APPENDIX: My Will...
by Divinelight December 2004 English Language
penname: astragunner2002
AUTHOR's WORD
Telling the truth, I don't wanna continue this fic, but seeing how I derive Lacan's life so blurry, I decided to add some.
So, basically this fic is the continuation of Lacan's story within Xenogears.
DISCLAIMER
All Xenogears' properties belong to Takahashi-san.
Lacan's point of view:
It's already almost 5 months since that time... when I see 'Elly' for the last time... Damn those whole people... Solaris, Shevat, they are just the same...
I still cannot understand... just why 'Elly' want to sacrifice herself… just for them? Those heartless humans… they don't even deserve to keep living… I just… I just can't understand…
And here am I, running from my own destiny as a human… no, I don't want to be just a human, like those filthy creatures… And now, I'm searching the path of 'god'.
I'm walking and keep walking… as I follow my own will, into the end of the world… searching for something that for everyone is just an illusion…
Then… I find that 'ship'… Mahanon, the 'vessel of god', deep buried within the polar of the world, hidden in the endless snowstorm…
I go inside, looking for what I'm aiming for, deep within this structure, there must be some way to become 'god', I'm sure of it. As I enter the dark chamber, suddenly I can sense a presence…
"Who are you, mortal?" said an echoing sound directly to inside of me.
"I'm Lacan, and I want to search for the path of 'god'!" I shouted to the sound.
"A 'contact' after all, huh?" said that sound again…
'Contact'? All I know, 'contact' is the person who is the founder of humanity for this planet, that keep reincarnating across the history of humanity.
"What do you mean? What are you?" I asked as I challenge the sound.
"I am the Wave Existence, the Entity far greater than you.. mortal," the sound replied me.
"You said that you search for the path of 'god'?" the sound asked me again.
"Yeah, I want to become 'god'!" as I replied.
The scenery around me got blurry, and my visions just fading away…
"Lacan… wake up," I awake as I hear the familiar sound…
As I got my sense, my visions is about to become clearer…
"Elly? Is that really you?" I asked as I see 'Elly' in front of me…
'Elly' smiled back at me, helping me to awake.
Seeing her in front of my own eyes, I just cannot control over myself anymore.
Then, I hug her… really tight, I don't want to release her…. Not again…
"Lacan…" I hear she call for me.
"Elly… what happened? Where is this?" I asked not releasing my hug yet, as I realize we are not in some room, but more likely we are inside some kind of space…
" "Path of Sepiroth"… that's what Wave Existence told me…" she answered me.
Slowly I release my hug, still cannot contain my joy to see her again with my own eyes.
I don't want to know whatever other than to see her… as I don't care about every other things.
"No, Lacan… I'm sorry…" Elly said to me in grief tone, hiding her face from me.
"Elly…" as I want to reach her.
"I cannot see you anymore… this is farewell for us…" she said as tears glowing from the edge of her eyes.
"No… Elly, don't say like that," I keep trying to reach her… but I just cannot, there's some force that separate us… that I couldn't break…
"Lacan… I just wanna say… I love you, Lacan…" she said as I see her moving backward… as she is more unreachable from me…
"No… Elllyyyy!!" I keep shouting to her as she is gradually vanishing…
"No, Elly! NOOO!!!!" I shout as loud as I can…
"What will you do then, mortal?" the sound of Wave Existence return to me.
"I… I hate them… Shevat… Solaris… not just them… I HATE ALL THE HUMANS!!" I shout again to the void.
"If that what you desire… I'll lend the power of Zohar upon you… 'contact' " the voice said as I felt something arise within me… the hate… the sorrow, now replaced by the hate for all the humans… as a great, unlimited power born inside me…
Yes, I'm not a human anymore… I am now 'god'! All my sorrow, I don't need it anymore… I don't have any sorrow left for me… I just have my WILL… to eliminate humanity!!!
I laughed… very loudly as this place is crumbled, and with my unlimited power, I left 'Mahanon', once again to the world of humanity… TO ELIMINATE THEM!!!
From now on, my WILL will conquer… as I am not 'Lacan" anymore… I AM . . . . GRAFH!
FIN
This is the fanfic of Lacan changing himself as Grafh, hope this is the truth for Xeno story, because I just imaginating how Zohar make a contact to Lacan as the 'contact'… ok, please R&R!
Akuma-kisu: Thanks for your review… I continue this story because of the review, I'll close this one but I'll come back with another Xenogears fanfic. Until then, see you later.