Standard disclaimer applies.

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The Sound of Jasmine

By: Luna

Part Twelve: One side of the soul: Battle of the two hitokiri's

...

He's such a lame excuse for a man.

Here he kidnapped me from my home, started dragging me across Japan to Tokyo—all because he wanted to fight at a certain location? What a moron. I suppose he could have some other plan or reason why he took me this far... but I doubt it.

We went off the road a while back once we hit the city limits, and now all he is doing is sitting on that damn rock taking long drags of his smelly cigarette and staring off into space. Mou, when did I become such a potty mouth? Sano must be wearing off on me more than I thought.

But what was he planning, anyway?

My hands were tied quite tightly in front of me, and I was sitting inside a small shrine that he had placed me in, giving me a perfect view of what would be the battlefield. Except for the rock he was sitting on, the clearing was filled with nothing but dirt and grass. He had obviously planned this out for quite some time. But why? What reason? I did not understand, and I had a feeling I would only get my answers once or if Kenshin ever arrives.

The man, whom I have yet to learn his name, started laughing suddenly for no apparent reason, and my theory of him being a maniac became a solid fact in my mind. As if he felt my gaze on him, he turned to me with a grin and shook his head in what was almost wonderment. "He made it here faster than I expected."

My heart started to race, and I looked around the forest searchingly, trying to find a silhouette in the shadows. "He wont be here for a few minutes, so don't get too excited." He paused and cocked his head to the side, as if listening for something my ears couldn't detect. "And oh is he angry. Furious even." He laughed. "Oh, this is going to be grand. Just grand."

Crazy bastard. I thought with contempt.

"You're probably wondering why I brought you all the way over here, aren't you?" I couldn't tell if he was talking to me or not. "Well, just think about it for a moment. The feared Battousai suddenly disappears and nobody really knows why. A few weeks later, the Shinsen-gumi attacks, and the Ishin shishi's most needed assassin warrior is no longer there to defend his comrades. Ishin shishi is crushed. Survivors will come crawling back to regroup in hopes of once again becoming strong enough to go against the Shinsen-gumi and restore the emperor to his rightful place above one and all. What corpse do they find? Why, who knows at this point, since the body would be so decomposed that the only thing noticeable would be the faded red of his hair. Tragic, isn't it?"

His grin widened considerably. "Who knew the famed Battousai was so weak and selfish that he allowed himself to be charmed by a woman enough to leave his ideals and friends behind to come rescue her? I guess even killers like him have a romantic side to them. Isn't that right... Battousai?"

My heart literally jumped up into my throat as I watched him step from the shadows and into the clearing, his body taunt with rage, his head bowed enough so that his bangs hid his eyes.

Something was wrong. He didn't even look up at me.

He calmly started walking out of the shadows, more into the middle of the clearing and closer to the man. His mouth was set in a straight line, his jaw tight, his fists clenched, and his body as tight as a bow. He didn't speak once.

Yes... something was definitely wrong, and I had a feeling that something happened to him while he was following the man, something that would forever change the course of my life more than it already had now that he was in it. A needle pricked my heart, and I felt it slowly start to bleed as Kenshin continued to act as if I wasn't even there.

Slowly, ever so slowly, he raised his eyes to the man sitting on the rock casually grinding his cigarette into the ground. I felt my face pale suddenly, and I forced myself not to look away.

His eyes... dear kami, his eyes...

... Kenshin...

"Welcome Battousai. My name is Udo Jinei. You ready to die yet?" If it had been anybody else and I was not listening very closely, I would have thought he was talking about the weather. He stood up and straightened, his grin never faltering from his face.

Kenshin didn't say anything, only angled his head slightly to look behind Jinei, his flat golden eyes finally landing themselves on me. I couldn't even summon the strength to smile at him. I only stared, silent and shaken, because for once, I felt myself scared of him. But I was also worried, and for the life of me, I couldn't beckon my voice to speak. My heart bled even more.

I may be able to hide my feelings from Jinei, and perhaps from everyone else, but not Kenshin... never Kenshin...

He looked away without a change in his expression, once again tilting his head enough so his bangs hid his eyes expression. Like they needed to anyway, for even I, untrained as I am in sensing a man or persons ki could feel the animosity and hatred rolling off him in waves. "You will regret this, you know." Kenshin's silent voice broke the sudden stillness that had spread across the clearing. Jinei blinked, as if not expecting him to speak, then shrugged carelessly. "So will you, I bet."

Will Kenshin regret coming for me? If what Jinei said was true, is Kenshin regretting his actions? In my heart, I hoped he was.

If he willingly left his comrades for a selfish quest, then I would no longer be willing to let him stay with me. Sure it was true that I loved him, always would, but I would no longer respect him. One life is not worth hundreds, and mine especially is no exception.

"Tell me who hired you, fool, before I kill you." Kenshin's voice was silent, but flat. Deadly.

"Now that wasn't very nice now was it?" Jinei taunted, seemingly unaffected by Kenshin, and the fatal danger he represented. "And I'm so sorry, but I'm under certain obligations by one who delivers that I must under no circumstances to tell you who he is. Oops, I gave you a clue already, didn't I?" He laughed. "I'm afraid I'm going to have to kill you. This opportunity is just too good to resist. Especially," He added. "Since I know your secret."

Jinei pulled out a pocket watch, flipping up the cover to look at the time. "Uhu. Midnight already. Our time to chat has run out." He clicked the watch shut, grinning almost deliriously. "It's the beginning of a wonderful moment."

Kenshin slowly unsheathed his katana, staring down at the blade that gleamed in the moonlight. He seemed to contemplate something, before he looked up and suddenly launched himself at Jinei. They clashed, trading blow for blow. Ten, twenty... I've lost count on how many clangs and screeches of steel hitting and sliding against each other. I reached my bound hands up and silently rubbed both of my ringing ears. Kenshin was on the offensive, attacking again and again with the deadly grace of a trained assassin and samurai.

I watched with bated breath, unable to do anything but watch and silently try to work out the knots that bound my hands together. I got some success, for the ropes loosened somewhat and feeling rushed back into my tingly hands.

With a final hit, the two men jumped apart, running in circles around each other, watching, waiting for an opening so they could strike their opponent in an unguarded area. Jinei moved first, coming in and striking Kenshin for just a moment before jumping back, and for a second, I swear I saw something move out of his crazed eyes.

Kenshin froze for a spilt instant before a loud growl escaped from his throat and he seemed to shake something invisible off of him, ignoring the wind that suddenly began to whip around him. "Useless!" He yelled out angrily. "That technique will not work on me!"

Jinei has stopped as well and started chuckling. "Nikaido Heihou... shin no ippo."

Kenshin's lips curled in disgust. "'One side of the soul'... also known as the Isukumi technique—paralyzing terror." His eyes had narrowed as he spoke. "You will not win a battle of wills with me, of that, I can assure you. Quit resorting to petty tricks and fight."

The grin on Jinei's face disappeared for once, a frown replacing it. His eyes were dark and considering. Finally, he shrugged. "Hey, can't blame a man for trying." The grin reasserted itself, and he crouched low.

Kenshin had explained to me briefly about his and other techniques, so I was able to follow along somewhat with what he was doing. And at the moment, I had a feeling Kenshin knew what attack Jinei was going to use.

The thought didn't comfort me as much as I thought it would.

My eyes narrowed as I read his movements.

First, one handed thrust!

I moved to the side easily. It was sad how little a challenge he really was to me; especially how easy his techniques were to follow.

((A/N Rickie-chan said that he got this from the manga, and I have no idea what ichnographically speaking means—it doesn't seem to be in the dictionary, but this is the definition given for this technique.))

The Nikaido Heihou is a style of three forms, represented by the kanji or "Chinese characters" for "one," "eight," and "ten." Ichnographically speaking the three join to create the "forced" character "hei" thus "Heihou"

His little magic trick, the "shin no ippo," is a technique used to paralyze one's opponent, but in truth it is nothing but a mind battle of wills. If that will is matched, the trick cannot work.

Jinei moved to form the "one" side swing, which I easily ducked and moved out of the way, from there, he went straight to "ten" the bamboo splitter which would have cut straight down the middle.

I maneuvered around and disrupted his line of attack, forcing him back a step. He jumped back, away from my sword and narrowly missed a slice that would have left him headless.

"You read my moves well, Battousai. That title definitely wasn't given to you for nothing. I see now that I cannot win by this approach." He grinned, tilting his head back so he looked down his nose at Kenshin. "But tell me... how would you like it if I did... this!" He yelled the last part, swinging his head around till he was looking at Kaoru, and she looked back at him in sudden confusion and alarm.

She gasped and froze, and my face felt suddenly drained of al color, and I felt my insides turn cold.

I couldn't move. In fact, I couldn't breath either. I gasped for breath, feeling my eyes water unwillingly and my face start to sweat. What the hell was going on? My lungs felt as if they were frozen, and a heavy weight was pressing steadily on my throat. Fear wrapped around my heart in icy tendrils, and I wanted to run away from this battle, from that man, and from this soon to be haunting memory.

... I couldn't breath...

"Khh...?"

... I couldn't speak...

"K..."

...oh god...

"!... ?"

I'm going to die... Kenshin! Please help me!

"Khh... hh..."

I wanted to call out his name, I wanted him to wrap his arms around me and comfort me, pulling away the restraints that were blocking my throat. "Kaoru!" I heard him call out, but I couldn't answer him. With unwanted tears leaking down my face, I blearily looked up and tried to focus my gaze on Kenshin.

His face was in a state of panic. In my opinion, anyway. His eyes were wide, his mouth slightly open, and I could see fear in his eyes. Fear for me.

And suddenly, I panicked.

I grabbed my throat in desperation, trying to massage my throat, get some feeling, get some air—something! My nails scraped the delicate skin of my throat, leaving bright red scratches wherever the tips of my nails landed. The skin almost immediately welted; I could feel it, but I paid no attention and kept scratching at my throat furiously. I hunched over, cradling my hands against my chest, my body shaking with the breaths I couldn't breath, but wanted to.

"Kaoru! Jinei—what have you done?" he demanded, his voice coming out like a growl from an angry beast.

With a grin, Jinei deftly flipped his sword around and rested the blade in the palm of his hand. "Oh, I just made my silly "trick" a bit more stronger on her. Enough... to stop her lungs."

Kenshin froze, and as I tried to force air in my lungs, my brow furrowed in confusion. Used what to stop my lungs? A trick? But how? It felt as though someone had wrapped his hands around my throat, squeezing harder and harder and harder...

Distantly, I heard Jinei speaking. "She will last two minutes, at most. Her will is obviously not strong enough to break my technique."

My will...? What was he talking about?

"It's a shame too. A beautiful thing like her dying in such a messy way... and here I was planning to have some fun with her afterwards." I heard, rather than saw his grin, for my eyes were locked onto Kenshin's, and they weren't leaving.

Kenshin bowed his head then, his fiery red bangs covering his eyes like he always did when he was angry.

And then... he disappeared. Just like that.

Even Jinei blinked, his eyes moving around, desperately trying to find Kenshin's form. Reappearing suddenly, he bashed the hilt of his sword into Jinei's face. Blood spurted from the wound, and with a startled noise coming up from somewhere in the back of his throat, he stumbled back. I watched with strangled breath, my eyes wide and watery. Kenshin... why didn't you kill Jinei?

"Ho... very good. This is just like I thought it would be. Grand. This fight is absolutely grand." He smirked, his crazed eyes alight with pleasure as he pushed his broken nose back straight.

Kenshin's eyes were narrowed into slits, the once bright amber of his eyes as flat and cold as stone. "Tell me how to break the spell on Kaoru, and I might consider killing you quickly."

"I'm afraid that's not possible. She can either break it herself or... die! What wonderful choices, aren't they?" I wanted to spit in his face, and with all the saliva collecting in my mouth, I wished he were closer so I could.

Kenshin's chest expanded as he breathed in a sigh. Then he closed his eyes, but his body stayed tense. Waiting.

"Don't close your eyes on me, Battousai!" Jinei yelled, launching himself at Kenshin.

Kenshin's eyes snapped open suddenly, a dark, sinister look and something I couldn't quite name shone deeply in his eyes. I would have gasped if I had breath to breath.

That look...

Jinei must have seen it too. That dark look etched deeply in his eyes, for his own crazed ones widened and he jumped to the side. He looked intently at Kenshin before grinning, a soft chuckle emanating from his throat.

This feeling...

Kenshin turned his head and glared. "Afraid? Why bother attacking, if you're too afraid to get near me?" Kenshin's cold voice, harder than tempered steel, was heard quietly in the frozen air.

For once, I wished the death of another. It was his fault I was going through with this, after all. If only I could breath...

Why wasn't he finishing Jinei off? Didn't he care that I was dying? And I was. My vision was turning almost completely black, and I was having trouble staying conscious. I was going to die soon, and I almost wished that as well. Anything... anything to make this horrible, painful feeling go away...

"Uhu... no, it's not fear that surprised me. It's only that I have come to a great realization. You are already losing your original purpose, aren't you? Tell me, doesn't the smell of blood exciteyou? Don't you revel in its taste? Its smell? Its texture? Don't you love its color?" Jinei sneered, the laugh that emerged from his throat sounded near hysterical.

Kenshin's mouth opened just a bit, and his eyes widened slightly. Jinei laughed harder. "Don't tell me you didn't realize? Even I could feel the bloodlust coming off of you! The bloodlust in your eyes... it's incredible! I bet you're just itching to rip me apart for what I did to your woman, aren't you? Welcome it, Battousai! Enjoy the killing! Just think—after awhile, you wont even feel theguilt anymore!"

My eyes widened, the tears running down my face unheeded. Suddenly, it all became clear to me.

That poor man...

I didn't think it was possible, but pricks of pity started to poke the edges around the blasted organ that was my heart. I couldn't believe it. Here this man was killing me and trying to kill Kenshin, and here I was, feeling sorry for him! Sano would have hit me upside my head, I know.

"Just think—after awhile, you wont even feel the guilt anymore!"

I was concentrating so much on trying to breath, while keeping tabs on the battle. Jinei's words clicked in my mind, and I suddenly realized... that...

It wasn't bloodlust that took over him. And it wasn't bloodlust that was taking over Kenshin.

It was madness.

Madness was the look I saw in his eyes, what I saw in Kenshin's eyes. Madness was what I saw teetering on the edge of his sanity that night so long ago, when Kenshin saw Sakura's inn burned down with her and her two children still inside. Madness was what he had been fighting that night I found him huddled in the corner of his room, the night he first held me in his arms.

I gasped sharply, breath escaping into my lungs, past the invisible barrier.

Oh no...

... Kenshin...

...My poor, darling Kenshin...

"Kill me Battousai! Kill me and let that feeling take over!" Jinei yelled again.

Jinei...

In order to help assuage his guilt of killing, he sold his soul to madness so he could continue killing, only... he got lost. Too much madness took over, and he switched sides against his original ideals so he could continue murder.

That poor, poor man...

Kenshin shook his head his head, as if clearing unwanted thoughts. "No. You are just a coward and were too weak to resist. Now tell me the truth—tell me how to break the spell you put on Kaoru."

Jinei looked over at me, a look of longing passing through his dark eyes. He shrugged. "I cant. Like I said, she must break it on her own or my will must be completely shattered. Of course, both are impossible. She is far too weak minded to break this one. And I..." he grinned. "I shall be invincible." He held his sword in front of him, and I dizzily tried to keep watch. But my vision was failing me. My head felt like it was exploding, and my heart felt like it was being squeezed. Though my throat was frozen, it burned with the need for oxygen. I needed air!

Kenshin's lip curled slightly. "Then... I will just have to kill you. No loss, as far as I am aware." Though he didn't make any outward movements besides the curling of his lips, his eyes narrowed and were intently watching Jinei's movements.

Jinei spoke as he stared down at the gleaming metal of his sword. "People are so vulnerable to suggestion. If we believe we are sick, our bodies fail. If we believe we can't breath, we suffocate! And that is the power... of shin no ippo! It makes one believe... and the body responds!"

All at once, it all made sense. ((she's a thinker, isn't she? ))

Somehow, he made me believe that I couldn't breath; that somebody was suffocating me; choking me to death. That one moment when I spotted Kenshin's madness, I forgot all about that suffocating feeling, my thoughts completely on Kenshin. I forgot for that one moment, and I could breath. But when I focused on that single breath, those invisible fingers were once again squeezing.

If that were the case...

I closed my eyes, focusing my will into breathing. I could breath. I just had to believe I could. I brought my bound hands and felt my throat, my fingers tracing where I felt those imaginary fingers, and my fingertips brushed against nothing but the smoothness of my skin and the thin welting lines I inflicted upon myself.

See? I told myself. There's nothing there. No one is trying to kill me. My throat loosened up, and I smiled as sweet breath rushed into my burning lungs. I bowed my head a bit, working on my hands and trying to loosen the knot even more than I already had. With some force, I squeezed one out , blocking the sounds of the battle as I used my free hand to release the other.

I opened my eyes slightly and slipped out of the shrine as a bright light filled the clearing. As I drifted off into the woods behind the small shrine, I caught Jinei's words. "Even for the master—it is so!" Did he use the technique on himself? I did not care. Even he said that he could not win the battle so, confident that Kenshin would win, I did not look back as I disappeared into the shadows.

I don't think either of them noticed my departure.

I stumbled blindly for a moment, my eyes still seeing black spots and my head a dizzy mess. But I followed the sound of water, desperate to splash some cold fresh water onto my face.

I fell to my knees once I reached the shore of a creek, leaning down and cupping water with my hands. After splashing my face a few times, I took gasping breaths and stared at myself in the waters reflection, again ignoring the sound of clashing swords in the distance, and immersing myself in the weakness called self-pity and deprecation

Why me?

What was so special about me that made Kenshin go against orders and come after me? surely it wasn't my looks that was for sure, for I knew myself to be quite plain. Then it must be because... I sighed.

He was a fool.

He left so many of people to their deaths all to save one insignificant person. He should not have took the chance to trade all their lives for mine! Did he purposefully want me to feel the heavy weight of guilt their deaths placed on my shoulders? I would now have to live with the fact that because of me, so many lives would be lost.

A crunching of leaves was heard behind me, and instinctively I knew it to be Kenshin. As I stared down into the water, his reflection was shown behind me. His were soft as he too stared down into my eyes from the waters reflection. he had a small scratch on his face, the opposite side from where he had his cross shaped scar, but other than that, i did not see anyother injuries.

"You fool." I whispered harshly, closing my eyes and bowing my head so that my bangs shadowed my eyes. "You fool! How could you do this to me? How could you leave your comrades behind just because of me? People are going to die because of me!" My hands were in front of me in the mud, and I slowly clenched them into fists, mud oozing from between my fingers. "How could you make such a horribly selfish choice? I am not worth the lives of others! I'm not worth anything! How could you do that?" My voice ended on a pitiful sob, and tears I thought I no longer had started to well up in my eyes.

I felt and heard him drop to his knees behind me and grasp my forearms, jerking me around roughly. I gasped, the tears I had fought to stay in fell, and I had no choice but to look into his eyes.

"Don't you say that! Don't you ever say that again! You're worth everything, dammit! Everything! Don't realize that? You're worth everything to me!" He spoke so fiercely and with such passion, I could only stare up at him in amazement, for it was the most emotion I had seen him express so clearly.

He grasped me by my shoulders and yanked me to his chest, one arm wrapping around the small of my back, his hand clenching the fabric of my kimono tightly, and his other arm was wrapped tightly around my shoulders and holding my head tucked under his chin. His nose buried itself in my neck, and under my cheek and through the fabric of his gi, his heart thundered wildly.

"You are worth every sacrifice, Kaoru." He spoke softly, quietly, and gravely. I felt the words rumbling from his chest, and I rubbed my cheek where his heart was and instinctively snuggled closer so his warmth could penetrate through my weary bones. "When I went looking for you and found his note... when I realized he took you away from me... I went crazy. I go crazy without you, koishi. I couldn't let you die."

Though a well of happiness was bubbling up inside of me at his words, tendrils of despair rose with it. "But Kenshin," I whispered, my muddy hands carelessly coming up to his chest and tightly clenching in his gi. "No life is more important than any other. A life is a life, and nobody should have that precious gift taken away from them."

He was silent for a moment, and him being a hitokiri, I thought that those might have been the wrong words to speak. "But I couldn't lose you, Kaoru. I won't be able to stand losing another woman I care about." He murmured, his voice tight.

I gasped softly. He was talking about his deceased wife, Tomoe... Was he saying he is in love with me too? I shook my head once. "But Kenshin... what about your ideals? What have you beenfighting for? Do you even remember?"

"Yes," He murmured. "I remember."

"Then don't let yourself forget." I pulled back slightly, looking up pleadingly into his eyes. "Your ideals mean everything to you, Kenshin. Don't throw them away just for me." Don't let all those deaths by your hands be for nothing.

His eyes told me he understood, but he shook his head anyway. "I would. You mean everything to me, Kaoru, and I would sacrifice everything just to keep you." He pulled me back to his chest, his hand idly stroking my hair. "Remember those words, Koi. They're not ones I will repeat often." He sighed. "I know what I'm doing, and I refuse to let you die while I fight a battle that won't even be taking place."

My brows furrowed in confusion at his words, but I shook my head. I was stubborn, dammit, and I wasn't going to go down that easily. "Ten lives are more important than one. Twenty are more important than two. Don't forget what you're fighting for Kenshin. And if it means going against orders and endangering your comrades, do not rescue me again."

His arms tightened around me as he settled back more comfortably on his haunches. "I'm afraid I can't do that. I will always rescue you. Besides, the Ishin Shishi already moved out and are heading towards Kyoto. There will not be a battle and people will not get killed."

He cupped my jaw with one calloused hand, tilting my face up to his. Before I could react, his mouth settled over mine. His thumb pressed down at the corner of my mouth until I opened up to him, losing myself in sensation. His mouth slanted over mine and he greedily drank up what I offered. I felt his hands through my kimono, and I groaned softly in pleasure. Reluctantly, he pulled back, resting his forehead against mine and breathing harshly.

"Come on, Kaoru." He said hoarsely. "We need to get back."

Helping me to my feet, he led me into town where we would stay the night at an inn before heading back home. I held his hand tightly in mine, glad for night sky obscuring the tears streaming down my face.

My time with Kenshin was over, and it was time I opened my eyes to the dream I had been foolishly living.

That night when we made camp under a huge oak tree, when I closed my eyes to sleep, I closed the door to my heart. Locking the tiny key away somewhere safe so that, when I awoke that one fateful evening with Kenshin's room empty, I will be able to force myself not to cry.