CHAPTER 11 – In For a Penny, In For a Pound!
By the time we had returned to the lair, I was exhausted. Between my hunger and then Father's attempt at humor by whirling at me unexpectedly during our patrol, I was ready to crash. I couldn't believe the 'punishment' he exacted from me all because he believed I had been 'playing him like a fine tuned piano', as he had so eloquently put it.
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The first time he had turned on me without warning was a good hour after he had nearly scared the shell off of me. I was caught completely unaware! Not thinking he would repeat his initial action earlier when he had sneaked up behind me, I had screamed. This only gave him a reason to lecture me once again about being quiet.
"Well, don't give me reasons to scream, then!" I had shot back at him irritably.
One thing I learned quickly from that comment was to not make them. Father had me do fifty pushups for that outburst! My arms were so sore and shaky afterwards I could barely hold my bo-staff when I was done! Needless to say, I focused hard in keeping my comments to myself from that point on.
But that was the first of many such wonderful lessons from him.
The one I hated the most, though, was when he'd make me take the lead as we marched along through the sewers. Again, initially I was ignorant of his reasons for doing so. I was already used to his silent foot-fall, but I could always tell when he was near me. My personal 'proximity' alarm was becoming quite acute. But when I noticed the first time that he had 'disappeared' without warning, it unnerved me quite a bit. I didn't know where he had traipsed off to, but I knew he was out there; I knew it! I could sense him.
But I just couldn't see or hear him.
Then, without so much as a breeze to warn me, he'd be right on top of me waving his swords at my head! I knew better than to run and scream– as much as my legs and lungs wanted to. So I'd grimace and throw up my bo-staff in defense, hoping I did it right so it would block his strike. After a couple of these mock attacks, he'd switch his routine and have me at a loss once more with what he was planning on doing next.
He'd then distract me with lessons on how to 'read' the sewer. The way the rats were moving around, the kind of trash filtering down into the culvert, the smells and sounds all 'said something about the environment', he would tell me. I was grateful for this bit of trivia, but after a while I began to wonder if teaching me the Way of the Sewer was only to distract me from his real intent! His Way of Terrifying me!
He did his best to teach me how to be prepared, but did he ever give me one word of instruction as far as working the staff or doing marital arts? Nope, not him. It was far too much fun, I think, for him to sneak up on me and see the color drain completely away from my face!
I was truly learning to hate him; I really was.
By the time our four hours were up, though, I had to admit that he surprised me less and less. Maybe I was coming to expect it or maybe I was starting to tap into whatever it was I didn't know I had. Father knew I had it and even Don alluded to knowing I had it. Convincing me, however, was a different game all the way around. But I think I was coming to terms with it, just the same.
When it was all said and done, though, I noticed a change in Father's demeanor. It seemed that every successful deflect I made against any of his assaults slowly dissolved away his anger. Where he would look at me with scorn in the beginning his expression started to soften little by little near the end. I did note a difference in him when this happened, too. I couldn't explain it but it was like reading the 'signs' that the sewer gave to the general 'health' of its environment. Like Father's anger, I could tell when he was pleased without having to hear any words of praise.
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As we were approaching the lair, Father hugged me and then kissed the top of my head affectionately, saying, "You did well tonight, Kira; despite my worries."
I was somewhat chagrined by his outward expression of affection and a little embarrassed. I didn't know how to react, so I didn't. I just shrugged my shoulders silently and looked away. I was tired, I think, and definitely famished by now. But I knew I had to wait until morning to eat so my thoughts at that time were to get to bed as soon as I could.
Ah, but I did forget about one thing, though. Just as I was starting to head for my room, an aged voice called out to me from another just down a ways from mine.
"Kira Siew, please come and visit with me." Splinter requested.
I was so beat and so hungry that I tried to ignore him. I went into my room and closed the door, hoping that maybe I would be excused this one time. Maybe they would think I didn't hear him and would forgive me for just this evening. One could dream, I guess, because almost as soon as my door had closed, it swung open again and there was Father, scowling at me.
"I think Splinter wishes to see you, Kira! Do not disappoint him!" he growled. Yes, Father was tired, too, but not so much that he couldn't right my rude behavior.
Taking a deep breath I nodded lazily and proceeded past his glowering self. I asked where Splinter was and Father pointed towards a door about two down from mine. I then proceeded slowly towards the rat's room.
Once inside I was assaulted by the heavy perfume of incense. Gray-ish wisps of smoke hovered against the ceiling as they tumbled slowly around, looking for a way of escape. There wasn't any so the faint cloud of fragrance kept building on itself.
Passing through an errant puff of smoke, I noticed that the floor area seemed less congested. So, noticing that Splinter was already lying in his bed, I took the area next to it and sat on the rug afforded there. I swallowed back the cough that wanted to protest the perfumy air and then did my best to look attentive.
Splinter smiled at me and stroked my head with his right hand. That same bony texture smoothed over my hairless skull, caressing my scalp. I found it pleasing and it seemed to affect my current mood. I came in irritable, tired, and frustrated. But after a moment of Splinters ministrations, I was less so. He waited for a moment or two before speaking to me. I had this gut feeling that he knew exactly what was going on inside of me and was waiting until I was ready to listen. He wasn't the patriarch of the family for nothing that was certain!
Then, he said to me, "There is still much anger and frustration in you, Kira Siew, but there is less of it tonight! I trust that all went well with your first watch?"
How could I answer him, I wondered? I could go on about how Father had delighted in terrifying me; jumping out unexpectedly and acting like he was ready to slice my head off each time. I could go on about the smells that permeated throughout the sewer; nearly making me lose my stomach on more than one occasion. I could have told him about many things that occurred during those four hours while on patrol. But I had this sinking feeling that he would have not been too sympathetic with me. I was pretty certain of this.
So, I answered meekly, "As well as could be expected, I guess!"
Yeah, that pretty much summed it up, all right! All things considered, what else could I have said to the old rat? His pride and joy, my father, Leo san, the Perfect Son, and other names that came to mind had been my guide. Whatever he deemed necessary on my behalf I was sure Splinter would have nodded approval at. So I let my comment rest on that!
Then, for the next hour Splinter did a series of verbal and meditative lessons with me. The verbal ones were trying for me considering how very tired I was. I had a hard time keeping an expression of interest without my eyes crossing from weariness.
However, I loved the meditation!
Almost immediately upon closing my eyes and trying to 'rid my mind of all thought', I found my self in dream land! It felt so good to be asleep. However, when my head bounced forward as I rushed towards unconsciousness, it startled me awake. Blinking my eyes to refocus, I saw Splinter staring at me disapprovingly.
"You will have ample time to sleep, Kira Siew. Now is the time to focus on gaining knowledge through meditation!" he admonished me gently.
"Yes, Sir…" I replied sheepishly, stifling a yawn before it could manifest itself.
So for the remainder of my hour in Splinter's room I meditated and focused – mainly on trying to stay awake. I can't honestly say that my mind was devoid of all thought since my growling stomach kept interrupting me. But, by the time Splinter called it a night, I did feel somewhat refreshed. I found it truly odd, though. I had never thought meditation of any nature could 'refresh' a person, yet that was exactly how I felt when I finally left his room.
I shuffled back down the hallway making for my bedroom door. But, I needed the restroom, first. After I was done with that I started back for my room again. However, I didn't quite make it. There standing in front of my opened door was Father. His usual expression of disdain was clearly evident on his face.
I was clueless.
"What did I do now?" I asked in a matter of fact tone. Though my time patrolling ended up on a positive note, I was still so used to having done something wrong that my response was becoming conditional. And I hadn't even been in this hell-hole for twenty-four hours yet. To me, though, it seemed like it had been weeks!
"You tell me?!" Father demanded in a huff, his hands on his hips in anger.
"Huh?" I inquired wearily. "I've been too tired to do anything. I've been in Splinter's room for the past hour, right after I returned home, an - and I just finished up in the restroom. What time would I have to do anything remotely wrong?" I complained.
"Maybe not tonight, but certainly you've been storing up!" he declared.
"What? Storing up what? What did I store up?" I asked irritably.
All Leo did was point into my bedroom and motioned with his head for me not to tarry too long in getting in there.
Rolling my eyes and resigning myself to whatever it was he had discovered, I huffed in with an attitude that was slowly edging towards critical. When I was tired and I mean really tired, I threw all caution to the wind. This was one of those times – but I really should have been in better control for once.
When I finally entered my room, there in the bottom two drawers of my dresser that had been pulled out was exposed a collection of boxed cookies, granola bars, dried fruit, and cans of vegetable juice! I just stared slack jawed and in awe. All that food was there the whole time? How'd it get there, I asked myself in wonder?
It all looked so good, too. I was mesmerized.
"How did all of that food get there, Kira?" Father demanded loudly.
How'd it get there, he asks? How in hell was I to know? But I curbed my language, replying, "A – I haven't a clue, and – B – what would possess you to even go in my room in the first place and search?" I asked indignantly.
Well, some lessons can be learned the first time, whilst others need more augmentation before they are understood. Such as my mouthing off.
I soon found my self in the dojo, doing one hundred push-ups with Father overseeing each and every grunt that I made. If I hated him earlier, I was loathing him now. No matter how hard I tried to convince him that I did not squirrel away the food and that someone else must have – just to get back at me and I wondered who that someone might have been – he ignored me completely. When I was done with my pushups I was forced to clean each and every weapon in the collection. And, yes, Father believed it was such a worthy thing for me to do that he stayed with me the entire time to make sure I did it, too.
While I cleaned, he delighted in lecturing me about integrity and honor and other blatantly boring bile that I was sure to throw up eventually. It wasn't that I disagreed with him, it was the fact that I was exhausted and falsely accused of doing something I know I didn't do. But the proof of my innocence could not be seen with the memory of those drawers filled to capacity with my pirated stash of food. Obviously, 'Kira' had figured out how to get around not being allowed to have dinner. Stupid girl should have found a better hiding place for her stash than her dresser drawers. Like under the bed, for instance.
It was near to being two in the morning by the time I had finished. When I was released from my punishment, I was allowed back in my room. Evidently while I was gone, another member of the clan had emptied the drawers of any trace of food.
"Hmm…I wonder who was drafted to do that lovely job?" I grumbled to myself.
I closed my bedroom door and then went over to sit down on my bed. My head swam with all the activity from the day. I thought a lot about what Splinter had said regarding attitude and following through. He was a sweet guy, really, but I didn't doubt his ability to smack me one if I did get out of line. But with him I didn't feel hate or resentment; just disappointment – and that hurt. I wondered if Father would tell him about his little discovery in my room.
As I took my bandanna and my elbow and knee pads off, I placed them in the top drawer. After I closed it I saw Mei Pei's mirror on the top of the dresser where I had put it last. I picked it up and studied the intricate designs that Father had cut into the wood backing. I fingered it and traced the vine and rose work, marveling at the care he had taken to make each engraving. I smiled a little. He did truly love her. I was certain he loved me, too; despite his anger towards me. I wondered when it would all even out for me to prove that I was not the Kira he thought I was. It seemed that for every step I took in that direction, I was pushed back three. At the rate I was going, by the end of the next day I was sure I'd be banished from the lair!
But I quelled any thought of that since it was starting to erode what I had left on my emotion control. I was too tired to cry anyway.
I thought about the weapons cleaning and fuming about the unfairness of it all. Stupid Kira! Was she so spoiled and ill mannered that she couldn't go without even one meal? Then I remembered my admonishment of her and commenting to myself how she should have hidden her hoard of food under the bed. I wonder….
Lifting up the comforter and the bed skirt, I lowered myself onto my plastron and looked underneath. I squinted to diffuse the light from my room and pushed my face closer to the underside. After a moment of adjusting my eyes, I couldn't help but laugh. Kira wasn't so stupid after all. In fact, she was very smart.
By filling her dresser drawers with what she could with food, she distracted any potential search from her real stash. There under where she slept was a double quantity of what the dresser had. I looked longingly at all that food. I was truly tempted, I really was. I sat back on my haunches, though, and let the bed skirt fall down in place again.
There I wrestled for ten minutes about what to do regarding this new discovery. I could say nothing about it and just let it be; but then the next inspection might be the bed. My father and the others were not stupid – not by a long shot! What harm would there be in eating some of it and then owning up to the rest of it? Well, my integrity was already at rock bottom with the other store of food being discovered. I'm sure any bit of food left on my teeth or mouth would commit me for sure.
I realized finally that here was a chance to prove myself. Here I could take the high road and do what was right by my punishment. Though even with what I had been accused of to warrant such, I knew I was innocent. But as far as Father was concerned, I wasn't. He still saw me as his Kira and she had indeed violated curfew as well as other rules of the clan. At the very least, I would be helping her reputation.
Once I had every box, bag, can, bottle, and what-have-you out from underneath the bed, I stared at it. I shook my head in amazement. It must have taken her months to collect all of it. I could only surmise that Kira had had so many dinner-less evenings that out of desperation she began to hoard. How she was able to acquire this much puzzled me, though. It wasn't like she could just waltz into the local grocer and do a bit of shopping; unless she shopped at Mike's Grocers in the kitchen pantry?
Now, there was a whole new problem all the way around. Stealing from the clan was probably not a good thing. But, I was into it this far and I was going to see it to completion.
No matter what!