A/N: Thanks reviewey people….Yes….must spell check, lol.
Fudje : Very solemnly since you do have a tooth pick I suppose the turkeys will spare you. Sorry I'll do spell check, it totally slipped y mind!
ldypebsaby: Oh yes that drug deal is going very, very wrong. And the professor will be very, very….professor ish….Peace in!
Scott and Lance eyed each other in complete horror. Their wrists were chained together….with metal handcuffs.
"You…" Lance gasped…. "HOLEY SHIT MAN GTE OFF ME!"
"I CAN"T!" Scott shouted back. "If you hadn't noticed dim wit we're handcuffed together!"
"NAB! Your supposed to hand cuff their own wrists together!" The cops with the light yelled.
"I thought they meant their wrists together!"
"No you dipshit!" The cop with the light snarled. "Okay take their picture!"
Scott could see even more bright spots in front of his eyes. "Can you get your wrist out?"
"No! The retard chained me good!" Lance growled. "Of all the people in the world…."
"Hey I didn't ask to be handcuffed to you!" Scott responded angrily. "What do we do! I can not be arrested!"
Lance glanced down a nearby alley and grinned. "Run."
"Wha-" Scot began. He was cut off as Lance sprinted away, roughly dragging Scott to run. Luckily he got his balance back in time to run after Lance and escape tripping them both. "Where are you taking me!"
"Shut your mouth Ass wipe!"
You are such a bastard…Scott thought angrily. He decided not to waste his breath. Ass wipe…How offensive can you be? Lance yanked him down an alley as the cops started to shout. He heard one of them start talking on a radio.
"They went down there!"
"Shit hurry up Summers!" Lance hissed. He dropped to his knees behind a few trash cans and Scott fell on the ground with an undignified thump. The cops ran right by them.
"We have a couple of drug dealers with guns loose! All cars to area twelve!"
Lance heaved a sigh of relief and reached over to brush his hair away from his forehead. He forgot that Lance's hand was attached to his wrist and dragged the taller boys hand over.
"Whoa! What the fuck are you trying to pull Summers!" Lance yelled. He yanked his hand back, sending Scott sprawling over him.
"Rapist!" Scott growled, pushing himself off Lance.
"Hey you're the one who fell on me!" Lance defended.
"Yeah well if you hadn't been here getting your drugs I wouldn't be in this predicament!" Scott growled.
"Sure like you weren't going to get shot anyway!" Lance retorted.
"If you hadn't yelled at me I'd have gotten in!" Scott sneered. Lance shut his eyes gently. "Hey! Are you even listening to me?"
Lance cracked open one eye. "Never thought you'd be on crack, Summers."
"Shut up! It was a dare!" Scott responded. "Come on, we're going to find Professor X."
"Please I'm not going crying to some creepy old cannibal."
"He's not a cannibal!" Scott gasped.
"Have you seen his smile, ass wipe? It's creepy as hell." Lance smirked.
Scott prepared for a witty retort, when he thought back to the professor's smile…It actually was pretty creepy. "You know I think he's a homosexual." Scott clapped a hand over his mouth. "SHIT!"
Lance burst into fits of laughter. "I think him and Magneto've got something goin' on!"
"Oh shut up!" Scott squeaked.
"Yum….Isn't that a lovely mental image?" Lance chuckled.
Scott suddenly saw Magneto dressed as a pirate pointing a super sized pixie stick at the professor's chest, while making out with him. "IT BURNS!"
Lances laughed harder. "Si'down Summers. The cops are looking for you. We'll never get past them tonight. Now go to sleep."
"With you next to me? You'll kill me!" Scott felt a hyper ventilation episode coming on.
"Oh please summers. I'd rather haul you around alive then have to drag your dead body."
Scott immediately visualized Lance stabbing him with a pen and then struggling to drag his body back to the mansion….The he pictured Lance supporting Scott's corpse, trying to explain to the professor that Scott was merely in a deep sleep. He chuckled lightly before relaxing a bit.
Suddenly it started to rain, just a few drops at first, and then it became a steady down pour. "Lance!" Scott growled. The taller boy sighed and got to his feet.
"C'mon summer's we'd better find some cover," Lance said. Scott looked up at him slightly surprised. He'd expected Lance to yell at him very two seconds. "Ass wipe."
"I am not an ass wipe!"
After about an hour of wondering and bitching they found a little sheltered alley and a big card bored box. Lance crawled in first, using the explanation that he was bigger. Scott crawled in second. He was surprised that there was more then enough room for both of them. "Lance move over!"
"Sorry, ass wipe, I'm smashed…"
"Bastard." Scott muttered. He leaned over and leaned his head on Lance's shoulder.
Lance went bright red. "Hey….what-Ass wipe! Wha-"
"Shut up, I'm trying to sleep. And you suggest la grand hotel al la card bored you're my pillow." Scott mumbled. He felt Lance relax and Scott smiled.
Lance woke up in the morning and nearly jumped. Why the hell am I? Oh…The event's of last night quickly came back to him. He glanced down at Summers and smiled again. It was kind of like having Pietro with him, but Summers was much more fun to tease…of far more fun.
He jumped out of his skin a second time when eh saw Scott wasn't wearing his shades.
"Buffalo?" Summers mumbled. Lance jumped up as the smaller mutant's eyes opened slowly.
Please god I'm sorry I smoke and I'm a bastard, but please don't let me die! Lance thought frantically. He shut his eyes, bracing himself for the worst….But he was never fried to a crisp. He opened one eye and saw Summers' big eyes looking up at him. For a moment Lance thought he was in the box with a deer. "Summers? But your not wearing your shades, why aren't I dead?"
"Oh I'm wearing contacts….Professor got them special made." Summers yawned and rubbed his eyes. Lance looked at those pretty eyes for a moment. They were heavily lashed, almost to the point of being feminine. They were also swirling in shades of chocolate brown to a rouge creamy red. It was a startling contrast to his brown hair…Well in this light it had a little bit of a redsy orange highlight. "What?"
"Nothing….You've just got shit on your face ass wipe!" Lance smirked. "Now get off me."
"Hey boys!"
Both teens' heads snapped up. They met eyes with a homeless man who was starring in at them grinning in a feral manner.
"Looks like we've got a rich pair of run away kiddies." The homeless man snarled, still wearing that grin. Lance crawled over Summers and pushed the guy out of the way. Summers crawled timidly out of the box and bumped into Lance.
"Wha-" Scott started. His eyes widened when eh saw what Lance saw. There was a pack of homeless men in front of them and a red brick wall behind them.
"Pretty ain't they…" Another one growled. "Gimmie good ol' jack your money now."
"We don't have any." Scott said softly. "Look just let us go and you won't get hurt."
Lance whacked him gently with his arm and moved in front of him. "Look bums. Move it now."
The men sneered at them. "So what are you going to do?"
Scott noticed all of the hobo's drew sharp, small knives from in their layers of old clothes. He looked up at Lance and realized he didn't know they had knives. "Lance!" He hissed in a whisper. "They have knives!"
Lance nodded. "Look you let us out and I'll give you five hundred dollars."
The men moved closer.
"Back off!" Scott snarled. Lance moved even more in front of him and spread his legs and crossed his arms over his chest in his normal cocky pose. But Scott could tell he wasn't wearing his smirk, he could tell Lance's eyes were narrowed and cold.
"I think we keep 'em." The man named Jack cackled. "The red heads kinda pretty."
Scott paled and to his surprise backed up. Lance growled. The hobos laughed.
"Look'a how pale he is!" Another grinned.
"We could have some fun wit 'im…." The first man snarled.
"Don't touch him!" Lance hissed. "Can't you perverts find some girl to rape?"
"Nah…they never come back here."
Scott wanted to vomit. "Lance?" He whispered hoarsely.
"Scott breathe." The taller boy commanded sharply. Lance shut his eyes and the ground started to shake. The hobo's glanced around nervously. The shake got worse. The hobo's scattered, Scott bolted, dragging Lance with him.
Scott ran out of the alley and down the block, in fact he didn't stop then, he just kept running as fast se he could until Lance stopped sharply. Scott was jerked back and pulled off his feet. He landed in a ball on the side walk.
"Sorry Summers, but you were starting to scare me," Lance growled. "You okay?"
"Back off!" Scott yelled.
Taken back Lance didn't move. "Look…Sorry 'bout what happened back there."
"Oh please." Scot said sarcastically. "Like you give a damn about me!"
"I don't have to give a damn about you to help you!" Lance yelled back. His voice softened, "And by the way I do give a damn."
Scott sat for a moment. "We need to find a pay phone."
"No money."
Scott sighed he got up and stretched.
"Feeling a little better?" Lance asked with a wicked grin. Scott shrugged. "Good…."
Five minutes later Scott was standing on a street corner begging for money. "Please! My sisters has….AIDS! And my mother's got a baby! My dad hits me!" Scott glared back at Lance. "Wipe that smile of your face Lance!"
"Sorry your performance is so moving." Lance sneered. "Keep begging."
"My dad always drinks! And my other sister's a prostitute! She sleeps with fat old men."
A fat old man stopped next to him. "Hobo Bastard!" The man pushed Scott.
"Look sir, I didn't mean to offend you!" Scott snarled.
"Crack pot!" The fat old man yelled before moving on. He turned around and threw a penny at Scott's head.
Lance was rolling on the cement in hysterics. "Nice Scott! Only seventy four cents to go!"
Scott continued to beg in complete melodrama. Finally a man in his id thirties stopped. "Look kid what the hell do you want?"
"Seventy four cents so my friend and I can use the pay phone…" Scott asked, his deer eyes were huge and pleading.
"Why are you handcuffed to that kid?"
Scott gaped like a fish.
"Practical joke." Lance said in a shockingly affable voice. "Our friend lost the key…"
The older man grinned. "Oh, here kid." He fished through his pocket and handed Scott three quarters.
"God loves you!" Scott shouted after the man who laughed. "Hah see Lance I did it!"
"No ass wipe, without my lie you'd 've looked like an idiot, which you do." Lance swept off to the phone booth and inserted the money. He waited as the phone rung. "Hello? NO I'm not on a prank call! Yo wolvie, it's Lance Alvers, I need to talk to your boss."
"Lance give me the phone!" Scott yelled.
"Oh, no that's summers…Oh he's in the phone booth with me because we've given into our passionate love, we spent the night in motel six doin' it like rabbits."
"Logan don't believe him!" Scott shouted, his face was redder then the average tomato. "Quit it Lance! Logan he got us arrested and we got assaulted by hobos!"
Scott heard Logan laugh on the other line.
"Put Scott on? Sorry He's in the shower at the moment." Lance smirked, "here let me go in and get him, Scott, honey bun Logan want's to talk to you!"
"Give me the phone you psychopath!" Scott growled, bright red. "Logan?"
"'Ey Honey bun."
"Logan please! That was Lance's sick idea of a joke. Please help me! I'm handcuffed to him!"
"How'd you end up like that?" Logan jeered. Scott growled.
"Shut up! We weren't having sex! We were in a card bored box and I'm not romantically interested in him!"
"Well I'm not romantically interested in you, but last night blew my friggin mind!" Lance teased into the phone.
"That's not what I meant!" Scott cried exasperatedly. "Logan we got handcuffed together last night! See Remy dared me to break into the mall and I did! Kurt had my homework, I was under a lot of stress! So I tried to break in, but Lance showed up and screamed really loudly! So the police accidentally hand cuffed us together!"
"I know microwave." Logan sarcastically said. "We saw your photo on the news!"
"WHAT!" Scott screamed.
"Keep it down!" Lance hissed.
"Shut it microwave, look it was a bad picture, awful picture actually, only the professor realized it was you. You're wanted for first degree assault and drug dealing'. It's a five year sentence minimum."
"Oh no!" Scot moaned. "My life is so over, Lance this is all your fault!"
"Stop PMSing you ass wipe!" Lance yelled back. "What's the problem!"
"We're wanted for first degree assault and drug dealing! It's a five year minimum sentence in prison!" Scott screamed.
"Relax microwave!" Logan yelled from the phone. "The professor's going to handle it, but you and your fuck buddy got to get outta town. Stay right where you are, the professor has all the arrangements made up already, so don't move!"
"What if the police see us!" Scott shouted.
"Keep your shades off and put them on Lance. Blend in, I'm coming to pick you up now. The Professor instructed me to take you two to his mountain get away, it's secluded and very, very far. The police won't find you two there."
Scott sighed. "Thanks Logan, what about the hand cuffs?"
"I'll get 'em off when I find you two."
"Thank you Logan."
Click.
Scott gently placed the phone in it's cradle. "Logan's coming to pick us up. We're going to some house in the mountains to lay low."
Lance rolled his eyes. "Perfect, Christmas with the X-freaks and you, ass wipe."
Scott dragged Lance over to a brick wall near the street and sat down. After a few minutes a lady with a face like a truck wheel came out. In her hand she held a bucket. She dumped it all over them.
"GET OFF MY HOSUE YOU DAMN WHORES!"
Scowling Scott dragged Lance away form the wall before he could hit the woman.
"Stupid bitch."
"We shouldn't be sitting on her wall." Scott said stiffly. He was soaked and now more freezing.
"Do you always keep a stick up your ass, ass wipe?"
"Stop calling me that!"
"….." Lance smirked.
"….." Scott glared.
"This isn't water." Lance stated.
"Course it is."
"It kind of stings my eyes." Lance rubbed his eyes. "Look at the cuffs!" The teen pair looked at their cuffs and noticed they were pure black.
Scott felt another hysteria coming on. "Must just happen when they get wet."
"Yeah sure, when they get wet." Lance agreed.
Neither wanted to even think there was some strange chemical in that water that altered the cuffs in some way.
"This is all your fault." Scott informed Lance, shivering.
"What crawled up your ass and died? Ass wipe."
"Would you stop calling me that!"
A/N:
What was in that water?
Will Ass Wipe I mean Scott go insane?
Will Logan ever come?
Will more hobos assault them?
Does Scott actually enjoy being Lance's honey bun?
Read and find out!