Still Frame, a harry potter fanfic

If you despise author's notes where the writer just rambles on and on abut stupid shit then skip the next two paragrahs. If you dont like disclaimers either, then skip the paragraph after that too. should really work on that babbling endlessly thing...not good for business.

AN: Ok, grammar might be weird, but this is Harry's wild ramblings and people don't think in grammatically correctness...i don't anyway...that would be weird if someone did, i mean all proper and everything...that would blow my mind cuz i am american and it is my steadfast opinion that we speak a different language than english. It's like the chinese with mandarin and cantonese-two completely different languages almost, but it used to be the same language. that is what american and english are like. And i am ranting i will stop now
THE POINT IS THIS-harry is not nessessarily going to make sense and his thoughts should ramble into each other. Beacuse i am a horrible writer, it will almost certainetly be worse crap than that one movie glitter or whatever it was. Even starving dogs who can and have digested everything (including a pet rhino belonging to a muse of mine) wouldnt want to eat it. So if it sucks, go ahead and flame me, but dont say i didnt warn you.

ok i am going to stop with that acting crazy thing now it scares away potential readers you do that...i'm hungry.../wanders off to hijack a pizza truck/ mmm pizza

Disclaimer: Oh please, if i owned Harry Potter i wouldnt be sitting here avoiding my history homework i'd be off doing something awesome like philosophising with the world's greatest minds, writing the next harry potter book, or snogging a certain someone senseless -drools-

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Still Frame (to the song by Trapt)

i think i'm starting to lose it

Please help me 'cause i'm breaking down, this pictures frozen and i cant get out
Please help me 'cause i'm breaking down, this pictures frozen and i cant get out of here
Believe me, i'm just as lost as you
Believe me, i'm just as lost as you

Everything around me spins and i feel dizzy and i can't concentrate and i think sometimes something is seriously wrong with me. i can't get out of this darkness this hole in my life is so overwhelming, like someone ripped out a vital organ, a lung or something and now the other one is trying to support me, but it can't because it's all alone. i'm falling so deep and i can tell right now that i won't be able to escape, i won't be able to climb my way out of this pit, not in a million lifetimes.

and every time i think ive finally made it
I learn im farther away than i have ever been before
I see the clock and its ticking away, and the hourglass empty
What the fuck do i have to say

prophecy aside i can't control anythingi wake up in the middle of the night, convulsing and trying to conceal my screaming, because vernon can get unbelieveably cranky when his sleep is interupted. i have all this jittery craziness zooming around inside my head Sirius and Cedric and my parents and how it's all my fault.how i don't thinki can get through this. lets be honest here, ifi can't stop being so stupid and ifi keep killing my family and friends, how is the entire wizarding world going to stay around? my mother saved me, she defeated voldemort, and dumbledore was the only reason I got out the ministry of magic unscathed. if this is up to just me,i can see why snape hates me so much; everyone is so obsessed with this, with me winning, but in reality, they're putting their entire lives into in a lost cause, because i have nothing to offer these people but a pathetically fought Final Battle.

Please help me 'cause im breaking down, this pictures frozen and i cant get out
Please help me 'cause im breaking down, this pictures frozen and i cant get out of here
Believe me, im just as lost as you
Believe me, im just as lost as you

this 'destiny' this one must kill the other crap is choking me and everyone around me from the weasley clan to dobby to longbeard himself seems to think everything is just Super-Dandy and my pleadingis just pleasant chamber music in the background.my pain means nothing to them because theyre all fanatics because nothing can get in the way of their Big Plan, oh no!and with the wonderful Harry Potter as the knight in shining armour, everything will go down just swimmingly!

this 'destiny' this one must kill the other crap is choking me and everyone around me from the weasley clan to dobby to longbeard himself seems to think everything is just Super-Dandy and my pleadingis just pleasant chamber music in the background.my pain means nothing to them because theyre all fanatics because nothing can get in the way of their Big Plan, oh !and with the wonderful Harry Potter as the knight in shining armour, everything will go down just swimmingly!

Keep it inside, the image portrayed
As if i couldnt stand losing as if I couldn't be saved, no way
A small confession I think im starting to lose it
I think im drifting away from the people i really need
A small reflection on when we were younger
We had it all figured out 'cause we had everything covered
Now were older its getting harder to see
What this future will hold for us, what thefuck are we going to be?

God i hate this, why doesnt anyone get it. if i can't stop my uncle from almost turning me into the Boy Who Is Now A Bloody Pulp everytime something shitty happens to him, how the hell am i supposed to save anyone? No one will let me be the person i am, i have to just keep on pretending and never let anyone see me. they just made it seem like i was having some kind of off-day or whatever when i tried to be myself.

i'm screaming bloody murder in my head which is really ironic in a not at all funny way consdidering what everyone wants me to do. i am so tired of all the expectations and everything that i am required to do, Keep hermoine happy, dont best her in grades, keep ron happy dont be good at anything, keep dumbledore happy be a warrior but not too strong or people will wonder how their hero is so violent, despise Tom with every ounce of my being and never understand him. which is funny because i could have been just like him without weasley interference.

So lost, I'm just as lost as you
Oh well what am i going to do
I'm afraid im falling farther away (from where i want to be)

this all seems so surrel, so perfectly consturcted at times, like a carefully crafted book one might find in the fantasy section of a muggle bookstore. whichsometimes makes me wonder ifencountering the weasleys, the firstwizards i really met,was some elabortate way of making sure i would be controllable. i know dumbledore knows what goes on in the dursley's house to some extent at least, so one wonders if this was all some big part of the Plan. training me to be his little weapon. but i wonder if he really knows anything about me or this life he has thrust me into. i'm not a superhero. i can't do anything especially not against one of the most powerful wizards around. i don't care about some stupid prophecy i just want to go to sleep and never wake up let neville handle this one. i can't do this i am so tired of everything that has been thrown onme, and no one will let me reat it's so aggrivating. i'm trapped here in this prison of fanatic hope andpower stuggles: the Boy Who Lived canneverback out of his destiny.

Please help me 'cause im' breaking down, this picture's frozen and i cant get out
Please help me 'cause i'm breaking down, this picture's frozen and i cant get out of here
Believe me, i'm just as lost as you
Believe me, i'm just as lost as you

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AN: Ok, if this was weird for anyone, i'm sorry. Harry doesnt respect many peoplein this extremely OOC interpretation of his true character and so he doesnt captialize their names or bother to justfy anything they do. Like i said, he's just ranting and i am well that's not a topic that can be discussed in less than several days shut up. A bit of friendly advice to anyone who cares: muses and other people like that are not nessessarily nice or supportive. i dont even know why we have them #glares#

anyways you MUST MUST MUST REVIEW!!!! or face the wrath of Norbert the cute little dragon!

just out of curiousness, is there even such a thing as a pizza truck?