DISCLAIMER: all belongs to Joss …I only borrow

NOTES: Sorry!! Am so busy with studying that I don´t get anything done!!!!

Thank you for your kind reviews!!!!!

WHAT IS NOW:………

„ Alice…" Angel tried to say in a calming voice, reaching out to touch her shoulder, but the

young slayer brushed him of with an impatient gesture.

" No …..you know something. Tell me what just happened."

" We don´t really know…"  he said. Even Mal could tell that he was lying. Behind them Lorne rolled his eyes, downing another drink to battle the headache.

Alice´s eyes flickered to Spike who avoided her gaze.

" You both know …or at least you have an idea…….tell me!"

" Alice…."

She shook her head, angrily.

" If you can´t tell me the truth then I can´t even look at you right now!" She hissed at him, storming out of the club.

" Lost….." Alice looked up to find River standing in the doorway. The young girl tilted her head sideways, her intense dark eyes never leaving the slayer. Alice sat huddled in a chair in the kitchen, trying to shake the scary feeling of not being in control of her own actions. She felt betrayed by her companions and it made her sad.

" What?"

River looked over her shoulder as if to ensure that they were alone before she tiptoed over to Alice, crouching down next to her. Alice gazed into her eyes, there was intelligence there and so much more ……a knowledge. River leaned into her almost like a child that meant to share a secret of utmost importance.Gingerly she put her hands around Alice´s face, drawing a shuddering breath.

" You are not alone …" she whispered eerily.

" Not alone …..in there…….in the dark….." She squeezed her eyes shut, withdrawing her hands with a gasp. Alice grabbed her wrists, holding onto to them so that River was still close.

" You know who took me over? …..You can see ……what did you see?"

River gazed into the young woman´s eyes with a dreamy expression on her face, her voice was husky, barely above a whisper.

" The one, the first ……and the last. The one who gave her life and yet lived. She gave  her power to you  …all of you, like they brought it upon the first ……but they are no more, they are shadow and dust. It was all for nothing …… and now she is lost."

Alice shook her head. " I don´t understand ….….."

" She cannot rest……..not at peace, she can never be…….so alone, so lost……I cannot see her in the dark, but you are like a spark, a candle in the window of this world. You are like a beacon leading her ….home, like a fire in the deepest night. She wants to huddle around that fire ….just like the two others do."

There were steps on the metal. It was Simon looking for his sister, behind him Alice could see Mal, Spike and Angel who had followed her back  to the ship.

Alice stared at the other girl with wide eyes. Mal turned his head to Angel and Spike standing in the doorway, taking the whole scurrility of the scene in. Angel´s face was hidden in the darkness of the corridor while Spike´s blue eyes shone in the harsh lighting. River turned her face to them very slowly, her eyes roaming over them for a moment.

" There is so much pain in this room …makes me dizzy. She´s not whole….anymore. Just like your two men are not whole ………………both longing, both missing ……one stumbling around in the dark. He lost his eyes……she closed her eyes so long ago and ….the other longing for what he never called his…. "

" Explain to me……" Alice begged.

" Let it go Alice!" Angel told her in a very clipped voice, his face still hidden.

" NO!" She said, shaking her head. " You both seem to know, you seem to have at least an inkling of what is going on here, but whatever it was took over my body! I deserve to know!"

Simon was about to gather his sister up from the floor when River suddenly leaned forward again, bringing her face very close to Alice to whisper into her ear with a sing song voice.

 "There has always been the one to stand against the tide ……..one like you, from ancient first to her and countless others, now you are all that is left. You are all that is left."

" Please ….I need to understand!" Alice returned, searching River´s face.

" She borrowed from you …….now she borrows from me, she has no speech ……and her name means nothing and everything, she needs  someone to speak for her." She was still whispering in hushed tones, but her raw voice carried far in the muted silence, her eyes fluttered.

" Who is she?" Alice asked, a cold knot settling deep in her stomach, clenching violently enough to make her cry out.

" There is a new world, a new desert and the trees grew back while she was sleeping, so very lost ……they made her numb, mute…made her wither and die,…made her sleep on the bed of her own bones. " River´s hands closed around Alice´s in a painful grip. She took a seething breath.

" She´s you …….she´s the sister, the daughter, the friend, the lover. She is the source ….the first and the last before so many came……..she is the slayer and she needs to walk this world again."

" Buffy…." It was just one word, Spike merely breathed it and yet it rang in the air like a shot.

Alice turned to look at the blond vampire, eyes bright blue like the heart of a flame, his face raw with pain.