent! Brilliant!

I nodded towards the red stand in the middle of the large room. "We can fill the forms in over there. Visible from every corner of this area." I added that last statement to calm the party down. Boy, it was a large party, and a lot of them looked remarkably similar. Must be a large family or something, I reflected.

I walked over to the stand, beaming encouragingly at Mei Ling and the boy - Xiao Lang - and leant against the table. "Right, Mei Ling. You've got to-"

"That's not what I came over here for," Mei Ling said abruptly, startling me. Xiao Lang looked startled too, and he opened his mouth to speak, closing it after a sharp look from her. "You work with that boy over by the bookstore?"

I nodded slowly, uncomprehending. "Yes, his name is-"

"Kinomoto Touya," Mei Ling said briskly. "Look, we don't have much time. Syaoran here's being sent back to Hong Kong without being able to say goodbye to a.. very special person." I looked across at the boy to see him turn a very interesting shade of red. "The thing is, our family's very strict. This could be our only chance. You see, she's Touya's sister. I was wondering if Syaoran could write a note, and you could give it to Touya to give to Sakura." She looked at me pleadingly. "Please. You're our only hope."

I looked from her, to the boy, to the strict family, and then to Touya, lounging stiffly but alert by the bookstore. I looked back across at the family, and something about the old man with the staff's stiff expression helped me make a snap decision. I passed the clipboard over to Mei Ling first.

"Pretend you're filling in the details," I said, trying to make my mouth move as little as possible. "When you get to the last school address, pass it over. You, Syaoran, Xiao Lang, formulate what you want to write while Mei Ling is pretending to fill in the form."

"Thank you," the boy murmured, obviously trying to fight down the blush on his face so as to not look suspicious. Mei Ling took her time on the form, frowning and chewing on the end of the pen until she got a small nod from the boy.

"Syaoran," Mei Ling said, suddenly and loudly. I tried not to look too emotional. Being ripped away from your friend without being able to say goodbye is a very harsh thing to do to a fourteen year old. I didn't like his family very much, and normally I like everyone. "Your directions are stiff and confusing!" I wondered why her voice had increased in volume but realised it was in case any of their family was listening in. "Here." She pushed the clipboard and pen across to Syaoran, who instantly blushed again. He bent his head over the paper, scribbling furiously and handed the pen and pad back to Mei Ling hurriedly as if it was on fire. Mei Ling inhaled suddenly at the words, and quickly pretended to fill in the rest of the form.

"Um," Syaoran said quickly, and I looked up. The old man was heading over here with a rather furious expression. I'd thought he looked mean before, now I thought he looked evil. I whipped the clipboard away from Mei Ling with a grin, and pushed two plastic bags full of the exam papers at her. Mei Ling took them.

"Thank you. So much," she said, bowing low and speaking her words with true fervour.

"My pleasure. Revise well, now," I said politely. "Give the second set to whomever you want. Have a good journey now, sir," I finished, the last sentence directed to the old man. He glowered at me darkly, and ushered the two teenagers away, Syaoran a little firmer than Mei Ling. I watched quietly as the whole clan disappeared through the boarding gates, and I exhaled slowly. Picking up the clipboard, I looked slowly at the writing, and my breath caught in my throat.

Oh, poor kid, ripping him away from this… I was right; his family was evil. I felt tears prick at my eyes, and was startled by a large hand on my shoulder.

"Are you all right?" Touya was all seriousness now, as he levelled a concerned glance at me. "The brat give you much cheek?"

"N-no," I stammered. "He's being shipped off home, Touya, without letting him say goodbye to his friends or anything."

"What?" Touya's eyes went round. "I don't like him, but that's harsh. Sakura's going to be devastated… Couldn't he have given her message? Phoned her?"

"I don't think they let him. They sure look mean," I said.

Touya shrugged. "They're rich, and powerful. Some people think that's an automatic passport to treating the rest of us like mud."

"Anyway. The girl - Mei Ling - explained it hurriedly to me, and I let the boy write a note on the form." I looked up at Touya tentatively. "They asked me to give it to you to give to your sister."

"The kid has some sense," Touya said briskly, taking the form as I offered it to him. I watched as he read the note, the letters getting more and more messy as they had been written. His face tightened, then relaxed, and he stared for a long second at the doors the boy and his family had disappeared through. "So they're practically kidnapping him…" His voice was soft, almost regretful as he folded up the form and put it in his pocket.

"I think you should go," I said, the usual gaiety in my voice muffled to a solemn tone. "Go home. Give her this. She needs to know. I have no idea what the first two things mean, but the third…" I looked up at Touya, worried. "Go. I'll lie to our superiors."

Touya looked at me, appreciation evident on his face. "Thanks, kid. I owe you one."

"Don't call me kid," I called as he set off on a jog towards the exit, before adjusting the next form on my clipboard and starting to look for my next victim. The front doors gaped open a few seconds after Touya had receded infinitely into the distance, and a huge group of ninth graders skipped through.

I put my shoulders back, plastered a very fake smile on my face, and went to face the swarm of the little devils.

-----

Sakura

Grrrrrrr. I was getting more and more frustrated by the second. Tomoyo wasn't in, Mei Ling wasn't answering her mobile phone, and I couldn't get Syaoran on the communicator Tomoyo gave him from her mother's factory. The agency Touya works for said he was home sick, which confused the hell out of me, because I was home and he was not, so unless it was a new fangled invisible-sickness, confusion was all that was on the menu. Dad wasn't at the university, I called and asked the office, but was out to lunch. Out to lunch! Dad never goes out to lunch, unless it's a business lunch, and it isn't really the season for those. He normally has his business lunches in late July, when trying to secure funding for his work, not June. I even tried Chiharu's house, but she was at hospital, which was kind of bad because I had no way of getting there, Yukito's place, but his answer phone was on, and Naoko was out at the library.

I know it sounds pathetic, but I really could have done with someone being in. None of the electricity was working, and I was cold, and tired, and hungry. The freezer was busy defrosting, along with quite a few ready meals and frozen meat and vegetables, and the TV was smoking in the corner. Who knew that TVs blew up when the electricity stopped working? I'd put the fire out with the carbon dioxide fire extinguisher Touya had brought home one day, having 'liberated' it from the college in protest at the number of computers they were taking away.

Blindly stolen, really, but how many people are willing to protest against six-foot-three-inches of pure meanness A.K.A. Kinomoto Touya, my brother?

I guess I was restless because I'd spent too much time in bed. Kero was still asleep, bless him, murmuring random things about chocolate and pie and cake and Suppi under his breath and snoring like a train on helium. I was still pretty tired, but my injuries were healing rapidly. I still couldn't quite get over the enormity of what had happened yesterday. I really needed to talk it through with someone who would understand, but I could hardly ask Yukito to become Yue again so soon, and Kero only talks about himself whenever there's been a battle for at least three days.

I was suddenly struck by inspiration, and leant over the edge of the sofa to grab the phone again, from where I'd sullenly dropped it when learning no one was home. I thought furiously, and jabbed in Eriol's overseas number, remembering the extension this time. Last time I had tried to call Eriol, I'd ended up with Terada-sensei, and being horribly embarrassed. Thankfully he knows I'm one of the few students who wouldn't abuse the knowledge, so I promised I would always put in the extension number at the beginning.

I listened into the phone, and got an engaged tone. "Grrrrrr," I said out-loud, the paralinguistic growl sounding flat in the small room. I glared evilly at the television again, wondering if our insurance covered acts of God, and was relieved when the bell went.

Slamming the phone back into the cradle, I walked to the door as fast as my aching legs would let me. I wished I was better, and I could do some gymnastics or go blading or something.

I opened the door to a breathless looking Touya, who sauntered past me as if I wasn't there, and a timid Tomoyo, who looked at me with a very intense expression. She was worried. Whatever it was, it was bad.

"Sakura," Touya said softly.

"Wow, so you didn't have some invisible sickness," I commented in relief. Touya glanced at me, then glanced at the smoking remains of the TV and the used fire extinguisher.

"WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?"

I winced, and Tomoyo looked worriedly at the mess. "The electric went wacky, and the TV exploded," I explained. "I've been trying to ring everyone on the mobile phone, but I couldn't get anywhere, and your work said you'd been sent home sick."

Touya muttered something that sounded somewhat like 'God bless Rikku' under his breath. Shaking his head slowly, he looked around our house slowly.

"Everything in the freezer's melting," I added, looking confusedly from Tomoyo to Touya. "And-"

"That's not the main issue here," Tomoyo said, interrupting me. It startled me. Tomoyo is normally a quiet, introverted girl (unless you get her on a topic she loves - like clothes design - and then you can't shut her up) and rarely interrupts anyone.

"What's wrong?" I asked urgently.

"Maybe you'd better sit down," Touya said, phrasing the order politely as he used his hands to steer me fully into the sitting room and plant me in one of the armchairs.

"Touya, Tomoyo, tell me. What's going on?" I looked at them fiercely. "Is it dad? Is it about the cards? Has the town not fully reappeared? Is someone missing? Is-"

"Syaoran's family have pulled him back to Hong Kong," Tomoyo said, interrupting my sharply again. Her voice was louder than usual, brisk, but full of melancholy.

"They thought he was a failure, and have grounded him until he dies, from the best I could make of the situation," Touya said softly, looking at me with darkened eyes. "Not allowed to say goodbye. Most especially to you."

I clasped a hand to my mouth, staring at them both hollowly. "But- but I need him! He, he, I can't look after the cards on my own, he- I- They don't know how useful and necessary he is! I've got to- I don't know, but I-" I was glad they'd told me to sit down. This was terrible! How could they take him away! Didn't they know how much he'd done??? Instantly I came up with a zillion plans, each crazier than the last. I could use Fly to get to Hong Kong, and kidnap him. I could use the Create card to make a copy of him to send in his place. I could I could I could…

"Mei Ling managed to engineer a situation where he could scribble you a quick note," Touya continued, while Tomoyo moved quietly over to join me on the large armchair, putting one hand gently on my knee. I felt like crying. I felt like screaming. I wanted to read the note, however quickly it was written. "I've honestly debated whether or not to give it to you."

I stared wildly at him, feeling as if someone had pulled the floor away and left me falling through the stars with no net to catch me, nothing to break my fall. I was touched by Touya's brutal honesty, knowing it was hurting him to potentially hurt me. "Please," I said briefly, holding out my hand.

"He's a very brave kid," Touya said distractedly, fiddling in one of his pockets. He was wearing the bright red of one of those survey people that normally trawl the city centre, and I realised he must have come straight from work to tell me. He pulled out a piece of paper that looked like one of the questionnaires, and held it forwards timidly.

I took it, my heart beating a rat-a-tat­ rhythm against my rib cage, my vision swimming slightly. I got to my feet and cross over to the other side of the room, leaning against the door frame as I opened the paper. The floor swam away again, and the tears that had been threatening to fall all day started to dribble down my cheeks. I felt like a toddler, screwing up my face and clinging onto the note with my hand as if it was my very last Clow card or something…

Warm arms suddenly wrapped themselves around my shoulders, and I leant into Touya's shoulder, my tears soaking his red jacket unashamedly. I wept for a few minutes, frantically thinking things like ohgodohgodohgod and wishing I had had the courage to tell him… To tell him what I had barely had the courage to admit to myself.

I pulled away from Touya eventually, scrubbing at my cheeks with my sleeve and looking hopelessly across to Tomoyo. She looked concerned.

"What did the note say?" Tomoyo asked gently, as if her words could break me. I sniffed loudly, and managed to sink onto the arm of one of the chairs, feeling Touya hover by my shoulder as if to catch me if I tumbled off. He must have read the note, else he wouldn't be so concerned for me.

I passed it over to her as if I was handing over my heart, and she took it tenderly, her fingers ghosting over the paper as she opened it. "To Sakura," she said lightly, reading the note out loud. I stared out the window as she spoke, knowing I needed to hear them said out loud, knowing I wouldn't believe them true unless I heard them like that. "I wish I had more time to write this. My family is forcing me back home as a failure. I have three important things to tell you that I wish I could say to you directly. 1) Test in 4 years. Kero will know. 2) Someone from my clan will be there, v. powerful, to make sure you fail." Tomoyo's voice faltered a little. "I suppose that means very powerful," she said, distractedly, before continuing to read the rest of the note. "3) I'm in love with you. Syaoran." Tomoyo folded the letter up again, and looked at me. "Oh, Sakura," she breathed.

I took the letter back from her as she offered it to me again, and opened it to look at the scribbled writing, getting even more frantic and disorganised as it meandered down the page. There was a blot of ink after the "3)", as if he had hesitated slightly before writing it down. It had to be the truth, but oh, it couldn't be, it couldn't be…

"Do you love him?"

I looked up at Touya, shocked at the question, fully intending to deny it. I nodded, and he murmured my name before crushing me into another embrace. I let the tears flood again, faintly aware that I was murmuring 'Syaoran, Syaoran, I'm so sorry' over and over again, but not caring. My whole world, the one that I had so barely saved yesterday morning, had flipped out from underneath me, and nothing could make it the same again.

Nothing.

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