Louis headed back to his office, not able to stand being so close
to his son at the moment, not knowing the pain that Elmer would be in soon
once he found out what his father had just done. Louis was able to hold
things together long enough to get to his office but once he was in the
privacy of the room, he collapsed into his desk chair, grief for both Lona
and Elmer overwhelming him. The thought of Lona's death, that he was going
to lose his friend, broke his heart. There had been so much loss lately,
way too much from his way of thinking.
Then there was how the situation would effect Elmer. It seemed like his relationship with his son had never been as strong as Louis would have liked for it to have been. He supposed their problem had started at first simply due to the fact that Elmer shouldn't have been there at all.
Now, though, he didn't really understand why they still had the problems that they did. He had to have failed in some way. Maybe he hadn't tried hard enough to get through to his son, to show Elmer how much he loved him and now.... He had some vague hope that Elmer might understand. After all, Lona had clearly stated her wishes should she ever suffer an irrecoverable injury or illness. Surely if Elmer loved Lona as much as Louis felt that his son did, he would want to honor her last requests.
Louis knew that things weren't that clear cut though, especially with all of the unknowns surrounding Lona's condition. How could they honestly say that there was no hope for Lona to recover and yet at the same time with what Hook had seen on the EEG....
"Louis?" Chris called his name softly as she entered the office.
Sympathy washed over her at the sight of the expression on the older doctor's face. Hook had told her about what had happened in the ER recently, about how Louis had lost his ex-wife, so she couldn't imagine how hard this had to be for him, to be facing losing a friend like this and then maybe.... No, she wouldn't even let herself think about that, forced that thought firmly away. Elmer was sick, true, but not seriously ill and Hook seemed totally fine. She just wished that she could say the same for Lona.
"I gave it to Hook." Louis said as he looked up at Chris with despair in his eyes. Although he knew that it was what he had to do, that he had to do his best to carry out Lona's last wishes, the entire thing felt so, so wrong. "I didn't tell Elmer. I couldn't stand to." Maybe that had been a cowardly decision, to not be the one to break the bad news.
It had certainly felt like one to him but try as he might he just couldn't bring himself to watch his son's heart be broken when he found out that Lona was going to die. Elmer had been through so much. How much more could that poor boy take? Would it help him that there would be no funeral, none of the public morning to go through? Louis wanted to believe that it might but deep down he felt that the lack of a proper way to say goodbye would probably make Elmer even worse.
"How is Lona?" Chris asked gently as she walked around the desk to lay a comforting hand on Louis's shoulder. She wanted to say something,
anything, that would make this better and yet there was nothing that she could do.
"Dying." Louis almost shook as he said that, admitting out loud what he had felt in his heart since the first time that he saw Lona after the cardiac arrest. "She's dying. Hook thinks that she's having seizures now and the medications aren't controlling them."
Chris winced slightly at this latest bit of news. She knew all too well the damage that uncontrolled seizures could do to the brain,
especially if they went on for an extended period.
"She even left instructions for what she wanted done." Louis shook his head as he thought of Lona's instructions. "Cremation, no funeral, no flowers." Okay, he knew for experience how hard funerals were but there was also something, a bit of comfort, to them too, to being able to do one last thing for someone that you loved. Could they still do that even though Lona hadn't wanted a funeral? Maybe some sort of service before the actual cremation? He was sure doing something would be important for Elmer, something to let him say goodbye.
"Did Hook say what he thought about taking her off of the machines?" Chris asked gently. Okay, especially with seizures going on,
things didn't sound good but still it had only been a few hours since Lona got sick. How could they give up so quickly on her? Didn't Lona deserve a little more time?
"He didn't say or if he did, I didn't feel like staying to listen."
Louis said with a shake of his head. Even as he spoke, his mind was running over what he would need to do to handle things after Lona... Even without a funeral or a burial, there would be so many things that would be necessary for him to do. The obituary... He shook his head once more as he thought of it. It just seemed so wrong to be planning things, to be thinking of how to handle Lona's death, when she was still technically clinging to life.
Chris looked at Louis helplessly, not sure of what to say. Talking about Lona dying was tremendously upsetting, not only because talking about it meant facing the fact that they were about to lose a friend but because of the fear that it stirred in her mind that Hook could be next. She looked around the room, looking for a distraction from her fear-riddled thoughts. "Hey, looks like something came through the fax for you."
Louis took the paper Chris held out for him, silently reading for a moment before shaking his head slowly. "She even wrote out her own obituary. The lawyer must have found it after we talked."
"What?" Chris reached out, taking the paper from Louis and starting to silently read it.
'Massingale, Dr. Lona born 1959 graduated from Beumont University MD and Ph.D. Neurologist on staff at Kingdom Hospital. No funeral or flowers at the request of the deceased. Cremation to be handled by Dostie Funeral Home.'
"She even went ahead and made arrangements with the mortuary."
Louis could barely keep from breaking down completely now. Everything was starting to seem so real. "All I have to do once Hook takes her off the machines is to call them and have them come to pick her up."
way too much from his way of thinking.
Then there was how the situation would effect Elmer. It seemed like his relationship with his son had never been as strong as Louis would have liked for it to have been. He supposed their problem had started at first simply due to the fact that Elmer shouldn't have been there at all.
Now, though, he didn't really understand why they still had the problems that they did. He had to have failed in some way. Maybe he hadn't tried hard enough to get through to his son, to show Elmer how much he loved him and now.... He had some vague hope that Elmer might understand. After all, Lona had clearly stated her wishes should she ever suffer an irrecoverable injury or illness. Surely if Elmer loved Lona as much as Louis felt that his son did, he would want to honor her last requests.
Louis knew that things weren't that clear cut though, especially with all of the unknowns surrounding Lona's condition. How could they honestly say that there was no hope for Lona to recover and yet at the same time with what Hook had seen on the EEG....
"Louis?" Chris called his name softly as she entered the office.
Sympathy washed over her at the sight of the expression on the older doctor's face. Hook had told her about what had happened in the ER recently, about how Louis had lost his ex-wife, so she couldn't imagine how hard this had to be for him, to be facing losing a friend like this and then maybe.... No, she wouldn't even let herself think about that, forced that thought firmly away. Elmer was sick, true, but not seriously ill and Hook seemed totally fine. She just wished that she could say the same for Lona.
"I gave it to Hook." Louis said as he looked up at Chris with despair in his eyes. Although he knew that it was what he had to do, that he had to do his best to carry out Lona's last wishes, the entire thing felt so, so wrong. "I didn't tell Elmer. I couldn't stand to." Maybe that had been a cowardly decision, to not be the one to break the bad news.
It had certainly felt like one to him but try as he might he just couldn't bring himself to watch his son's heart be broken when he found out that Lona was going to die. Elmer had been through so much. How much more could that poor boy take? Would it help him that there would be no funeral, none of the public morning to go through? Louis wanted to believe that it might but deep down he felt that the lack of a proper way to say goodbye would probably make Elmer even worse.
"How is Lona?" Chris asked gently as she walked around the desk to lay a comforting hand on Louis's shoulder. She wanted to say something,
anything, that would make this better and yet there was nothing that she could do.
"Dying." Louis almost shook as he said that, admitting out loud what he had felt in his heart since the first time that he saw Lona after the cardiac arrest. "She's dying. Hook thinks that she's having seizures now and the medications aren't controlling them."
Chris winced slightly at this latest bit of news. She knew all too well the damage that uncontrolled seizures could do to the brain,
especially if they went on for an extended period.
"She even left instructions for what she wanted done." Louis shook his head as he thought of Lona's instructions. "Cremation, no funeral, no flowers." Okay, he knew for experience how hard funerals were but there was also something, a bit of comfort, to them too, to being able to do one last thing for someone that you loved. Could they still do that even though Lona hadn't wanted a funeral? Maybe some sort of service before the actual cremation? He was sure doing something would be important for Elmer, something to let him say goodbye.
"Did Hook say what he thought about taking her off of the machines?" Chris asked gently. Okay, especially with seizures going on,
things didn't sound good but still it had only been a few hours since Lona got sick. How could they give up so quickly on her? Didn't Lona deserve a little more time?
"He didn't say or if he did, I didn't feel like staying to listen."
Louis said with a shake of his head. Even as he spoke, his mind was running over what he would need to do to handle things after Lona... Even without a funeral or a burial, there would be so many things that would be necessary for him to do. The obituary... He shook his head once more as he thought of it. It just seemed so wrong to be planning things, to be thinking of how to handle Lona's death, when she was still technically clinging to life.
Chris looked at Louis helplessly, not sure of what to say. Talking about Lona dying was tremendously upsetting, not only because talking about it meant facing the fact that they were about to lose a friend but because of the fear that it stirred in her mind that Hook could be next. She looked around the room, looking for a distraction from her fear-riddled thoughts. "Hey, looks like something came through the fax for you."
Louis took the paper Chris held out for him, silently reading for a moment before shaking his head slowly. "She even wrote out her own obituary. The lawyer must have found it after we talked."
"What?" Chris reached out, taking the paper from Louis and starting to silently read it.
'Massingale, Dr. Lona born 1959 graduated from Beumont University MD and Ph.D. Neurologist on staff at Kingdom Hospital. No funeral or flowers at the request of the deceased. Cremation to be handled by Dostie Funeral Home.'
"She even went ahead and made arrangements with the mortuary."
Louis could barely keep from breaking down completely now. Everything was starting to seem so real. "All I have to do once Hook takes her off the machines is to call them and have them come to pick her up."