Sword-chan- Kay, now that Saiken is done I can work on the last two chapters of… SWORD AND KISHUUS POTION CLASS! How to make a shitty fanfic and a good one! MWAHAHAHA!!! I be mashing two into one chapter! MWAHAHA!!!
Kishuu- Whaddo I hafta do so I do NOT get humiliated at the end of the last chapter?
Sword-chan- THERE IS NO WAY AROUND MY WRATH! MWAHAHA!! :: goes insane with power ::
Kishuu- u.u Great.
Sword-chan- You made a great Anastasia, though
Kishuu- And you made a great—
Sword-chan- NO I DON'T! :: smile :: Yall just have to wait!!
X.x.X- How To Make A SHITTY FANFIC! -X.x.X
Sword-chan- Excuse moi's french above. Anyways… we start with- PRECAUTIONS!
Pre-Cautions- :: speak very quickly :: Iamnotresponsileforanyflames,deletionsofficcy,threataningemailsand/orrandomvoodoodollsofyousuddenly!
Mwahaha. Anywho, that should cover any legal issues! And, for the record, let's say I own Kishuu and his soul. Let's just see what happens. Maybe, if I get sued enough, Ikumi and Yoshida will have the money to go and kill 4-Kids! WHOOO! Right. So lets get to the INGREDIANTS (They're the fun part!)
X.x.X- Ingrediants -X.x.X
Sugar
A lemon
A lime
A lollipop
Your grandma or your grandmas ghost
Ivy leaves
Dead flies
OLD NAVY JEANS! (I don't own Old Navy, but I have a few pairs of jeans from them. I love the baggy ones that look like Hyolees, just cuz I think Hyolee is pretty. :: shrug :: I ish jealous and was thrilled when I found I have jeans she wore in a photoshoot)
Xtra Luckee Chocolate (I used a cereal name generater and found this interesting!)
Pills that make you stupid
Popcorn (For the pop-songish, corny lines you'll be inserting!)
X.x.X- Some Other Stuff I Think You'll Need -X.x.X
A crud load of sugary, corny fluff.
An off note choir
Lemon that comes way to fast
Corny lines
Chatspeak in script form.
Stupid comebacks to flames
WAY Out of character characters.
CUCUMBERS!
Hands
A computer
A word program (Notepad, wordpad, word, proword… etc, etc.)
Internet connection
Idiot- I DONT THINK I HAVE IT!!! OMB!!!1111
Sword-chan- :: hits with rolled up magizine :: Quiet, my exper—Pet idiot!
Kishuu- What she means to say is- HOW THE HECK ARE YOU READING THIS WITHOUT INTERNET?
Sword-chan- … good one.
Clean socks
A bucket (to throw up in after reading your terrible creation)
Paper (To write your will for when mad flamers are about to dispose of you)
Sanity
Sword-chan- That doesn't make sense, though, since I'm writing this and I'm not sane. I'm just not legally INSANE.
Kishuu- … idiot.
Sword-chan- YOURE JUST JEALOUS CAUSE THEY ONLY TALK TO ME! NEE HEE HEE!
Kishuu- Say wha?
Sword-chan- :: holds pineapple up to ear :: What is that Bob? Ah. Bob thinks you have problems. :: nods at Bob ::
Green tea (to dump down your nose)
X.x.X- The Potion making -X.x.X
Get out a bowl and put in your clean socks… because socks are for squares. Anyways, now that you're barefoot, it'll be easier. Fill the bowl with hot water. The idiots—I mean, our demonstrator and all mighty authoress will demonstrate.
Kishuu- :: fills bowl with hot water while Sword-chan takes off socks. They are yellow today… no lie ::
Socks- :: currently taking a bath in hot water ::
Anyways, now that you've got that done, pour every ounce of sugar you have, meaning white sugar, candy, anything with sugar.
Sword-chan- :: smiles while throwing sisters lipgloss in ::
Kishuu- Those have sugar?
Sword-chan- They smell like it…
Mix well until you have liquified sugar… actually, sugar tainted water. But whatever. It still works. U.u Squeeze the lemons and limes until they are shrivled. DO NOT GET ANY IN YOUR E—
Sword-chan- OW! MY EYE! MY EYE! I'M BLIIIINNNNNDDDD!!
Kishuu- :: mops at Sword-chan's eye with washcloth ::
Sword-chan- I CAN SEE! KISHUU IS A MIRACLE MAKER! WHOOOOOOAAAAA!!!
Kishuu- Uh, not really…
Sword-chan- YOU MEAN SANTA MAKES WISHES? (Long story. J-Rock RPG experiance. Bad accent interfering with English) Crush the pills and throw them in. There is an off note choir, yes? Make sure they're singing 'Ring Around The Rosie'- off note of course- while their fingers are in their ears. Now yell at them to shut up, and if they don't, throw them to your man eating dog. Put dead flies and ivy leaves in a pair of jeans from old navy, wash on delicate, then throw in bowl. Make sure you THROW them in the bowl. Pop some pop corn, eat a few kernals…
Kishuu- Sword-chan, it said a FEW.
Sword-chan- I know. A few HUNDRED.
AHEM! Then put them in bowl. Watch in awe as the soak and vanish, all soggy like. Like your lollipop and stick it in Grandmas hair, or throw it through her ghost. Take the bowl and dump a small portion of it down your man eating dogs nose. Mix a little bit longer, then open up wide and drink… Now sit down on your butt, and TYPE THAT SHITTY FANFIC!
X.x.X- How To Make An Excellent FanFic -X.x.X
INGREDIANTS-
Good, timed lemon (optional)
Good, sweet fluff
A bit of comedy
A dash of tears
Maybe some tragedy
I suppose it'd be o.k to add your grandfather or his ghost into this concoction.
A piece of hair from someone you know loves you or your fics
Other stuff-
Computer
Internet connection (Leik, no way!)
Time to write the fanfic
A word program
X.x.X
Kay, now… throw all the ingrediants in cup at once. That's right! ALL AT ONCE. Mix with egg beater… MIX THAT POTION! Then… Gasp… accidentally add a drop of CHEMICAL X, and since it was an ACCIDENT it was not listed in the ingrediants section. I ISH SO SPONTANIOUS! GASP!! Then freeze until it's basically a block of potion. A big, circular block. Slap the bottom of the cup until it comes out, shatters on the floor. Pick it up, dummy! Leave the dog hair on it, please. Now you've got yourself lovley cubes of a potion. Melt under heat ray gun until totally liquified, maybe a little syruppy. You have… OMB, the KEWLEST POTION EVER! MWAHAHA!
Kishuu- That was… short.
Sword-chan-… and stupid… LETS ROLL THE BLOOPER EXTRAS!
X.x.X- Bloopers! -X.x.X
(Shot of Kishuu in yellow dress, pigtails, and bright red lipstick. You also note all the candy in the background)
Kishuu- :: sings while dancing around in big swirls :: Once upon a December… I forget the rest of this totally gay song! Once upon a December… Taruto got his first candycane! Na na na na…
Sword-chan- :: tries not to laugh while filming :: :: to audience :: This may not look funny in writing, but seriously- IMAGINE!
Next Blooper…
Sword-chan- :: is thrown blanket from chapter… 1 or 2 :: :: doesn't catch :: Ah, o.kay, let's change this to 'food with Sword And Kishuu' and now it's 'How to Make Alien And Resigned Fangirl Pops' :: nods ::
Kishuu- How do I get myself into these hells?
Sword-chan- I paid you…
Kishuu- Ah… I remember… :: takes 9000 yen Sword-chan slipped him ::
Next!
… isn't there supposed to be a blooper here?
NEXT!!!
Sword-chan- :: is on sugar high after 33 grams of sugar from Lemon Iced Tea :: WHEE! AND DID I LIKE TELL YOU, I SAW THIS THUG AND HE WAS LIKE 'YO MUTHA IGOT LIKE A GUN' and I'm just like 'WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOEEEEEEEEE!' AND THEN I LIKE RUN AWAY AND THEN I FIND MYSELF IN A COMA! WHOOOOOOOOOEEEeEEEEEE!!!
…
Whoa.
Way.
To.
Much.
SUGAR! (not)
That seems to end it O.o