I have 3 RE books and played through RE 3. I have played all the other REs except zero and the remake .I have RE2 for gamecube. All rights reserved by creators of movies and games I reference in this story.
Ch.13 Alliance Broken
Nemesis strolled through the morning breeze and looked at the mail they had gotten for the next challenge.
"Well let me see here." he began. Nemesis pulled out his reading glasses and read the letter. It read:
don't be mean to your fellow tribemates, for you never know when those you hate will be the ones you depend on. The letter confused Nemesis but he went back to camp and woke up the tribe.
"What is so important that we had to get up early?" asked Claire as she stretched. Nemesis pulled out the letter and let the rest of the tribe read it. Unlike Nemesis, Jill knew exactly what the note meant. Mr.X, unfortunately, knew it too, and devised an excellent plan. While Nemesis was taking a nap, he snuck up to him. He brought his head up and saw Nemesis staring at him.
"Ahhhh!" he cried as he stumbled back. Nemesis, however, did not stir and remained sleeping. Mr.X then smiled and picked up his sacred translator. He cackled as he smashed the little device to bits. he carefully placed the remains beside Leon, who was having a snooze as well. He then decided to do chin ups over a huge garbage bin. He lifted up and up and up and up and up and up and up until suddenly, the bar broke.
"Crap!" he said as he fell into the garbage bin. Jill saw the spectacle and shook her head. Mr.X climbed out and started away from the garbage bin, only to slip on a banana peel.
"Poop!" he said as again, he fell into the garbage bin. Nemesis finally finished his nap, he stretched, did a few pushups, and ate a zombie dog leg. He reached for his translator, only to grab nothing but air. Frusterated, Nemesis looked behind him and spotted a piece of his sacred item. He saw more pieces and scratched his head.
"STARS STARS?"(How am I gonna find my translator?). something tapped him on the shoulder. He immediately whirled around and saw that a squad of Umbrella agents had come up from behind. They were the same type of guys that tried to take the G-virus from Birkin. One of them stepped forward and introduced himself.
"My name is Hunk, I see you have a dilemna on your hands," he said without any jokingness in his voice. Nemesis nodded. Hunk suddenly began dancing. The rest of the Umbrella guys joined in the fun.
"All you have to do is.....Follow the broken machine parts road!" sang Hunk in a load voice. The men sang in the same tune as The Wizard of Oz, repeating the words. Nemesis looked behind himself and saw the road. He whacked himself on the head in a DUH! motion. Hunk laughed as he broke into another song.
"You can find your translator if you just whistle!" his singing was incredibly good. Nemesis heard a rustle in the bushes and saw the Ghosts from Ghost Recon appear. They surrounded the Umbrella agents and opened fire.
"Ahhhhhhhahahahahahaha you can't kill me!" sang Hunk as he was shot. He flopped onto the ground and died. The ghosts celebrated the mission they had accomplished. Suddenly, a helicopter appeared out of nowhere. Ropes came down and the operatives from Rainbow Six descended. They quickly fanned out and took cover.
"Prepare to die you bastards!" cried the nearest Rainbow.
"You want a piece of us!" shouted a Ghost. The two squads opened fire on each other. But unfortunately, their aim was a little off since their latest games. Nemesis shrugged and followed the trail as the two forces proceeded to settle things in a better way, Hockey. Nemesis followed his little trail until he saw where it led to. Leon was sitting on the last piece, having a nap.
"STARS!" cried Nemesis. He quickly ran to cop and grabbed his pants. Jill and Claire were off practicing their aim when they heard a sudden sound.Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiippppppppppp.
"What was that?" asked Jill.
"Sounds like someone got a huge wedgie," answered Claire. The two chicks giggled as they knew exactly who had gotten the wedgie. Chief Irons was shaving his mustache when all of a sudden, a piercing scream sounded through the entire city.
"Yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyaaaaaaaaaaaooooooooooooowwwwwwwwww!" screamed Leon.
"God damnit!" he cried as his razor sliced his upper lip. Nemesis smiled as Leon hung from a flag pole Nemesis had found. Leon had a look of sheer pain on his face.
"You son of a bitch i'm going to kill you when I get down there!" he cried at Nemesis. Nemesis put his hand out in front of himself and waved his hand towards his face in a "Bring it on" notion. Leon didn't take kindly to Nemesis' confidence fo he wriggled and wriggled until his boxers ripped.
"Ahhhh shit," he cried before his face hit the ground. Nemesis nodded and left Leon to watch stars drift around his head. Meanwhile, Mr.X had fallen into the garbage bin another ten times and had said every word for shit he could think of. The tribe then hiked to the arklay mountains to do the next reward challenge. Leon waddled behind Tyrant in a very painful manner. In a clearing, Chief Irons was waiting for them. Jill looked at his face and saw that he had cut himself shaving. Leon saw it to and asked Chief Irons how he did that.
"HOW DID I DO THIS!" screamed Chief Irons. Steam poured from his ears. He continued yelling at Leon for another 5 minutes before finally calming down. He went on to explain the challenge. The tribe mates would form groups of two and would be asked a series of questions. The pair who got the most correct would win a trip to a spa. Jill and Claire banded together immediately. Mr.X and Tyrant shook hands. That left Leon and Nemesis. Leon put on a disgusted look and stood beside him. Nemesis growled.
"The first question is, which RE game is the Licker featured in?" Chief Irons said to the contestants. Jill and Claire said RE2, Tyrant and Mr.X said RE1, and Leon and Nemesis said RE2. Tyrant whacked himself on the head for the getting the answer wrong.
"AGggggrrraaahhh" he cried as his claws got stuck in his forehead. Mr.X rolled his eyes and turned to Tyrant.
"For christ' sake you retard you are supposed to pull out your claws like this-" he started as he yanked out the huge claw. Tyrant started whimpering and hid in a corner of a nearby tree.
"I thought I trained you now come Tyrant!" called Mr.X. Tyrant immediately ran toward Mr.X and jumped on him.
"Ok ok now sit!" ordered Mr.X. Tyrant sat down and the challenge continued. The tribe heard a rustle in the bushes and The Master Chief entered the clearing. He walked over to Jill and Claire.
"Excuse me ladies but have either of you seen Claire Redfield?" he asked them. Jill smiled and asked The chief a question.
"What does she look like sir?"
"Well she is about 20 years old with brown hair and she is super hot" answered the chief.
"Nope don't know her," answered Jill.
"Aww nuts now where am I going to look" said the chief as he walked away.
"Riiight" said Chief Irons. He immediately asked the next question.
"How long does it take to synthesize the G-virus vaccine?"
Jill and Claire answered 10 seconds, Mr.X and Tyrant answered 15 seconds, and Nemesis and Leon answered 5 seconds. Once again Claire and Jill were the only team to answer correctly. "The challenge dragged on. The tribes were locked in a battle of wits as they desperately fought to outlast each other. There was also a great musical number done by Nemesis himself with Claire and Jill doing backup sing-", Billy suddenly appeared from nowhere and looked up into the sky.
"You are by far the most annoying narrarator I have ever heard!" he cried, shaking his fist.
"Oh ya? well how about I nararate a certain accident in your pants!" boomed the announcer.
"Do your worst you pile of.....Ahhhhhh!" Billy cried out as he ran from the clearing, well more like waddled since there was a huge crap in his pants. With Billy gone, the challenge could continue.
"Alright final question!" Chief Irons was exhausted. He had a cramp from standing up. The scores were all tied at 4. Jill and Claire put determined looks on their faces, Tyrant and Mr.X braced themselves, and Leon made a balloon animal. The question was which actor plays Sir Lancelot in Monty Python and The Holy Grail. Jill scratched her head and then her face lit up. Her and Claire's answer was John Cleese. Leon and Nemesis said Elijah Wood, and Mr.X and Tyrant answered Alec Trebeck. The tension mounted as Chief Irons read the correct answer.
"John Cleese! that means Claire and Jill are the winners!" The two chicks jumped for joy and were guided to the spa while the men sulked home.
next time on RE survivor gameshow: The two ladies get way more than they expect at the Raccoon spa.
Ch.13 Alliance Broken
Nemesis strolled through the morning breeze and looked at the mail they had gotten for the next challenge.
"Well let me see here." he began. Nemesis pulled out his reading glasses and read the letter. It read:
don't be mean to your fellow tribemates, for you never know when those you hate will be the ones you depend on. The letter confused Nemesis but he went back to camp and woke up the tribe.
"What is so important that we had to get up early?" asked Claire as she stretched. Nemesis pulled out the letter and let the rest of the tribe read it. Unlike Nemesis, Jill knew exactly what the note meant. Mr.X, unfortunately, knew it too, and devised an excellent plan. While Nemesis was taking a nap, he snuck up to him. He brought his head up and saw Nemesis staring at him.
"Ahhhh!" he cried as he stumbled back. Nemesis, however, did not stir and remained sleeping. Mr.X then smiled and picked up his sacred translator. He cackled as he smashed the little device to bits. he carefully placed the remains beside Leon, who was having a snooze as well. He then decided to do chin ups over a huge garbage bin. He lifted up and up and up and up and up and up and up until suddenly, the bar broke.
"Crap!" he said as he fell into the garbage bin. Jill saw the spectacle and shook her head. Mr.X climbed out and started away from the garbage bin, only to slip on a banana peel.
"Poop!" he said as again, he fell into the garbage bin. Nemesis finally finished his nap, he stretched, did a few pushups, and ate a zombie dog leg. He reached for his translator, only to grab nothing but air. Frusterated, Nemesis looked behind him and spotted a piece of his sacred item. He saw more pieces and scratched his head.
"STARS STARS?"(How am I gonna find my translator?). something tapped him on the shoulder. He immediately whirled around and saw that a squad of Umbrella agents had come up from behind. They were the same type of guys that tried to take the G-virus from Birkin. One of them stepped forward and introduced himself.
"My name is Hunk, I see you have a dilemna on your hands," he said without any jokingness in his voice. Nemesis nodded. Hunk suddenly began dancing. The rest of the Umbrella guys joined in the fun.
"All you have to do is.....Follow the broken machine parts road!" sang Hunk in a load voice. The men sang in the same tune as The Wizard of Oz, repeating the words. Nemesis looked behind himself and saw the road. He whacked himself on the head in a DUH! motion. Hunk laughed as he broke into another song.
"You can find your translator if you just whistle!" his singing was incredibly good. Nemesis heard a rustle in the bushes and saw the Ghosts from Ghost Recon appear. They surrounded the Umbrella agents and opened fire.
"Ahhhhhhhahahahahahaha you can't kill me!" sang Hunk as he was shot. He flopped onto the ground and died. The ghosts celebrated the mission they had accomplished. Suddenly, a helicopter appeared out of nowhere. Ropes came down and the operatives from Rainbow Six descended. They quickly fanned out and took cover.
"Prepare to die you bastards!" cried the nearest Rainbow.
"You want a piece of us!" shouted a Ghost. The two squads opened fire on each other. But unfortunately, their aim was a little off since their latest games. Nemesis shrugged and followed the trail as the two forces proceeded to settle things in a better way, Hockey. Nemesis followed his little trail until he saw where it led to. Leon was sitting on the last piece, having a nap.
"STARS!" cried Nemesis. He quickly ran to cop and grabbed his pants. Jill and Claire were off practicing their aim when they heard a sudden sound.Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiippppppppppp.
"What was that?" asked Jill.
"Sounds like someone got a huge wedgie," answered Claire. The two chicks giggled as they knew exactly who had gotten the wedgie. Chief Irons was shaving his mustache when all of a sudden, a piercing scream sounded through the entire city.
"Yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyaaaaaaaaaaaooooooooooooowwwwwwwwww!" screamed Leon.
"God damnit!" he cried as his razor sliced his upper lip. Nemesis smiled as Leon hung from a flag pole Nemesis had found. Leon had a look of sheer pain on his face.
"You son of a bitch i'm going to kill you when I get down there!" he cried at Nemesis. Nemesis put his hand out in front of himself and waved his hand towards his face in a "Bring it on" notion. Leon didn't take kindly to Nemesis' confidence fo he wriggled and wriggled until his boxers ripped.
"Ahhhh shit," he cried before his face hit the ground. Nemesis nodded and left Leon to watch stars drift around his head. Meanwhile, Mr.X had fallen into the garbage bin another ten times and had said every word for shit he could think of. The tribe then hiked to the arklay mountains to do the next reward challenge. Leon waddled behind Tyrant in a very painful manner. In a clearing, Chief Irons was waiting for them. Jill looked at his face and saw that he had cut himself shaving. Leon saw it to and asked Chief Irons how he did that.
"HOW DID I DO THIS!" screamed Chief Irons. Steam poured from his ears. He continued yelling at Leon for another 5 minutes before finally calming down. He went on to explain the challenge. The tribe mates would form groups of two and would be asked a series of questions. The pair who got the most correct would win a trip to a spa. Jill and Claire banded together immediately. Mr.X and Tyrant shook hands. That left Leon and Nemesis. Leon put on a disgusted look and stood beside him. Nemesis growled.
"The first question is, which RE game is the Licker featured in?" Chief Irons said to the contestants. Jill and Claire said RE2, Tyrant and Mr.X said RE1, and Leon and Nemesis said RE2. Tyrant whacked himself on the head for the getting the answer wrong.
"AGggggrrraaahhh" he cried as his claws got stuck in his forehead. Mr.X rolled his eyes and turned to Tyrant.
"For christ' sake you retard you are supposed to pull out your claws like this-" he started as he yanked out the huge claw. Tyrant started whimpering and hid in a corner of a nearby tree.
"I thought I trained you now come Tyrant!" called Mr.X. Tyrant immediately ran toward Mr.X and jumped on him.
"Ok ok now sit!" ordered Mr.X. Tyrant sat down and the challenge continued. The tribe heard a rustle in the bushes and The Master Chief entered the clearing. He walked over to Jill and Claire.
"Excuse me ladies but have either of you seen Claire Redfield?" he asked them. Jill smiled and asked The chief a question.
"What does she look like sir?"
"Well she is about 20 years old with brown hair and she is super hot" answered the chief.
"Nope don't know her," answered Jill.
"Aww nuts now where am I going to look" said the chief as he walked away.
"Riiight" said Chief Irons. He immediately asked the next question.
"How long does it take to synthesize the G-virus vaccine?"
Jill and Claire answered 10 seconds, Mr.X and Tyrant answered 15 seconds, and Nemesis and Leon answered 5 seconds. Once again Claire and Jill were the only team to answer correctly. "The challenge dragged on. The tribes were locked in a battle of wits as they desperately fought to outlast each other. There was also a great musical number done by Nemesis himself with Claire and Jill doing backup sing-", Billy suddenly appeared from nowhere and looked up into the sky.
"You are by far the most annoying narrarator I have ever heard!" he cried, shaking his fist.
"Oh ya? well how about I nararate a certain accident in your pants!" boomed the announcer.
"Do your worst you pile of.....Ahhhhhh!" Billy cried out as he ran from the clearing, well more like waddled since there was a huge crap in his pants. With Billy gone, the challenge could continue.
"Alright final question!" Chief Irons was exhausted. He had a cramp from standing up. The scores were all tied at 4. Jill and Claire put determined looks on their faces, Tyrant and Mr.X braced themselves, and Leon made a balloon animal. The question was which actor plays Sir Lancelot in Monty Python and The Holy Grail. Jill scratched her head and then her face lit up. Her and Claire's answer was John Cleese. Leon and Nemesis said Elijah Wood, and Mr.X and Tyrant answered Alec Trebeck. The tension mounted as Chief Irons read the correct answer.
"John Cleese! that means Claire and Jill are the winners!" The two chicks jumped for joy and were guided to the spa while the men sulked home.
next time on RE survivor gameshow: The two ladies get way more than they expect at the Raccoon spa.