Daily

by Lethe Seraph

Entry Four: Leicester

--

4.29.04

…Oh, crap.

-Note: This one is really weird. It … lacks plot, and coherent thought.

--

-

Leicester (n.) : any of a breed of white-faced long-wool mutton-type sheep originating in England and having white fleece finer than that of most long-wool sheep

-Webster's New Collegiate Dictionary, p. 651

-

It had all come down to this.

Jonouchi hadn't struggled this far through Battle City for nothing! He had to win this duel; he had to make Shizuka proud. And now, in the final stretch of the duel, with both players down to their last few Life Points, it was anyone's game.

Jou intended to make it his.

"Hurry up and make your move!" he called annoyedly at the green-haired young man. "Or are you going to give up?"

"I have already foreseen your defeat!" was Roba's reply.

"Then why the heck are you taking so long?!" demanded Jou.

Roba paused, running a hand through his hair. "…Why? Are you really that eager to lose?"

The crowd was beginning to murmur. Jonouchi shifted from one foot to the other.

"Jeez! Go already!" yelled Honda from his front-row position, echoed by Anzu.

"Fine!" Espa smirked and whipped a card from his duel disk, replacing it with another. "I sacrifice a monster, to summon…"
Oh, no.

"…Jinzo!"

Jonouchi winced. Damn, that looked scary.

"And since your field is free of monsters, I can attack your Life Points directly! …Jinzo! Attack!"

"Not so fast!" cried Jonouchi, flipping a card. "I activate Scapegoat!"

"All right, Jou! You da man!"

"You can do it!"

Jonouchi basked in his moment of glory. And then he realized, when Roba failed to respond, that something was wrong.

He looked up.

They were coming his way…!

"Leicestrite," intoned a mechanical voice. "A Sheep-Type Pokemon. Best known for their courage and strength in numbers, the Leicestrite…"

"Awesome!" said Ash excitedly, not even waiting for his Pokedex to finish its statement. "I'd love to have that one! What do you think, Brock?"

Brock was already gone.

Ash sighed. He had probably found a pretty girl in the crowd.

And, sure enough…

"Um, thank you, I think," said the young woman awkwardly. "But I'm kind of busy right now…"

Her male companion nodded. "Yeah, we're watching our friend duel."

Ash jumped into the conversation. "You mean, with Pokemon?"

"Poke-what?" said the girl. She blinked. "They're playing Duel Monsters."

"That sheep up there is Leicestrite!" said Ash. "It's a Pokemon! How can you not know what Pokemon is?"

"Calm down, Ash...!" said Brock, glancing back and forth between Ash and the girl.

"No, it's not," said the other boy. He reminded Brock of himself in a way, with his spiky brown head. "It's Scapegoat. It isn't a sheep at all."

Ash blinked. He didn't know what to say to that one.

The girl turned back to the 'duel' and her mouth dropped open. "Wait! Honda, what's going on?!"

"Huh? …What the heck…!? Let's go!"

The two raced off.

Ash stared at Brock.

Brock stared at Ash.

They followed.

"Get off!" cried Jonouchi. "You fuzzy beasts! What's going on?! …Man, I'm gonna kill Kaiba one of these days…!"

"Myuh! Myuh!" cried the goat-sheep-Duel Monsters happily, attaching themselves to their master with enthusiasm rivaling that of Otogi's fangirls.

"Can't… breathe…!"

Roba had rushed over to his side, attempting to pry them off of him, but to no avail. "Jonouchi! What's happening?!"

"They're attacking me! It has to be some glitch in the programming or something!"

"Don't worry! We're here to help you!" Anzu and Honda had rushed over and were now aiding Roba in his valiant efforts. The Scapegoats, however, were persistent.

"Myuh! Myuh!"

"Somebody, help!"

Ash heard that plea and grinned widely. "Pikachu, let's-"

A sudden burst of fire and smoke.

The crowd was yelling and running-

Anzu and Honda tried yet harder to free Jou-

Roba had rushed off to save his brothers-

-and then they heard…

…the voices.

"Prepare for trouble!"

"And make it double!"

Ash slapped his forehead. "Pikachu…" he began.

"To protect the world from- EEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!"

"No fairrrrrrrr!" cried Jessie, as James and Meowth chorused, "Team Rocket is blasting off againnnn…!!!"

Twink!

Jonouchi scrambled to his feet, looking around wildly. "Where'd they go?" he demanded.

"I have no idea…!" said Anzu. "After the strange people left, so did the Scapegoats!"

"Hmm… the excess electrical energy in the area must have shorted out the system," mused a voice from behind them.

Jonouchi whirled around. "You!" he cried in an accusatory voice, brandishing a finger.

Kaiba smirked slightly. "Glad to see you can recognize your master, mutt."

"You were behind all this, weren't you!"

"I'd like to give you this Psychic Badge," said Roba, having returned with his brothers.

"…The hell?!" cried Jonouchi, turning back around to face Roba. He was now utterly confused, and a confused Jonouchi was a loud and angry Jonouchi.

"You proved your strength and worth in battle against me."

"Er, we never finished our duel."

"Don't worry about that," said Roba brightly. "Just take it."

"No."

"Don't worry about that," said Roba brightly. "Just take it."

Jonouchi stared at him. "Are you all right, psycho?"

"Don't worry about that-"

"Augh!" Jonouchi turned yet again to run, forgetting that Kaiba was behind him, and-

Smack.

Bomph!

Jonouchi stared down. Kaiba had turned into…

…a seahorse?!

What was going on here?!

It flailed about. As much as Jou would love to see Kaiba suffer, he certainly didn't want the boy dead. Jonouchi grabbed the seahorse and ran. "Water! Water!" he mumbled. "Fresh or sea?! Oh, man…!"

And then it became a sheep.

Suddenly, Jonouchi had an urge to kiss the sheep.

He leaned down-

"YAAAAAAAAH!!!" Jonouchi bolted upright in bed. He began to curse, making his way to the sink.

Splashing his face with cold water, Jonouchi told himself very firmly never to count sheep ever again.

Ever.