Dantooine pathways.
Revan walked along the main walkway towards the main starport near the enclave. A few of the Jedi he had talked to along the way had pointed him in that direction as that was where Mission had gone with Lena.
As he walked, his fingers absently stroked the fabric of his new robes. Finally, he'd managed to dump those ridiculous robes from the Star Forge. He'd handed them over to the Enclave's tailors and asked them to try and create a set of robes using the same material. Now, he relished the exquisite work that they had put into them.
The primary colour of the shirt was a deep black, with a slight trace of silver tracing set into it. Fitted for him, the robes were light and fluid, perfectly balanced. The trousers that came with the tunic however, were a light, almost sky blue, obviously designed to contrast the black. Made of the salvaged Star Forge fabric, he could feel the robes aid his focus of the force, but now they felt so right.
The only addition not formed of Star Forge material was the new cloak that they had added, a much darker blue than the trousers. It was detachable, designed for a Jedi who wished to ward off bad weather, or to shield himself from attention. Revan had decided he liked his new tunic very much. It made him feel like a true Jedi.
Now, as he walked along the permacrete pathway, Revan's mind was filled with how he was going to ask Mission to stay in the Enclave, safely out of danger. Revan glanced up as two civilians walked past him, their mingled gasps shaking him out of his thoughts. He nodded, missing their awed gazes as without a second glance he walked on.
If he told her not to come with him, she'd fight all the way, Revan knew her as well as she knew herself. No, she wouldn't fight him, he thought with a shake of his head, she'd nod and promise not to come and then steal away on board. Revan sighed aloud and smiled slightly.
"Such a little hot head," He thought wryly. "With a razor sharp tongue to boot. I know what she'll say, why can't she come when she fought with me all the way to the Star Forge. I suppose in almost every way she's right, but still... I can't help but fear for her life." Revan felt his hand caress the hilt of his lightsabre and suddenly grip it. "This is not like the Star Forge mission, this is different. It's not a race against time to stay alive and it's not a race to defend the Republic. No, this time it's all about me... about who I was."
Revan unhitched the hilt and slowly gripped it in the Force, allowing it to levitate slowly and begin to spin. Even with his mind preoccupied over Mission, Revan felt a gentle tug as Bastila's voice failed to reproach him over such a frivolous use of Force. He missed her, needed her council. Yet, she remained too far to help him.
He looked up as a sudden slight downdraft of air hit him, a huge passenger transport blotting out the sun as it roared over his head, and his mind turned back to Mission.
" She has her entire life ahead of her, she needs to see what the rest of the galaxy can offer compared to Taris and Griff. I can't let her come with me."
But how would he stop her? Revan's hand slipped to the hilt of his lightsabre and gripped it in thought. Mission deserved to know the truth as to why he wanted her to stay where it was safe. He wouldn't lie to her, he would tell her the truth and that was the problem.
"Well, I'll deal with that problem when it arrives..." He thought with a sigh. "But its not going to be easy."
A much harder draft of wind blew down on top of him and he looked up. A vast civilian transport thundered overhead, it's repulsor's hammering the air to give it height as the huge nose pointed towards space. Revan shielded his face from the blowing wind and shook his head wryly. His absent-minded walk had brought him to the front entrance. Taking a deep breath, he walked in.
The sound of hundreds of various races hit him at once. The various languages, food odours and voices assailed him. Since the Jedi enclave had made it's presence known, and especially since the Jedi had begun to rebuild and enlarge the recently gutted shell, traffic on Dantooine had shot up tremendously. Many of those here were coming to see if the Jedi could help them. Many would be disappointed as they were still so few, others would get the small hope that, whatever their problem, the Jedi could aid them.
Revan glanced around as he realised many of those people wandering around would recognise him, thanks to the holonet's constant broadcasts. Many would wish to congratulate him, others would only wish to hurl abuse at him. Revan wished to meet neither. Even now, he didn't feel in any way a hero, but nor did he feel that abusive yelling or physical violence was deserved by him either.
Quickly, he stepped behind a Panaa fern and quickly pulled the hood of his cloak around himself, he hoped it would be sufficient to hide his face. He knew people would stare at the lightsabre hooked to his belt, but they would hopefully see him as no more than a Jedi on a mission for the council.
He stepped back into the throng and checked the tiny multifunction display on his wrist. Lena was heading to Coruscant, Mission had left him enough messages, many of them to his shame increasingly worried, for Revan to know that. He glanced up at the holo-display and read the various flickering symbols, scanning down them for a specific entry. Two transports would go to Coruscant today, one in an hour and the other in eight...
Revan noted the pad number of the ship that left in an hour and slowly began to weave his way around the throng of people towards it. As he walked along the plush carpet of the main corridor linking them all, his mind flickered back to Mission.
"How am I going to ask her to stay out of this?" He thought once more, his face drawn in anxiety. "I don't want her running away in a huff, or worse leaving us all in anger. I don't want to upset her, I just want her to be safe."
He sighed as his thoughts chased themselves once more. He had no answer; it would be Mission who would decide how she would handle his request. If that meant she never spoke to him again, hated him, or never trusted him ever again then so be it. It was a small price to pay for the young woman to be as far from the Dark Jedi as he could get her.
Revan glanced across at a small cafe and sighed at the sight of people enjoying a carefree drink or snack before they boarded a shuttle or transport to their chosen destination. He supposed that his life had never in truth been normal, even though he had the inserted memories of a past before the Jedi. None of it had been true, so he found himself staring at the people in the cafe with just a tinge of jealously. Slowly he shook himself. That was the past and he had more important things to do than feel sorry for himself.
A few minutes later, after two wrong turns and a quick request for directions, Revan walked into the main boarding lounge of the Coruscant transport. He stopped suddenly as he took in the sight of Mission and Lena standing next to one another as the Zabrak hostess at the boarding terminal checked Lena's ID against her thumbprint and cornea match.
"Thank you Madam," The Zabrak smiled and handed back the data wafer with Lena's ticket information. "Boarding will commence in fifteen minutes."
"Thank you," Lena smiled at her and turned to Mission. "Well, fifteen minutes before I'm gone. So, I suppose this is goodbye for a while...."
"Yeah," Mission smiled sadly and her Lekku writhed with anxiety. "Look, Lena, I want you to take care on Coruscant okay?" Mission looked up at the woman who had offered to be a surrogate sister with worry. "Lena, you're like, really pretty. Although Coruscant ain't no way like Taris was? I hear stuff, bad stuff can happen down there. Your Pretty and a lot of guys're not gonna take no for an answer."
"Mission, I'm a big girl." Lena smiled at her worried expression. "Besides, I'm not going anywhere that seedy. That friend who said I could bunk? Well, I never really told you but she did quite well for herself. So, although it's not going to be the galaxy hotel, it'll be safe and secure while I look for a job. I thought as a secretary maybe..."
"You a secretary?" Mission grinned, sobering as Lena scowled slightly. "Sorry, it's just that ya were born to be a dancer Lena, even Griff could see that. So, why not be a dancer again? Canderous was muttering that there are loads of bars on Coruscant that'd hire you."
"Really," Lena stared at Mission and kicked herself. She kept forgetting how young and naive this kid was. "Did he happen to mention, Mission, what they woudl be looking for in a dancer?"
Mission frowned for a second and then blushed. "Oh. Yeah, he did kinda grin a lot when he said that."
"Yeah I'll bet. Even Javyars Cantina wasn't that bad." Lena sighed and affectionately rubbed Missions shoulder. "I told you, don't worry. I've got a few ideas for jobs and a few friends who owe me. So, I'll be fine, and I promise to look into all these offers you've been getting, Mish."
Mission smiled weakly. "Mish? I look like a... a Mish to you? Only one person calls me mish." Mission turned away from Lena's unsure face and a broad smile slipped onto her face. It was as she was looking up, that she spied Revan standing in the entrance hall. "Hey, and there he is! Rev, you came to say goodbye to Lena!"
Revan smiled weakly. This was going to be harder than he thought. Slowly he walked up to the two women.
"Well, to be honest I forgot she was going until one of the Jedi told me you had gone with her to the starport, Mission." Revan turned to Lena and smiled. "However, you're right in that I wish to say goodbye." He held out his hand and Lena gripped it tightly. "Lena, I hope you have a safe voyage to Coruscant, and everything works out well for you there."
"Thank you," Lena whispered, trying to stop herself from shaking. A Jedi, Missions friend, actually cared what was going to happen to an ex dancer. "Really, thank you, Jedi Revan."
"Revan, Lena, always Revan to my friends." He glanced at Mission and placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "Mission, I need to talk to you in private after we've seen Lena off, okay?"
"Sure Rev," Mission bounced up and down slightly. She could tell her friend was worried. Not unsurprising, as her messages, to an increasingly annoyed HK47, had remained unanswered for the past few days. "You can buy me a caffa while you suck up for, y'know, being unreachable for the past few days!"
Revan blushed slightly. "Okay, okay. Mission, we're supposed to be here to say goodbye to Lena." Revan glanced across at the other Twi'lek who grinned. "Again, I hope you find what you need on Coruscant. If you ever get into trouble, don't hesitate to comm me or Mission, okay?"
"Thank you, Master Jedi," Lena bowed slightly making Revan feel ridiculous. "I'll be fine, but I'll keep your offer in mind if I ever need help." Lena turned to Mission and held out her hands. Mission's face twisted slightly with awkwardness, but she suddenly ran into the older woman's arms and all her worry lines slipped into a grin. "Take care sis. I'll comm you as much as I can, okay Mission?"
Mission felt Lena squeeze her tightly and she quivered at a deep warmth in her stomach.
"Yeah, I'm gonna miss you, a lot!" She sighed and looked up at Lena's smiling face. "Look, fer what it's worth Lena, I... I wish I'd been nicer to you."
"Little hot head," Lena whispered affectionately. "But, thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for saving my life. I know I never actually said it in so many words, so I've said it now." Mission blushed and Lena squeezed her one last time. "Well, I suppose I should get ready..."
The Zabrak, who had been politely taking other passengers tickets while the two Twi'lek women had hugged and squeezed each other, coughed politely. "Miss? We're boarding now..."
Lena sighed and picked up her duffle bag. "Well, here I go."
"Yeah, what an adventure!" Mission's face was alight, but Revan could feel the sadness hidden behind her enthusiasm. "Look, I'll come an visit as soon as I can, I promise."
Lena walked over to the Zabrak, who smiled and pressed a button to drop the barrier to the transports hatch. Turning back, she smiled sadly. "I'll hold you to that little sister."
With a final wave and smile at Mission, and a bow to Revan, Lena turned to the hatch and stepped through. Mission watched the shiny plasti-steel door hiss shut behind her and glanced up at Revan.
"I'm gonna miss her." She muttered and Revan placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "Can we, like, watch her leave before you and me get down?"
"Sure," Revan murmured and walked with her to the huge window. The massive transport shone in the sun and as they waited for it to take off, Mission sniffed.
"Lena asked if I could be her sister, nice huh?"
"Well, considering you called her a brother stealing, whatever it was, I think so." Revan glanced down at her and sighed. "She cares for you, Mission, we all do. I knew she did when she came over to talk to you back on Dantooine. The relief that was pouring off her, she must have heard about Taris, was palpable. Then as she tries to make friends... bang, you slap her down." Mission blushed. "Still, I suppose having someone you thought hated you become your rescuer, that'll redeem your faith in someone."
"Okay," Mission muttered, as she pressed a smooth hand against the glass. "You don't like, have to rub it in! I know how much of a Rancor spawn I was. I told ya, Griff is a touchy subject... I suppose that included Lena." She looked up at her Jedi friend. "I've been a moron, an I suppose I'm trying to make up for that."
"Possibly," Revan murmured and glanced down. "Lena might just be doing the same thing, ever considered that?" Mission frowned and he pushed on. "She's offered you something you've never had Mission, family. I know you had Zaalbar, but she's the first Twi'lek who's cared for you like that. Considering she was Griff's fiancée, I think she feels obligated to look after you now that he's vanished. Plus," He glanced down to see her scuffing her boot on the window frame. "She thinks she owes you her life."
"That's dumb," Mission murmured and stared at the reflection of her face. "I don't want people to owe me their lives Revan. I'm a woman, a young woman... How do I cope with stuff like this?"
"Hero's have to," Revan placed both hands on her shoulders and squeezed. "You're a hero, Mission."
"I don't want to be," She whispered. "I just want to help people like me... those who, like, didn't have the chance I did to escape."
"I know." Revan squeezed her slightly and looked up as the huge engines on the back of the transport burst into glowing life. Slowly, its ponderous bulk heaved off the pad and turned gently on its massive repulsors to face the sky. With a flicker, the huge engine funnels grew incandescent, and even Revan and Mission could hear the roar as they began to push the transport into the sky. As the transport finally began to slide into the sky, Mission sighed and then turned to Revan and cocked her head.
"Well? You gonna buy me a caffa or what?"
Mission sat numbly, staring at her caffa mug as Revan gazed at her over his own steaming cup. He'd stopped speaking two or three minutes ago, and yet Mission just sat there.
"Mission?" She looked up at him and her eyes were moist, holding back tears. "Ah, Mish, don't be like that."
"Don't be like what?" She whispered at him. "Upset, distraught at how my family are trying to dump me while they go off on a mission that could get em all killed?"
Her voice raised in tone and a few customers glanced in their direction. Neither Revan nor Mission paid them any heed.
"It's not like that, Mish," Revan began, his own hands gripping his caffa cup tightly. "Really, I just want you to be safe!"
"Safe," Mission slumped down and her Lekku drooped. "The safest place, chuba face, is with you. Tell me why, why you want me to stay the Force away from you all."
"I don't! I'd love you to come with us, but this is different."
"Oh yeah? How about the Star Forge eh? Or the cargo raiders and the Sith slavery bar. You want me to be safe and yet I went will all of yah on those!" She looked up at him and frowned, her upper lip trembling. "What's the difference?"
Revan sighed. This was the hardest part as he was dammed if he could think of a reason good enough for her. The truth of the matter was he just wanted her to stay with the Jedi, that was it. Forget the combat skills, the hacking, and her uncanny luck... He'd found himself imagining her face along with Bastila and the others lying dead and vacant somewhere. The thought had frightened him almost as much as when he dreamed of Bastila's face, cold vacant... dead. With a shudder he looked up at the very much alive, hurt and angry Twi'lek in front of him.
"The difference is that we were running from the Sith when we went up against Malak, that we were fighting for the very survival of everything we believed in. You wanted to help and to repay the debit you felt you owed. I couldn't let you down because you believed in me, because you were part of our family and at that time being with us was the safest place you could be." Revan watched her face flinch. "You would have come with me on the Taris cargo run even if, I'd told you not to. It was your home world Mission, you would have done anything to get those supplies to them."
"And the Sith slave bar?" She asked him quietly. "What about that? I went with you, you needed my help and I was in danger all the time. I did it because, y'know, you said we were like family and stuff. Juhani is like a big sis to me and she wanted to save Yuthura. So, why the Force can't I come and help you, my big bro, stop some "Brotherhood" or whatever kill ya?"
Revan sighed and reached out to take her hand, but she pulled back. He watched as her eyes bored into him and with a sigh looked away.
"Okay, fine. The real and only reason I want you to stay here on Dantooine is so that you'll be safe." He looked up. "I don't want to see you lying dead on the ground of some planet or ship, or worse as an enslaved dancer or pleasure girl!" He looked away from her. "That's why I've been avoiding you, and them. But they have a choice Mission, you're just a kid!"
"I m not a kid!" Mission snapped at him and she stood up angrily. The patrons of the cafe looked down at their own drinks, desperate to look at anything but the arguing Jedi and angry young Twi'lek. "I'm nearly fifteen damn ya!"
"Exactly," Revan said softly looking up at her. "You have an entire life to lead Mission, a very long one, I hope. I don't want your life to be full of the darkness that seems to follow me around. Juhani, Jolee and the others feel that they are doing what they want in life by helping me. Bastila, she loves me for some strange reason, and will follow me regardless of what I say." He held up a hand and Mission's spluttered response died. "I know you love me Mish, as a brother. Hell, you love us all in some ways. But this time I want to act as a real brother should. You're only a teenager and a young one at that."
"I'm not a kid!" She repeated angrily.
"No, I know. But neither are you old enough to realise what coming with me would mean. The others are old enough, wise enough, to understand what it means. I know you have a older head on young shoulders, but you're not old enough to choose."
"Stop saying that! You... you, you two faced chuba face!" She yelled at him and turning stormed out of the cafe. Revan sighed, and quickly dropped a few credits onto the table and ran after her. She was right, oh she was so frighteningly right and it scared him to realise that he had only one reason for wanting her to stay on Dantooine, and it was selfish. For all his telling her she wasn't old enough, he had let her come with them in the battle against Malak, he had let her come on the transport and he had asked her to infiltrate the Slave bar to save Yuthura and the other civilians. So why now did he want her to stay?
"Because this one is all about you. No higher goal, no battle for what's right and every chance that whoever follows could end up dead. It's your problem and they want you." His mind unwillingly replied. "You've tried to protect the others, but you knew that was impossible. Bastila would sacrifice herself for you and would ignore any plea to stay. So, you've tried to stop the one person who you think is too young to come with you. The problem is... she's older than she looks."
As he ran outside of the starport building, he spied her running as fast as possible along the path to the Jedi enclave. Taking a moment to centre himself and the Force, he ran after her. With the Force flowing through his muscles, his feet blurred on the permacrete and it was seconds until he was on top of her. He reached out and tapped her gently on the shoulder.
"Mission, please just listen to me." He asked her. She turned a tear-streaked face toward him. "Please, let chuba face here try and explain."
She slowed and stopped to collapse on the grass next to the path. As Revan slowed and stepped next to her, sinking slowly down, she glared at him and sniffed.
"You're a nasty piece of work Rev! All that poodoo about being a family an stuff, but you wont let me help ya cause I'm too young? That's mean, and unfair and you know it, cause otherwise you'd have kept ya big mouth shut!" She looked away and her voice slipped into a murmur. "I have to come with you, to pay my debt to you. If you weren't such a Bantha brain you'd see that."
"You don't owe me anything!" Revan whispered, settling on the grass and feeling the sun's warmth seep into him from the ground. "Really Mission, You've paid any debt a hundred times over."
"Not to me," She turned to him and her face creased slightly into a sad smile. "I was nothing more than a gutter urchin, until you came along. If you'd not come and saved me then Zaalbar would be in some Czerka slave pen and I'd be a dancer, or worse. Instead I have friends, family almost, and I've been involved in, like, big stuff. I owe this all to you, I owe you my life!"
She sat back and Revan reached out to squeeze her shoulder, but she surprised him by throwing herself into his chest. "You have no idea how much you change people's lives. One minute I, like, had nothing and now I do. So, I'm coming with ya, no matter how young I am or what may happen." She looked up at him with concern and her voice dropped to a whisper. "I know why you've been avoiding me an all of us, I worked it out the second day. That message was aimed at, like, you and anyone travelling with ya."
"Yes it was, but what about it?"
"So, you've been having nightmares! I hear ya on the Hawk, s'like Malak telling you that you were Revan once. Now I hear my name, Juhani... Bastila's all screamed by you now and again as ya thrash. Man, the number of times I've given ya a sedative to calm you down."
"Mission." Revan whispered, trying not to shiver as he recalled her dead face, slumped with Bastila and his other friends, as something laughed with delight. "That's why I want you at least to stay, one less person to worry about."
"So, you'd leave me here to worry as much as you do, dream the same dreams as you do." She looked up at him and shook her head. "I won't be helpless like that Rev! So, I'm coming with you, end of, like, story."
"No, you can't." He whispered. "Please, stay here where it's safe."
Mission slid off his lap and crouched in front of him. "You know Zaalbar swore a life debt to ya?" Revan nodded. "Well, you understand what it means?"
"Of course," Revan looked at her with a frown and suddenly paled as she slowly began to kneel in front of him. Desperate, he lunged forwards to stop her, but she danced out his way. "No, please don't Mish. Please, I want you to stay here. Don't do it, please!"
"I've told you and the others enough times Rev, I'm not a kid anymore. You saved me on Taris and now," She dropped to her knees quickly and bowed her head. "I swear to the very Force that you follow this pledge. I will, like, swear my life bonded to yours until I have paid you back for saving mine, for giving me all this. Until that time, until I and you have both agreed I've like paid my debt, I will always be by your side."
"No," Revan whispered and Mission smiled at him, her eyes gleaming.
"S' too late Rev. The life bond I swore is kinda diff to the Wookies, but the Force knows I pledged it. I'm no kid, and now I get to fulfil my vow, no matter what. I'm not letting any 'Brotherhood' Sith Jedi hurt you while I'm still breathing!"
"Damn you," Revan groaned and Mission crouched next to him as he grappled with what she'd just done. The thought of someone so young sacrificing her life for him, the ex dark lord of the Sith, was horrifying. Revan sighed and shook his head, holding the tears back as her young face stared at him with such terrifying innocence. "Why couldn't you just stay here, where it's safe, where I know you'll be alright? Now I have to worry about you as much as myself and the others, let alone Bastila."
"I can look after myself, Revan," Mission murmured and she slid next to him once more on the grass. She wanted to reassure him that she'd made the right choice. "What about Bastila? You love her way more than me, so what you gonna do?" she smiled slightly. "I can't see her staying here, or on that ship she's on, knowing her lover is trying to track down those who wish to capture him."
"She's like you," Revan muttered and he looked up at her, misery on his face. "Stubborn. If I told her not to come, she'd just ignore me. If I tried to stop her... Well, she'd fight tooth and nail."
"Yeah, cause she loves ya!" Mission leaned back onto the grass. "Like ya little sister does! So, if you can't stop your girlfriend, you ain't stopping me. Sith spit, you haven't stopped me! Besides, the life debt is serious. Even if ya left me on Dantooine, I'd try and sneak aboard, you can't be everywhere at once until departure."
"And if I did?" He asked her, sighing at her innocent grin.
"Then I'd have, like, followed you with whatever I could buy, borrow or steal. You know I've got the skills Rev! I'd follow you on planets as close as ya own shadow and you wouldn't stop me no matter what. At least this way you can keep an eye on little old me, yeah?" She grinned.
Revan actually smiled at that, and at the determined tone Mission had adopted. He couldn't break, reverse or alter the life debt that she'd sworn. If he rejected her, it would be a stain on her soul that nothing would wash away. He knew that from the memories the council had given him and from his own private discussions with Zaalbar about what he had sworn in the Taris sewers. Mission had to come with him now, even if he still felt she was too young. He sighed, She'd got her own way again, like she always did. Hot headed and stubborn, and he loved her very much.
"Mission?" He gently questioned and she turned on the grass to stare at him, her lekku quivering slightly on the grass. "Thank you... for believing in me, even now."
"Always, Rev, always." She murmured, staring up at the sky once more. Revan watched her for a few minutes and then slowly rose to his feet. He turned to the enclave and slowly walked back to its quiet and serene architecture. As his footfalls fell on the permacrete pathway, his mind whiled in thought. He shuddered at the way things were taking shape.
"Bastila, I need you now, more than ever." He thought with longing. "I need your advice, so hurry my love... please."
Juhani's quarters.
Juhani, her mind trapped in dreams, tossed and turned on her soft bed. The sheet that covered her had wrapped itself around her body in a tight knot and sweat trickled from her fur as she fought an intangible foe. Her mouth opened slightly and she snarled in warning as her eyes fluttered under her closed eyelids.
She was running, from something hostile to only her. Every time she turned to see it, it was always right behind her. Panic and fear coursed through her as she ran away from it's threatening appearance. Odd, as she had no memory as to what it looked like.
As she ran it's hot breath snarled into the back of her neck, making her wince and try to run even faster. The ground was constantly uneven and seemed to shift. One second it was razor sharp grass, that gave way to sand, brambles, tree roots. She stumbled and felt a pain shoot into her leg as her ankle twisted. Unable to run, she turned to see a huge black shapeless mass bearing down on her. As she screamed, it slammed into her and she felt her very being fill with ice-cold terror. As the cold torrent swept through her, she began to shiver and shake, her heart beating so fast it felt as if it wanted to burst from her and run. Her breath escaped her and she lay shuddering on the dirt floor. Suddenly, she felt a hand reach out to grasp her.
Juhani sat up in bed, the sweat drenching her skin making the sheets clammy and cold. She let out an uncharacteristic cry and lay shuddering, curled in a foetal position on the soft covers. The mane across the back of her neck sprang into a huge comb of fur and she growled as threateningly as possible, her wild eyes running around her room, searching for any intruders. Finding none, her bristling mane settled and her panting, feral, breathing slowed to a more normal rate.
With a final flick of her gaze around the dark room, she slapped the controls against the window and its polarised plastiglass slowly began to clear once more. The bright Dantooine sunshine flittered into the room, its afternoon glare lighting up the plain furnishings and banishing the remains of Juhani's fears with the shadows.
"Fool," she berated herself as shame washed over her. "It was only a dream. Do warriors flinch at their own shadow? Besides, Jedi do not, should not, succumb to emotion. I should be calm, passive and at peace with myself!"
She flushed, as she realised that being angry with herself was also something a Jedi should not feel. With a sigh, she inwardly cursed her short temper and closed her eyes, determined to rein it in, as she always did.
"There is no emotion, there is only peace." She chanted quietly, feeling the calming words soothe her. "There is no passion, there is serenity."
As her mind settled slowly, Juhani began to ponder the reason for the dream. Usually, especially after her time in the shadow of the darkside, she had dreamed terrible nightmares. However, these had always been her striking her friends, colleagues and.... lovers down, laughing as their blood drenched her fur in torrents. She had woken from them screaming more than once.
Once, to her embarrassment, she had found Mission's eyes staring at her in the darkness from across the room. Slowly, the young Twi'lek had walked across to her and sat on the end f the bunk where Juhani lay trembling slightly. She'd reached out and slowly stroked her arm, pausing only for a few seconds when it had flinched as though struck, until she had stopped quivering and felt shame slip into her.
"You're as bad as Revan sometimes." Mission had whispered to her in the low light of the crew annex. "Is it something to do with being a Jedi? Or your fall, the nightmares?"
Juhani hadn't been able to give her an answer back then and even now she found it hard to tell the difference between a dream and a vision. She prayed to the Force that her dreams of her striking those she cared for down, where just that, dreams. This one, this had felt... different. Neither a dream, nor a vision, but something else and that scared her. The fear that had slammed into her, covered her with icy darkness, had not been hers... it had felt external, almost given, sensed from someone.
With a shrug she closed her eyes once more and attempted to slip into a deeper meditative state.
"To feel something such as that, to have more than just a sense but to experience such things, I would have to have a special link to another Jedi such as Revan and Bastila formed." She sighed and felt her meditation dip further into the calm ripples of the Force. "I do not have such a bond, only Belaya would have possibly been my bond mate. So, this must have been nothing more than a nightmare..."
Slowly her mind slipped to the matters of the day that still remained. She would have to eat soon, then go and see if Revan was around, she needed to speak to him. Then she would check on Yuthura and see if the healers had done their work.
Her mind slowly quietened and she felt the Force flow around her. Its presence soothed and whispered to her very soul, she was one with it and it her. Juhani felt the warmth of the light side slide around her and her breathing slowed to a bare minimum.
"Deeper, I must go deeper." Dreamily, she floated in its grasp. "I have to find the centre point. There I can mediate, be one with the Force in all things."
A sudden banging on her door made her meditative state crumble into confusion and she looked up in shocked disorientation. Her legs unfurled and her hands had grasped her sabre before she had a chance to fully recover. With a shiver, Juhani pulled herself together and stared cautiously at the door. The banging began again and Juhani's eyes widened as the door itself, plasteel, shook under the blows it was receiving, she wondered what could make someone so desperate as to bang a door that hard.
Slowly, she slid off the bed and walked up to the door. Readying herself for any attack, Juhani pressed the door release and the metal slid to one side. There, standing in dishevelled terror, was Yuthura, her hands bruised from where she had pounded the lock. As her wild eyes fixed on Juhani's face, she let out a gasp of relief and scuttled behind the astonished Cathar.
"Keep them away! Keep them!" Yuthura whispered, frightened and Juhani tried to turn, only to have Yuthura grip her shoulders and force her to stare at the door. "NO, they want to hurt me! Please, keep them back!"
"No one will harm you in the enclave," Juhani softly murmured backwards. "The Sith cannot gain access to the academy, all the Jedi Masters would feel their presence. Yuthura, please, come with m..."
A sudden commotion made Juhani bring her hilt into a more offensive stance as Yuthura whimpered and backed away to hide in the refresher. "No!"
"It will be alright." Juhani assured her, cursing her restrained tone of voice, something her rigid emotional control, when among others, always seemed to cause. "No one will harm you."
She narrowed her eyes as three healers ran up to her rooms doorway and stood panting, and surprised to see her with her sabre hilt prominent, in the corridor. The most senior, a Jedi Juhani had learned was called Tsenfre, bowed to her.
"Sorry Knight Juhani, but have you seen Yuthura Ban?" He managed, slowly getting his breath back. "We were about to give her a sedative and take her up to the operating room, but she attacked us and ran off screaming."
"I see," Juhani glanced at the bathroom door. "Tell me, you understood that in her disturbed state, she would probably see that as an attack. So, why did you not call me?"
"I'm sorry," Tsenfre replied softly. "We did not realise just how dangerous she is."
"Dangerous?" Juhani felt her voice rise and she frowned in mild surprise. Clearing it, she looked in his eyes and slipped her hilt onto her belt. "She is not dangerous, Healer Tsenfre, she is in need of help. Consider that the people who assaulted her in that Sith slavery bar probably used sedatives, hypo's, even possibly the ancient needle devices to inject Force knows what into her. Did you ask her, explain what you wanted to give her in a calm and quiet way?"
"I, well that is... we," He crumbled under her gaze. "Well, no. I apologise Knight Juhani. I should have been far gentler. It's just that the mind healers from Coruscant have finally arrived. I thought it prudent to have Yuthura ready for them in the operating area."
Juhani raised an eyebrow while inside relief poured through her. "They are here?"
"Oh yes, Master Ivenkia told me that they had arrived about an hour ago. They have been preparing themselves with some deep meditation and requested that Yuthura be prepared for their healing attempt. I thought a mild sedative would help her cope."
"Well, I suggest I come with you," Juhani said softly, aiming her voice more at the refresher than Tsenfre. "I will come with you, and Yuthura, to keep her safe and calm. I would also like to meet the healers the council on Coruscant have sent."
"Oh yes," Tsenfre enthused. "I hear that Jedi Fara and Jazir are the top mental healers in the galaxy. They specialise in Force attacks, so I suppose that gives Jedi Ban the best chance of recovery."
Juhani nodded and sighed. "Well, I suppose we had better not keep them waiting."
"Well, have you seen Yuthura Ban, Master Juhani?" He asked her, a slight blush on his face. "I really need your help."
"I have," Juhani murmured and turned to the refresher door. "Yuthura, come out, they are here to help you."
Slowly, the purple Twi'lek's head slid round the door, her eyes wide and her entire body stance poised to run. She licked her lips at the sight of the three healers and Juhani and glanced at Tsenfre with fear. "They want to hurt me, stick me."
"Not while I am with you," Juhani assured her. "There are people here now who can help you, heal you. So, will you trust me, come with me?" She held out a hand and Yuthura paused for a second before sliding her smooth, yet slightly scarred, one into Juhani's open grip.
"Will they help me?" Yuthura whispered, glancing around her in confusion. She sniffed suddenly and all thoughts of flight left her face. She inhaled once more and laughed. "Mmmm, spicy!"
Juhani felt a blush creep up her skin, hidden thankfully by her fur. "I had a shower." She murmured to the three Jedi in the corridor, as she tightened her grip and began to pull Yuthura gently out of her room.
The Twi'lek gave Tsenfre one last worried glance, that he returned with a small bow and gentle smile, and followed her Cathar protector down the corridor. As they walked, Juhani glanced down to see that she was barefoot and wearing only the Medi-bay dress that had been slipped onto her upon her arrival.
"That was foolish." She murmured and Yuthura's unfocused eyes glanced at her. "No shoes and little clothing, you could have caught hypothermia."
"In this heat?" Tsenfre muttered, an embarrassed expression crossing his face as Juhani flashed a reproachful look at him. "Sorry."
"Will I remember my name?" Yuthura asked suddenly and Juhani shuddered. Her voice had once more dropped into the childlike sing song tone. "I want to know who I am, what I did to be hurt so much."
"Nothing, except realise the path you had taken led to destruction, as I did." Juhani thought slowly. "Why do I care so much about you? Is it because I am a Jedi and care for all things, Belaya's memory or do I.. I just like you." She shrugged, it was something she did not want to think about. "Or face anyway." The feral part of her, the passion... laughed silently.
With her thoughts whirling around her, Juhani escorted her Quartet of Jedi down the main pathways and into the Enclaves newly constructed Medical wing. It had been built, as she and Quatra had discovered, with money donated by the Sandrels and the Matales, with thanks.
"Revan shows that a single Jedi can make a difference." Quatra had murmured to her, admiring the clean, freshly painted corridors and rooms with approval.
Now, as Juhani once more stepped into the warmly painted wing, she had to agree. Yuthura calmed visibly at the clean, brightly-lit corridor and fresh breeze that slipped past the many windows set into the wall. Outside, Juhani could see the sun beginning to slip into a orange hue, it was drawing to late afternoon.
"This way Knight Juhani, Jedi Yuthura." Tsenfre bowed and extended a hand. "They are waiting for us in operating theatre two, I understand. Would you please follow me?"
Juhani nodded, while Yuthura shivered at him. Gently, she pulled the Twi'lek with her along the same fresh corridors, smiling slightly as many other healers softly said hello to Yuthura and she nodded jerkily in response. It seemed that the majority of the people in the Medical wing had not scared her. Eventually they came to a set of double doors and Tsenfre gently reached out to Yuthura.
"I should take her in knight Juhani." He murmured. "You should really wait out here, it would be best I think."
Yuthura's head snapped round and she whimpered in horror. Juhani watched in shock as she prodded him in the chest and screamed into his face. "NO!"
Tsenfre fell back, his face white, and Juhani gripped Yuthura's hand tightly, trying to get the Twi'lek to focus on her once more. Yuthura ignored the tugging, and continued to yell.
"No, no, no, no, no!" She poked him with each word and the healer's face was pained, her fingernails were sharp and his robe only provided a little protection. "You want to hurt me!"
"Yuthura!" A familiar voice echoed down the corridor and each person's face turned to look in its direction. Revan stood in the corridor and smiled at her dazed expression. "Come now, they're trying to help you."
Yuthura stared at him for a few moments and to Juhani's relief stepped away from the nervous Jedi healer. She walked up to Revan and tilted her head. "They want to help me, so they say... do I trust them?"
Suddenly her head was drawn down to stare at Star Forge tunic he wore. Slowly she reached out in fascination and began to stroke the fabric. Revan gently took her hands and shook her slightly. Yuthura glanced up. "You trust me?" She nodded jerkily. "You trust Juhani?" Again she nodded, slightly more enthusiastically Revan noted. "Then trust us both and go with them. I promise, one of us will be with you at all times."
Yuthura stared and turned to Juhani. "You're hungry." She stated and Juhani's eyes widened in surprise. "Revan here, you need food."
The doors to the operating room swung open and two Jedi walked out. One of them glanced around them and smiled at the sight of the purple Twi'lek grasping Revan's hand.
"Ah, Yuthura Ban," She spoke quietly, softly and Yuthura nodded jerkily. "How are you?"
"They tried to hurt me," Yuthura pointed at the healers with a quivering finger. "But the furry saved me again."
Juhani felt another blush coming and fought it down with her emotional controls as all the eyes slid to the only fur covered person in the room. She coughed and glanced over at Revan. His amused grin didn't help and she sighed.
"She seems to call me that." Was all she could muster.
"Allow me to introduce myself," The female healer spoke up, her face soft and confident. "My Name is Healer Fara, my associate, Jedi Jazir, is finishing the preparations in the operating room."
"Will you be actually doing any operating?" Revan asked her and the Healer shook her head.
"No, we chose this room simply as it is big enough to accommodate all three of us comfortably. If we used any room smaller than this it would be uncomfortable for the patient." Fara smiled at Yuthura, who stared suspiciously at her. "Hello."
"I don't know you..." Yuthura muttered, gripping Revan's arm and glancing at Juhani. "Do I trust you? Should I run?"
"I hope not," Fara laughed and bowed deeply in front of the Twi'lek. Revan was impressed. He felt Yuthura's arm loosen from his, and the Twi'lek giggled. "I'm here to help you Jedi Ban. With our help, I have every hope you will be back to normal as quickly as possible."
"I want to be a Jedi." Yuthura stated to her, a glimmer of a grin on her face.
"Well, if you trust me, would you come with me?" Fara asked quietly, holding out her hand. Yuthura reached out, paused and glanced at Juhani's calm face. Whatever she saw there, let her slide her hand into Fara's. "Now, we have to help you place the pieces of your mind back together."
The Jedi's voice faded as the two walked slowly through the double doors. Juhani caught the heady aroma of rare spices and oils and she caught a tiny glimpse of an elderly, white haired Jedi kneeling on a soft mat in front of a decorated head dress.
As the doors quietly slid closed, the Dantooine healers bowed and left Juhani and Revan alone in the corridor. Revan glanced at Juhani, who had continued to stare at the closed doors, and reached out to her. As he placed a hand on her tunic, she jumped slightly.
"Revan, I, I apologise." She flustered, and Revan watched the hair on her neck rise slightly. "I... I hate to say this but, I worry for her."
"You mean Yuthura?" Revan asked her and she nodded. He decided to push slightly, to bring what worried her into the open. "Why? I'm sure the procedure will be a success."
"I wish I knew," She murmured and Revan's eyes widened. "I thought it was because she saved Belaya. Now, although it is still partly because of that, I find myself wondering if that is the only reason..."
"I see," Revan watched her blush and he sighed. "So, why do you care so much for her?"
"I don't know," Juhani whispered. "Possibly, possibly because she reminds me of myself, before you rescued me from my own foolish path."
"Ah," Revan murmured, while part of him wondered if even that was the only reason. "So, you feel you can save her from the darkness?"
"Well, maybe, if the mediation works. I have to help her cope." She looked away. "I... I checked into Yuthura's old Master."
Revan felt his heart sink at her tone. "The one who welcomed her back?"
"Yes," Juhani sighed and looked at Revan intently in the dark. "Please, keep this to yourself until I can decide how to break it, but he died shortly after they escaped the enclave."
"How?"
"He was part of a group chased by Sith fighters. There was a battle and he was in the wrong section of the ship when one of the fighters managed to cause a hull breach."
Revan groaned and glanced at the closed doors. "I think you're right Juhani, she will need you to help her stay on the right path."
As Revan watched her nod curtly, he frowned in thought. "She may also need you as someone to talk to." They both had a similar past, except Juhani had been far luckier that Yuthura in that she managed to escape. Revan could still remember the haunted way the purple Twi'lek had briefly touched her past, the pain in her voice no matter how vague the details. "Someone to just... listen and understand."
"I... I wonder how similar our pasts were," Juhani asked him quietly, mirroring his thoughts. "She grew up in squalor, was enslaved, was tortured. I, I wonder if she would talk to me."
"Steady Juhani," Revan cautioned and she frowned. "Although I'm sure she would welcome any assistance you could give her to walk the light path, we're getting ahead of ourselves."
"In what way?" Juhani asked him, bristling ever so slightly. "You know me, Revan. You know me far better than anyone else, except possibly Quatra. I would never force her to talk to me about that!"
Revan held up a hand. "No, no. I simply meant that there is a very slim chance that she may have a shattered mind for the rest of her life. What would you do then?"
Juhani looked away. "I... I would come with you regardless," She turned to him and bowed ever so slightly. "I will accompany you on this mission and any other that you would require assistance. I would follow at your request to the heart of Korriban. I trust you, owe you my life, my new friends and my status in the Jedi."
Revan sighed. This was rapidly heading towards the same discussion he had previously had with Mission. Looking at her face, he nodded.
"I know, and I thank you. However, have you considered that it might be better for you to stay here?" Revan watched her eyes flicker slightly and rushed out the rest. "Not that I wouldn't need you, I do. I, well I just feel that you've been through so much. Fought the darkside, helped me resist the lure myself, proved yourself a true Jedi and aided me to save Bastila and defeat Malak. That's quite a resume and I think you deserve some time off to reflect, mediate and relax."
"While you and all the others fly off to face those dark Jedi? You would expect me to relax, to be able to mediate while I imagine you fighting the Brotherhood?" Juhani shook her head. "No, Revan, I will come with you. It is my choice, my life and I will decide whose hands to place it in, who I will defend and possibly give my life up for." She reached out and her face was serious. "Your Jedi team saved me on Taris all those years ago, you saved me from the darkside, stopped me from giving in to Xor and you gave me the life I now lead."
"What are you saying?" Revan murmured, blushing at her conviction.
"I... I know this may sound foolish, and if you do not wish it I will understand. However, I must say it." Juhani glanced around quickly and then turned back to Revan with a serious expression. "I would call you brother, in spirit and in name."
Revan felt his world shake for the second time in one day." Juhani..."
"Please, Revan, try to understand." She reached out and Revan felt a soft hand grip his arm for support. Considering his own legs felt weaker than ever, he thought it was a bad idea. "I owe you everything I am, Jedi and warrior for the light. So, I give you my loyalty totally, brother."
Revan's face slipped into disbelief and Juhani suddenly hissed in Carthari. He listened to the lilting language as she almost sang the words quietly into the empty corridor. "What did you say?"
"You do not comprehend Cathari?" Juhani asked him with a small smile. "I simply called you my brother, in all things."
"Juhani...."
"No words are needed, and this changes nothing." Juhani assured him. "I feel you have done everything a brother would do for me, and I wish to do the same for you. I will join you on this quest, and we will succeed."
Revan wanted to tell her that he would feel better if she stayed in the enclave, but the thought of Misson's response stopped him. It would be futile, as the young Twi'lek had said, and in Juhani's eyes, would insult her. He sighed and shook her slightly, causing the Cathar to give a genuine smile in response.
Suddenly, the double doors slipped open and Fara walked out once more into the corridor. As the doors swung open, the two Jedi caught a glimpse of Jazir still kneeling, but now he kneeled in front of Yuthura. The Twi'lek was lying on the soft, ornately woven rug, the head-dress wrapped intricately around her head. Juhani, her eyes sharper than Revan's, could see the clear crystals forming part of it glowing with a inner fire as Jazir infused them with his powers. Before they could see any more details, especially the candles and incense that were placed around Yuthura, the doors slid shut. Fara, politely ignoring Revan and Juhani's deep interest in the room behind her, bowed to the two Jedi. After a gentle glance to ensure the doors had shut, she smiled at them.
"It has begun," She told them. "We must have total silence while myself and Jazir weave the meditative discipline. Once that has been completed, we will attempt to heal and repair the rifts in Yuthura ban's mind. I and my Master hope, we pray to the Force, that Yuthura will rejoin us partly along the way and assist to heal the rest."
"What are her chances?" Juhani asked the Jedi healer almost urgently. "Will you be able to heal her mind completely?"
"I hope so," Fara glanced at Revan, almost with embarrassment. "I have to say, she's not the most damaged mind I have ever been asked to aid healing."
"You mean me?" Revan stated flatly and Fara nodded.
"Yes. Revan, myself and Master Jazir are the best at what we do." Fara stated this quietly and Revan nodded. Fara was not saying this due to arrogant pride, she was stating the truth. "To be honest, I'm amazed you're standing upright, let alone walking, talking, using the Force and being a Jedi. I have never seen such a shattered mess as your mind was. Whatever the Dantooine council managed to do, I'm impressed and would like to meet the Jedi capable of such a feat."
"Maybe I can arrange that one day," Revan smiled at the thought of Bastila, his saviour, his lover and then turned his attention back to Fara. "You didn't help them then?"
"Well, no." Fara shifted uncomfortably. "I said you would die, regardless of any attempt I could make, and they escorted me away. I didn't even know that they had managed to heal you until I saw a holonet broadcast."
"Well, I hope that's not the case with Yuthura." Revan glanced at Juhani and smiled faintly, even as she frowned at Fara's discomfort. "I'm a special case, Master Fara. It was a lot of luck, if you belive in it, or the destiny of the Force if you don't. Regardless, I'm certain, after hearing about what I looked like after the attack, that I would have given myself up as a hopeless case as well." He grinned at her and Fara relaxed slightly. "So, I don't want you fretting over a choice you made Healer.
"I thank you for your concern Revan." Fara bowed once more and glanced oveer to Juhani. "You wish to ask me something, Knight Juhani?"
Caught unawares, Juhani shuffled slightly. "I wonder if you know what Yuthura's chances are of full recovery?"
"Umm, well I haven't seen her mind in the Force yet. But, considering how motive she is, the fact that she knows her name now and again and also, Jedi Revan, your report on her "locking" portions of her mind away... we have a good chance, say seventy to thirty of full recovery."
"That high?" Revan murmured and shook his head. "I'm glad, she deserves to have her life back."
"Well, she's strong." Fara glanced back at the doors. "If she hadn't been able to fight whatever it was they did, I'd have given her twenty to eighty of no recovery."
Juhani glanced at Fara and cleared her throat. "I wonder, would it be possible for me to come and observe the meditation?"
Fara frowned. "Why?"
"It is part of a vow I made to stay with her as much as possible, I owe her a rather large debt." Juhani watched Fara's face slip into a doubtful frown. "I merely wish to stay advised of her condition, Master healer."
"Well, you cannot enter the room now, Knight Juhani. Even I, with all my years of attuning my forces with Jazir, must be careful when I enter. If Jazir is disturbed, it could ruin the attempt. So, while you may stay outside Knight Juhani, you cannot enter the room. I'm sorry."
"I..." Juhani swallowed and finally nodded. "I understand Master Fara."
Revan glanced across at Juhani and frowned. He could feel his friends' exhaustion, and Revan wondered how long Juhani had been fighting her own need for sleep and for food. Her sudden confession that she saw him as a surrogate brother had hit him hard and he came to a decision.
"Look, why don't you go and get some food at the enclaves cantina and then take another nap, Juhani? I'll stay here and wait for Master Fara and Jazir to finish their meditation."
Juhani looked uncertain, but all three Jedi could hear the grumble of her stomach and she blushed. "I... I would be grateful Revan, thank you."
Revan smiled. "It's no problem Juhani, go on get out of here. If anything happens, I'll let you know as soon as Fara tells me." He laid a hand on her shoulder. "Anything for a friend"
Juhani smiled awkwardly, yet she placed her hand on Revan's, hesitantly. "Once Yuthura is recovered, I will follow you, I promise."
"Go on." Revan urged. Nodding, Juhani turned and walked down the corridor without a second glance, she trusted him completely. With a shake of his head, Revan glanced around for a seat but finding none sighed and leaned against the wall.
"That Jedi has far too much emotion," Fara murmured. "I hear most Cathar do. She will battle it for her entire life."
"Perhaps she will fight the darker side of her emotions, yes." Revan answered quietly. "But, unlike other Jedi, I believe that there is nothing wrong feeling the more positive ones. They remind us of what we fight for."
"Hmmm, interesting." Fara smiled at Revan and stepped back. "I regret that I must assist Jazir now. To provide the support Yuthura's mind needs right now, will require both of us. You're welcome to stay outside though."
"Thanks, and I will." Revan bowed as she did and he watched her step towards the doors and gently open them. As she stepped through, Revan settled on the floor of the corridor and glanced around. The afternoon sunlight streamed into the corridor and he sighed. It would be a few hours or so until Bastila would arrive, according to Vandar. He missed her, terribly, and with all that was going on he wanted to bath in the simple sweet scents and presence that made her who she was. Still, he'd made a promise to Juhani, so if Bastila arrived, he hoped she would understand. Settling back, he began to meditate, hoping that Yuthura would fight to come back to them.