CHAPTER 14 – Can You Hear Me Now?
Splinter was sitting on a rather large pillow, square in shape and a little on the tattered side with its faded red color. It afforded him the cushion and the insulation from the cool hardness of the concrete floor. He smiled as I came into the room. However, I grimaced at the same perfumed incense that clouded the interior.
"Come, Kira Siew, please sit before me!" he beckoned gently.
Fortunately, where he had pointed with one of his bony fingers was a small thick floor rug. I quickly ducked down and out of the smoky vapor to sit obediently in front of him. I waited, enduring his gaze as he took me in. My stomach growled a few times during the brief vigil, but I did my best not to react to it.
As if reading my thoughts, "Lunch is not too far a way, my child. You will eat soon enough." Splinter smiled pleasantly but then said to me in a cautionary tone, "Though I would suggest the next time you feel such anger at the table you try hard to control it!" His expression now was sterner.
I cringed, involuntarily pulling my head down a little to avoid his gaze. However, Splinter leaned forward and with one long finger under my chin pulled my head up so that I would be eye-to-eye with him. He smiled a little and then said softly, "Those who sat with you were very sensitive to what you were feeling. Though your words may not have been heard, their intent was felt by everyone." He paused and then added, "Including me!"
Splinter released my chin and stroked the side of my face gently before asking me, "What have you learned from your discipline, Kira Siew?"
I thought about what he asked. It was obvious that the rat was knowledgeable with everything that was going on with me. To be honest it made me very uncomfortable. Where I thought I had a sanctuary was now proving itself to be just a weigh station where my experiences and actions were evaluated. Considering Splinter's place in the clan, I figured his opinion of me might carry some weight with Father. I realized that here with Splinter I may have an ally – or, worse, a passive antagonist!
However, the question the rat asked me was an open-ended one. Several disciplines came to mind. The one hundred pushups; having just a granola bar for breakfast while everyone else had a more filling meal, not to mention the sparring in the chilled tunnels last evening. The painful leg cramps that morning had worsened that punishment considerably.
"Kira Siew, I have asked you a question. Do you not know the answer?" Splinter asked, his voice rising just a little.
"I am trying to think of one, Sir." I replied simply.
As if correcting me, "You will address me as Master Splinter, my child." His tone of voice told me that nothing less would suffice.
"Yes….ah….Master Splinter." I repeated sheepishly. I thought again of his question and realized that I just didn't have an answer. "I'm sorry but I am somewhat overwhelmed with your question."
Splinter raised his muzzle and looked down at me, puzzled, "How can a simple question overwhelm you, Kira Siew?"
I furrowed my eye ridge and then said, "The question is not the problem, Master Splinter."
His eyebrows raised just a little as he asked, "Then what is the problem, Kira Siew?"
I swallowed. I wasn't sure how best to explain it. Nevertheless, I answered him, a tremor in my voice, "It is the discipline you ask about. It was anything but simple!"
Splinter grunted and then worked his whiskers a little. Finally, he told me, "Maybe so, but keep in mind that discipline helps one to decide a better path than the one they are on. Maybe you could tell me what path you find yourself on right now?"
That question had a simple answer and I didn't hesitate to share it with him, "Oh, I can answer that – surviving!"
To be honest I was just being cheeky; I was hungry and irritable – not a good combination to have and then be forced to recount my experiences of the past day. However, Splinter did not take it the way I thought he would.
He let out a chuckle that kept building on itself until it brought a smile to my face as well. Splinter laughed deeply, his tail lashing playfully as he allowed himself to enjoy a moment of mirth. His expressions were catching and if the memory of what I had to endure of late had not been so painful, I would have joined him.
Then, once he had exhausted my novel reply, he exclaimed, "Maybe once you have accepted this new direction you will find surviving a little easier. You have had two years of trying things your way and now it is time to accept responsibility for those choices." He looked at me with a renewed sober expression. "In surviving you will need to change many things in how you respond to those around you, Kira Siew. I am not saying that it will be easy because it will not be. Your father, Leonardo, expects much from you as I once expected from him. Unfortunately your mother's untimely death turned his focus away from this." The rat sighed deeply, adding, "Because of that he is trying to make up for lost time. Be patient with him, Kira Siew, and let him guide you. I trust that things will go better for you if you do!"
I weighed his words in my heart and wondered if what he said was true. Though I did not know what this Kira was like before Mei Pei died, maybe because of Father's grief for her passing he was unable to focus on controlling or training his daughter. That was a possibility. However, in his attempt to make up for lost time, I seem to be the one paying the price. I did not envy me one bit, not at all, in fact.
Splinter talked some more about a great many things. He was delighted that Donatello had willing adopted the task of becoming my sensei. When the rat went into describing the different katas and gave me insight to Don's own skill with it, I was able to determine that 'sensei' meant teacher, or something like that. Splinter was confident that whatever I had forgotten with regards to doing my kata's that Donatello would efficiently provide the means for me to remember. Frankly, it filled my head with all kinds of worries as to how he would go about doing that, too.
We meditated during the last part of our hour together. Again, I was surprised with how refreshed I felt afterwards. When I was leaving, I was 'reminded' again about addressing him as Master Splinter – as opposed to 'sir' – and instructed to bow before him as a sign of respect. At the same time, he admonished me just a little about not doing so when I first came into his presence. Considering how kind he had been towards me – his mild corrections notwithstanding – it was a pleasure to do. I bowed low before him, catching just a faint smile to his face as I turned to leave. Yes, I think if I remembered to address him properly and bow respectfully, Splinter very well might become the 'friend' that I needed in this very strange and troublesome world.
Walking down the hallway towards the living area, I thought a lot of what Splinter had told me. I had to agree with him that my reaction towards the others played a significant roll in how they responded back to me. However, I felt like I was bailing out the Titanic with a teaspoon. The lair already saw me as someone that needed constant correction. It was an uphill battle all the way around.
Entering the living area, I saw Raphael sitting on the couch. He had the remote in his hand and was flipping through the channels one station at a time. He seemed mesmerized by the changing picture on the tube; his eyes fixed on the screen. Entering the room I had to chuckle to myself at how silly he looked. However, I was thirsty and headed for the kitchen to get myself a glass of water.
I had no sooner hit the threshold of the kitchen door when I heard Raph's booming voice, "Whatcha goin' in there for, Kira?" It was not an idle question.
"I'm thirsty. Is it all right if I grab a glass of water?" I asked as respectfully as I could. Sheesh, I couldn't even quench my thirst around here without permission! It kind of irritated me.
"That depends," and then the next thing I knew he was up and heading my way. "What else were you going in there for?"
"Air!" I teased half-heartedly. I was really kidding, too, but – ah – Raphael didn't quite see the humor in it.
The next thing I knew Raph was upon me had grabbed both sides of my shoulders. In an instant, he lifted me up off the floor. Raph wasn't that much taller but the effect of his hoisting me up, forcing my feet to dangle in midair, served its purpose. We were now eye-to-eye. His seemed just a tad annoyed looking, too.
"I was kidding." I pleaded desperately. "I - I'm getting water and that's it!"
He looked hard and intently into my eyes, scowling and not at all pleased with my brand of humor, "Don't ever tempt me, Kira. You did it once, but you will never do it again – got it?"
"Hmm…n - no problem." I stammered nervously.
"I asked if you 'got it'!" Raph reiterated as he narrowed his eyes threateningly.
Wide eyed and completely intimidated, I managed to squeak out, "Yeah ... got it."
Then he dropped me and motioned for me to get what I had come for. I turned and quickly went to the cupboard that housed the drinking glasses. Once I had a cup I wasted no time in filling it up and downing the water quickly. Washing the cup out I returned it to its cabinet and then made for the exit, all the while Raph watched and observed every move I made.
I tried to get around him but he blatantly blocked the doorway. I just stood there, nearly trembling and not sure what to do. I looked up at Raph and saw a smirk that, had I been capable of, I would have swiped off his face. However, there wasn't anyway I would even venture to do that much less think about it. Considering how well Splinter said the family could sense me, I frantically pushed back any notion of such silliness. The last thing I wanted right then and there was for Raphael to 'read' the intentions I wished I had been capable of doing. To be honest, I felt Father would have had to pry me off the linoleum after Raph was through with me.
Finally out of desperation, I asked him, "May I pass, please?"
He made me wait there for a good minute while he debated, his eyes never leaving mine. Finally, he said to me, "So long as you remember your place in this lair – and keep away from my sais – you can!" Raphael then stepped aside and with a wave of his arm, allowed me to go by him. I muttered a weak 'thank you' and scurried on in through the living room and down the hallway.
By the time I reached my bedroom I was almost in tears. I barely caught the figure of Donatello coming out of his room as I slipped inside my own. Closing the door, I fell into my bed and balled my eyes out. I shook from head to toe; I'd never seen such a look on any of their faces before like the one Raph had given me. The only thing I was grateful about was that for the most part, other than at mealtime, I wouldn't have to deal with him.
About thirty minutes went by and then I heard a rap on the outside of my door. It was Father. "Kira, may I come in?" he asked.
Odd that he would ask to come in. Previous visits to my room he would just knock and then open the door. However, I wasn't complaining. I had been crying nearly the entire time I had been in my room and I really didn't want him to see me right yet. I grabbed some tissue from a box on the floor and quickly dried my eyes. The redness I couldn't do much about, so I ignored it.
Finally, I told Father he could come in.
He noticed right away that I had been weeping. He hesitated for a moment, studying me as if to size up the situation. Then, he announced, "You're expected in the dojo in ten minutes." He paused as I looked back at him, trying to control my sporadic shudders that betrayed my composure. "Maybe you ought to – ah – clean up a bit in the bathroom before heading over there." He then left the room.
"Clean up a bit? Why? What's wrong with a crying ninja anyway? Are they afraid of tears? Do tears make them feel weak? Scaredy-cats!" I mumbled silently all the way to the bathroom. I washed my face and then looked hard at my self in the mirror. Green was starting to look a little more familiar, but it was still kind of a shock to me. It had barely been twenty-four hours since my transformation. Good grief it seemed like weeks to me.
As I came out of the bathroom, I saw Donatello heading for the living area. I thought it odd since I knew Father mentioned for me to be in the dojo. Maybe Don had to get something before working with me.
Well, I decided that at the very least I would beat him to the punch. Hurrying into the dojo I mentally reviewed what Donatello had taught me last evening. I had my back to the entrance of the room while I tried to remember the various moves and positions he had shown me. I did my best to recall them and I knew I had forgotten a few steps. Yet I thought I had done rather well, all things considered.
Suddenly an all too familiar voice startled me around, nearly causing my heart to jump right out of my chest.
"Humph, you call that a bassai-sho? I know Leo taught you better'n that, Kira!" Raph sneered.
He walked towards me and then began his own rendition of the kata, only his form and fluidity made my lame attempt pale in comparison. He had each part nailed to perfection and it was obvious to me that it came from years of practice.
While he worked, out of reflex I backed up to give him room – and to avoid being so close to him. I was terrified that Raphael was in the same room with me. After our confrontation earlier in the kitchen, I wanted nothing more to do with him. He scared me to death.
I looked desperately towards the doorway, hoping that Donatello would stride through any moment. However, as the seconds ticked away into minutes and as I watched Raph go into yet another type of kata, a slow horrifying realization crept into my consciousness.
Donatello was not going be my sensei that morning.
Raphael was!
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PRETENDER FANATIC: Ah, gee, I'm glad I could do that for you! I know that reading Fanfiction was my boost to do my own and it still is! Yeah, the voices sound weird, but it'll all make sense – sort of – with the last two chapters. Leg cramps I know all too well! Sometimes I get all-body cramps where every muscle seems to be twisting and pulling at me. Not a happy place to be! :0( I wasn't too sure if working out like she did so late and where it was so cold and then not soaking in a hot tub, being overtired, stressed, etc…would cause muscle spasms. However, I went for it just the same! Thanks so much for reading and reviewing! Be blessed.
RAMICA: Voices? What voices? I don't hear any voices? Do you hear voices? Hmm…Kira certainly does. Yeah, granola bars are nice snacks, but measured up against a full-blown breakfast like what Mike had cooked up, I don't know. I think I would have ranted a bit. However, I know how Leo would have responded. Not too well! As far as waiting and for how long, it will determine how creative and how fast I can type! LOL Thanks for reading and reviewing! Be blessed.
DANCINGFAE: I decided on the fly to give her only a granola bar to eat. I was originally going to reinstate her but then the stash under the bed plus Mike's reaction ( I keep forgetting that I'm the one writing this and not the characters dictating…tough to separate the two at times! ), I figure a creative way to punish her was in order. Yet, they didn't want her to go without something to eat since she did willingly own up to it and took it upon herself to put all the food back into the kitchen. I am always amused how these stories write out. Never storyboarded and they probably should be, all things considered. Ah, but then there wouldn't be a surprise for me then, would there? LOL Actually, the TMNT's can't read minds. The best they can do is 'sense' the intent behind what is being thought; basically, they have an emotionally Geiger-counter, if you will. The stronger the emotion the better they can 'tell' what she's thinking. Words are irrelevant in this case! Yeah, as far as 'sensing' her turmoil, the 'other' Kira's history will become more apparent as the story develops. I just hope I don't forget to do that. I'm listing all of my ideas on a separate 'chapter' just so I don't do that! Thanks a lot for reading and reviewing! Be blessed.
BUSLADY OFSOCAL: Hee hee!! Yep, I'm sure not! I'm sure Kira will gag on the next one, you can bet on it! I hope chapter 15 will flesh out your Raphy a little more. I'd like to get all of them tricked out to their full wonderful selves. I take it one chapter at a time, though. Thanks for reading and reviewing and for putting up with my IM0-ing! Oh, and if anyone wants to IM me my AIM name is muggee52 – I think, anyway. Hmmm…