Lana ran a cool cloth across the battered face of her sister. The
discoloration that had touched her face earlier was nothing compared to the
blackened skin that now stretched across most of her body.
: I should have killed him.
The thought echoed through her mind as Marlyne's eyes opened painfully slow.
Her green eyes blinked in confusion under the steel gaze of her sister.
"Lana? What are you doing here? What happened? Gods! Eirnay? Where is she? Is she alright? What have you done with her?" Whatever else Marlyne had happened in her life she was a dedicated mother.
"She's fine. She's playing in the hall. Haven's sake. You sound like I was the one who put her in that situation. Marl, how could you? I thought you were finally happy with Jerome's people. Why did you leave them? Why did you put yourself and Eirnay through that hell?"
Marlyne turned her head from her sister. "Jerome's family was kind but they always wanted more of me than I could give. They even expected me and Eirnay to help in the fieldwork. I guess I just thought that we shouldn't have had to do that. Then, when I ran out of money..I couldn't go back Lana. I couldn't. If you hadn't left me at that damn temple then I wouldn't have met Jerome and I could have been with you the whole time. Instead, look what happened. I told you I didn't want to be there. I told you," she ended her tirade on a sob.
Lana stiffened her steel eyes taking on an even colder hue.
"Oh, I see this is all my fault Marl. I after all forced you to offer yourself to one of the temple priests who just happened to have been a farmer before he came to the temple. I after all made you marry him when you found you we pregnant. And of course, when he died and you no longer thought you could stand living at the temple-where you 'had been so happy' as you once told me---made you go and live with his kin. Then when they asked you to help with their livelihood as they would have done to any of their daughters I forced you to leave. Not to mention the fact that I filled your fool head with so much pride that I forbade you to return to them and instead become a whore in the worst part of the profession. You're right Marl, I'm completely at fault."
"You just can't understand. You have no idea what it was like." She moaned pulling her coverings tight around her neck.
"Then tell me little sister. Tell me how hard it has been on you. Because I really don't think you even get how good you could have had it. That temple was one of the few in our area that gave its members full, happy and normal lives. You could have stayed there and had a purpose. Not to mention a home and food for you and the little one. That's what bother's me the most about all of this: you never even gave one thought to Eirnay. How could you be so selfish?" Her voice rose in volume the words becoming heated and edged toward the end.
Marlyne's voice shrieked in protest at that remark. " You of all people have no right to say that I was only thinking of myself. Look at you. This place seems to be nice. How could you afford it if you hadn't gone out and made your way in this world? You never gave me the option. No, you just stuck me in a temple and expected that I would be happy when you went off to have your adventures."
Lana's voice calmed becoming clear and cool. "Adventure. So that's what you think I've been doing all these years. I suppose one could view in that light-if you were an over romantic bard. No little sister, I haven't been having an adventure. I've been trying to become strong enough to pay our father back for what he has done. For what he continues to do."
"What do you mean?"
"Mother, didn't die naturally. Lord Tallmont had her poisoned. We were in fact lucky to just be thrown out. Many others haven't been so fortunate. Eight years ago I apprenticed myself to a group of thieves. I hated it but I needed the skills that they could provide. I needed to be able to move in the darkest parts of Haven not afraid of the 'bad' people because I was one of them. For three years, I stool anything and everything I was told to by the gang leader. For three years, I woke up each day wanting to vomit and hating myself for it. Then things got worse."
Marlyne's green eyes bored into her sister's face. As if somehow searching for understanding.
Her voice wavered becoming deeper as if trapped in some hidden memory. "I realized that I could never seek just against Lord Tallmont as a thief. That I could never steal enough from him to repay Mother. So I became something more and less than a thief. I became a murderer. At first I had little choice in the training I received. Each face, each victim are forever etched upon my soul. I killed many. My only consolation is that those who tasted my blades deserved to die those who did not I warned away. Five years, little sister, of killing do you know what that does to you? "
She paused waiting for a response. None came.
"It eats the very marrow away from your heart. It turns every part of you black and whatever you believe to be still innocent in your soul it taints and corrupts. You become nothing but an extension of your weapon. You loose yourself. That is what I have been doing over the past eight years while you stayed in your temple and married your man. I have dedicated my life and given up my soul to find justice."
"Give it up then if it takes so much from you. Mamma wouldn't have wanted this for either or us. I know she wouldn't have wanted you to be a killer or me a .whore." Tears started streaming down her face.
"Oh, Lana it was so awful. I can't do this anymore. It was so awful. I hurt so bad Lana. Make it all go away. I want it all to stop," her words were muffled in the blanket she had smashed against her face. Hiding herself from the world seemed the only safety.
"Lana you have to give it up too. We can find a place. You must have money. We can start over. We can be free."
The hope in her voice made Lana hesitate for a moment before answering. "Little sister, I can't. I'm going to make sure that you and Eirnay are alright though but I can't quit. This isn't just about Mamma anymore. Lord Tallmont is a very evil man. Someone needs to stop him."
"Than let the Heralds do it. That's their job. What makes you think that you can stop him better?"
"The Heralds are fighting a war. What goes on in Valdemar is secondary as long as it doesn't affect their bloody politics. I doubt they even know that our father is what he is. I cannot let their neglectful ignorance prevent him from seeing justice."
"But why Lana. Why?"
"Because of littles like Eirnay. Because of the children we once were. Because of Mamma. Because he needs to suffer for the things he has done. He is part of a child labor selling group. Some of the little girls Eirnay's age are sold to brothels. I can't sit back and let him continue. Marl, this is what I have given up my soul for. I can't turn away."
"But what about us Lana? What are we going to do?"
"Don't worry little sister. I'll provide you with the ability to take care of yourself. But you have to be willing to take it."
"What do you mean?"
"This inn is also a tavern. Molly, the owner, owes me a favor. If you want you and Eirnay can stay here. You will have to work. But it is better than being beaten to a bruised pulp. Or I can take you back to Jerome's kin. Your choice, your future."
"I can't go back to them Lana. I.just can't.Is Molly, a kind woman? Can we have a room? Is it safe?"
"This is one of the better establishments and is a good job. She has a loud voice and a soft heart. Molly will most likely let you keep this room itself. The neighborhood is clean and the Heralds themselves have visited The Dove's Crossing a time or two. That's about as safe as you can get."
"I'd like it then. Thank you Lana. I'm sorry.I don't know."
"Don't say anything. The past is gone little sister. All of it. We just have to pick up from here. I won't be back until this is over. It is going to become too dangerous. Take care of yourself and the little one. I've arranged for the Healer to send over some poultices for your face."
Lana reached for the door handle.
"You didn't loose your soul you know Lana. Or anything else. I love you, and be safe."
A shudder went through Lana's compact frame before she exited the room without a word.
Marlyne sat in the center of the bed lost in thought. Much was different than she had thought it to be. Very different. It took her several candle marks to adjust before she stretched her abused muscles, dressed, and headed out of the room.
Eirnay sat outside the doorway playing with a small doll-a gift of Lana's no doubt.
: Sister, you are not as dark as you seem to think.
"Poppet, I want you to stay here and play till I get back," her eye's widened in shock as the child threw herself around he waist.
"Mamma don't go! Don't leave me please!"
"No sweetling, I'm just going downstairs to see if Mistress Molly could use my help for the evening meal. I'm not going anywhere."
That seemed to pacify the little girl enough so that she went back to her doll.
: I guess you weren't the only one who was wrong about themselves though.
She straightened her shoulders. There was much work to be done but it was a start.
: I should have killed him.
The thought echoed through her mind as Marlyne's eyes opened painfully slow.
Her green eyes blinked in confusion under the steel gaze of her sister.
"Lana? What are you doing here? What happened? Gods! Eirnay? Where is she? Is she alright? What have you done with her?" Whatever else Marlyne had happened in her life she was a dedicated mother.
"She's fine. She's playing in the hall. Haven's sake. You sound like I was the one who put her in that situation. Marl, how could you? I thought you were finally happy with Jerome's people. Why did you leave them? Why did you put yourself and Eirnay through that hell?"
Marlyne turned her head from her sister. "Jerome's family was kind but they always wanted more of me than I could give. They even expected me and Eirnay to help in the fieldwork. I guess I just thought that we shouldn't have had to do that. Then, when I ran out of money..I couldn't go back Lana. I couldn't. If you hadn't left me at that damn temple then I wouldn't have met Jerome and I could have been with you the whole time. Instead, look what happened. I told you I didn't want to be there. I told you," she ended her tirade on a sob.
Lana stiffened her steel eyes taking on an even colder hue.
"Oh, I see this is all my fault Marl. I after all forced you to offer yourself to one of the temple priests who just happened to have been a farmer before he came to the temple. I after all made you marry him when you found you we pregnant. And of course, when he died and you no longer thought you could stand living at the temple-where you 'had been so happy' as you once told me---made you go and live with his kin. Then when they asked you to help with their livelihood as they would have done to any of their daughters I forced you to leave. Not to mention the fact that I filled your fool head with so much pride that I forbade you to return to them and instead become a whore in the worst part of the profession. You're right Marl, I'm completely at fault."
"You just can't understand. You have no idea what it was like." She moaned pulling her coverings tight around her neck.
"Then tell me little sister. Tell me how hard it has been on you. Because I really don't think you even get how good you could have had it. That temple was one of the few in our area that gave its members full, happy and normal lives. You could have stayed there and had a purpose. Not to mention a home and food for you and the little one. That's what bother's me the most about all of this: you never even gave one thought to Eirnay. How could you be so selfish?" Her voice rose in volume the words becoming heated and edged toward the end.
Marlyne's voice shrieked in protest at that remark. " You of all people have no right to say that I was only thinking of myself. Look at you. This place seems to be nice. How could you afford it if you hadn't gone out and made your way in this world? You never gave me the option. No, you just stuck me in a temple and expected that I would be happy when you went off to have your adventures."
Lana's voice calmed becoming clear and cool. "Adventure. So that's what you think I've been doing all these years. I suppose one could view in that light-if you were an over romantic bard. No little sister, I haven't been having an adventure. I've been trying to become strong enough to pay our father back for what he has done. For what he continues to do."
"What do you mean?"
"Mother, didn't die naturally. Lord Tallmont had her poisoned. We were in fact lucky to just be thrown out. Many others haven't been so fortunate. Eight years ago I apprenticed myself to a group of thieves. I hated it but I needed the skills that they could provide. I needed to be able to move in the darkest parts of Haven not afraid of the 'bad' people because I was one of them. For three years, I stool anything and everything I was told to by the gang leader. For three years, I woke up each day wanting to vomit and hating myself for it. Then things got worse."
Marlyne's green eyes bored into her sister's face. As if somehow searching for understanding.
Her voice wavered becoming deeper as if trapped in some hidden memory. "I realized that I could never seek just against Lord Tallmont as a thief. That I could never steal enough from him to repay Mother. So I became something more and less than a thief. I became a murderer. At first I had little choice in the training I received. Each face, each victim are forever etched upon my soul. I killed many. My only consolation is that those who tasted my blades deserved to die those who did not I warned away. Five years, little sister, of killing do you know what that does to you? "
She paused waiting for a response. None came.
"It eats the very marrow away from your heart. It turns every part of you black and whatever you believe to be still innocent in your soul it taints and corrupts. You become nothing but an extension of your weapon. You loose yourself. That is what I have been doing over the past eight years while you stayed in your temple and married your man. I have dedicated my life and given up my soul to find justice."
"Give it up then if it takes so much from you. Mamma wouldn't have wanted this for either or us. I know she wouldn't have wanted you to be a killer or me a .whore." Tears started streaming down her face.
"Oh, Lana it was so awful. I can't do this anymore. It was so awful. I hurt so bad Lana. Make it all go away. I want it all to stop," her words were muffled in the blanket she had smashed against her face. Hiding herself from the world seemed the only safety.
"Lana you have to give it up too. We can find a place. You must have money. We can start over. We can be free."
The hope in her voice made Lana hesitate for a moment before answering. "Little sister, I can't. I'm going to make sure that you and Eirnay are alright though but I can't quit. This isn't just about Mamma anymore. Lord Tallmont is a very evil man. Someone needs to stop him."
"Than let the Heralds do it. That's their job. What makes you think that you can stop him better?"
"The Heralds are fighting a war. What goes on in Valdemar is secondary as long as it doesn't affect their bloody politics. I doubt they even know that our father is what he is. I cannot let their neglectful ignorance prevent him from seeing justice."
"But why Lana. Why?"
"Because of littles like Eirnay. Because of the children we once were. Because of Mamma. Because he needs to suffer for the things he has done. He is part of a child labor selling group. Some of the little girls Eirnay's age are sold to brothels. I can't sit back and let him continue. Marl, this is what I have given up my soul for. I can't turn away."
"But what about us Lana? What are we going to do?"
"Don't worry little sister. I'll provide you with the ability to take care of yourself. But you have to be willing to take it."
"What do you mean?"
"This inn is also a tavern. Molly, the owner, owes me a favor. If you want you and Eirnay can stay here. You will have to work. But it is better than being beaten to a bruised pulp. Or I can take you back to Jerome's kin. Your choice, your future."
"I can't go back to them Lana. I.just can't.Is Molly, a kind woman? Can we have a room? Is it safe?"
"This is one of the better establishments and is a good job. She has a loud voice and a soft heart. Molly will most likely let you keep this room itself. The neighborhood is clean and the Heralds themselves have visited The Dove's Crossing a time or two. That's about as safe as you can get."
"I'd like it then. Thank you Lana. I'm sorry.I don't know."
"Don't say anything. The past is gone little sister. All of it. We just have to pick up from here. I won't be back until this is over. It is going to become too dangerous. Take care of yourself and the little one. I've arranged for the Healer to send over some poultices for your face."
Lana reached for the door handle.
"You didn't loose your soul you know Lana. Or anything else. I love you, and be safe."
A shudder went through Lana's compact frame before she exited the room without a word.
Marlyne sat in the center of the bed lost in thought. Much was different than she had thought it to be. Very different. It took her several candle marks to adjust before she stretched her abused muscles, dressed, and headed out of the room.
Eirnay sat outside the doorway playing with a small doll-a gift of Lana's no doubt.
: Sister, you are not as dark as you seem to think.
"Poppet, I want you to stay here and play till I get back," her eye's widened in shock as the child threw herself around he waist.
"Mamma don't go! Don't leave me please!"
"No sweetling, I'm just going downstairs to see if Mistress Molly could use my help for the evening meal. I'm not going anywhere."
That seemed to pacify the little girl enough so that she went back to her doll.
: I guess you weren't the only one who was wrong about themselves though.
She straightened her shoulders. There was much work to be done but it was a start.