CHAPTER 9 – Expectations and Disappointment
Don was correct in one thing. My body did seem to be familiar with certain moves.
I was surprised with how high I could kick and how hard. The speed of my jabs impressed me as well, but despite all of that, my befuddled brain about the whole idea of katas just couldn't keep up.
One part of the Bassai-sho was especially difficult for me. At one point I was supposed to kick up hard with my right foot and then bring it sharply back towards me, never letting it touch the ground. Then, I was to following that up with kicking the same foot hard straight out in front of me, only to then do a swift one-eighty turn to the left. Up until that neat little turn, I did well. However I would overcompensate every time. What happened was I would end up doing a complete three-sixty twirl.
In ballet, it would have been nice. But where I was trying to do a martial arts kata, it looked ridiculous. My balance would be compromised and I'd wobble trying to keep from falling down.
After a while it became painfully obvious to Don that my mind and body was not one with one another. Heck, it wasn't even one-half. He tried very hard to get me to focus on the task. But about the time he started raising his voice in frustration that was when I told him it wasn't going to work.
"Look, I'm trying I really am. But…I just don't know how to do all of this!" I exclaimed irritably. "I'm NOT Kira!" I reiterated forcibly to him once more.
"That fact is obvious!" he deadpanned. "At least you're trying very hard to convince me of that!" He sounded not too thrilled with me for the moment.
Well, that made two of us, at least.
"So, what am I going to do? I'm expected to go out on patrol with Father this evening. How can I do that?" I moaned, sinking down to the carpeted floor in despair, sitting cross-legged. I sighed deeply. "How much time do I have before he expects me?" I asked pitifully. I picked up the bo-staff that was next to me and inspected it absentmindedly as I awaited Don's reply.
Don sat down and mumbled, "'Bout ten minutes."
"Any chance of getting out of this patrol duty?" I asked hopefully, playing with end of the bo.
"Nope. Once Leo's made up his mind, it's do or die!" Don replied.
"Well, I think I'm going to die tonight!" I mused.
Don chuckled a little at my attempt at humor. I leaned forward and rested my elbows on my legs, supporting my chin in my hands. "What am I going to do?"
"You're going to go out and make the best of it. Tomorrow you and I will work some more. Maybe once you get into the routine of doing katas again it'll all come back to you." Don suggested, looking over at me.
I looked at him and smiled, "Yeah, like getting blood from a turnip." Sighing, I observed, "I'm not stupid. What you did a while go to demonstrate what I needed to do took hours and hours, if not weeks and months to learn."
"Years, actually." Don said casually as he inspected his nails.
"Of course…how silly of me." I saw him smile at my jest. "So, do you have the dedication to stick it out with me?" I asked him, hoping for a negative response.
"Don't have a choice. Neither do you." He smiled, glancing my way. "It's obvious you're physically capable of doing this, but the mind has to be in harmony with it. We're going to have to take this one step at a time, though, until you master it. Then we'll do the next step until you've mastered that and finally join it with the first step. There are 27 movements to the Bassai-sho, which means that it will be a while before you can do it well."
"Wonderful. Maybe by that time my other life will catch up with me!" I lamented, staring ahead at nothing in particular.
We sat there for another minute in silence. Finally I asked Don, "So what am I going to tell Leo?" I scooted around on my rear to face him, waiting for his reply.
"I'd start with the truth!" he suggested, raising one eye ridge at me.
"I've tried that and he didn't believe me!" I replied back, frustrated.
"Hmm…neither do I, Kira!" This time his gaze was hard and serious. I cringed inside, but then I heard him say next, "But I do believe that at the very least you have lost some measure of confidence and maybe some ability. You have not been making a habit of doing your katas for quite a while. That might explain many things." Don paused as he studied me. Then he smiled and offered, "So, maybe going out on patrol tonight will be good for you."
With that he grabbed my left hand and stood up, taking me with him.
"What?" I protested, "I can't go out on patrol! What if we meet up with the Foot? I can't fight. Sheesh, I can't even do katas!"
"Doing katas, Kira, is fighting, only you don't have a physical opponent to spar with. You're pretending to fight, but with the same intensity as if you really did have someone to go up against." He squeezed my shoulder affectionately, "You'll do fine. Your father won't let anything happen to you!"
"Well, I hope he works as well as you do, that's all I have to say!" I muttered.
Don barked out a laugh that caught me by surprise.
"What? What's so funny?" I asked him.
"You, what you just said. Don't you know?" he asked, smirking.
"Duh – remember? I'm the one who just arrived?" I chided derisively.
"Yeah – right. Well, your dad's the best in the clan is what I'm saying. He can take on a dozen Foot soldiers at once and have them down and out in less than a minute!" Don chuckled.
"So, that means I have a lot to live up to…great!" I sighed. What a disappointment I was going to make.
"Hmm…maybe. It's nothing that he's ever voiced, but you are the daughter of our fearless leader so it stands to reason that he would expect more from you than from one of us." Then Don smiled, "But don't lose hope."
"Hope? I've given up on that a long time ago!" I chagrined, jostling the bo-staff that Don said was my weapon of choice.
"At the very least," Don smiled, "you'll be making the rest of us look good; even Raph!" and with that Don slapped my shell a good one and then guided me out of the dojo, laughing, while I gripped my bo-staff firmly in my hands.
~*~*~*~*~*~
I stood there before Father and waited for his response. I had just told him that I had forgotten how to do my katas and that Don had used the hour to refresh my memory. Don added to it saying that he would be willing to take me under his wing as sensei to get me back to my old 'form'; whatever that was.
If silence could be cut with a knife, it would have had to be a pretty sharp one to cut through the quiet that now enveloped the living area. Splinter seemed surprised as he sat in his chair; his ears perked and his whiskers swept forward in anticipation. He was still the patriarch of the clan, but due to his age Leo had assumed responsibility with keeping everyone's fighting ability honed to perfection.
I saw Raphael sneer at me as if pleased, for some reason. I remembered from the cartoons and comics of my previous life that he and Father never did get along too well. Mostly it was because of how Leo perceived his roll in the clan. The amount of time spent in the dojo was another reason. Raph just wanted to knock heads with the Foot rather than spend hours in the training room sparring. I knew that Father felt otherwise based on my recollection of said entertainment. But, here I was, the daughter of Raph's biggest pain-in-the-butt, completely clueless in how to defend herself.
Mike observed all of this from the couch. He had a bowl of popcorn and was munching enthusiastically as if he were at a boxing match waiting for the knock-out punch. He smiled at me appreciatively. Guess I was the best entertainment for the moment. The television was off, so what else was he going to watch?
"Kira, I can't believe that you've forgotten what took you years to do. It's not that easy to unlearn. Surely you remember some of it?" Leo asked me.
"Well, mentally? No. But, my arms and legs seem to – a little." I mumbled sheepishly. "Kind of, I guess…" I added hurriedly.
"'Kind of' isn't enough!" Father snapped. "If you're trying to get out of going on patrol with me, it won't work!" he declared.
"NO, no that's not it. I – um – really can't remember, is all!" I insisted.
Father looked over at Don for confirmation, but Don only shrugged his shoulders in a half-hearted attempt to agree with me. "She does seem to be having more trouble than normal, I have to admit." He finally said.
I stared at Don's obvious understated comment. I nearly lost control of keeping my mouth shut, shaking my head and rolling my eyes in frustration instead.
"Well," Leo decided as he looked back over at me, "You're going out on patrol with me and that's that. We'll just have to – ah – rekindle that memory of yours, I guess!" The smile he then gave me did not warm my heart. It was way too forced.
I had a sinking feeling that the 'rekindling' meant some serious sparring with him at my expense. Either that or he was going to deliberately put me in harms way if only to force me to own up to what he perceived to be deception.
Quite honestly, I was hoping he would opt for the sparring. The idea of meeting up with skilled ninjitsu Foot soldiers was causing my insides to do flip flops!
In no time at all he had me out of the lair and trudging along the tunnels, making sure I kept up with him as he led the way.
~*~*~*~*~*~
The sewers stunk! I'd never in my life ever smelled anything as rank as what I was walking through now. I kept my opinion to my self, however, since Father was still fuming over what he perceived to be an attempt by me to deceive him.
However, we hadn't been more than ten minutes outside of the lair when his quiet contemplation stopped along with himself. I followed suit. He signed deeply before turning in my direction.
"Kira! Can you try to at least be a little quieter!" he whispered sternly.
"What? I haven't said a word!" I countered softly but defensively.
"You're walking like an elephant!" he stated, putting his hands on his hips for emphasis and glaring at me.
"Oh… well…I'll try to step quieter." I offered meekly.
"You will go stealth, is what you will do!" he ordered, resuming his march through the tunnels.
I followed from behind trying to step as quietly as I could. I watched how Father was doing it, but no matter how hard I tried to emulate him an occasional footfall could be heard. With the hollowness of the sewers to aid in the amplification, I think even the nervous beating of my heart would have been hard to silence.
Finally after another ten minutes, he turned on me again.
"Kira, do not tempt me! You know better than to do that. I would think after the close calls we've had in the past that you out of all of us should be better at stealth walking." He seethed
"I'm trying…" I replied back, "But I just can't do it!" I grounded out between clenched teeth.
Father narrowed his eyes at me, setting his jaw in a firm line. I cringed. I knew the moment I had uttered those words, I had said them a little too harshly. I knew it was because I was stressed out – and hungry. That water did little good that was certain. But it wouldn't have mattered to the one now glaring at me as he approached determinedly. I closed my eyes, waiting for whatever discipline he had decided upon. I hunched up my shoulders out of reflex. I waited, but nothing happened.
After a moment I opened my eyes and saw that he wasn't looking at me anymore. He had his head turned slightly away, in the direction that we had been heading.
"What?" I asked softly. But then his hand came over my mouth fast while his other grabbed me and pulled me up against him. He turned back around and the look he gave me told me plenty about shutting up. My eyes teared up at that moment because I knew then that he had heard something – and it wasn't good. I could feel his breath on me as he looked hard at my expression. I would have turned my head away from him but he had his hand so firm over my mouth that I couldn't. My eyes went wide as I looked to one side. It was in that moment that Father's own eyes softened. I think it was then that he realized I had been telling the truth.
He went from indignation to extreme concern as it became clearly apparent that I was not at all ready to patrol with him. Maybe the Kira I was supposed to be would have become more battle-ready. Possibly she wouldn't have committed such dastardly crimes as I had earlier with my noisy walking. Whatever it was that Father had added up to determine the truth of the matter, I knew that I was ill prepared to meet what was obviously coming our way!