Daily
by Lethe Seraph
Entry Three: Foot Fault
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4.27.04
This ought to be interesting…
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foot fault (n) : a fault that occurs (as in tennis) when a server fails to keep both feet behind the baseline until the ball is served
-Webster's New Collegiate Dictionary, p. 443
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After evaluating himself over and over again, Jonouchi Katsuya had finally come to a conclusion.
He was insane.
Why would he have a crush on a person like Seto Kaiba unless he was a self-loathing, masochistic, egotist-loving idiot? Kaiba would never be the sort of person that Jou would want to be friends with, right? It had to be something else.
However, after countless evaluations, he had reached the conclusion that, yes, he was a self-loathing, masochistic, egotist-loving idiot.
And he had a crush on Seto Kaiba.
What to do, though? It wasn't as though he could just waltz into the classroom one day, drag Kaiba into the hall, profess his doubtlessly insane feelings, and be swept up into a passionate kiss. That never happened. …Ever.
The other choices weren't that much better, either.
He could keep his peace and suffer in silence, struggling not to blurt out something stupid and revealing when Kaiba made comments about his being Kaiba's pet – so, so tantalizing – or he could try to become Kaiba's friend first.
The problems with the latter were threefold: firstly, as previously stated, Kaiba was not the sort of person that Jou would want to be friends with although his body continued to betray his senses; secondly, Kaiba was also not the sort of person that would return an offer of friendship without suspicion; and, thirdly, what the hell would Yugi and the rest of his friends think?
Jonouchi had always maintained steadily that Kaiba was an expletiving jerk and that he hated having to share oxygen with the twit. If he appeared to suddenly change his mind, they most definitely would suspect something.
After evaluating himself over and over again, Jonouchi Katsuya had finally decided on his course of action.
He would waltz into the classroom, drag Kaiba into the hall, profess his doubtlessly insane feelings, and be smacked upside the head.
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"Kaiba. A word," growled Jonouchi, attempting and not quite succeeding at masking the tremor in his voice. Kaiba didn't even bother turning his eyes from the book to look at Jonouchi, speaking in a dull monotone.
"Which word?"
"Don't give me crap, Kaiba!" said Jou, falling back upon his standard angry reply. Although it probably wasn't the best way to endear himself to Kaiba-boy, it was what was expected of him. "Just step outside with me for a few minutes. There's plenty of time before the bell rings."
"And why should I waste my time on you?" Kaiba turned the page. It was obvious that he wasn't even giving half of his attention to Jonouchi, and just as obvious that he wanted Jonouchi to know as much.
"You've already read that book. Speaking to me civilly, on the other hand, would be something that you haven't done before." Jonouchi had practiced and practiced in front of the mirror, saying that, and apparently it had paid off; Kaiba turned to Jonouchi, a small amount of surprise flickering in his bright eyes.
Kaiba spoke, and not in a monotone. "How would you know?"
"You were reading it the day before yesterday. It doesn't take you that long to finish a book, does it?"
His obsession with watching Kaiba was now rewarded. The CEO was interested now. "No, it doesn't. What do you want to talk to me about?"
Jonouchi grinned, throwing Kaiba off further, and turned. "Follow me into the hall, why don't you?" Without waiting for a reply, Jonouchi began walking.
One… two…
Kaiba swept in front of Jonouchi. "The master leads, mutt," was all he had to say.
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"Now, what is it?"
"First of all, I'm going to be polite to you when I say this, so I'd like a polite response. All right?"
Kaiba raised an eyebrow. "I suppose."
"Okay, good." Jonouchi coughed and glanced around; the hallway was nearly deserted. There were but a few minutes left before the bell rang, but he wouldn't need too long. It was only a few words, after all… "Kaiba Seto, I…"
Kaiba waited a moment as Jou fumbled with his words, and then prompted him. "You…?"
"I'm getting to that!" Who would have thought that it would be so hard? "Um, I."
"We've established that."
"This is really important. I just can't say it is all." He tried again. "I…"
Kaiba rolled his eyes. "How much do you need?"
"Huh?"
"How much money do you need?"
"What?! That's not it!"
"Then…" said Kaiba, slightly puzzled. "What is it?"
"That's what I'm trying to say!" said Jonouchi, exasperated. "Come on, use your imagination!"
"You want to duel me."
"No."
"You killed my brother."
"Hell, no."
"You're trying to make me tardy for the first time in my life."
"Not that, either. Come on, think heart."
When had this turned into a game show?
"You need a transplant?"
"No!"
"Your sister is in love with me," said Kaiba, wincing.
"Er, no. I'd have to kill you."
Kaiba was intrigued now, guessing creatively. He seemed drawn to challenges – the tougher, the better. "You want me to create a dating sim."
"That might be cool, but no."
"You want to tell me that I have no heart."
"Nope."
"You like someone, and you want an unbiased, intellectually based opinion?"
"Only the first part."
"Why come to me?" Kaiba thought. "Unless…"
He had it now. Jonouchi tried to prepare himself for rejection.
"…you like Yugi?"
Jonouchi facefaulted. "What gave you that idea?!"
"I've dueled him enough times that I have a good idea of his personality, but judging by your reaction, that wasn't correct."
"Right on."
"Who else is there?" said Kaiba. It appeared that he could be clueless after all.
"Kaiba, I dragged you out here," said Jonouchi with a sigh, making no move to get up. Why bother if Kaiba was only going to punch him down in a moment anyway?"
"…Oh!" said Kaiba, hitting his palm with his fist in an uncharacteristically enthusiastic gesture.
"You get it now?"
"You're in love with Mokuba!"
Already on the floor, what else could Jonouchi do?
He…
…footfaulted.