Disclaimer: I don't own SD boys, Inoue does. The events that follow are not included in the original plot but enjoy anyway. (Hindi ako ang nagmamayari ng mga tauhan ng SD, si Inoue ang gumawa sa kanila. Ang mga sumusunod na pangyayari ay hindi kasama sa tunay na istorya pero magsaya ka na lang sa pagbabasa '--')
Rukawa lingered for another hour in the infirmary. He didn't mind if he was missing the next subject after the first one. 'So what? I've got enough shit to worry about without fussing over absences and tardiness.' The previous encounter made him feel oddly nauseated, like he'd just been forced to eat raw meat and drink strawberry milk for breakfast. To make matters worse, an incipient neuralgia began to traverse every unfilled space of his insides. He laid himself again, feeling more sickly than he'd ever been. He closed his eyes and as his obstinate brain cells shut themselves down one by one, he began to sink in a dreamless, almost pointless sleep.
Next thing he knew was it was time for dismissal; around 4:30 in the afternoon. The nurse was shaking him.
'Bedtime's over, Mr. Pretty, Go home and try to consult your family physician. You're not looking completely healthy with that color on,' She said demandingly as she fixed the pillows and mattress Rukawa had just used.
As Rukawa stepped out of the door he found Mitsui leaning against the wall beside him. He was ill at ease waiting for Rukawa to get up and he didn't make any effort to hide this.
'There. I thought you're spending the night here,' He said as he spotted Rukawa.
'Fell asleep.' Rukawa answered half heartedly. He gave a look that unmistakably meant 'Why're you still here?' Mitsui didn't miss this and said,
'I was going home late. I thought I should check on you,'
'Great. So now he's performing his duty as a responsible boyfriend with two jobs and two bosses.' Rukawa told himself but then, he didn't have the right to clench his teeth or his fist. He should be thankful Mitsui didn't run off with Kogure right away. They ambled together down the corridor to the main gate. Most of the students had gone straight home so there was little to worry about people seeing them get hearty and all.
'I was thinking about telling him what happened,' Mitsui said as they reached the gate. Rukawa held him long in his glance.
Mitsui felt as if a damp, icy air were all of a sudden glued to his limbs and neck. He shuddered at the mere sangfroid Rukawa showed to him as if the Antarctica had clouded before him, placing discord in every tincture of harmony between them. But try as he might, he couldn't read even the very riddle of that expression; its depth was unfathomable as it was dreadful and unnerving.
'Of course it's only a suggestion. If you have an alternative, I'd be glad to hear it.' Mitsui said suddenly. Rukawa shook his head. He himself couldn't comprehend the necessity of a confession. Why shouldn't they keep it secret? Let it lie dormant that no one should ever uncover what happened that night. If the affair should, in their own will, stand active, why not sustain it surreptitiously? If there was a better choice, it would be for Mitsui to cut ties with Kogure. Break up with him and run off with Rukawa. Neat. If only it wouldn't make Rukawa seem like a barefaced thief of love, he would've laid it to Mitsui as simple as pulling up a 14 footer jumper.
'Why tell him about it?' Rukawa said.
'I'm not a stone-head to coop it all inside me so easily. I've got a relationship to take care of so it pays being honest,' Mitsui said. Something bright lingered in his sullen eyes that withdrew all the weariness inside him; the onerous feeling that dimmed his composure for the time being had been brought to the limelight, giving Rukawa the full blast of it. 'Only I must make a choice by doing so.' He finished.
'Ok, go ahead and go after our sub captain. You'd never leave him anyway, not for a guy like me. You only want me for your school boy escapades and you wouldn't depend on me in anything that concerns serious feelings. I'm a mere provider of anything that spelunker couldn't give you...' Rukawa wanted to thrash all these to Mitsui but being the tight throated devil that he was, he failed to volunteer a single word. He simply looked away in agony.
'Listen, you have to help me. I...I don't know what to think or what to expect...I thought I couldn't wish for more than what I have with him and then,' Mitsui faltered. and went on, 'You came and I became like this...'
'Became what?'
'Helpless.'
'Helpless?' Rukawa glared at him.
'Yes. Maybe I'm going nuts about all this.'
'Make a choice then. Him or me?' Rukawa said with all boldness.
'It wouldn't help. I might kill myself after doing so. If I choose him, I'll probably miss you like crazy but if I choose you...'
'You'll go kill yourself right away.' Rukawa answered for him.
'I can't help you.' Rukawa said to him.
Mitsui didn't speak. He just knew what to answer, only he couldn't spell it out to Rukawa. He was awfully aware of Rukawa's feelings for him; one morning, it just came to him like a wayward midnight breeze in a cold autumn, sending painful shots through the corners of his body. A pang of remorse took hold of him, throwing dark recollections of his own wrongdoings toward the ones he loved. His guilt didn't go as a nuisance to shun redress; despite his feelings, he spent the night with Kaede Rukawa and phoned Kogure that he'd be sleeping over at his cousin's.
TBC