Disclaimer: I don't own Eva, please don't sue.
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After a quick trip to the apartment's bathroom for some topographical grooming the two pilots finished up and stood staring at the toilet.
At the end of a long pause Asuka finally stated, "I-I can wait."
To which Shinji nodded quickly and added, "Me too."
Neither wished to think about what might happen if they were still in their current predicament when it came time to heed the call of nature. Just the flickering thought of it caused Shinji to once again wonder how they ended up as they were. He glanced sidelong at his attractive redheaded roommate only to find her still staring at the toilet.
'Why would she do something like this?' he thought to himself. It didn't make sense since she seemed as put out over it as he was... if not more so.
Asuka's voice brought him out of his thoughts with a start, "Quit staring at me, baka-hentai. We may be stuck like this for now but if I catch you taking advantage of it I won't hold back. Got it?"
"G-gomen..." he replied and quickly glanced away.
He felt Asuka's arm tense, it having tugged on the handcuffs and causing a little jostle up into his own arm. She hadn't said anything but Shinji got the idea she didn't care much for his apologies. She had mentioned on numerous occassions she didn't like when he did it. He glanced down at the handcuffs and let a normally repressed thought leak through into his consciousness...
'If it bugs her that much maybe she won't get quite as angry if I don't do it as often.' It went against his very nature to think that but with her being handcuffed to him he thought it might make life easier for both of them if he tried smoothing things over a bit. It couldn't be that hard...
Could it?
Lost in thought he docilely staggered behind the redhead as she opened the bathroom door and glanced out into the hall.
"You ready, baka?" she asked quietly.
Shinji nodded and replied with a quiet, "H-hai."
Before he knew what was happening Asuka had grabbed his hand in her own and pulled him out into the hall, dragging him out towards the kitchen.
In a just-barely-louder-than-normal voice Asuka called "Come on, you lazy hentai!" and dragged him into the kitchen.
After a quick glance Shinji noticed her deflate in relief and say a bit lower, "Good, she's not here." She then yanked him over to the counter, "Hurry up, we gotta get out of here before she wakes up and sees us."
Shinji nodded and started gathering things for breakfast. Asuka had insisted days ago for a western style breakfast on this morning so Shinji grabbed what he could with one hand and started arranging things within easy reach. Asuka saw what he was doing and to help hurry things along grabbed what was closest to her and set them out for Shinji.
"How do you want your eggs?" Shinji asked hurriedly.
"Scrambled, hurry up."
Shinji nodded and got things started. He worked pretty well being handcuffed to a volatile young german girl but said volatile young german girl was an impatient, volatile, young german girl and with every glance over her shoulder she tried spurring Shinji on just that much faster.
"Asuka!" Shinji hissed finally, "Unless you want raw eggs I can't GO any faster. They're cooking, I can't cook them MORE even if you want me to."
Asuka bristled at the tone of his voice but didn't want him wasting time apologizing or, heaven forbid, defending himself so just replied with a curt "Fine." and started getting the toast ready. She admitted to herself that he was right and she was just anxious.
Things were going well and the team had breakfast mostly done when disaster struck. With a butter knife in her right hand, Asuka watched as the toast popped up next to her. After a quick, "I'll get it." Asuka yanked her left hand over to grab the toast, however she had forgotten the tether it had on it and in so doing yanked Shinji's right arm with it.
Being right handed Shinji's dominant hand, which was holding the spatula, had just scooped a helping of scrambled eggs to place it on a plate. Asuka's grab for the toast pulled his arm with a snap which sent the heap of scrambled eggs into a tight arc straight into Asuka's face and hair.
Time stood still.
Uncharacteristically quiet, Asuka turned slowly to look at Shinji.
Shinji stood with his mouth open in awe, staring at the young woman next to him.
Asuka's voice was soft, too soft to be anything but intentional. The perfect way to hide malicious intent. "Shinji..." she started.
Faster than the eggs had hit her Shinji's free left hand snapped up holding a kitchen towel out to Asuka. His mouth still open, his apology was caught in his throat from sheer surprise.
A millisecond before his vocal chords unfroze Shinji was cut off.
"Thanks."
Shinji continued to stare, his apology dissipating. The fact he wasn't just pummeled within an inch of his life caused him to shut down mentally. A feedback loop was playing within his mind and while Asuka gingerly cleaned egg from her hair, face and uniform all Shinji could think was, "I'm still alive... I'm still alive... I'm still alive..."
The loop was terminated with a slap of the towel to Shinji's face. Asuka, having finished and finding Shinji staring at her again, felt compelled to put something between them. The egg speckled towel was the closest thing at hand.
Shinji snatched the towel from his face as he heard their guardian's door open.
"Uh oh."
Shinji wasn't sure who said it, but had no doubt it could've been both of them.
With a flurry of spatulas, knives, eggs, toast and butter the two handcuffed teens quickly put together the rest of the breakfast. With the distraction of Misato walking in on them at any moment both had reverted to a more natural, basic instinct. Their movements and thoughts, devoid of extraneous things, were strangely fluid and graceful, perfect testaments to their success in the synch training forced on them. On more than one occassion nuances of the synch training came into play. A plate making its way to where Asuka needed it precisely before it was needed, provided by Shinji. A knife handed to Shinji just as he opened his hand to retrieve one, provided by Asuka.
If either of them gave thought to it they might have been pleasantly surprised at their cooperation and teamwork. Instead, however, their minds were focused on not being caught attached at the wrist by their guardian, who was apt to use ammunition like this against them... constantly.
"Sit. Now." Asuka hissed as they brought the breakfast over to the table. With the loud clunking of two chairs Shinji and Asuka plopped into place at the table just as Misato rounded the corner.
"'morning guys." Misato greeted quietly, eyes still half closed.
"Good morning, Misato!" both Children replied brightly in unison.
Misato stopped and slowly glanced at her two charges. Shinji and Asuka sat straight and rigid with equally disconcerting overly joyous grins mirrored on their faces.
After a moment of absolute silence Misato continued towards the fridge and let out a quiet, "O-kaaaaaaaaay"
Shinji let out a loud "WHOOF" as Asuka elbowed him in the ribs. When he glanced at her her eyes were wide, attempting to communicate silently with him. After a quick mental checklist he realized what the problem was.
As Misato was turned away from her two housemates getting a beer from the beer fridge she heard, first a loud "WHOOF!" then what sounded like a dead body falling into her kitchen chair.
She glanced back at the duo and saw Asuka wearing her same bright grin, but Shinji had traded his happy demeanor for a somber, downtrodden one. A dark aura surrounded the young man and he stared into his eggs with a look so confounding it was as if there was no joy left for him in this world. No joy at all.
'That's more like it...' Misato thought. 'Man, he was creeping me out a second ago.'
"Itadakimasu!" Misato called with a smile after sitting down, which was echoed by an overenthusiastic Asuka and a darker than normal Shinji.
Misato set her beer down after a quick chug and yell, then hungrily dug in to her food.
With their linked wrists under the table and out of sight, Asuka and Shinji did their best to have a normal breakfast in front of Misato. Luckily for them Misato seemed to be more interested in gorging herself on their breakfast than in them. Which suited them just fine.
Shinji held a fork in his left hand and made a conscious effort to use it properly. It seemed to him that Asuka had it much easier, at least she could use her right hand. With a sigh Shinji dug in but time and again his food fell from his fork before it reached his mouth.
Asuka noticed Shinji's trouble and glanced at Misato. Since Misato was so intent on her own food Asuka thought she might be able to get away with helping Shinji a little. His unconscious whining was starting to get to her.
With a quick tug on the handcuffs Asuka got Shinji's attention. He glanced up from his food, a pathetically helpless mask over his face and saw Asuka motioning with her eyes at her own food.
Shinji blinked and glanced down. There, on her fork was a small bite of egg. Before he could glance back up to confirm anything Asuka, watching Misato for a chance, flicked the egg up at Shinji with hardly any movement except from her wrist.
In comedic slow motion Shinji saw the egg approach, turning and listing slowly in the air, but unfortunately his reflexes were comedic and slow as well. It sailed right past him and he followed it with his eyes. The smile he wasn't aware he was wearing slipped as the egg went right past him and plopped onto the floor near the wall.
Shinji, unable to voice his chagrine glanced back at Asuka with a perplexed look.
Asuka widened her eyes again and silently tried to berate Shinji for missing the food.
As if anyone could just catch food in their mouths in such a situation.
Shinji, meaning to give Asuka a firm "What the hell are you thinking?" look failed to convey his message and screwed up his face in such a way that Asuka took it as "Let's give it another try."
Asuka, feeling proud of herself for her benevolence, set up another piece and waited for Misato to be engrossed in her own food once more.
Shinji, out of Asuka's line of sight, went back to trying to use a fork with his off-hand. He slowly picked up a piece of egg and with a quivering hand brought it halfway to his lips before he saw another piece go flying past from Asuka's direction.
Startled, he grimaced as the piece on his own fork fell back to its resting place on his plate. He glanced to where Asuka's egg landed next to the first by the wall and his brow furrowed. He turned back to Asuka only to be met by another culinary projectile. This one, however, was aimed slightly better and for a moment he thought he might actually be able to get it. Completely ignoring the insanity of the situation he lunged forward and snapped at the piece of egg as it flew past. His aim was horrendous, however, and that piece too ended up populating the steadily growing pile by the wall.
Shinji, giving up on getting Asuka to stop, alternated between trying to get his own egg to his mouth and being distracted by Asuka's "help." Asuka also alternated between eating her own food and flicking pieces towards Shinji in hopes of feeding the little pervert so she wouldn't have to listen to him complain later.
As Misato ate and downed her beer the Children continued. Egg pieces ricocheted off Shinji's forehead, bounced from the wall, got stuck in Shinji's hair, but only one made it into Shinji's mouth. If not for quick thinking on Asuka's part it would have been the beginning of the end.
A surprisingly good toss by Asuka silently made its way to within Shinji's airspace. He saw it coming, having gotten accustomed to the timing, and opened his mouth. The angle was right but the speed was too fast and it was lodged deep into the back of Shinji's throat.
A quick "ACK!" and loud cough from Shinji called the girl's attentions. Not thinking, Shinji raised his right hand quickly and reached for his glass of juice. Asuka's hand, attached as it was, wasn't ready for the movement and didn't clear the edge of the table. The table jerked into the air with a loud WHAM! as Asuka's hand slammed into it, which was followed by the place settings and utensils clattering back down after the table settled once again.
Misato watched the Children as Shinji wheezed and gasped and Asuka whimpered, tears coming to her eyes.
"Are... you two ok...?" Misato asked, full of concern.
Right hand once again stored safely under the table Shinji waved his left and said, "Fine! Fine!" between gasps, then snatched his juice and downed most of it.
Asuka caught her bottom lip between her teeth with a grimace etched into her features, then after a few seconds bit out a pained, "Just fine."
Misato glanced sidelong at them for a moment, curiously watching them resume their eating before going back to her own. She kept a suspicious eye on them but Asuka was already on high alert.
Silence reigned for a moment as Asuka stared at Misato.
Finally... Asuka spoke.
"You know, Shinji broke your ceramic owl lamp."
Shinji stared at Asuka, dumbfounded.
Misato blinked, then anger descended on her face like an avalanche, "He what!?"
Misato shot up, knocking her chair over and stomped out of the room furiously. "He better not have!" she called.
Asuka grabbed a confused Shinji and yanked him out of his chair, heading towards the front door. Shinji stumbled after, stammering but was outclassed by the rampaging redhead.
"Shoes. Bag. GO!" Asuka commanded as she handed the items to Shinji. He took them numbly and let himself be ushered out the door by Asuka after she retrieved her own.
Back in the apartment a calm Misato walked back out of her room into the living area and said confusedly, "I don't have a ceramic owl lamp."