Well, it was gone. All of it was finished. They had managed to get together long enough to remove the joining spell, and Sarcio had worn off two days ago.
It had been a week that had turned Harry's life upside down, changed so much about himself and what he had taken for granted. He didn't know where he was now, in the grand scheme of what had been the 'Malfoy/Potter Rivalry'.
Draco knew that many of his secrets had been revealed, and Harry knew that so had many of his own.
The two of them hadn't spoken a word to each other since ending the joining spell, and even that moment had been filled with uncomfortable silence. Harry found that he couldn't meet Draco's gaze, and was almost grateful that he could move back to his regular table with either Ron or Hermoine beside him.
And the world around them went on as ordinary, Quiddich, classes, tests and classmates. It was almost unbelieveable that everyone and everything else remained the same, when Harry had changed so much.
What was he supposed to do now? It didn't seem possible that he could just continue on as he had before. There was a desire within him to at least talk to Draco, to say anything that might help clearify things. He wanted to know more about Draco's father, why he had gotten so upset about it before. He wanted to know the truth about those dreams, what they meant. He wanted to know what the truce had turned into, because it certainly wasn't just a simple truce anymore.
He wanted to know what Draco wanted from him, despite the fact that Draco hadn't asked for anything.
Outloud, anyway.
It was because of this that Harry sought the other out after dinner. He had a couple of hours before he would have to show up for Quiddich practice, and he knew Draco didn't have it until tomorrow.
The blond paused when he saw him, and looked tempted to just keep walking. Harry moved in front of Draco's path, just in case.
"So, are we friends now?" Harry questioned.
Draco snorted. "I doubt that," he replied.
"Look, we can avoid each other forever, or we can talk."
"Avoiding sounds nice."
"Not happening," Harry stated firmly, grabbing part of Draco's sleeve and making sure the other came with him to an empty classroom, where they could talk without having half the school eavesdropping.
Draco didn't look very happy about the situation, but he didn't put up a fuss as Harry closed the door behind them.
"Even if I wanted to, I can't put things back to the way they were before. Even without the mind joining spell, things would of changed, and I can't just pretend nothing's happened. You've avoided my questions before, Draco. But given some of the things I've learned, I think I deserve the answers to at least some of those."
"What do you expect out of me, Harry? Dreams are just dreams, and I can't help what they contain no matter how humiliating they are."
"But what do they mean? You can't tell me that it's just a coincidence that you have not one, but two of these dreams while we were joined, and have never had them before. So, what, are you attracted to me? Because I can't think of anything more unlikely, but haven't been able to figure out another reason."
Steel grey eyes flashed in anger, and Draco met his gaze squarely. "They don't mean a damned thing, Potter," he snapped.
Harry raised his eyebrow. "So, I'm "Harry" for one moment, then "Potter" once again the next? I want to know what's going on Draco. No more of these 'running around in circle's' responses." It was at that moment that he realized he'd been using Draco's first name as well, as though their sudden connection wouldn't allow for the formality of last names. The name had passed on his tongue as casually as any other word, as though it didn't signify so much.
Draco stalked closer to him, until they were only a few inches apart. Their noses were nearly touching, and it took almost everything Harry had not to back away from the obvious challenge. "Why can't you let this go?" he questioned.
"I don't know," Harry replied honestly. "The things that happened in those dreams, the words that were said.... They echo in my mind and no matter how hard I try to forget them, they won't go away. I find myself wondering things I never would of thought before, and even though I know I shouldn't be, that doesn't stop it from happening. It's not just curiousity, Draco. I want to know things about you, and just a week ago I never would of thougth that possible."
The silence seemed to stretch between them, before Harry suddenly found his body seized and his lips claimed. His eyes went wide, and he could only hang there for a moment as Draco's mouth forced his lips apart and he felt the other's tongue brush against his own.
It was intoxicating, and his body suddenly errupted in heat, and Harry moaned before he could stop himself. He'd never been kissed before, certainly not like this. He couldn't think, couldn't even breathe, and his legs went weak. He sagged against Draco, unable to pull away from the hands and lips that were upon him.
Just as quickly as it had begun, it ended, and Harry nearly fell over as Draco pulled away from him.
"There, maybe it's out of your system now," Draco said, sounding utterly composed except for a slight breathlessness.
Harry couldn't do anything except watch the other leave, words failing him in his shock.
What the hell was wrong with him? He'd always prided himself on his control. He had always been so very careful, even when his temper was at it's breaking point, to make certain he kept his emotions under tight control. In the last couple of days, he'd been acting like he had none at all, and felt as though all of himself was bared for the world to see.
It had been the questions, the fluent sound of his name on those lips. His hormones had gotten the better of him, and Draco had suddenly found himself kissing Harry.
He couldn't deny it any longer. He had tried so hard to pretend the dreams were just something inane like stress. He'd done his best to insist that his careful watching of the other's form throughout the day had only to do with his competative spirit. He had tried to tell himself that his fascination with the other only had to do with Harry's magical ability, and nothing else.
He'd told himself that his desire was just for Harry's failure, not for Harry himself.
All of that had been shattered, broken by his own actions. How could he of done something so stupid?
It felt as though he were losing himself, piece by piece. First his magic, then his mind, and now his heart. He barely recognized his reflection in the mirror, the face the same, but his eyes achingly different. His eyes, which had always been what betrayed him, betraying him again by showing the confusion and distress he felt. Anyone could see it, plain as day on his face, that something wasn't right. And now he couldn't deny that any longer.
It was something utterly frustraiting, humilitating and horrifying.
If anyone ever found out, Draco couldn't imagine what would happen. If his father ever found out... Draco would be lucky if he was just disowned.
Because it wasn't even as if he were just gay. That might be forgiveable, even if it was dishonorable.
But Draco had never felt anything but a passing desire for anyone other than Harry. He didn't know what curse had been laid upon him, but Draco had never been able to find even a slight attraction to anyone else.
He never should of come to Hogwarts, never should of met Harry Potter. If it hadn't been for that fateful day, his life wouldn't of began to slowly crumble around him.
So, what was he supposed to do now?
What Harry had said and asked, Draco couldn't help the small hope inside of him from thinking that Harry might return his feelings. The other boy hadn't pulled away from Draco when he'd kissed him, although he hadn't really kissed him back.
Was there really anything that he could do? Draco was used to taking action, but was at a complete loss with this sudden situation he'd found himself in.
It seemed, Harry would have to make the second move if there were to be one.