"The Patakis"
(It was supposed to be a spin off from "Hey Arnold")
Written by Renae Aurora. (This story is based on what Craig Bartlett himself said.)
Gothic Snow : I LOVE YOUR SHOW!!! What ever did happen to Arnold's parents???
Craig Bartlett : Good question! We deal with that question in our special "The Journal," which is about how Arnold finds his dad's old journal, and they sit down and read it. It's full of his parents' adventures. And it all sets up the "SECOND ARNOLD MOVIE."
IMPORTANT!: Which as we all know was never made. Because the movie wasn't good enough. So I'm going to do it. Because I have a big imagination. This episode takes place after "The Journal" If you have never seen this episode, go to this link right now and read a short summary. Go to and type in Hey Arnold then go the last season find "the Journal" and read it!(The biggest flaw in the movie is at the end when all the people come out of there houses to see what's going on, when A WREAKING BALL IS COMING TO KNOCK DOWN THEIR HOUSES! With them inside? What the crap?!)
One more thing when the writing is like this "I loathed her" its someone's thoughts.
Ch.1
"Helga's really GONE!"
"THIS IS THE LAAAAASST STRAW YOUNG LADY! THE LAST STRAW!"
The screaming coming from the Pataki household is not an unusual thing, in fact it would be unusual for screaming not echoer. Although, today may be different. . . . .
"I ABSOLUTELY REFUSE! YOU CAN'T MAKE ME!"
"YOU WILL AND YOU'LL LIKE IT!" Bob shouted pulling on Helga's legs, trying to detatch her from the stair case.
"OVER YOUR DEAD BODY!" Helga the "angel" shouted at she gripped the corner of stair case tighter.
"YOU yank WILL pull OBEY tug ME!" with each breathe Mr. Pataki heaved forward, leaned back, pulling as hard as he could on is daughters legs to make her let go. One more tug ought to do it.
Well, what was supposed to be one more tug turned in to three, and then it happened.
Helga let go of the railing, and her and her father went tumbling down the stairs, out the open door, down the front stoop, and on to the concrete side walk outside. There Helga sat, upon her fathers fat belly, eyes wide with shock. Mr. Pataki groaned under neath her, and with bitter anger whispered.
"Helga Geraldine PATAKI!" Helga became rigged as a post. He used her full name, time to run. Helga jumped up quickly ready to escape. A large hand shot up and latched itself to Helga's leg preventing her from moving. She had however succeeded in attaching herself to yet another object. This time it was the bottom railing of the stoop stairs.
"Now Helga Sweet heart dear ya gatta tah do as yer father tells ya."
Helga rolled her eyes as her simple mother came outside to witness the display.
"Don't just stand there Mariam help me!" Helga screamed.
"OLGA THINKS THIS IS WHAT YOU NEED SO YOUR GOING TO DO IT!" Mr. Pataki screamed pulling on Helga's legs once again.
"DOES IT LOOK LIKE I CARE ABOUT WHAT OLGA THINKS?" Helga questioned. "ITS MY LIFE STAY OUT!"
"THIS OBSESSION HAS GONE ON LONG ENOUGH! ITS UN HEALTHY AND UNNATURAL!" Big Bob countered.
At that exact moment Arnold William Love, happened to be walking up to the pataki residence care free and happy.
Look at that Idiot! I'm in dyer stress and danger, and he's whistling with his hands in his pockets, STARING AT THE CLOUDS? oh my gosh! Is Arnold ever going to wake up and realize there's life outside his own perfect one? Wait! I'll never see him again! Helga was ripped out of her thoughts.
"DON'T JUST STAND THERE YOU WHISTLING IDIOT! HELP ME!" Helga screamed at him.
"Uhu?" Arnold looked at the scene with a shocked face, then he came running up to them.
"Mr. Pataki? What are you doing?" he asked.
"YOU!" Mr. Pataki barked blowing Arnold's hair back, spit flying.
"Nice." Arnold stated, with his award winning sigh, and dull look.
"DON'T STAND THERE ASKING STUPID QUESTIONS! PULL!" Helga chanced to let go of the railing extending one hand to Arnold. Arnold looked at it strangely then slowly moved to take it.
"ARNOLD DON'T YOU DARE! SHE'S GOING TO AN ALL GIRLS BOARDING SCHOOL AND THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT!" Bob screamed again.
"I TOLD YOU! NO I AM NOT!" Helga screeched back.
Arnold stood stunned. Boarding school? When? How long? Why? For some unknown reason Arnold's stomach did flip flops and a horrible distressing feeling swept over him. Not only that, but extreme joy and relief as well. So much so were Arnold's feelings jumbled up inside him that he knew not weather to smile or frown. . . . . He frowned.
Arnold's grip became tighter on Helga's hand and he gripped her arm with his other hand. Arnold found himself yelling, well not an actual yell he never yells, but at this moment he felt the need to be heard.
"You Can't Make Her Go If She Doesn't Want To. . . . . . . look I'm sure. . . . . . !"
Bob leaned toward Arnold with a sly expression. "Watch me."
Arnold glared at Mr. Pataki and Mr. Pataki glared back. Arnold then took a hold of both Helga's hands and began pulling. "You Can't Force People To Do As You Like, And Walk All Over Them Its not right!" Arnold's last word was angry and furious, he growled it.
"Wow Arnold, didn't know ya had it in ya! I'm impressed." Helga forgot her predicament long enough to remark upon this achievement.
Arnold was shocked at himself though he didn't show it. "Thanks Helga." He smiled slightly. Me neither.
Mouth wide open, Gerald stood staring at his best friend and Big Bob Pataki playing tuga war with Helga, in the middle of the street for all the world to see. Back and forth, Arnold pulled, then Bob pulled.
"Man what is goin on?" Gerald questioned himself.
Arnold was losing his grip.
"PULL HARDER FOOT BALL HEAD! DON'T LET GO!" The screaming words filled Sid's ears as he stared across the street on his bike. "What the?" Sid squinted. "Is that Arnold?"
"HELGA STOP IT!" Mrs. Pataki was hysterical, standing staring not knowing what to do.
Arnold gave one last tug before Helga was ripped from his hands. Arnold fell backwards on to his butt.
"NO! NO!" Helga was shoved into a taxi cab. She tried to get out, but Bob shoved her head back into the cab and slammed the door. Mr. Pataki opened the front seat door hoped in yelling.
"FLOOR IT!"
The taxi sped off at top speed skidding before it bolted of down the street. Helga plastered her horrified face and hands on to the rear windshield, as the cab drove off, leaving in its place a huge cloud of burned car exhaust.
Arnold coughed and hacked. Then as the dust cleared Gerald ran up to him helping him up.
"You okay Arnold?" Gerald asked.
"Yeah I'm fine." Arnold replied, standing up dusting himself off. He then stared in the spot Helga had been last right before she turned the corner. At that moment Sid came skidding up to Arnold and Gerald on his bike.
"Did just I see what I thought I saw?"
"Hmm! That ant right!" Gerald said shaking his head.
"Tell me about it." Arnold stated frowning hands on hips. He glared after the cab. Stinky appeared next to Sid.
"Wilikers! Was that Helga?"
"Yeah, Helga's really gone!" Arnold said. For a moment all was silent, then Sid began to laugh.
"Oh that's so funny! I cant believe it! Helga's really gone AHAHAHAHA! Good riddance to bad rubbish! AHAHAHA!"
Arnold made an ugly face, glared at Sid with all his might, and stomped away, fists clenched.
"Geez what's his problem?" Sid asked no-one-In-particular.
"Just leave me alone!" Arnold yelled.
"I think he needs some time alone." Gerald said.
Arnold was confused, yes he was happy, yes he was relieved. He had often found himself wishing she would leave sometimes, but somehow. He felt like he had just lost a really good friend. And there was that sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach again.
Scene change to Helga in an Airport, with brown suitcase in hand.
This is all Olga's fault if she hadn't been wondering around, (nosey little witch that she is) this would have never happened. Why'd she have to find my shrine? My poems? My pictures? My obsession!? She didn't understand at all. First thing that stupid twit did after she stumbled in upon my little secret was tell Miriam and Bob that I was insane and needed help. That or seclusion, Helga recalled Olga's words.
"The best thing for her now is to get away from this place! The obsession dare I say is the cause of all her woe! Send her to boarding school!"
"Come along baby sister! We'll miss our flight and that just wouldn't be good now would it?"
"Shut it Olga!" Helga began to walk away hopefully toward the exit of this crazy air port.
Olga just smiled back at her sister while Big Bob pulled on the ropes attached to Helga's wrists.
"Come on Olga."
"Its Helga HELGA! Get it strait!" she screamed giveing Bob a kick in the ass.
Helga pleaded and begged, but all in vane for she found herself in a plane strapped down, glaring up at her sister. You evil witch. I'll get you for this, If it costs me my life!
"Were going to be there at noon tomorrow baby sister! Think of all the fun we'll have, my being a teacher you attending." A huge sickening smile exploded across Olga's face as she hugged Helga.
"Oh baby sister we'll have so much fun!"
Helga cringed away from her kicking and screaming.
15 minutes later.
".................and then we'll have a sleep over and talk all night. We'll study and bake cookies. I picked out all your classes for you! First thing at 5 A.M. you'll have a nutritional breakfast then you'll head for the school building. . . . ."
Olga had been going on now for say hmmm 15 minutes now. Helga was sick and depressed.
"Olga I don't feel good so, I'd appreciate If you just stop yammering, on and on about what a grand time I'll have sipping tea with all my fellow boarders, and take a moment to shut up for ones in your life." Helga turned away from her sister and stared out the window down at the lights of a nameless city bellow her. That's right I'm above you all. Helga thought.
Helga's mind drifted to a small boy with a foot ball shaped head.
No body now's who I really am.
I never felt so empty before, and If I ever need someone to come along,
Who's gonna comfort me, and keep me strong?
Helga sat strait up "THAT WAS GOOD!"
And if you thought that was good, REVIEW!