Hello! This is my first ever HP fic, so be nice to me, yeah? This was going to be a drabble length thing to begin with, but it got bigger. And bigger.

Disclaimer: I don't own them, I wish I did. I'm merely borrowing them for a nice lady named J.K. Rowling.

Note: Yep, its not too angsty at the moment but i fear it will be by the next chapter.

Warning: Yep, there is slash here. If you don't like that, maybe you should hit the 'back' button right now. I don't really fancy any flames from people who overlooked the warnings. There's really no point in torturing yourself over this if you hate it, is there?

If that's all settled, shall we begin?

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Equally cursed and blessed.

Tonight there would be a full moon. Not many people knew this or cared to know either. Only a small group of four who were currently sitting in the Griffindor common room would pay any particular amount of attention to this information, and they themselves had only just come to realize it. One of these boys was a lycanthrope, he sat on the edge of the sofa staring blindly into the fire, listening to the rain pelting against the high windows. Outside, the already dark sky was dimming to that of the evening sky.

Next to him sat James Potter, Quidditch extraordinaire, or so he would have you believe. He looked as bored as Remus felt, staring aimlessly at the fluttering snitch held in his left hand. Suddenly, he turned to Remus and spoke. "I can't believe you forgot there would be a full moon tonight! I mean, how do you forget something like that?" before Remus could answer, another voice answered for him, from somewhere down by his feet. "I'd say it was a good thing." Sirius lay gracelessly on the floor in front of the fire, staring up at the ceiling, "He's got a point" Remus finally said, the first thing he'd said for a while. "I haven't been feeling ill or anything, which I normally do. Maybe it means...tonight won't be so bad? I mean, I don't look ill do I?" James shook his head, but he still looked sceptical.

Today was Saturday, normally they would be doing something interesting. Something 'interesting' would normally mean, anything as long as it wasn't cooped up in Griffindor tower, like they were. It was raining hard, had been since yesterday morning and was showing no signs of letting up anytime soon. Therefore, nobody felt like going outside. And any innocent walking around the castle corridors would normally be considered being "up to no good" if they happened to cross paths with Filch the caretaker. Remus knew this was partly true anyway, because normally, when they did walk around the castle, an unsuspecting Slytherin would find themselves being hexed(or worse) by James and Sirius, while Remus and Peter would have nothing else to do but stand by and watch. Remus had tried time and time again to tell Sirius that if they didn't stop doing it, they would land up in serious trouble. But it seemed to go in one ear and out the other, so he just gave up. Anyway, nobody felt up to that today either, so they just stayed where they were. Being bored.

Peter sat on the floor next to Sirius, staring intently at a book, trying to finish his potions homework (though if he was actually reading it was anyone's guess) and would now and again sigh in a very exaggerated manner, while Sirius sat up and said "I'm bored." For the 20th time in half an hour. James looked just about ready to explode and threw a cushion at him. "Shut up! That's the 20th time you've said that. We're all bored, can't you tell? Bloody weather."

Everyone knew these boys, but only they knew themselves as the Marauders. Most people just saw their small group as James and Sirius. James known for his abilities on the Quidditch pitch and the fact that he was just smart overall, and Sirius with his amazing ability to make nearly ever girl he passed in the corridor blush deeply, just from being himself. If Remus didn't know them two, he probably would have been very jealous. James being so effortlessly intelligent (how did it happen? He certainly didn't pay attention in any of his classes), Sirius for being beautiful and so damn popular. The way everyone liked him (apart from the Slytherins, especially Severus Snape who hated James just as much), the way he smiled, and the way his dark hair got in his eyes, making him look like one of those muggle rockstars. Not that Remus knew much about rockstars, weather they were muggle or otherwise. Yeah, he liked Sirius a lot, and so did the wolf.

Remus was pulled from his thoughts by the incessant tugging on his trouser leg. He looked down to see Sirius had dragged himself away from his place near the fire and was smiling up at him.

"What is it?" Remus asked nonchalantly.

"I'm sooo bored. Want to go down to the kitchen? We could get chocolate, the house elves know me, we could get loads..." his smile was so big, he looked like a kid opening christmas presents. However, the smile faltered when Remus shook his head. "No. I have to go soon anyway, remember? Madam Pomfrey will probably be here soon." He said in a quiet voice, not wanting anyone to hear. Seeing the disappointed look he was getting he added "I'm sorry. Really. Why don't you ask James?" Sirius aimed an incredulous look in James' direction, while the other black haired boy scowled back at him, snitch still in hand.

"No." Sirius replied, looking back at Remus. "He'd much rather sit here and torture himself over Evans. Its horrible what love does to you. Makes you all soppy and everything, nothing but trouble!"

Overhearing this, James chipped into the conversation. "Actually, I'll have you know, Padfoot, that shes starting to fall for me." He said with a smirk. "How can you tell?" Remus asked. "When she came through here earlier on today, she didn't swear at me, she only stuck her fingers up. Normally she does both." James added when he saw the unimpressed looks on his friend's faces.

"Oh." Remus replied, not knowing what else to say. Sirius' head dropped melodramatically onto Remus' knee. "Yeah, I mean, if that isn't love, I don't know what is." Remus smiled. "You may laugh and joke now pups, but I'm telling you, you wont be when me and Lily are married." James said, a self-satisfied grin plastered across his face.

A short while later, when Remus had gone back to staring into the fire, Sirius seemed on the verge of falling asleep with his head in Remus' lap, and Peter had fallen asleep with his head in his book, Madam Pomfrey silent arrived in the common room. She quickly caught Remus' attention. "Can I have a quick word Mr. Lupin?" she asked politely, gesturing to the portrait hole. Remus moved to stand up, earning an unhappy yelp from Sirius who had so abruptly lost his pillow, who stopped once he quickly climbed onto the sofa and curled up in the space Remus had been sitting in.

Madam Pomfrey made up some half hearted story about his father falling ill, and Remus needing to go home to see him straight away, just in case anyone happened to be listening. Of course, something like happened every month, on the night of the full moon. Remus nodded in all the right places, and when she finally said, "I'll be waiting for you downstairs" he knew she meant in front of the whomping willow.

"Thank you." He said finally. "I'll be down in a minute then." Madam Pomfrey smiled, nodded and then took her leave.

Remus turned and made his way over to his friends who were watching him intently, with the exception of Peter who was still asleep. There were only a couple of Griffindors' in the common room now, many of them having gone up to their dorms already, but still they spoke in lowered tones. "Guess I'll be going then." Remus finally said. Sirius nodded.

"You know...you don't have to come out tonight. I think I'll be ok by myself." Remus said quietly.

"What??" Sirius practically shouted, earning an elbow in the ribs from James. "Oww".His little outbreak didn't attract any unwanted attention thankfully, except from Peter who stirred in his sleep and muttered something softly which sounded strangely like "I want the cake".

"What do you mean?" James asked. "You don't normally go by yourself. What's so different about tonight? Are you feeling ok?"

"I'm feeling fine. I think I might be ok by myself tonight. And I don't want you lot having to come out with me all the time." He said, forcing a smile.

"Why do you think we became animagi? We want to help." James said. Sirius nodded. "We'll only be worrying if we're sitting around here. You could be out hurting yourself, you know?" Sirius added.

Remus shook his head. "I'll be fine, alright? You two really do worry too much! Just for tonight. It could be...changing. Please?" he asked. He took their silence as a yes. "Great. I'll see you tomorrow then." He said and he turned to go to the portrait hole. As he stepped out into the corridor he heard footsteps behind him. He turned to see Sirius coming up after him.

"What?" Remus asked, aware of the fact that by now Madam Pomfrey would probably be worrying about where he was.

Sirius stopped in front of him and grabbed hold of his arm. "It's just...be careful. And I mean it, be really careful. Just because your not feeling ill doesn't mean it'll all be great tonight. It's a werewolf remember?" He whispered the last bit.

Remus saw the worry in Sirius' eyes, even in the semi-darkness. He smiled and patted his arm comfortingly. When he spoke it was soft. "This is something I have to do by myself. You won't always be here for me." Strangely enough, it hurt to say that. He hesitated when he saw how sad Sirius now looked. "But I promise, as much as I can, I'll be careful." "You better be." Sirius said faintly "I wont be too happy to find you bleeding worse than normal tomorrow when I know I could have been there to stop it from happening."

Remus smiled, and took Sirius' hand, to lift it from his own arm. "Thank you for caring. Nobody has really cared that much before." He reluctantly let go of Sirius' hand and turned to make his way down the corridor.

Sirius stood there for a while, until it was silent, as though Remus hadn't been standing in front of him only a couple of minutes ago. Why had he been so effected by what the other boy had said? He felt sad. Sad for Remus and how he had so readily excepted what he had to go through alone. For a second, the injustice of it all made him want to cry. It was a curse, when Remus really needed a blessing. As he made his was towards the portrait hole, which was still open slightly, the Fat Lady spoke. "Young love..." she murmured sleepily. Sirius didn't know weather to smile at her or not.

Neither James nor Peter were in the common room when Sirius came back in. He was alone, save for the slowly dying embers of the fire and the continuing patter of the rain against the outside of the castle. He found them in their dormitory, James sitting on his bed, a Quidditch magazine in one hand, the snitch nowhere to be seen. Peter was already asleep, on his side turned away from them. James watched Sirius come in and sit down on his own bed, staring off into space.

"Couldn't change his mind then?" James asked, bringing Sirius out of his trance. "Hm? No, I don't know what's going on in that head of his. I really hope he's going to be ok though. I'm worried." Sirius said, turning to look at James, so he didn't have to look at the lonely unoccupied bed on the other side of the room.

"I'm worried too. We could always go down later. After his changed, just to make sure." As appealing as this sounded, Sirius shook his head. "No. He really wants to be alone. Seriously. Maybe we should just let him for tonight." James nodded, before scrambling under the covers to read his magazine. Sirius felt far too on edge to go straight to sleep. He looked out of the window, through the heavy rain and into the night sky. He saw the huge shining moon. Full and majestic in the sky, and yet evil for what it did to his friend. He saw the burning bright star next to it, winking happily as if everything was good in the world. The Dog Star. Despite himself, Sirius smiled. His star would be watching over the wolf even if he himself couldn't.

Madam Pomfrey left Remus at the entrance to the whomping willow. "I'll be there for you at 8 tomorrow morning. Is that ok dear? She was asking him sympathetically. Remus nodded, knowing that she would be there at 8, even if he said otherwise. She smiled weakly at his silent answer and patted his cheek as though he was a young child. "Good boy. Be safe" she said quickly as she gathered her robes around her to fend of the cold, and headed back towards the sanctuary of the school. Remus headed to a sanctuary of a different kind.

Now he stood shaky and alone in the bedroom of the Shrieking Shack. He stood in the darkness by the window, or what was left of it as it had been boarded up, like all the windows. The rain still managed to find its way in through the small gaps in the boards. A look of loathing painted his face as he stood staring up at the moon. It laughed back at him it seemed. The wolf inside him growled up at it, to Remus it felt like an itch in the back of his mind. He saw the Dog Star next to the moon, standing out like a beacon in the darkness. It gave him a faint glimmer of hope and he smiled.

The dog should be with us. The wolf suddenly said to Remus in his mind. Where is he? "He's safe." Remus replied simply. Could the wolf see the star too? He silently wished upon it, feeling like a child again. It made him think of James and Sirius, safe back up in Hogwarts. Did he make a mistake telling them to stay there tonight? Part of his mind said, yes, he did make a mistake. But he watched the star hopefully, and smiled when it winked down at him. He had one final thought, as he became to change. Sirius will be with us after all.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Well this is the first part done. I didn't mean for it to be this long, but...it is. Let me know what you think so far, because I'm not sure if I like it at the moment or not. I think, James and Sirius wouldn't have let Remus go out alone like that, really. BUT! In order for the story to work, I had to do that. I guess that makes them OOC. Oh dear. I'll post the second part ASAP. Thanks for reading -