This is Kent Brockman reporting live at the case of the century. According to my sources within the court, the author apparently does not own Super Smash Brothers nor the characters that star in any piece of fanfiction he's written or ever will write. This is Kent Brockman signing off.

The trainer trio arrived at the centre before the darkness completely cloaked the land. As part of fates design, a Nurse Joy was waiting at the reception desk.

She greeted them with a warm smile. "Hello Ash, Misty."

She glared murderously at Brock. She pointed a finger at him.

"I heard about you from my sisters and officer Jenny, Brock" She hissed his name in undeniably hatred.

A red shimmer filtered through her eyes. "Unlike Jenny I won't just break your legs and chip your teeth."

She slammed her fist through the desk to validate her threat.

Brock heaved a sigh. "Isn't she gorgeous and radiant."

Nurse Joy preceded to spray mace in his eyes while kicking him in the crotch.

Brock just lied on the ground, trapped in a dream stupor.

"She's touching me." He uttered blissfully.

Ash tapped Nurse Joy on her shoulder. "Excuse me, Nurse Joy. I need you to look at my Pokemon. He seems kinda hurt."

Joy stopped beating Brock senseless. Although she did so reluctantly.

She held out her arms. "Let me take a look."

She carefully cradled Kirby in her arms.

Her eyes moistened as she gently passed Him back to Ash. "Whoever did this is one despicable man."

Ash clinched his fists. "Damn it, but I couldn't stop whoever did this."

He unconsciously started squeezing Kirby-chu hard.

"But they better beware," he vowed. "I will make sure that they pay for this mistreatment."

"First I'm goin do this!"

He take his Kirby and starts bashing him against the desk. He continues until the desk is a pile of splinters, most of which are now skewing Kirby.

Ash plopped his Pokemon onto the ground.

"Then I'm goin do this!"

He starts jumping up and down on Kirby. Each time he lands, Kirby flattens out like a pancake then re-inflates when Ash makes another leap.

"Then I'm goin do this!"

Ash takes out a high-power taser and starts zapping Kirby.

Eventually, the taser could only manage to sputter out a few sparks. He throws the spent weapon at Kirby's still prone body.

Nurse Joy took this moment of peace to lay a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

"That is so sweet, Ash. Risking your well-being just for your Pokemon?"

Ash nodded.

"It's the least I can do for what that no good scumbag did. I'm going make that bad guy wish he was dead."

"So do I," thought a suddenly conscious Kirby, "so do I."

Nurse Joy, picked up Kirby's smoking body. "I'm going to start right away, Ash. By tomorrow, he'll be good as new."

Ash smiled his trademark vapid grin.

"Thanks nurse Joy."

Brock rushed over.

"I think I may have a boo-boo on my finger. Can you check it out?"

Nurse Joy held out her hand. "Let me see," she said exasperated.

Brock placed his hand on Joy's. Instantly his mind starts concocting fantasies of finally having a girlfriend. But wait, what happens next, he asked himself? Stupid Father, he never told him about the birds and bees.

Then reality came rushing back. Nurse Joy had bent his finger until the tip touched his knuckle.

"It looks fine to me. I can recommend another doctor to look at it."

Brock didn't even register the pain.

"That's okay," he responded in a love-sick daze, "I trust your advice anytime."

Nurse Joy gave a shake in disbelief before heading towards the intensive care units.

Ash gave a large yawn. "I think we should sleep now. It's late."

He grabbed Brock and headed towards the sleeping rooms.

"HELLO!!"

Misty managed to arrive just in time...to do absolutely nothing.

"....Well, shit!"

Miffed at her lack of involvement at this point, she also retired to the sleeping rooms.

Pain was gone. That was good. Insides no longer feel like fire. That should be indicating his health was adequate. Self-narration...sign of insanity, but health is definitely back.

Kirby opened his eyes and saw the dawn rising.

"What a nightmare. Oh wait, it actually happened. Note to self: plan grievous harm to human personification of stupidity"

He quickly got off the ICU and rushed for the exit.

While Kirby made a bid for freedom, Ash and his crew were shuffling through the corridors. Brock had a trouble holding his coffee, with his finger being broken and all, so it spilled on Psyduck.

Misty gasped and slapped Brock.

"Look what you done! Now he won't shut up!"

Psyduck, of course, said nothing.

"What are you talking about, Misty? Psyduck is- OUFFF"

Ash's elbow was in Brock's gut just in time.

"I mean, Psyduck is really loud today isn't he? Gee whiz, I'm so clumsy"

Misty stuck up her nose at him. "Honestly, it's like he's dead to you two."

Brock and Ash exchanged glances of unease.

At this moment, Kirby was tiptoeing his way to the automatic entrance.

Ash pointed at Kirby like some deranged baby. "Kirby-Chu!"

He started rushing over to him.

Kirby, sensing imminent danger, made a mad dash to the exit.

Before freedom could be attained. The entrance exploded in a million pieces, buffeting everyone present. A particularly large piece crushed Psyduck causing stuffing to spray out in all directions.

"Nooo!!" howled Misty. "You killed Psyduck! You bastards."

She started to charge at the unknown attacker when a rock struck her head, knocking her out.

A giant, robot, with streamlined appearance blocked the entrance way.

(insert team Rocket motto)

Author's note: Like hell I'm going to type it out.

Ash gaped at them. "It's team Rocket"

"REALLYYY," said Brock. "Cause you know, it's hard to tell it's them with the big red R on their shirt and the cat that sticks to them like flies on shit. Why come to think of it, all those times we met, I still couldn't figure out their identify until now, despite the fact they announce themselves each and every time they fight us. Oh how, did you do it, Ash? Do you have psychic powers? Then why don't you just crush them and save us all the trouble? Better yet, why don't you get Nurse Joy or Officer Jenny to like me. Oh Why! WHY DON'T THEY LIKE ME!! IT'S JUST NOT FAIR!!!"

Brock runs off crying. Ash and Team Rocket just watched the outrageous spectacle. Kirby was devouring everything edible.

Meowth turned towards his friends.

"Am I that much of a bother?"

Jesse gave an uneasy grin.

"You are the clingy sort."

James nodded in agreement.

Meowth's eyes grew large and teary.

"If that's what you think, I'm outta here!"

Meowth hopped out of the machine of death and headed off into the sunset.

Jesse slammed her fist against her console. "Drat, the plan would've been fool proof, but we needed Meowth."

James just recessed deeper into his seat and sighed. "This plan has been a bust. We might as well just blow ourselves up."

He slammed a button that said: "In case of failure in plan, press this button."

The robot's reactor core approached critical and exploded, sending debris everywhere.

(Insert Team Rocket farewell scene)

Author's note: See above note.