My Big Fat Aquios Wedding

By Nicolle

1st Note: OOC-ness ahead.

2nd Note: As we've all noticed, there's been some disagreement as to whether or not Albel's left arm is real or artificial. I have the definitive answer: If you get the Crimson Scourge, you get the second part of Albel's history in the dictionary. It tells you that his left arm is artificial. Let it be known that I am ignoring that for this fic. Because I got a poetic license for Christmas last year.

3rd Note: The 'Bachelor Party' chapter is coming up. Send me some ideas people!!!

Disclaimer: Star Ocean 3 belongs to Tri-Ace/Ubisoft/Square-Enix.

Chapter Five:

Part One: It's called a bridal shower.

"Albel?"

"Yes, Soufflé?"

Peppita checked her anger, and opted to annoy. "What's your favorite color?" she asked in the sweetest voice she could muster.

"Blue."

"Blue?"

"Blue."

"Not red? Or Black?"

"Blue."

"Uh... Are you kidding?"

"No. Most men like the color blue better than others. Ask Cliff."

"Oh."

"Anything else?"

"I don't think so..."

Albel looked up from cleaning his gauntlet. "Does this have something to do with the wedding?"

"Kinda... Oh! Look at the Time! Gotta go!"

Albel's burned hand grabbed Peppita by the back of the shirt. "You aren't going anywhere until you tell me what's going on." He spun her around and let her hang in the air a few inches from his nose.

"Hmm... I'll make you a deal. If I tell you and you blush, you have to stop calling me Soufflé."

He eyed her warily. "Deal."

Peppita's smile threatened to split her face. "We just need to know what color Nel's lingerie should be."

Albel's cheeks went red and he dropped the circus star.

Peppita laughed. "A deal's a deal, Nox. See you later!" She ran off before he could recover.

When the Black Knight finally had his composure solidly back in place, he sat back and thought, fingers drumming on gauntlet sitting in his lap. The tap-tap of his fingers solidly drilled the image his mind happily drew of his intended out of his head. That done, he finished cleaning the gauntlet while concocting his revenge. He didn't have much time, Peppita's distraction didn't alert him to the presence of Woltar's wife and he had no warning when the bucket of cold water drenched him.

"You bad boy! You shouldn't think about Lady Nel that way!" She grabbed him by his braids while he scrambled, trying to make a break for it. "It's time for your hair washing!"

"HELP!"

Nel looked up at the second floor of the inn while Elena combed the knots out of her hair. "He sounds like he's having fun."

"Undoubtedly."

"STOP TRYING TO WASH MY HAIR IN BLEACH!"

"A great time..." Nel muttered as she leaned to the side with the pulling of a knot.

Sophia hid her giggles behind her hand. "We have a surprise for you today."

Nel looked up. "What?"

"A bridal shower!"

Nel looked confused. "What's a bridal shower?"

"It's an Earthling custom. It's where the bridesmaids get a whole bunch of the bride's female friends and relatives together to shower the bride with gifts."

"Okay." Nel leaned to the side as Elena pulled on another knot. "Why?"

Sophia leaned with Nel. "Well, on Earth there isn't a bride price and there isn't a dowry of any sort involved to help the newlyweds start off. So the friends of the bride get together and buy them the things they need for a house."

Nel leaned the other way with another knot. "How do you know what I'll like?"

Sophia leaned the other way. "Remember when Mirage took you out three months ago?"

"I have a sinking suspicion that you've all become a lot more devious since I've been home."

"Something like that."

Nel sat back up straight and Sophia followed suit. "So what if Albel doesn't like what you get?"

"Cliff covered that."

"Very devious." Nel looked up at the ceiling. "It's been really quiet for the last few minutes."

"Must have been the chloroform..." Elena muttered.

"What?"

"Oh... nothing," she said with a smile.

Sophia stood as Elena finished up and grabbed Nel's hands. "Come on! Professor Elena will catch up!" She dragged Nel from the inn and into the streets toward the inventor's guild office. Inside, a large group of women were playing party games. When Nel stepped inside, a cheer went up and several of her subordinates grabbed her arms, dragged her to the front table, and lunch began.

Meanwhile...

Mayu ran into the inn, up the stairs, and kicked the door to Albel's room inn. "Commander!"

"No," Albel muttered, "Today is not going well." He turned to his cook. "Yes, Mayu?"

"Um... Can I make your wedding cake? Please?" She ran up to his and grabbed his good arm, her eyes wide and starry. "It'll be fantastic! I'll decorate it with roses and hearts and stars and--"

Albel put his injured hand over her mouth. "You'll have to argue over it with the Killer chef."

The glaze in her eyes cleared as she thought about it. "Okay! Come with me!" She dragged him by his good arm out of the inn and all the way to Suferio.

Back to the party...

Nel looked at the large and rather imposing box. She looked around it at Sophia who smiled and waved at her to open it. She looked at Claire, who was seating on her right and currently eating her fifth slice of cake. "I'm scared."

"It's from Sophia. I highly doubt it's anything bad." She finished off the fifth slice and reached for a sixth. "I mean, really, Nel. You've liked everything else."

The Crimson Blade looked at the box. "You have a point." She pulled the bow off the box and pulled the colorful wrapping aside. The box underneath was unlabeled. She popped the lid. Inside were three cherry wood boxes. She lifted one and blanched at the weight. Enlisting the cake fiend's help, she managed to get all three boxes out. And then she opened them. Inside two of the boxes was a full set of china, all the way down to the gravy boat. In the third was a full set of real silverware. "Wow."

"Oh! I was so worried you wouldn't like it."

Nel picked up a plate. It was pure white with a black rim. Inside the black rim rested tiny gold dragons in even tinier trees. "They're beautiful." She looked at Sophia. "Thank you."

Sophia bowed with a smile in her eyes.

Back to Albel and Mayu!

How Mayu managed to dodge all the monsters on the way to Suferio, Albel wasn't sure. They came to a full halt in front of the Killer Chef; Mayu panting and Albel looking wholly amused.

"I want to make the wedding cake!"

The green man eyed her suspiciously. "Why?"

"Because I have served Lord Albel since I was little and I deserve too!" She said, letting go of Albel long enough to put her hands on her hips. "Besides, making a cake does not involve anything's immanent death."

The Killer Chef continued to look at her suspiciously, but Mayu stood her ground, unfazed by the knife he started playing with. Suddenly, his face spit into a maniacal grin that did Albel proud. "You can make the cake!"

"Yes!" The starry-eyed girl jumped and danced around. She came to a dead stop and looked at Albel. "Oh, uh… Sorry, Commander." She drew herself up and coughed. "Ahem. What kind of cake do you want?"

He reached around her and began to push her back towards Peterny. "You need to ask Nel about that."

She took a few steps ahead of him and turned to face him. "No. I'm making it for you. What kind of cake do you want?"

Albel crossed his arms over his chest and cocked his head to the side.

"Oh... yeah... chocolate. Right." She turned around and marched back to Peterny. Albel wondered if he could get Mirage to give him something for the coming headache when he got back.

Part Two: The Mother-in-Law, the Quilt, and Nel's Wardrobe

I looked at the last package. It was as big as the rest, but it was from my future mother-in-law. I was never any good at hiding it when I was displeased and I was very afraid of what was in the package. It felt like it would be soft. I took a quick sip of tea, steeled myself for the worst, and tore off the wrapping. I pulled a quilt from the wrapping. It was the one Lady Anne had been working on when I had spoken to her last. When I'd said I didn't want to marry her son. She'd been working on the quilt that would grace our marriage bed. For moment, I thought I was going to be ill. I still hadn't decided I was going to go through with this. Of course, I hadn't been trying to stop it either. I looked down at the quilt in my hands. Did I really want to marry Albel the Wicked?

Claire elbowed Nel in the stomach. "Say something!" she hissed.

Nel recovered quickly. "I'm sorry. It's just so beautiful; I didn't know what to say."

The crowd of women broke out into laughter and clapped.

Lady Anne leaned over to Mirage. "That was a nice save. She'll make a good daughter-in-law."

Mirage rolled her eyes. "Well, you're more subtle about it, but it's pretty obvious where Albel's wickedness comes from."

The woman smiled with pride as Nel was handed a piece of cake.

Trudging across the Plains

Just as the headache was starting to wear off, he had the misfortune of bumping into Roger.

"Watch where you're going, ya idiot!"

"Hello, Roger, it's nice to see you too." Albel started to walk away.

"Hey! Albel! I thought it was you!"

The knight sighed and turned around. "Really? Who else walks around with hair like this and a sword that talks?"

Roger ignored him. "Listen up! I'm really angry at you!"

"Why? Did you get up on the wrong side of the cage this morning?"

Roger growled. "You're getting married and you didn't even tell me! Even worse, you're getting married to that beautiful lady. She's too good for you!"

"I'll let her know that." Albel turned away.

"I'm not done talking to you!"

"You never are. What do you want, Huxley?"

"I want to know when the Bachelor Party is! I'm a real man and I should be there for it!"

Albel sighed and rubbed his head. The headache was getting worse. "Roger, you wouldn't know what a real man was if he was looking right at you. As that's currently the case, feel free to piss off."

Roger grabbed one of Albel's braids. "When's the Bachelor Party?!"

Albel grabbed Roger and lifted him up so they were eye to eye. The look in the Captain's eyes made the Menodix tremble uncontrollably. "Don't ever do that again."

"Yes, Sir."

He dropped Roger, who hit the ground with a thud. "Ask Cliff when the party is if you're so keen on going." Albel turned around and decided that he needed to go to Arias. The moment he stepped into town the few members of the Crimson Blade who weren't at Nel's shower were following him through the streets. Too exhausted to care, he walked into the newly rebuilt temple and found Milenya. "I have a massive headache, m'lady. Would you be able to do something about it? Please?"

The woman smiled kindly and rummaged around in her bag while Albel sat in the nearest chair looking miserable. A young Crimson Blade member was bent over looking at him.

Albel's ruby eyes slid toward the young woman. "Yes?"

"Uh... Are you really Albel the Wicked?"

He looked away. "Last I checked."

"Wow... Can I touch you?"

Too tired to care, he shrugged. "Sure."

She poked his gauntlet. He decided to screw with her and leaned over a bit before sitting back up.

"Are you sure you're Albel the Wicked?"

Milenya came back with a small vial filled with an emerald green fluid. "He really is Albel Nox, dear." She shooed the girl off. "Here, Lord Albel, drink this." He popped the cork and threw it back, wrinkling his nose a little at the super sweet taste. "Your headache will be gone in a few minutes. Just be sure to take it easy."

He nodded. "Thank you."

"You're very welcome."

He stood and left the small town. The young Crimson Blade members watched him go.

"Wow. He didn't even say anything mean," one girl said.

"I still don't think it's him," another said.

"And I think you all need to be back at your posts," Adray said.

"Yes, Sir!" they yelled before scattering.

Shaking his head, Adray followed the Captain out of the town.

You'll look great in this! Really!

"What is this exactly?" Nel said. The crowd of earlier had dwindled down to a few close friends and they had dragged Nel from the shower to a small room in the inn.

"It's another Earth tradition. It's called a Lingerie Party," Maria said. She opened the drawer on the provided dresser and pulled out several bags.

"It's also known as 'Dress Up the Bride in Revealing Bed Wear While Her Friends Decide if the Groom Will Like It,'" Mirage said.

"I'm not sure I'm going to like this," Nel muttered.

"Sure you will," Tynave said. She opened a bag, pulled out something white and lacey as if to confirm its existence, and then tossed the bag to Nel. "Try this on."

A Manly Heart to Heart

Adray walked along side Albel for a while, trying to gage the young man's demeanor. Eventually he gave up. "Damn boy! But you have a face like your father's."

Albel looked at him. "How so?"

"Totally unreadable when you're calm."

Albel nodded, but remained silent.

"So you're going to marry Nevelle's daughter."

"That's the plan."

"Do you love her?"

Albel snorted. "It's arranged, Fool. Love isn't a part of the equation."

"The question stands."

Albel looked away.

"I see. Are you going to tell her?"

"She hasn't decided whether or not she really wants to go through with it. I'd rather not confuse the issue."

Adray snorted. "You may look like your mother, but you're just like your old man."

Albel looked at him, genuinely interested. "Really?"

"I remember the first time your dad told your mum he loved her. Nevelle and I had come around to visit and maybe get away with a bit of your mum's cooking. The three of us were going fishing. As we went out the door, Glou said he loved her and he'd be back soon. Well, you know your mum. She always looked and acted perfectly. You could never accuse her of a breach of etiquette. Well, she stood there like she'd been frozen to the spot and her face was a nice, bright pink. She couldn't look at him for the next few months without blushing."

Albel laughed.

"Yeah, your dad was good at flooring the great Lady Anne." They stopped outside the gate to Peterny. "I'll leave you off here. Stay out of trouble."

"Same to you." Albel walked back to the inn.

Collision Course...

After several hours of humiliation, Claire handed her the last bag. "Last one," she said, "Promise." Nel grumbled and pulled it on while the girls went about repacking everything. She'd been shoved into angel and devil costumes, a white doll outfit, a slutty school uniform, and a black teddy; just to name a few. The last thing left was something Maria had called a 'French Maid.' It consisted of a very skimpy, black and white, maid's uniform that, while covering more flesh than most of the lingerie looked much more lascivious.

There was a commotion outside the room and the girls left to check on it, leaving Nel alone. With no one to watch her, she posed in front of the mirror, seductively biting the tip of a finger. And then she noticed Albel's reflection in the mirror; his face calm and expressionless. She turned just as he walked out. Hurrying to the door, she came face to face with Claire.

"Where did he go?"

Claire looked over her shoulder at Cliff who was preoccupied with something going on outside. "Cliff? What's going on?"

"Albel just threw a bucket of cold water over his head."

Claire turned back to Nel. "He likes it!" She pushed Nel back in the room.

Cliff waited for a moment and let Albel shake the water from his hair. "So... What did you see?"

"The fantasy I'm going to be having for the next four weeks."