I do not own Smash Brothers. I wish I did though....
A whistling pink object, made a crash landing roughly ten miles from the explosion.
He looked around and saw Oak trees, bushes, and grass all wither up and die. This was due to the massive dose of radiation he received from the explosion. This massacre of plant life reminded him of something important.
"I'm hungry."
Before heading off to find a community to mooch off, he thought it wise to shake off the nuclear fallout. He experienced eating dead things before. Corpses had a stale taste. He found that out while working at a pet cemetery. He was fired when his employer was informed that he was the one that dug up, and therefore defiled, a grave. He remembered it all too well.
"People eat store-bought chickens that happen to be DEAD," reasoned Kirby, "so why can't I eat one that's dead and buried?"
"You can't go around eating pets." Replied Kirby's boss.
"I only ate one!" Kirby said, trying to appease his boss.
His employer slammed his fist down upon his oak desk. "You did that while the family was watching!!! "
The mere memory had soured Kirby's day even more.
"Stupid loving family...had to visit on the anniversary of their pet's death."
He got on all fours and shook himself like a dog and scattering radioactive fallout throughout the air. Feeling radioactive free, he rambled off through the forest.
The nuclear fallout, meanwhile, descended upon a lake. Most of the fishes in the lake died off. Four others mutated into adolescent altered shinobi ichthyoids, only to be eaten by their master, a mutant cat who happened to be a lousy sensei. On a pathway near said lake, two people were walking and arguing loudly. One carried a bucket, the other a walking stick.
"Grandma! Why do we have to walk today?" Whined the skinny brat. "It's too sunny."
The old lady just gave a sneer at her young charge. "Shut your yap, you waste of existence! I need to get some water to cook food. Ya know, the stuff you need to stay alive. Idiot."
When they reached the edge of the lake, the old lady shoved her grandson and smacked his butt with her cane.
"Now do your job you piece of crap and get my water, or I'll open a can of whoop ass on you!"
The kid rubbed his sore ass. "You know, most people say please."
The lady waved her cane at him. "Just get it, you smart-ass!"
The kid bent down and scooped up some water.
"Taste it first!" Shrieked the old woman. "I don't want any Cucco crap in my water!"
"Why bother," murmured the kid. "You're nastier than any kind of crap."
The kid took a swig of the water with a ladle and smacked his lips.
"Hmmm, tastes funny."
The old woman impatiently tapped her foot. "Hurry up you freak of life."
Unreasonable rage started to flood his mind. "Ohhh!!! She makes me so MAD!!"
The kid starts transforming becoming a 20-foot tall green giant, bulging with muscles. When the metamorphosis was complete, the Hulk-Kid started to roar.
"GRRR!!!! HULK-KID SMASH PUNY OLD GRANDMA!!!"
The monstrous figure walked towards his decrepit grandmother while rubbing his boulder-sized knuckles.
The old lady just scoffed at her grandson's sudden growth-spurt. "So you want a fight, huh!"
The old lady tosses away her walking stick and brings out her beating stick.
"Bring it on, you whippersnapper."
The Hulk-Kid, formerly known as the Kid, lunged at the old lady who brandished her beating stick at the incoming giant. Their battle would destroy parts of Hyrule and most of the countryside. However, few would care of homes being destroyed. Link and Zelda have always been the focus in Hyrule. For now, so is Kirby.
(END FLASHBACK)
Strolling through the town in search of...
Wait, What's that? How did he escape from the farmers? Why magic of course. Any other plot hole you spot, remember. Its magic! ............Magic!
Kirby lacked a weapon so he went to find a store that sold weapons. He found a sleazy run-down shack. Staring out of the window was a devious looking proprietor rubbing his hands and flashing a predator's smile.
"Eh." He figured. "Beats K-Mart."
He entered the store and started to browse the wares. He noticed that blade and hilts were sold separately. There also happened to be an option to upgrade the blade from wood to rock. He walked up to the store Proprietor.
"Whatcha got in the back."
"Welll sirrr," he puts an object on the counter, "I have this experimental prototype weapon. One of these will bring down a giant."
Kirby stared at the giant killing device.
"It's a rock..."
The proprietor proudly smiled. "That's right it's a rock. The same rock that killed Goliath."
"I saw you pick it up outside while I was walking here," pointed out Kirby.
"Of course," said the shopkeeper. "I kept it outside for people to admire. You don't think I let this eye candy go to waste do you?
"I think I'll pass. Do you have anything else?
The Proprietor placed another item upon the counter. "I have this Mossenburg 12 gauge shotgun."
"What?"
The shopkeeper bellowed: "I SAID IT'S A-"
"I HEARD YOU, DUMBASS!"
The proprietor was slightly taken aback by Kirby's outburst. "So what's your problem?"
Kirby prodded the shotgun a few times. "Umm... isn't this weapon an anomaly in a land filled with blades, shields, and bows?
The proprietor looked puzzled. "Whatever do you mean?"
Kirby restrained himself from murdering the proprietor. "Never mind..."
The proprietor snapped his fingers. "Well, we do have a sword that could rival the Master Sword."
Kirby felt his luck changing. "Perfect, bring it out."
"Wait one moment, sir. I must fetch it from my secret underground vault."
"Hey," said Kirby. "You just told me about it. What's so secret about it now?"
The proprietor puts on a pair of shades and takes out a neuralyzer.
"What the..." uttered the surprised star warrior.
FLASH, FLOOOM.
Kirby felt his luck changing. "Perfect, bring it out."
The Proprietor gave a slight nod.
He headed off through the Stock room door. Kirby past the time by looking out of the dust coated windows. He happened to see the proprietor, with a spray paint can, walking outside.
"What the hell?"
The Proprietor gathered a bunch of sticks together, spray-painted them sliver, and taped them together with duct tape. With a cheerful whistle, he headed back towards his store.
"..."
While heading back towards the cashier register, the Proprietor tried to be discrete in taping on a hilt for his make shift sword.
He bowed his head before Kirby and stretched out his arms presenting him a weapon worthy of praise from an arts and crafts student from Kindergarten. "May I present to you, the not-quite-so Master Sword."
"Listen," began Kirby, "I-"
The proprietor barreled on. "Since you're such a nice guy, I'll knock off 1 off its original retail price. That comes up to be 49500 rupees."
The snapping of Kirby's temper frightened wild life. "Listen you cesspool of shit! I don't know what people told you about me! But I can think, I do have a centre of logic, and I am not just filled with hot air! In fact, I don't need any of your shoddy merchandise!
In a huff, Kirby left the store in a hurry.
Ten minutes later.
"Look whose come back to this sorry cesspool," announced the proprietor with a smug sneer. "With his fancy eye patch, his elegant sling, his gnawing piranha, and a colourful icepack placed meticulously over their crotch.
Kirby slammed down a bag of rupees upon the counter. "Just give me the shotgun."