Diary,

Wellity, wellity wellity. Guess what wonderful sight I saw on my way to potions today.

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Done guessing?

Sarah. And Peter Pettigrew. My eyes! I'll wash but I'll never be clean!

I feel quite the betrayed. First of all, I thought the Sarah didn't worship at that church, although she might have been attracted to tubby's man boobs. Eww! Bad mental image!

Now that I have done trying to think happy thoughts….

Yes, well. I'm not quite sure if she saw me, she looked entirely too wrapped up in Peters slobber

Eww.

Potions itself was quite fun, but I am thinking of suing Hogwarts for false advertising. Not once in all my years here have I bottled Glory or anything else to that effect. Lies, all lies.

I am pleased to report that I have slipped back into anonominity, at least a bit more than I was for the last few days. James wasn't giving up though; he went into a Sherlock Holmes mode, following me everywhere, but at a practiced distance of twelve meters. Someone really ought to tell him that a big, manly man like that can not hide behind a tree trunk!

I finally had enough and asked him to at least talk to me if he was going to insist on being there all the time. We've had a few good conversations, but he is a little too old fashioned for my likings. He still thinks women have smaller feet because we need to stand closer to the sink! After being subjected to an afternoon of "what do you call a woman ten feet away from the kitchen? A fugitive!" jokes, I hit him over the head with my transfiguration book and left him there muttering "What did I do?" Fool.

I feel lost without my best friend around; she is now constantly making excuses to go see Pettigrew. I have begun to spend more time with the Slytherins.

It's really amazing how you have to be a different person for each house to like you, even down to the clothes that you wear. Gryffindor like you to wear casual-up-for-a-game-of-quidditch type clothes, Huffelpuff prefer the demure look, pearl and pastel colors. Ravenclaw go for the tie-died, flowing kaftans, and Slytherins like their women slutty and ready.

I was in Slytherin mode today.

You would think that because I am a muggle born I wouldn't be accepted in Slytherin, yet it seems that our particular year believe it is how you act that justifies how you are treated. And I, not to boast, am a good actress.

The older Slytherin years frown on this kind of inter house mixing, but some of the main players in the wizard world hierarchy are in fifth year.

Slytherins really are quite fun, you know. They kept me entertained all of supper with delightfully morbid dead baby jokes. How do you make a baby crawl in a circle…nail one hand to the floor! Of course, one mustn't forget the Suzy jokes, why did Suzy fall off the swing…answers in the next installment of Lily's Diary, if you plebeians need a reason to keep reading.

I couldn't ignore the hostile glares coming at me from the Gryffindor table though, I was getting that feeling that you get when people are staring at you all through dinner. I finally turned and found that it was the Marauderers, and…Sarah? How strange. I always thought that she hated them.

Professor Dumbledore wanted to see me after supper, and it turned out that it was because he wanted help organizing a talent show, and had heard me sing on one of my frequent musical tangents. He actually wanted me to sing! On my own! In front of people!

I have no problem when it's singing with the band, because then we can turn the amps up really loud if I bomb, but ON MY OWN! Nope, nope, nopedy nope.

But, in keeping with my tradition of bad luck, one student heard the request. Guess who?

Well, you're wrong. It wasn't James. It was Snape.

Kidding, it was Sirius Black.

He tried to get me to do it. He even tried blackmail! That failed. According to him, Gryffindor house can hear me sing in the shower. How Embarrassing. He even went so far as to say that I was good.

He was clearly lying to get me to fall down at his feet, begging to be allowed hand feed him. I know this because he admitted to saying this so that I would fall down at his feet begging to hand feed him. He insisted that I had a great voice though, and that it would be a travesty to let it go unheard to the rest of the Hogwarts houses. So I pushed him down the stairs.

Kidding!

Up at Gryffindor tower I went up to my room to find Sarah sitting on my bed. She had the weirdest smile on and looked like she had waited for me to come up. That girl has not been herself these last few days. Next she…Damn, I'll just write down the conversation.

Sarah: How's life with James, Lily? Is he a good fuck?

Me: What are you talking about? You know that I hate James.

Sarah: There's no need to lie, Lily. I'm happy for you. Sure, you could have told me to my face, instead of letting me find out through over hearing his friends speak, but hey! What's it between friends?

Me: Sarah. That never happened. And why exactly did you believe the rumor mill without asking me if it was true first?

Sarah (shouting): I don't know what to believe any more! Explain away this photograph! storms out to snog Peter

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Short but sweet.

All I can say is that either someone in the school is very good about doctoring photos, or I sleep walk.

Please don't be sleep walk! Please don't be sleep walk!

Speaking of sleep, it is time for my beauty one, so goodbye my lovely future readers of the best selling

Lilies Diary.

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(AN) Less controversial in a non boring way? I hope so. Review!