A/N: Sam, after the affair, I know there's been tons of these but I felt like doing one.
Disclaimer: Don't own it. If I did....well there'd be some changes.
It's cold here, I'm cold. Cold room, cold skin, cold heart. He left me, and when he did the warmth left my life. Nothing to breath the life back into me, the warmth he provided when we lay, cuddled together on the couch.
It's cold here, and I'm alone now. It's so empty. Since he left, the room is always empty. His jacket is no longer slung over the back of the chair, his shoes no longer neatly placed by the doorway, the 2 empty glasses of wine no longer a constant fixture on the kitchen counter.
It feels empty, I feel empty. It wasn't right, I know that. He was married, he had a wife, kids. They were a family. But for a while, it felt so right. He filled this void in my life, made me whole. Now there is a hole. A hole he left me with, that I don't know how to fix.
For a time, it was just us and no one mattered. We had our own life, together and it was wonderful. The time we had was amazing. I don't know what I meant to him, but I loved him so much. I still do I guess. But the feelings are fading, and eventually they will go. Then I can move on, move away from the past.
It could never have worked, I knew that from the start. The phrase 'doomed from the start'? Well that's what it was. We both sort of came together, each lonely, and something blossomed. Something beautiful, that wilted and died.
Now it's over. All I have are memories, of happier times. When we were together, no matter how great it was, there was always a shadow, of guilt, fear of getting caught. He used to say that I deserved someone who didn't have to hide, who could take me into the light. But in those moments I didn't care, I had him.
I loved him, and I want to hope that he loved me. But now it's cold, empty, and I think I have forgotten how to love. I'm lost, broken and I want him to put me back together. He won't though, he never will again.