Title: How to give a chemistry teacher a breakdown
Chapter: one: The Plan
Author: scottylass - though mysticheero's torture in chemistry was brilliant research reference.
Warnings: Maybe reference to Yaoi, some mild swear words etc. etc. etc.
Disclaimer: I don't own any characters sobs if I did then GW would be very interesting AND there would be no Relena or maybe I would insert her in it just to kill her. insert evil laugh here.
Summary: Duo, Heero and the rest of the pilots are in a chemistry lesson, the teacher is evil so they all decide to have some fun… Slightly Au (I think)
Authors notes: I got this idea while in a chemistry lesson. My teacher is evil and I have thought about getting my own back on her but I like the idea of the pilots doing it better (hee hee hee hee). Anyway this is just for fun so review and everyone who does will get their favourite pilot (naked). I suppose this is slightly Au and just for the record it's 1x2 and 3x4 in here but I don't now if I'm gonna bring anyone in for Wufei yet cause I'm planning on this only being around 2-3 chapters long but you never know huh?
Dedication: This is dedicated to MysticHeero who has to suffer through Chemistry with me.
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After the wars the pilots decided that they would like to try out being normal teenagers including going to school, although they had to force Duo because he didn't like the idea of teachers telling him what to do when he was probably smarter than them. Eventually they managed to convince him, well Heero managed to convince him if you get what I mean. So they were now attending school and they were actually enjoying their classes even though they knew most of the stuff being taught. Well they enjoyed most of their classes with the exception of Chemistry because their teacher was downright evil and Duo was convinced that she was the devil in disguise. Ever since their first chemistry lesson their teacher Kate had been really mean to them and had just picked on them right from the beginning. Duo couldn't stand her and she seemed to pick on him and Heero the most, and eventually they just tuned her voice out and did their own thing in class, besides they knew it all already.
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Duo ran along the corridor right toward an unsuspecting Quatre and jumped on his back. Quatre let out a loud yelp and just managed to keep his balance, although it was Trowa that had managed to catch him and steady him.
"Hey, Duo. Erm can you please get off me now?" Duo got off of Quatre's back and turned around looking at Trowa who was standing behind Quatre glaring in Duo's direction.
"Ha ha em yeah, I thought it would be a good idea to get off you now Trowa looked like he was about to kill me," Duo replied nervously. Trowa just continued glaring until Quatre turned around and captured his lips in a searing kiss. Duo was used to this by now so he just walked off down the hallway towards his locker to wait for Heero. He wasn't surprised to see that Heero was waiting in front of his locker for him.
"Hey Hee-Chan, what ya doing?" Heero just smiled at Duo and replied in a cocky tone
"I'm waiting here for your lazy behind. But I guess you were more tired than normal this morning huh? I didn't tire you out last night did I?" Duo blushed and ignored Heero's comment while he turned to get his stuff out of his locker.
"Hey Hee-Chan what class do we have first?" When there was no reply Duo brought his head out of the locker to see what was wrong with Heero. He saw the disgusted look on Heero's face and then Heero shivered and said
"Um Chemistry Duo. How can you forget with a bitch like that for a teacher? Have you done the homework she asked us to do? Cause I haven't." Heero looked like he was deep in thought after that and he was startled when Duo began laughing.
"What are you laughing at?"
"Oh it's just I didn't do the homework. I forgot so I can't wait to see her reaction, it's just so funny the way her face scrunches up. I swear she looks like a donkey's ass when she does that. Anyway Heero do you fancy making a bet with me?" Heero just stood thinking for a minute before he replied
"A bet what kind of bet?" Duo began smirking
"Well I just wonder how long it will take before Kate makes some nasty comment to us or remark about us. What do you think are we on?" Duo jumped when another voice interrupted
"We'll take you up on that bet."
"Shinigami! Trowa you have gotta stop that your gonna give me a heart attack one of these days. So my friend how long do you think then?" Trowa stood thinking for a minute before he answered
"I would say about ten minutes. What do you think Quatre?" Quatre gave Trowa a dazzling smile before answering
"I agree with you Trowa I would say about ten minutes."
"Okay Hee-Chan your turn." Heero smirked
"Hmm I would say about five minutes. What about you Duo?"
"Well I think your all being too generous. I give it about three minutes. Oh and Hee-Chan if I win you know what I want as a reward don't you?" Heero gave Duo a nod
"Yes I do but don't forget what I want if I win." Heero raised his eyebrow suggestively and Duo gulped and nodded in agreement.
"I know but we better make our way to class before we're late. You know what she's like if we're late." They all nodded and began walking towards their Chemistry class and before long they were standing outside the classroom. Heero and Duo took deep breaths before walking in, after all Kate treated them worse than anyone else.
They entered the class, took their seats around their shared table, not surprisingly Wufei was already there so they said a quick hello and began to unpack the various things that they would need for lesson. Duo looked at everyone and started the timer on his watch. Kate took the register and told them their grades from the last test that they had done. Heero and Duo used to always pass these tests first time with a very high score but Kate had said they were cheating, so they did their best to fail these first time around now so that she couldn't accuse them of cheating again. Kate came to their grades and read them out to the class
"Heero you got 36 and Duo you got 35, which are both fails. I thought you said you had done this before, if that was the case then why did you both fail it?" Duo stopped his timer and turned to the others ignoring Kate
"See I won, I won it took all of three minutes and thirty seconds." He then turned and addressed Kate
"Wow Kate you really didn't hold back today did you? Are you in a bad mood? Well your always in a bad mood but what I mean is are you in a worse mood than usual?" Various members of the class were snickering at this point including the other pilots. Heero decided that he would back Duo up
"Um, Kate. Can you please just teach us then because I'm getting fed up going through this every single lesson and my patience is wearing thin" Kate saw the glare that Heero was giving her but she chose to ignore it and began to speak to Duo again instead, after all Heero was only a child what could he do?
"I do not like this attitude Duo. Now can you please tell me why you skipped last lesson?"
"I didn't skip last lesson I was doing coursework for English in the computer room. I sent you one of those apology note things to tell you." Duo retorted
"Well I didn't get it."
"Yeah well, that's not my fault." The other pilots could tell that Duo was beginning to snap and lose control because his sarcasm was coming out in full flow and his voice was becoming colder. Everyone in the room was staring at what was happening now.
"Nothings ever your fault is it Duo?" Kate's reply had everyone whispering because they didn't think she was allowed to be that cheeky to students that had not done anything wrong. Duo's face had grown hard and his eyes were narrowed when he replied
"Well no actually, it isn't but now that you mention it I think that everything is your fault." Everyone gasped at this comment and they were shocked when Heero added a comment of his own
"Yes don't you ever think that the reason people in your class fail tests is due to the fact that you are a crap teacher?" Duo was trying his best not to laugh when Kate began speaking again
"Okay then if you two are not up here at 11:30 on Friday morning for a re-test, then you are both off this course. You are both lucky I have kept you on it this long." Heero and Duo just started laughing and nodded to Kate before they both began writing something in their notebooks.
It wasn't long before lesson was over and the pilots had a free period so for Duo's benefit they decided to go get something to eat and have a chat about what had just happened in Chemistry. They sat down under a large Beech tree in the grounds and ate their food; surprisingly it was Duo that brought up the Chemistry lesson
"Wouldn't it be hilarious if Kate found out that me and Heero used to be Gundam pilots and that I liked to specialise in bombs. Boy I would love to see her face now that would be something to remember until your dying day." Everyone agreed with Duo and they couldn't help but laugh. Wufei then spoke up
"It was a terrible injustice what she did to you in class. I mean you hadn't done anything wrong." Duo just nodded to Wufei and then he spoke again
"So Hee-Chan about my reward…."
"Yes you'll get it but you'll have to wait until we are home before I give you it though."
"Oh alright then I suppose that's okay." Duo beamed at the confused look on everyone's face and then just winked at them all. All of a sudden Duo jumped up and shouted out
"I have a great idea. How would you all like to get our own back on Kate?" Duo waited for everyone's answer. Everyone nodded and surprisingly enough Wufei was even nodding.
"Okay then here's what we are going to do…."
TBC