(A/N) Okay folks! Not much to say really. Sorry about the stupid summery, I suck at those. This is my first Inuyasha fanfic, (and the first fanfic that I have written and put up in a long time.) I'll take any kind of review, but instead of flaming how about you tell me what you don't like. The rating is for later chapters. "Means talking" Means thought. Umm, I think that is all and thank you for taking time to read! Ai Meri
Summery: Naraku's defeat is bittersweet when he pulls one final trap. After losing everything important to her, Sango tries to follow Miroku's last request of her.
Part One: Juzu
Ninety-eight, ninety-nine, one hundred, one hundred and one. Only eleven are missing.
"Sango?" The voice was far away, high pitched and feminine. Sango didn't reply there would be no reason too. With Inuyasha's nose he and Kagome would find her soon enough. Running the broken strand of light blue prayer beads through her bloodstained fingers Sango began to count them again.
"Oi! Sango! Miroku!" This voice was closer, male and gruff, Inuyasha's.
Bitter tears stung her eyelids and threaten to fall. Why yell? Can't you smell it you stupid hanyou? Can't you tell that he isn't here anymore? Sango barely registered the fact that someone was running up behind her. She only paused in her counting when a pair of thin arms were thrown around her shoulders.
"It's over! We did it!" Kagome laughed into her ear "Naraku, he's gone! We di-" she stopped when she saw what was in Sango's lap. A small blood stained body that looked peaceful enough to be sleeping. "Sango..." Kagome trailed off unsure of what to say to the poor girl.
Sango didn't say anything; she had given up her foolish thoughts of Kohaku coming out of this alive a long time ago. She only mourned over his body because she couldn't over the one she wanted to.
"Sango, where's Miroku?"
"He said I couldn't follow him, he wouldn't allow it because-" Sango stopped, her tears leaving warm tracks down her face. Dropping the beads she hugged Kohaku to her chest. "He hit me and ran."
"Sango?" Kagome's arm's tightened around her shoulders.
"The bastard left me! He said he couldn't die happy unless I lived." Sango was sobbing and screaming, but she didn't care. "He hit me so I couldn't follow, the selfish bastard didn't even think of what I wanted!"
"Kagome?" Inuyasha's voice beckoned for the younger girl. With a final squeeze Kagome left Sango in the clearing, she found Inuyasha standing next a large hole in the ground. They had seen one like it before, but older and with a gravestone. This one's only ornamentation was a shakujou left at its side. They had defeated Naraku only moments too late.
They buried Kohaku's body near the river. Dressed in his taijiya uniform he looks both older and younger than his thirteen years. Inuyasha had tracked down a wandering Buddhist monk with an apprentice to perform the customary rites for Kohaku and Miroku. To ensure that their spirits would pass over to be reborn. For their services the monks were giving food and candles, and a place to stay. Sango made it a point to learn their names; she couldn't get herself to call them Houshi-sama. During the night she approached the younger of the two, while he paused in his mediation to eat.
"Amane-sama, do you have a moment?"
A pleasant smile crossed his young face and he indicated for her to sit down. "I heard from the young miko that you were the sister of one the deceased and very close to the other. I was wondering if you need someone to talk to."
Using her bangs and ducking her head Sango hid the tears that were welling up. "No, it's not that. I was wondering if you could repair this?" She handed him the strand of prayer beads.
"This is a juzu of monk."
"I know." The number of beads on a juzu indicated the progress of someone on their path to Buddha. Monks usually had strands of 108 or 112 beads when everyone else only had strands of 30 or 40 beads. "They belonged to my, my friend." She stumbled over the last few words.
The monk smiled and patted her on the shoulder "Then I shall repair it for you." When the beads were returned to Sango she looped them around her right hand and wrist in imitation of a hand that would often find its way to her rear.
After three days of mediation, reflection, and prayer the monks went on their way and the former Shikon no Tama hunters headed towards Kaede's village. What should have been a celebratory march home started off quiet and depressed. As the days and miles passed some things went back to normal. Inuyasha and Kagome started to bicker over almost every little thing, Shippo began to demand candy and Kagome's constant attention all the while harassing Inuyasha, and, while still a bit painful, Sango found herself smiling at their antics.
She missed her Houshi-sama more than she let on. She would have traded anything to feel his hand grope her again. She rarely cried for him, though she often woke up to find her pillow wet, mostly she just felt numb. There were moments when she would look over her should expecting to see him walking behind her. Every night before she fell asleep she would wish to wake up and find that it had all been a dream. More than once she had considered telling Kagome to take care of Kirara before walking to a secluded spot to kill herself. But that would ruin everything, suicide would keep her soul from being reborn, and then she would never see Miroku again. All she could do was live and pray for a short life.
When they reached Kaede's village the Shikon no Tama was put back into the shrine with Inuyasha and Kagome, when she wasn't in school in her time, as its guardians. Sango stayed with them, advertising her skill as a taijiya. She was glad for the work, it kept her mind occupied. While Sango put all of her heart into the fight, her mind was cloudy. She was careless when she fought, surviving mostly by skill and luck, not by thought. While there were still thought of restarting the Slayer's village, Sango had no idea on how to do it.
Walking home after removing a pesky but weak weasel demon from a minor lord's mansion, Sango passed a wedding ceremony. It brought back memories of standing next to a river and being asked if she would live and bear the children of the only man she ever truly loved. Would I have been married now? Would I be running towards Houshi-sama now to tell him that my cycle was off? Her eyes blurred from tears and her hands shook. I can hear his laughter at the news as he grabs my waist and kis-STOP IT! Gripping Kirara to her chest Sango ran away from the ceremony. She ran blindly only stopping when her foot became tangled with some exposed roots.
"Sango." The voice was monotonous. It came from the boy standing half hidden in the wooded area.
Her eyes dart back and forth between the shell that is her brother, her only living relative and to Naraku, her mortal enemy who took almost everything away from her. She tightened her grip on Hiraikotsu and her wakizashi. The boy looks at her for only a moment more before disappearing into the shadows of the forest. She is unsure of what to do, should she stay and support her friends or go after her brother? This whole thing stinks of a trap.
"Go after Kohaku." Inuyasha orders after a moment, "We don't need him attacking us from behind."
Sango just nods a response before running after her brother. The jingle of the decorative rings of a shakujou tells her that she is not alone. She internally smiles; Houshi-sama is the only thing that Naraku hasn't taken away from her yet. They run together until the chain sickle of Kohaku flashes through the air. She blocks it with the Hiraikotsu; her goal is to tangle the sickle and fight her brother in close-combat. With the next throw she draws the wakizashi, dodging the sickle she aims for the chain and with a sudden thrust she tangles the blade with several of the links before driving the sword into the ground.
With his primary weapon gone, Kohaku runs at her with his own wakizashi. Knowing that her Hiraikotsu is useless she doesn't reach for it, instead she triggers the hidden blade inside of her sleeve. Using it to parry she waits for an opening, where she will either hit her brother in the chest or the back of the head knocking him unconscious. While her hopes are low that he will survive much long, she will do all in her power to keep him alive. After a few steps of their dangerous dance an opening is seen, but not for her. Stepping quickly but quietly Miroku steps up behind Kohaku and brings a swift chop to the back of the boy's neck. Kohaku's eyes clear up for a moment, losing the glazed dead look, before stumbling into Sango's arm.
She takes off his mempo, before laying Kohaku down onto the ground. His pulse is steady and his breathing is deep, she isn't worry. "Thank you, Houshi-sama, Kirara will stay here to watch over him, let's go join the others." Standing up, she keeps an eye on her brother instead of where she is going and ends up walking straight into Miroku, who takes full advantage of this moment.
One of his arms wraps around her waist pulling her in closer, his other hand tilts her face up. With a sigh he rests his forehead against her, his thumb gently running across her bottom lip down the side of her face. Her face turns warm and pink, "Houshi-sama?" She stammers.
He doesn't respond with the beautiful words that seem to flow so easily from him, instead he leans and kisses her gently. The whole situation takes less than ten seconds, but it feels like a lifetime has passed. Miroku pulls away, "Let's go help the other." Sango can only nod in response.
They barely take ten steps when Kohaku screams. Spinning around Sango sees her brother on his knees his arms wrapped around his head. She runs to him, and gathers him into his arm. "I killed them all Sango! I tried to kill you!" the young boy sobs into her shoulder. She whispers comforts to him while rocking him back and forth like a small child. Miroku comes up behind her and reaches out with his right hand. This was the moment Naraku was waiting for.
The only warning they had was brief stiffing of Kohaku's body. With that he pushed Sango out of the way and drove his wakizashi up to the hilt into the center of Miroku's hand, severing the prayer beads. The juzu drops to the ground as the hilt of the wakizashi disappeared into the uncontrolled Kazaana. Kohaku jumps up and runs toward his grounded chained sickle, as Miroku backs up keeping his hand fisted and up to his chest. Sango finds herself frozen, unable to move. She just watches as her brother picks up the sickle, there is enough slack left in the chain for him to raise it above his head, his eyes still glazed over, showing Naraku's control. With one quick swing Kohaku buries his weapon into his back, dislodging the small pink jewel shard there. Still frozen, Sango watches as her brother falls for the very last time. It's not till the monk speaks to her that she breaks out of the spell.
"Sango?" Miroku is standing away from her, his face is pale. He keeps his right hand pulled tight to chest. "Sango, I just wanted to say I'm sorry for everything."
She begins to walk towards him, dreading what she knows is happening. "Houshi-sama, no." is all she can whisper.
"Stay there, please don't come any closer." He pleads, crying now. "Sango, I just want you to know that I love you."
Sango runs towards him, when she gets to him she wraps her arms around him. "Don't leave me." She can feel a slight pull from the Kazaana.
"I would hate myself for all eternity if I caused your death Sango." He doesn't try to push her away though; his uncursed hand wipes away her tears. "Do me a favor?"
"Anything."
"Just be happy."
Sango just sobs harder into his chest. How could she be happy if he was gone?
"One final thing, Sango, let me be selfish. Say my name."
Looking up Sango looks him in the eye "Mi-Miroku. I love you Miroku."
With that he kissed her on the forehead, and drives his fist into her stomach. Winding her and dropping Sango to her knees. "I can't have you follow me Sango, I love you too much." And then he was gone. Collapsing onto the ground Sango sees the broken strand of prayer beads; they're all she has left of him.
Translations (I'm going to skip over the words you all probably know, but if there are any questions feel free to ask)
Juzu: Buddhist prayer beads
Shakujou: A decorative staff used by Buddhist monks
Wakizashi: A short sword between 21 and 24 inches long
Mempo: A decorative, protective face mask